Someone please help me understand my parents thought process

[JRPGfantatic]

I had a similar problem in High School, and I found that the best way to help yourself before you can get out is to find someone to talk to. For me, it was my step-dad, seeing as he understood what I was going through. Try finding an older family member that you have a good relationship with to talk about this with. It helps greatly with the stress. Also, simply proving that, no, she doesn't have complete control over your life can go a long way. Personally, I simply got an earring, but every situation is different. If there's something you want that your parent/s are completely against, give them some time to reason, but don't back down. Every little victory can sometimes prove your independence.

Hope it helped.

 

[Alrocsmash]

Move in with a friend.

You have a job. Thats rent.

Get student loans.

 

[Treaos Serrare]

NapoleonWilson: seriously? stfu dude

OT: stand up for yourself and tell them to do their own damn chores once in a while, you've got more important shit to be doing

 

[Jewrean]

If this ISN'T exaggerated then you have a retarded Mother. You mad bro?

 

[kannibus]

Sorry dude, nothing that can be done, your mom's a bit off her rocker and the only thing you can do is move your ass out of there at the earliest opportunity. I recommend finding a job on the other side of the country.

Serious, that's pretty much it for what you can do.

 

[Random Argument Man]

Say the following.

" Mom, I'm happy to help you around the house. I don't mind helping you.

However, I wished you could tone down a little with the yelling. I'm not saying that you do it all the time... Just sometimes and it creates a tense atmosphere between us. The last thing that I want is a big fight in the house.

I'm willing to help after my shifts. If you have any suggestions that could make you happy, please don't hesitate to them to me. I would be willing to listen. Thank you."

If she's still negative and goes worst, then the faster you can move: THE BETTER. You could always find a job on campus too.

 

[Sikachu]

when I actually do chores for her >.> fucking hell.

Aaaaaand we're at the heart of easily over 90% of the whining in the thread. You're not doing chores "for her". You're doing chores because they need to be done. It's scary how many of the posters here don't seem to get this. Average age of respondant in this thread is probably about 14 though so probably not all that surprising actually.

 

[Sikachu]

Say the following.

" Mom, I'm happy to help you around the house. I don't mind helping you.

However, I wished you could tone down a little with the yelling. I'm not saying that you do it all the time... Just sometimes and it creates a tense atmosphere between us. The last thing that I want is a big fight in the house.

I'm willing to help after my shifts. If you have any suggestions that could make you happy, please don't hesitate to them to me. I would be willing to listen. Thank you."

If she's still negative and goes worst, then the faster you can move: THE BETTER. You could always find a job on campus too.

And hopefully, after the first sentence, she'll cut you off and tell you to get the fuck out of her house to which you contribute nothing and don't feel a personal stake in. YOU AREN'T HELPING HER, YOU'RE EARNING YOUR KEEP AND IF YOU DON'T DO SO GLADLY YOU SHOULD BE PAYING FAIR MARKET VALUE FOR A LODGER.

 

[Dexiro]

when I actually do chores for her >.> fucking hell.

Aaaaaand we're at the heart of easily over 90% of the whining in the thread. You're not doing chores "for her". You're doing chores because they need to be done. It's scary how many of the posters here don't seem to get this. Average age of respondant in this thread is probably about 14 though so probably not all that surprising actually.

Didn't you read the rest of my post? I'm quite happy to do chores (even with their criticism), it's just when I do them they can't wait to start ripping into me and tell me what a shit job I'm doing despite me often doing a better job than they would have.

 

[Sikachu]

when I actually do chores for her >.> fucking hell.

Aaaaaand we're at the heart of easily over 90% of the whining in the thread. You're not doing chores "for her". You're doing chores because they need to be done. It's scary how many of the posters here don't seem to get this. Average age of respondant in this thread is probably about 14 though so probably not all that surprising actually.

Didn't you read the rest of my post? I'm quite happy to do chores (even with their criticism), it's just when I do them they can't wait to start ripping into me and tell me what a shit job I'm doing despite me often doing a better job than they would have.

Of course I read the rest of your post. That you're happy to do chores doesn't change the fact the your mindset is that you're doing them "for her". I'm silent on whether or not your mum is a ***** about it, because I have no way of knowing and I honestly don't care.

 

[dvd_72]

Make a list of every chore you've done on a given day, possibally with time put into it, and wave it into her face, then ask her what more you could have done? I'm not for just hunching your shoulders and enduring it because that wont solve anything.

I know it's not easy standing up to parents like that but this is something that would drive me to one big yellfest. Sometimes people like her need to be (metaphorically) beaten around the head with facts before they can see it.

Or you can do what your sister did and GTFO as soon as possable. See if you can't move in with a friend and share rent or something. Like Eri said, she may apreciate all you do once you're gone.

Hysterical over-reaction much? Parent is unreasonable on one day about chores, as told by adolescent doing said chores, with little in the way of wider context. MOVE OUT OF HOUSE AND IN WITH FRIEND!!!11

Blowing what I said out of proportion much? From what I read in the OP I got the idea that this is only an example of a situation that continually repeats itself. Also, I did not say that was the only option. With a proper read through you would have noted that I suggested trying to get teh parent to see how unreasonable she is as a first course.

If your parent it sitting on your back like a gargoyl and is making you miserable because it's impossable to please him/her, and they are unable to see how painfull thier actions are, then I think moving out is a valid solution.

Next time, take the whole post into context, and not just one little bit of it.

 

[NapoleonWilson]

I read the whole thing and stand by my statement...sorry...This sounds exactly like any other sob story I have heard, or told someone myself when I was an ignorant little child. I love this too...I tell this kid the truth in the hopes he actually considers someone eleses perspective and I get some stupid report banning thing. Looking at some of these posts about, killing the parents and throwing them into woodchippers or hiding the bodies when all we get is one side of an arguement from and extremely unreliable narrator,...yeah...I am the one that deserves banning for writing something offensive. bah..couldn't care less...Good Luck kids.