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NewClassic_v1legacy

Bringer of Words
Jul 30, 2008
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Johnn Johnston post=18.72588.772396 said:
NewClassic post=18.72588.772294 said:
This post is going to make Larenxis laugh, and only she knows why.
Ok, I've thought about that for a while now, and it has officially made my brain hurt. Is it to do with the bold font? Or something else entirely? Maybe it is a trick? Perhaps - oh, wait, it just gave me an aneurysm.
Yes.

Easykill post=18.72588.772450 said:
NewClassic post=18.72588.772294 said:
This post is going to make Larenxis laugh, and only she knows why.
It's an inside joke about 64, isn't it?
No.
 

Easykill

New member
Sep 13, 2007
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Book-, or maybe Videogame-

This is based on the most interesting dream I?ve ever had. It still manages to mostly be happy even through almost all my friends and family being enslaved(pretty much the whole human race actually), one dying for trying to resist and accomplishing nothing, the slow descent into madness of my one other friend who was accepted into the new society, and my own death much later. Yay.
In [Book/Videogame], a race of graceful, humanoid reptiles gifted with magic called Sylians come to modern day earth and conquer the world, enslaving most of the population and destroying every government in a matter of minutes. This [Book/Videogame] is not about resisting them. That would be impossible. This book is about one of the select few who are accepted into their society, and what he accomplishes.
The protagonist, that?s me of course, was spared from slavery along with a few others because the Sylians arrival had changed something in them. They could use magic.
Magic was the Sylian equivalent of sentiency, to them other humans were nothing more than smart, disobedient animals, and because their religion holds that the gods granted magic, and we were the only sentient race ever known not to have magic, we were also seen as cursed by the gods.
All humans are technically capable of magic, but our use of it has been blocked, by what we don?t know. All of our magic is ?locked? in our minds to start with, but being near an instance of magic is enough to ?unlock? a very small portion of the population, and there is one person, a friend before the Coming, who has the ability to ?unlock? a human?s mind and even grant the Sylian greater use of their powers. The ability is called Breaking, and David Stewart becomes worshipped as a living god (literally) for it, as nothing like it had ever been known. The demands of his position, and my own interests, mean we don?t talk often before long.
David may well have been the reason three people in our group of friends had magic. The other friend was Allen Beck. But Allen is nearly inconsequential to the story because he refused to see humanity was beat and tried to start a resistance, then died before he freed a single slave.
When we are accepted into their society, we are assigned a sort of guide who helps us find our way in the new world, someone well versed in Sylian culture, lore, and magic theory. With their help, we came to understand the unusual structure of Sylian society quite quickly, and lost most of our hatred for them as we gain understanding, although we could never agree with them. We were human after all.
The lizard-men are called Sylians and are not in any way evil. Their home became unlivable over thousands and thousands of years as the pure-magic creatures with whom they co-existed died, and the untamed magic they contained was released, magic pollution if you will. It got to the point where no chemical life form could survive long, and the Sylians came here.
Sylians don?t really have a form of government per se, but they get things done. Power isn?t really valued among the Sylians, and because magic brings with it the leisure required to do so, especially when they have slaves, most Sylians spend most of their time in study of what they love. This sort of atmosphere is bad for the more traditional governments they used to have, because the public is always well informed about everything.
There was no real popular opinion except on the most basic things, and when the people inevitably disagreed with the current government about something, they would revolt. Eventually it got to the point where there were several revolutions going on constantly, and that in itself became their government. Different political ?parties? all acting for what they believed was right without regard to the rest of the population, who they?d given up on. More and more of the warring ?parties? appeared, and soon they became an accepted part of life.
Then they started to leave the political field. Associations similar to Unions began to set up, looking after the interests of the people who had a certain interest or occupation. Out of necessity, the conflicts started to become friendlier, and soon it was rare for anyone to die when there was a Clan conflict except in certain necessarily violent ?Clans?. Now, nearly everyone was in a Clan, and there were millions, some with only a few members.
As David?s friend, I had a lot of influence, and I already had a lot of magic- magic is quantitative in this- so I create my own Clan, which, in the fashion of most modern Clans, had no set purpose, but consisted of those who feel that my ideals are similar enough to theirs that they could hope to do good by swearing themselves to my allegiance.
Back there I said that magic is quantitative, now let me elaborate on the nature of magic according to me. Everyone is born with a different amount of magic, as you grow it simply comes into existence. Magic cannot be used up; you simply tire from using it. Magic can be transferred from one being to another without any energy loss, which is why it has become the sort of ?currency? for the Sylians, they operate off a barter system but magic is almost invariably what someone is giving to get something.
There are different forms of magic to do different things, and they are powered by separate energies, not just one type of ?Mana? or something that works for all fields. The different types of magic are: Chemical, learning, life, alteration, illusion, and enchanting. I will now give a short synopsis of each, in order of value:
Chemical magic: The least valuable of the schools, chemical magic is only really suited to destroying, and is often called Destruction magic. Chemical magic manipulates particles are temperatures, it can speed up or slow down chemical reactions, which could be useful for a very wide range of things if it wasn?t so hard to control. When used in conjunction with advanced enchanting can be used for effects far beyond normal Chemical magic Precision is impossible with chemical magic. Masters of Chemical magic can even replicate the big bang to create matter and antimatter.
Illusion: The second least valuable type of magic, Illusionary magic changes perception and has limited control over some types of energy. Illusion is also useful for fighting pure magic beings, but there aren?t a whole lot of those on earth.
Enchanting: More valuable than Illusionary magic, less valuable than Alteration, Enchanting magic is directly in the middle of the scale. Enchanting grants new characteristics to a material, or strengthens ones already there. This is what I specialized in during the dream, making use of my vassals? power over my own, just providing them with equippable victory.
Alteration- The second most valuable form of magic, Alteration magic allows the user to temporarily rewrite the rules of the universe to suit their own ends. Useful for obvious reasons, no one doesn?t benefit from having this.
Learning magic: The most valuable type of magic by far; it is an automatic use magic that aids the user?s mental abilities in every way. It is useful in every endeavor. It is still dependent on the users original abilities, you get smarter by percentages.
Life magic- The only magic that cannot be traded, little is known about it except that people with large amounts of it have plants grow more quickly around them. Life magic is a major plot point later in the story.
Because we were rich, neither of us needed a trade, but we each found our own fields which we studied. David specialized mainly on the nature of magic but had a well rounded education over all; while I specialized fairly heavily in Sylian culture and Enchanting magic, which humans are better at for a reason we do not yet know. Our ignorance caused a few incidents, but between the two of us, we soon got the hang of Sylian life. He did me the favour of increasing my magic potential, and I told him the intricacies of Sylian court and enchanted items for him.
This partnership was destined to crumble however, I began to become uneasy around him and he began to retreat into solitude as his personality slowly darkened. He had once told me that he felt like the soul of the person he was ?breaking? touched his own when he performed it, and that it was like he could feel some of their filth rubbed onto his mind every time. But the feeling was addictive; he couldn?t stop, even as he watched himself fall deeper into madness.
The majority of my time spent in this new world was with my Clan, fighting for causes and training. One of my men was a member of the lower nobility, a bored individual who took a liking to me and offered his sword to the friend of the human God. He became my champion and friend, one of the main characters for the later part of the dream as the years go by.
A bunch of timeskips later, with only brief glimpses of the time in the middle(I?m thinking a montage would be awesome here?), I had become a legend. My clan was incredibly strong, we fought for causes that reflected my own unusual human morals, and I was considered the greatest enchanter of all time. So I was pretty famous. And rich. I was only second to David in sheer amount of magic, and with those resources, what I had made the purpose of my life; figuring out the characteristics of the mysterious Life magic was almost in my grasp.
 

meatloaf231

Old Man Glenn
Feb 13, 2008
2,248
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Well, even if this doesn't get seen, I suppose I can toss a couple of my drawings up.

Gifts for the viewing!


No idea what was going through my head when I drew this. I think it was math class.


It's a beast! A bog beast! I finished it, and only then realized that it looked frightened.
 

Iceman23

New member
Dec 20, 2007
168
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Dunno if it can compete with what I've been seeing here, but I've got a little something from a few years back that might give you a few laughs.

http://anticipatoryretaliation.mu.nu/poncho/ponchoman.pdf
 

meatloaf231

Old Man Glenn
Feb 13, 2008
2,248
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Iceman23 post=18.72588.773169 said:
Dunno if it can compete with what I've been seeing here, but I've got a little something from a few years back that might give you a few laughs.

http://anticipatoryretaliation.mu.nu/poncho/ponchoman.pdf
That was pretty much hilariously awesome.
 

Iceman23

New member
Dec 20, 2007
168
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meatloaf231 post=18.72588.773189 said:
Iceman23 post=18.72588.773169 said:
Dunno if it can compete with what I've been seeing here, but I've got a little something from a few years back that might give you a few laughs.

http://anticipatoryretaliation.mu.nu/poncho/ponchoman.pdf
That was pretty much hilariously awesome.
Shit! They like it! Gotta find something else funny...

This might work.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1771556
 

Labyrinth

Escapist Points: 9001
Oct 14, 2007
4,732
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There's posting room available on page one. To apply to have your ego strutting there, send me a message. The cost is one post of homage paying to my awesomeness.
 

ThaBenMan

Mandalorian Buddha
Mar 6, 2008
3,682
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Well, Larenxis, we don't know each other very well. But everybody here obviously adores you, so you must be cool. I hope you had fun wherever you were, and welcome back. ^__^
 

Spartan Bannana

New member
Apr 27, 2008
3,032
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Labyrinth post=18.72588.773220 said:
There's posting room available on page one. To apply to have your ego strutting there, send me a message. The cost is one post of homage paying to my awesomeness.
But paying homage to your awesomeness is so easy
/asskissing

I made it in just barely on page 1
 

Easykill

New member
Sep 13, 2007
1,737
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Isn't it kind of obvious what she meant was that this needed a lot of stuff on it, not a little?
 

Lord Krunk

New member
Mar 3, 2008
4,809
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Let's spice this up a little.

I DECLARE WAR... ON PURPLERAIN!

Dun Dun DUNNN!

Yes, I killed your Betty/Betsy/Sally, Purps, and I won't stop there...
 

PurpleRain

New member
Dec 2, 2007
5,001
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Lord Krunk post=18.72588.774281 said:
Let's spice this up a little.

I DECLARE WAR... ON PURPLERAIN!

Dun Dun DUNNN!

Yes, I killed your Betty/Betsy/Sally, Purps, and I won't stop there...
I said I will destroy you, and I will!

One day. One day you're going to come home to find out your family is dead and your finger prints are on the knife. One day you will be released from jail to find the public deems you a rapist and whatnot by some annonomous tips sent to them. One day... one day I'll get you. I just have to buy my time. That spider was my everything and you exploded it!

I WILL EAT YOU!
 

Lord Krunk

New member
Mar 3, 2008
4,809
0
0
PurpleRain post=18.72588.774288 said:
Lord Krunk post=18.72588.774281 said:
Let's spice this up a little.

I DECLARE WAR... ON PURPLERAIN!

Dun Dun DUNNN!

Yes, I killed your Betty/Betsy/Sally, Purps, and I won't stop there...
I said I will destroy you, and I will!

One day. One day you're going to come home to find out your family is dead and your finger prints are on the knife. One day you will be released from jail to find the public deems you a rapist and whatnot by some annonomous tips sent to them. One day... one day I'll get you. I just have to buy my time. That spider was my everything and you exploded it!

I WILL EAT YOU!
Just look at what happened to Shanks. You wouldn't dare mess with a Surrealonomist!
 

Johnn Johnston

New member
May 4, 2008
2,519
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Lord Krunk post=18.72588.774349 said:
PurpleRain post=18.72588.774288 said:
I said I will destroy you, and I will!

One day. One day you're going to come home to find out your family is dead and your finger prints are on the knife. One day you will be released from jail to find the public deems you a rapist and whatnot by some annonomous tips sent to them. One day... one day I'll get you. I just have to buy my time. That spider was my everything and you exploded it!

I WILL EAT YOU!
Just look at what happened to Shanks. You wouldn't dare mess with a Surrealonomist!
Don't even try to attack him. He'd send the Clock Tower Sandwich after you in a snap.
 

jim_doki

New member
Mar 29, 2008
1,942
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WE LET THIS SLIP ONTO THE SECOND PAGE AGAIN!!!!!

moar lirics! + a lolcat

HIGHSCHOOL IS OVER
Listen up you gutter punks Its time to tow the line
Hardcore straight edge mindgames aim and fire
Well not this time, no not this time

Listen up you jaded geeks its time to give it up
Take the world on by yourself you liar
Oh not this time, no not this time

Reminice with false fondness
And pretense to happiness
To see this through
Im not like you
Reminice with false fondness
And pretense to happiness
To see this through
Im not like you

Listen up you worthless waste its time to prove your self
Show me i was wrong and i?ll be fine
But not this time, no not this time

Reminice with false fondness
And pretense to happiness
To see this through
Im not like you

I've had it
I'm not it
and im over it

Reminice with false fondness
And pretense to happiness
To see this through
Im not like you

<img src=http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/bring-me-solo-and-the-wookiee-they-will-all-suffr-4-dis-outrage_r.jpg>
 

Larenxis

New member
Dec 13, 2007
1,648
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RAKtheUndead post=18.72588.774328 said:
I want to see Larenxis' responses! Anything to stop me from digging up my B-material.
Hm? I thought it was better if I didn't say anything, but if the people cry out for me, I shall respond "You guys are awesome, keep up the good work!"
 

PurpleRain

New member
Dec 2, 2007
5,001
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Larenxis post=18.72588.775946 said:
RAKtheUndead post=18.72588.774328 said:
I want to see Larenxis' responses! Anything to stop me from digging up my B-material.
Hm? I thought it was better if I didn't say anything, but if the people cry out for me, I shall respond "You guys are awesome, keep up the good work!"
Now she's lost her omnipotent god like figure.
 

Easykill

New member
Sep 13, 2007
1,737
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Ahh, what's the point if she doesn't say anything? Your turn to entertain US, Larenxis!