Spill your best pick-up lines!

[Mr Metzger]

lets say your right leg is Christmas and your left leg is Easter. Can i come down and spend some time between the holidays?

 

[Stone Wera]

"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you slap me and call me a pervert?"
"I heard there's candy in that unmarked van!"

 

[LogieBear]

Approach the girl and point away to your friend or any random person and say:
"My friend over there wants to know if you will go out with me"
It might take them a while to figure it out but it hasn't failed yet =P

 

[Stone Wera]

"Is heaven missing an angel because you've got nice cans."

Futurama. Good show, and they're bringing it back on Comedy Central!

 

[Da Joz]

Would you like to go back to my place? I make a damn good breakfast.

 

[Stone Wera]

My two favourite things are commitment and changing myself, works every time.

Does he have a brother?

Again, Futurama.

 

[Phlakes]

"There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I want to catch and mount back at my place."
"Does this smell like Chloroform to you?"
"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't I know you?"
"Nice shoes, let's fuck."
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'I' and 'Your sister' together."

I roflmao'd for about 10 minutes after reading those last two.

 

[Ironboot]

A very awesome frenchie once said "I have a dick made of chocolate which ejaculates money".

 

[Turbo_Destructor]

You: "Did it hurt?"
Her: "Did what hurt?"
You: "When you fell out of heaven."

Or if you want to go for something less gay:
"That shirt/Those jeans would look great on my bedroom floor"

And I've always wanted to see someone try this one out:
"I think about you when I masturbate"

 

[Capt. Crankypants]

"My friend over there wants to know if you will go out with me"

Like it, like it... I might use it when I move interstate and am single again

 

[Turbo_Destructor]

TITS OR GTFO

 

[ENKC]

"You look so good you should be enbalmed!"

And I have a bunch of accounting specific ones I would never actually use but which amuse me anyway. Per exemplar:

"Of course accountants are boring people. I could be boring you later tonight."

 

[Uber Evil]

*hold out empty hand"
Excuse me, could you hold this while I take a walk?

"Your eyes are like wrenches... every time I look into them, my nuts tighten."

Is your Avi from Iron Giant by any chance?

 

[papaqueso]

Did you get those pants on sale... because at my house they are 100% off!

 

[scar-x-]

"I'm Moses and I'm gonna part your legs like the Red Sea."

Think about it for a second...
Yea. Fucked up.
And yet, so awesome.

 

[shaboinkin]

"Ay girl, what you taste like?"

"Damn girl you got a nice pair of legs!...What time they open?"


There was one my friend told me about that just boggled my mind cause I really don't see how this works.
"Hey *****!"
"Who are you talking to?"
"Hey, let me bite your tongue...bet you'll like it"
The guy proceeds to get the girls number

 

[Jnat]

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
It's me, wondering why you're not naked.
Works every time.

 

[Reenix]

Excuse me Madam, but would you fancy a promenade to my abode for some sexual intercourse?

Steal'd.

"Would you happen to know the way to Manchester?" in a silly London accent (If you're actually within distance of Manchester, use someplace else, like New Dehli) If the person answers in an equally silly London accent, you've got yourself a likeminded individual, if not, she/he isn't worth picking up anyways.

Who'd want to go to Manchester? :S
Bristol, maybe...moi luvver.

 

[lee1287]

My two favourite things are commitment and changing myself, works every time.

Does he have a brother?

Again, Futurama.

Yeah, Zapp gets all the chicks aswell.

"Can't you ask a little more, sexfully? "