Stolen Pixels #41: Pick a Perk

[Valiance]

you know... it COULD be people dont WANT to play a spreadsheet. i know, thats crazy-talk, everyone knows spreadsheets are great fun. thats why excel is the best-selling pc game ever... but stick with me for a minute here... see, lots of people, they play those awesome spreadsheet games all day long (and get paid for it! amazing, isnt it?) so sometimes when they get home, maybe they want to give the spreadsheet a rest... maybe they just want to have some idle fun.

now, i know, these people are total retards. theres not even a need for an IQ test. since they dont want what you want, and since you are obviously a genius, then it follows that they are clearly retarded, or at the very least got dropped on their head as a child.

but, retard or not, at least now they have something to play. before, when theyre were only spreadsheets to play, these retards mostly ignored the mathalicious awesomeness of those games, in favor of keeping their money in their pockets. then one day, a bunch of retards made a game FOR retards, you know, a spreadsheet-lite. and holy shit, it sold a fuckton! who knew there were so many retards out there waiting to give up their cash?? i mean, everyone knows the hardcore spreadsheeters are the only gamers that matter, right?

but dont worry, hardcore! im sure just ANY day now, developers are going to wake up and realize they dont care about all those retards that outnumber the smart people 4 to 1, and they CERTAINLY dont care for all that retard money, and theyll go back to making those delicious spreadsheets for you. shout it with me, fuck those retards! fuck their money!

God, this post is hilarious.

I really would like to mention that when the original games were made, the concept of "lifestyle/family" gamers or even "testosterone" gamers was pretty much unheard of. Nowadays, they understand that people who might not necessarily go buy Fallout 3 maybe -would- buy it after their "hardcore" friend told them it was awesome.

So they make it complex enough to appeal to most, and simple enough to be enjoyable by most, and then you have an AAA title that sold more than the previous Fallout games combined (lol today's market), and then you get a game of the year award.

But yeah, I do agree that not everything should be dumbed down, and there should be different levels of play, honestly, and complexity != good design, and extensiveness != good design, but sometimes these aspects can create a more fulfilling experience for a player.

 

[TetsuoKaneda]

I don't understand the "I picked bad stats at the beggining" thing. What did you guys do to actually fuck everything up from the start? There's pretty much a way to get through Fallout 1 2 AND 3 no matter what your stats are.

- Pick Finesse at the start of F1.
- Put no points into the melee and unarmed skills at the start of F2.
- Mismanage your ammo in F2 (Wannamingo Mines eventually bites you in the ass)
- Go with "Skilled" and then min-max your stats (stats get too imbalanced, and then you're left with four levels you have to gain before you perk-up and get a decent stat level*)
- Use "Int" or "Cha" as dump stats.
- Use "Con" as a dump stat.
- Not having an Endurance of 7/CHA of 6 when you get to Golden Globes studios in F2. (Nonessential, but fun!)
- essentially do anything that would make normal people go "My god, you haven't the brains God gave a defective dessert spoon!" (See also: radio_babylon's Amazing Schizophasia Attack!(tm), anyone who mentioned perverting the facts and compared this to Zero Punctuation)

 

[Orzene]

Ron Perlman: Yes..

Flamewar: Sad but true...

 

[gafgarion97]

If you can junction materia in FFVIII, then...

I'm amazed no-one's picked you up on this HUGE clanger! Junctioning materia is soooooo FFVII; FFVIII was junctioning GFs...

lol My first thought too.

But yes, Shamus, I agree with everything you say. Every comic to this point voices my very opinions on the subject matter. You are awesome and know your stuff.

 

[Eponet]

I believe he was referring to the mechanics of the Final Fantasy games, and not their story. I inferred this from the fact that he referenced junctioning materia, and not figuring out whether Squall was secretly an imaginary water rugby player sent back in time to save the world from a vicious cycle of death and rebirth centered around crystals.

Squall was an imaginary water rugby player?

 

[Fishmeistercod]

I'm surprised nobody spotted this.

Materia is in Final Fantasy VII.
You junction Magic Spells that you draw from your enemies in Final Fantasy VIII.

Just sayin'.

 

[ProGrasTiNation]

Dude you read my mind,,ff13 was watered down so 360 users could play it