Strange Offenses

[wewontdie11]

When I was on my way home from playing football (soccer if you don't like naming sports properly) on the bus, and I had pretty badly twisted my ankle, I could barely make it to the bus stop to get on it was that damn painful to put weight on. While on said public transport it was pretty busy and the seats filled up quickly, and some old woman apparently took very great offence to the fact that she needed to stand, and took it upon herself to have a go at me because I didn't give her my seat! Even after explaining about my ankle, she proceeded to turn her nose up and go on about "the youth of today" and how we all lack respect blah blah blah...

I really don't mind giving other people my seat normally but when old people in particular expect stuff like that it gets right on my nerves.

In retrospect I also probably shouldn't have called her a coffin dodger after that (but she deserved it) and made a point out of the fact I actually had to pay an arm and a leg to get on the bus whereas she can waltz on for free then demand things off people that she has no right to.

 

[Duck Sandwich]

It started off as him simply getting weirded out, like many do, at how I'm unlike most other people on the internet. Now he's escalated it to "you sound like a pompous prick" and "your way of typing sucks". For some reason, he's actually getting more and more angry at the fact that I'm saying that I really don't give a rat's ass about who types like what way.

Actually, he's not really getting offended, but he is getting on my nerves. Who cares about the way you or anyone else talks on the internet? Why is his way so much better? This is the only difference between our two ways of talking:
Me: "I have a gun. Bang bang!"
Him: "i have a gun bang bang"

Yeah. His way shows so much more intelligence and emotion than mine does.

You could always take the smartass approach and type like a 1st grader trying to sound "1337," in order to make a point.

"lolololz I ha3vz gatzbnag bnag"

You could even throw in the following quote somewhere:

"See that, that's you. That's how dumb you sound." - Glados

Even after explaining about my ankle, she proceeded to turn her nose up and go on about "the youth of today" and how we all lack respect blah blah blah...

Heh. The "youth of today." That's just priceless.

The "elderly of today" need to learn that a person should be judged by how they act, not how many years have elapsed since their birth.