Stress/Depression, why do I feel like this?

[Lem0nade Inlay]

Hey all,
I've been feeling a bit stressed lately, I have exams coming up and some other stuff has also been bugging me.

So my mind has been basically all over the place at the moment, I'm currently trying to focus studying on my hardest two subjects (Latin and Maths) but to no real avail. So I've been sort of stressed out and anxious about this, also feeling quite depressed. The thing is though, I don't know why. My life is, from an outsiders point of view, pretty good.

+ I go to a great, expensive school, where I am above average in intelligence (please note: I'm not trying to say "IM SO SMART!!!" all I mean is that I do quite well on most of my tests, and I find most subjects fairly easy).
+ I have fantastic parents who love for me, and support me. (Who I'm still living with, btw, I'm in my mid-teens)
+ I have a large group of friends.
+ I don't get bullied at all.
+ My family is in no trouble with finance.

There is really nothing bad in my life. That is why I am so curious as to why I am feeling stressed and depressed. I mean some nights I lie in bed worrying about stupid things. The next morning I think "Wow, that was a stupid thought, as if that would ever happen!" yet that night I feel anxious again. A lot of the time I feel extremely sad, and even think of suicide. The thing is though, I would never, ever kill myself, and therefore I hate myself for even thinking of killing myself, it that makes sense. I feel as if I am messed up, and that I shouldn't be thinking these things, maybe I should talk to the school psychiatrist.

I play sports outside of school twice a week, and I catch up with friends outside of school maybe once every two weeks. I also play (study?) piano, so I have lessons once a week and I practice fairly constantly. I play a lot of video games, but when I play it's almost always with at least one of my friends (who is online). I haven't told anyone of these feelings.

So I'm just wondering, is this just a regular teenage thing? Or is this unusual? I'm asking because I assume that most of you here are in your late teens/20's so you've all gone through teenage years.
Do you have any advice for dealing with stress or depression? All advice is appreciated.

And just to let you know, this isn't a cry for sympathy. I was just wondering if this is usual for teenagers, and if any of you have advice. I don't really know anywhere else anonymous to go.
Thanks.

Also:
I should mention that I rarely feel this way during the week, it's only really on the weekends, most often Sunday, usually at night, I really never feel this way during the day.

 

[smithy_2045]

See a psychiatrist before it gets worse.

 

[Cowabungaa]

While I do recognise those feelings, my situation is pretty crappy in comparison to yours. Or to put it differently, it seems to make sense why I feel this way.

I'm absolutely puzzled why you would feel that way though. Maybe you've raised the bar for yourself really high, and are now afraid of not meeting that standard? Something that, because of you finding most subjects pretty easy, haven't felt before; the prospect of failure.

If that's not the case then I'm really stumped, and I recommend talking to the school psychiatrist.

 

[GiantSpiderGoat]

It's exam stress everyone gets it.

Trust me it gets so severe with someone people they commit suicide.

 

[SG Xibalba]

OP, I agree with GiantSpiderGoat - sounds to me like you are placing way too much pressure on yourself. Take a step back, breathe, give your best.

You are not going to be able to give your best, much less get the best from yourself if you have this amount of stress on your shoulders.

Be sure to take time to 'appreciate the flowers' as the saying goes and don't sweat the small stuff.

Trust me, this comes from someone who knows.

 

[Lem0nade Inlay]

As a 16 year old who has a similar life as you do, yeah it does happen. Stress is usually a result of the hassles of everyday lives, and most high schoolers face stress from large amounts of work and studies. Too much of this and you'll go into burnout: a state of physical and mental exhaustion, which can lead to depression.

My advice:
-Prioritize your time, know when you have to work and when you can play. If you got a large workload, organizing your time is important if you want minimal stress.
-Be optimistic. Studies show that being optimistic helps reduce the production of stress hormones significantly. Looking at life more positively will be less detrimental than looking at life in a pessimistic way.
-Consider your subjects that you're studying not as obstacles, but challenges that are possible to overcome and can enhance your skills at the same time.

And if you're wondering how I know all this, I'm taking a course in Psychology at High School, and my mom also studied psychology. I'm facing quite an amount of work in High School, so I'm pretty much in a position similar to yours.
Just remember that this too shall pass.

Thanks man, that's really helpful, I really it. But what do you mean by prioritizing my time though? Like have a set time during the weekdays that will be for homework?

 

[philosophicalbastard]

Snip

This could be from a lack of purpouse in your life, or maybe you're just really bored. The best remedy for this is to come up with a singular far off goal in your life to dedicate your self to. Or you could go do something really dangerous, like sky-diving or something.

 

[default]

Can I just give you something to think about? Even if you don't really want it now, at least think about it.

Find love. It's a wonderful, beautiful and infinitely depthful well of happiness. You don't have to be in a relationship. Find someone you really care about who feels the same about you, and spend time with them. It soothes and heals any pain of the heart, trust me.

It is completely normal, buddy. We teenagers have such a whirlwind of chemicals flying through our systems it's a wonder we don't all go mad.

Find something that makes you deeply, spiritually happy. For me, it's painting, writing poetry, and spending time in the outdoors or with a special girl. What could it be for you? You have to find it yourself, but when you do the rewards and amount of peace you can feel are staggering.

I hope it all works out for you, buddy!

 

[ottenni]

You have exams coming up, id be more worried if you weren't stressed. Hell i remember when i did VCE, the year level nearly tore itself apart towards the end everyone was so stressed (me excluded, but i did no work so dont think thats a good thing).

 

[IBlackKiteI]

I know this sounds really cliche, but its just something we all go through.

I have been/am going through this sort of thing right now, sometimes you sort of feel messed up for no apparent reason.

Just do the best you can with what you can do the best with, and It'll pass.

 

[Lem0nade Inlay]

-snip-

Thanks man. The only thing is, I am unfortunately one of those people who is socially inept around girls. I mean around my friends (I go to an all boys school) I'm loud and sociable, but around girls? I just can't think of what to talk about, honestly. But so far I've had 3 girls say they loved me (that "teenage" sort of "I love you!") but I've managed to screw it up with all three.

I mean I don't really care if I have a girlfriend or not at the moment, but I understand what you mean, if I found someone I truly cared about it would make me deeply happy.

 

[default]

-snip-

Thanks man. The only thing is, I am unfortunately one of those people who is socially inept around girls. I mean around my friends (I go to an all boys school) I'm loud and sociable, but around girls? I just can't think of what to talk about, honestly. But so far I've had 3 girls say they loved me (that "teenage" sort of "I love you!") but I've managed to screw it up with all three.

I mean I don't really care if I have a girlfriend or not at the moment, but I understand what you mean, if I found someone I truly cared about it would make me deeply happy.

Just keep looking around, mate. It'll come!

Did you think about my second suggestion at all? Can you think of anything that might be like that for you?

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

So I'm just wondering, is this just a regular teenage thing?

Yes.
Don't worry about it. The more you focus on it, the worse it will get.
And the last thing you want to be is one of those idiots who wallows in their angst.

Soldier on through it. When it becomes difficult to handle, vent. Just mind you don't get too used to venting every little problem you have.

Now, if you genuinely start feeling like you want to kill yourself, then you get help.
Just thinking about it, I have noticed, is something a lot of teens do today. It is pretty dramatic, after all. And if there is one thing hormonal minds love, it is drama.

 

[Lem0nade Inlay]

-snip-

Thanks man. The only thing is, I am unfortunately one of those people who is socially inept around girls. I mean around my friends (I go to an all boys school) I'm loud and sociable, but around girls? I just can't think of what to talk about, honestly. But so far I've had 3 girls say they loved me (that "teenage" sort of "I love you!") but I've managed to screw it up with all three.

I mean I don't really care if I have a girlfriend or not at the moment, but I understand what you mean, if I found someone I truly cared about it would make me deeply happy.

Just keep looking around, mate. It'll come!

Did you think about my second suggestion at all? Can you think of anything that might be like that for you?

Well I mean, as I said I play piano. When I play a song I really love I do feel happy, but I don't really feel spiritually happy. I mean I'll keep having piano lessons as long as I can, I really enjoy it. But at the moment in my life I can't really think of anything that makes me truly, spiritually happy. But I'm sure it will come

 

[Fanta Grape]

"Stop being depressed you God damn moron. Your life is fine. Bloody ingrate," is what I keep telling myself.

Hormones, I suppose.

But see a shrink, just in case. You can never be too careful

 

[Glamorgan]

So I'm just wondering, is this just a regular teenage thing?

Don't worry about it. The more you focus on it, the worse it will get.
And the last thing you want to be is one of those idiots who wallows in their angst.

Soldier on through it. When it becomes difficult to handle, vent. Just mind you don't get too used to venting every little problem you have.

I disagree.

Okay, to be fair, this all is probably from hormones. Don't get angry, I know everyone says that, but there is a high chance it is true. But I have to disagree with what Monkfish said. If you avoid this problem, it will get worse. Trust me from experience.

His other point is true. Find someone you can talk to about this. If you can't find someone, I would be more than glad to help. As long as this person doesn't mind you venting every problem though, there is no problem, but be careful not to go overboard if they do mind.

-snip-

Thanks man. The only thing is, I am unfortunately one of those people who is socially inept around girls. I mean around my friends (I go to an all boys school) I'm loud and sociable, but around girls? I just can't think of what to talk about, honestly. But so far I've had 3 girls say they loved me (that "teenage" sort of "I love you!") but I've managed to screw it up with all three.

I mean I don't really care if I have a girlfriend or not at the moment, but I understand what you mean, if I found someone I truly cared about it would make me deeply happy.

Just keep looking around, mate. It'll come!

Did you think about my second suggestion at all? Can you think of anything that might be like that for you?

Well I mean, as I said I play piano. When I play a song I really love I do feel happy, but I don't really feel spiritually happy. I mean I'll keep having piano lessons as long as I can, I really enjoy it. But at the moment in my life I can't really think of anything that makes me truly, spiritually happy. But I'm sure it will come

It will. Don't give up.

 

[Yan Hunt]

Stress and depression aren't wrong or a symptom of something. They're just a part of life and they WILL pass. Sometimes everything does seem too much and no matter what your situation be it relatively good or incredidibly shitty, life will go on. In fact you'll no doubt watch the news and see people endure terrible suffering and horror, and say to yourself how can i feel bad when this is out there? Yes, exams are stressful, but then so pretty much everything these days. No, i'm not trying to belittle your problems, more kind of say that they're not just your problems but things we all share and have gone through.

So what am i saying then? Suck it up? Walk it off?

kind of. Maybe. Just hang in there. These feelings will pass, and be replaced with new joys, happiness, and indeed things to worry about and fear. That's just life.

Do you really want to meet the ghastly stepford wife who has no stress, who smiles all the time living in perpetual bliss? No, what would you have to say to them or them to you? we live, we love,it hurts - and we move on. If you're really worried for your mental health then please seek help, if you ever feel it is so bad that you can't endure it or want to hurt yourself. Phone a friend, talk to someone - anyone. confide in a stranger, ask for help, don't just let your own thoughts and confusions overwhelm you. These dark moments are just that moments. we all have them, and they do pass. i doubt they'll make you stronger or smarter, or anything like that, but they do change and cease to have any hold on us.

If you need to, take some time out. Go down to a river and watch the water flow, the wind in the trees. revel in the complexity and beauty around you, and realise what an amazing precsious thing reality and consciousness are.

Any problem can seem insurmountable and all-consuming, to the point where you can't see any way past it or around it. usually that's because you're too close to them to see anything else. step back a bit and you'll see it for waht they are, just small speed bumps on your journey.

exams can be re-taken, or indeed failed. the world won't end, and neither will your life because of that. plans are just things written in the sand, easy to change or rewrite.

i'm not a teenager, my exam days are long gone and i don't envy you having to go through them. but there is a whole lot more fun to come, just hang in there and you'll see.

 

[thenumberthirteen]

It's the stress of the exams. When I did my University dissertation I was an emotional wreck as I was so worried about how I'd do and how it would affect the future. I too had dark thoughts at times and it came to a head in the last few days of my exams where I was awful.

My advice is this: It I normal. Just because you see yourself as in a good situation doesn't mean you can't get worried or shouldn't feel sad. Ice cream tasters can have bad days at work just the same as anyone else. Once the exams are over you'll feel better. You will look back in a year or so and think "Why was I so worried about that?"

Don't feel guilty for your emotions, just hang in there, and You will feel better soon. When things got really bad for me (the day before my final disertation was due) I stopped working and watched my favourite TV show. It really helped. Really, really helped.

Another thing is that before my final exam I was so worried and I'd been up all night studying. In the morning rather than study some more I read some online news. I just so happened that one of the articles I read was very relevant to one of the questions that came up on the exam

 

[Lem0nade Inlay]

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Thanks, both of you. Those are really great points, thank you so much for your advice, it will be a huge help

 

[new_guy]

Okay this is very important i registered just for this thread

If you have depression (intelligent people have much higher rates of mental illness) you cannot fix it with love or relaxing as some people have posted.

Depression is very very manageable and can usually done without drugs or modification of you lifestyle (especially diet) and pick good music, avoid cigarettes.

Considering how positively you portay your life and your still in high school is kinda a bad sign

I can't remember were i read this but in excess of 99% of people who have suicidal ideation have depression.

stress is a major catalyst and your issue may be anxiety as well (they generally come together) but most often stress will be environmental (school)

importantly depression will subtley alter your perceptions and your thought processes over time And degrade your thinking until something like suicide feels like a logical decision.

What you need to do preferably both but at least one and these options are insurance you will hopefully be fine for the rest of your life but depression is impossible to fight alone

1) let your parents know that you feel down sometimes in an unatural way and you can't control it, this is really really hard but its good to know so they can check up on you occassionally (A friend is deffinetly not a substitute for your parents)

2)find a therapist (or a general practioner or virtually any health professional), a psychiatrist is not neccessary at all! often there are free clinics or support services. they can properly identify if you do have an issue. many therapist could give you an emergency number to call them if things do get out of hand (as a substitute there are phone hotlines for kids/depression that will not show up on a phone bill)

I really don't want to sound alarmist about this but it can be very serious

What ever you do, do not listen to some of these people that say it will pass it is utter rubbish if you are not a candiadate for depression then yay for you but do not do nothing, do not assume this will pass because as a significant percentage of the population do suffer from depression

(another interesting statistic is that females are 3 to 4 times more likely to suffer from depression however men die something like 70%-90% more often from suicides because they don't seek help)

tips
prioritize whatever you do (school or other) so you don't burn out
dont look for a relationship and expect yourself to become happier (i cannot stress how important relationships are)