Stress/Depression, why do I feel like this?

[Da_Vane]

According to Maslow, we all have a Heirachy of needs, ranging from low physical needs, ranging up through psycho-social needs, to a pinnacle need to better ourselves that can never be fully achieved, which is known as Self-Actualisation.

Often, when people have a lot going well for them in life, they get too comfortable, because they simply do not feel challenged or get satisfaction from what they are doing, and therefore do not feel that they are improving. It's as if they look around and say to themselves "I've done such and such, so what's left for me to do?"

Self-actualisation is what drives us to improve ourselves and others, and to make the world a better place for everyone. It drives us to seek out new challenges, try new things, and discover new breakthrough that may never have been discovered before. It can lead to new trends in thought and thinking that can result in mass-epiphanies as a new ideas shoots through media and academic circles, bringing enlightenment and enrichment to the masses.

Take a moment to reflect on what you've got and enjoy it. If it isn't fulfilling, try to find something else that is. Only by trying new things will you be able to discover what satisfies and what doesn't, and be able to be happy and stress-free. Most of all, remember that life is for living. If you are worrying about it, you are missing out on it.

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

So I'm just wondering, is this just a regular teenage thing?

Don't worry about it. The more you focus on it, the worse it will get.
And the last thing you want to be is one of those idiots who wallows in their angst.

Soldier on through it. When it becomes difficult to handle, vent. Just mind you don't get too used to venting every little problem you have.

I disagree.

Okay, to be fair, this all is probably from hormones. Don't get angry, I know everyone says that, but there is a high chance it is true. But I have to disagree with what Monkfish said. If you avoid this problem, it will get worse. Trust me from experience.

His other point is true. Find someone you can talk to about this. If you can't find someone, I would be more than glad to help. As long as this person doesn't mind you venting every problem though, there is no problem, but be careful not to go overboard if they do mind.

Ah, well, I don't really have any experience with this, aside from outside perspective. I skipped that phase entirely. So you would know better.

I feel I should clear up that I didn't mean "ignore it entirely", however. I mostly meant "don't make a big deal out of it".
In the case of most negative emotions, focusing on them prolongs them. If you keep thinking "golly, I'm so sad", you're going to keep feeling sad.
You kind of have to get the balance of focus just so. You can't avoid them, but you can't allow yourself to get swept up in them.
It's difficult, and I don't think many people really get it perfectly. But you can do it well enough to be functional, if you try hard enough.

 

[Fraught]

So I'm just wondering, is this just a regular teenage thing? Or is this unusual? I'm asking because I assume that most of you here are in your late teens/20's so you've all gone through teenage years.
Do you have any advice for dealing with stress or depression? All advice is appreciated.

I'm a teenager myself (15, currently, will be 16 on the 2nd of November) and even if it is a 'regular teenage thing', it shouldn't. Reading through your post, I couldn't stop thinking to myself "Man, what a whiny *****". I'm hoping you won't be offended by this, but seriously. Even though I've faced a lot of hardships in my life, gone through events that would be 'traumatic' to many, I don't know. Even though I am sad about some things sometime, I'm actually a rather cheery and optimistic person, and when I feel down about something, I consciously tell myself to stop worrying about it and/or do something that distracts me from it, like most forms of escapism, or - like you mentioned - when in bed at night, think of something something happy, something that makes me gay (hurr hurr, makes me gay).

Even though I don't like my current situation and place in life, I have much to look forward to, and much to alleviate any ill feelings I harbour towards the people currently in my life who I have to deal with daily, so I always try to think of anything that happens as a passing thing. It'll all be over, and when bonds between me and someone else is broken, I try not to be too sad about it.

And fuck, suicide this, suicide that. What is it with you young'uns and suicide these days?

Also, I'm hoping that when someone tells you that "this is just a regular teenage thing", in response to the question you set forth, you won't try to think of it as something "normal". You should never aspire to what others tell you, you should aspire to what you yourself feel is the highest peak you can reach, or at least a state you feel is 'normal' to you. Don't try to just leave it because it's something considered "usual".

tl;dr - Get over it, you nonce.

 

[Danny Ocean]

There is really nothing bad in my life. That is why I am so curious as to why I am feeling stressed and depressed.

1. You have it good, so you're worried about losing it.

2. Exams are stressful.

3. You're hormonal.

4. These things are relative. Something that stresses you out won't necessarily stress others out.

5. Buy and read this: Amazon UK. [http://www.amazon.co.uk/Age-Absurdity-Modern-Makes-Happy/dp/1847375243]

6. Exercise more. You'll be too knackered from that and studying (If you are really studying- be honest to yourself) to get worked up over anything.

7. Addictions are an easy way out. Don't you dare commit suicide.

8. Of course you'll be crap in relationships at your age. Don't worry. It's not all you. It's just that most girls around 13-16 are superficial, gossipy, and emotionally pretentious. That coming from someone who's friends with a fair few.

Take solace in the fact you're doing better than me. I'm every girls best friend- I've never even had a girlfriend! =P

9. Do This Test [http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp] and see what it says about you. Cheered me right up and gave me an idea of how to handle myself.

 

[garjian]

i used to be like this, and i think it was down to puberty in general... i wasnt popular at school, but i had a good group of friends, and all the other stuff you mentioned...

but my problem has escalated, over the 4-5-6 years between then and now, into several quite serious complexes about leadership, control over other people and mostly my height, even though im not short... though ive also had ones over strength, but ive fixed that, and the rather obligatory penis complex, which i also managed to fix.

i would recommend you do not see a therapist, as they have never helped me in the past, during school when i first saw one, and the 2 times after that... and ive been going to CBT sessions for 4 months now, and no changes yet.

and basically, if im able to think straight for an hour or so, that is without gaming, or music, or good tv to distract me... i get depressed and eventually suicidal... or if anything that triggers one of those things off happens, i get depressed and eventually suicidal...

and thats why im a gamer. i dont run the risk of there being people taller than me, and i have constant distractions. so id say its affected my life rather a lot really...

but yeah... that.

 

[EeveeElectro]

I know how you feel, although I get really bad bouts of random depression and I've been stressed trying to look for work.
Actually, I'd rather be back doing exams than having to look for work, pay the bills and buy my own food. Just wait until you're in this situation ;__;
Do you become depressed when you have noting to do? Because most of the time, if I distract myself, I don't feel too bad.
Really though, don't get too stressed about exams, it's not the end of the world if you don't get all A*s. My friend got into Uni on C, D, and E grades.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Well from the looks of it your life is ok, and you seem content, but this is not the formula for happiness, sooner or later it all seems mundane and boring.
What you need is something new, some activity that will spark a new interest and give you a little extra dopamin fix.
Or just go for the ultimate solution, regular sex, or as others like to call it "love", no drug or activity is on par with it.

 

[SimuLord]

Sometimes depression just happens. It's why you hear stories about people who kill themselves and everyone they knew is like "he's the last person I thought would've done it." They don't get help because they're like "I have no reason to be depressed, WHY AM I DEPRESSED?"

Getting help doesn't make you weak or whiny. Especially if you're demonstrably grateful for what you have!

Good luck. And feel better. Faint comfort from some random asshat on the Internet, I know, but trust me---you're not the only one to feel this way sometimes in life.

 

[NobodyPro]

Hang in there mate. Just remember that after exams you can relax, not many people truly have that luxury. Take this from someone who's male friends think he's gay, despite the comments to the contrary from their girlfriends and the friends who are actually gay.

 

[smithy_2045]

At the very least, see a doctor about it.

Professional advice is going to be better than anything you get on the internet.

 

[Funkysandwich]

I should mention that I rarely feel this way during the week, it's only really on the weekends, most often Sunday, usually at night, I really never feel this way during the day.

I can't be bothered digging out my copy of Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but Douglas Adams described the exact same thing in one of the books. I believe he referred to it as "The Long, Dark Teatime of the Soul" (not to be confused with the book of the same name). Basically, it had to do with not having anything to occupy oneself with on a Sunday evening, and dreading the inevitable approach of Monday.

 

[Et3rnalLegend64]

Hey all,

Also:
I should mention that I rarely feel this way during the week, it's only really on the weekends, most often Sunday, usually at night, I really never feel this way during the day.

This is probably your answer. I was gonna say get some physical activity in, but you said you played sports. You have time to stew over things when you have nothing to do. Keep yourself distracted is all I can say. Worked for me.

 

[Captain Pancake]

Exam stress. I got them back in 2009 when I did my standard grades, and again this year when I did my Highers. Don't worry, it's perfectly normal, and I felt like it was more than just that causing my stress/depression, but in retrospect the only cause was the pressure of exams. As soon as they're over you should feel right as rain.

 

[CouchCommando]

Ok here's the cliche, speak to a professional.
I did after battling depression for years and subconsciously with drawing into my work and studies until it seemed to occupy my entire life. After actually speaking to a mental health professional I am still kicking myself that I hadn't done it years ago. You will be surprised just how much you can accomplish by speaking to a trained professional.

 

[Liberaliter]

Attention probably.

 

[smithy_2045]

Seek professional advice.


Seriously.



If you're thinking about suicide, even if you think you'd never ever kill yourself, you should talk to a doctor/psychiatrist/qualified professional. It's not worth the risk.

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

You have nothing to worry about, feeling those things means your human. Oh and its a teenager thing.

 

[Aur0ra145]

Time for the "John Wayne School for Boys," yes I'm telling you to break your weekly cycle and do something completely different.

My suggestion is to travel quite a bit away from where ever home is, and camp in rather extreme conditions (but ones that won't kill you.) If you can hunt/fish to obtain your food it's even better.

 

[Continuity]

pop some zinc and try to relax.

 

[Jacob.pederson]

Hey all,
I've been feeling a bit stressed lately, I have exams coming up and some other stuff has also been bugging me.

So my mind has been basically all over the place at the moment, I'm currently trying to focus studying on my hardest two subjects (Latin and Maths) but to no real avail. So I've been sort of stressed out and anxious about this, also feeling quite depressed. The thing is though, I don't know why. My life is, from an outsiders point of view, pretty good.

+ I go to a great, expensive school, where I am above average in intelligence (please note: I'm not trying to say "IM SO SMART!!!" all I mean is that I do quite well on most of my tests, and I find most subjects fairly easy).
+ I have fantastic parents who love for me, and support me. (Who I'm still living with, btw, I'm in my mid-teens)
+ I have a large group of friends.
+ I don't get bullied at all.
+ My family is in no trouble with finance.

There is really nothing bad in my life. That is why I am so curious as to why I am feeling stressed and depressed. I mean some nights I lie in bed worrying about stupid things. The next morning I think "Wow, that was a stupid thought, as if that would ever happen!" yet that night I feel anxious again. A lot of the time I feel extremely sad, and even think of suicide. The thing is though, I would never, ever kill myself, and therefore I hate myself for even thinking of killing myself, it that makes sense. I feel as if I am messed up, and that I shouldn't be thinking these things, maybe I should talk to the school psychiatrist.

I play sports outside of school twice a week, and I catch up with friends outside of school maybe once every two weeks. I also play (study?) piano, so I have lessons once a week and I practice fairly constantly. I play a lot of video games, but when I play it's almost always with at least one of my friends (who is online). I haven't told anyone of these feelings.

So I'm just wondering, is this just a regular teenage thing? Or is this unusual? I'm asking because I assume that most of you here are in your late teens/20's so you've all gone through teenage years.
Do you have any advice for dealing with stress or depression? All advice is appreciated.

And just to let you know, this isn't a cry for sympathy. I was just wondering if this is usual for teenagers, and if any of you have advice. I don't really know anywhere else anonymous to go.
Thanks.

Also:
I should mention that I rarely feel this way during the week, it's only really on the weekends, most often Sunday, usually at night, I really never feel this way during the day.

My first recommendation is a couple of books. First, Ishmael, by Daniel Quinn, http://www.amazon.com/Ishmael-Adventure-Spirit-Daniel-Quinn/dp/0553375407, best 20$ you'll ever spend. His conclusions are a little off by the standards of modern science, but his reasoning is dead on. Humans are depressed because we weren't made for the environments we now occupy. Our species spent millions of years specializing to become hunter-gatherers. When civilization happened, we didn't fit anymore. Once you come to this conclusion, world-wide depression makes a lot more sense.

The second book is, The Depression Cure, by Stephen S. Ilardi PhD. This is a much more practical guide to getting out of depression, breaking it down into diet, lifestyle, and chemistry. http://www.amazon.com/Depression-Cure-6-Step-Program-without/dp/0738213888/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1287848845&sr=1-1 It basically looks at the differences between modern society and the hunter gatherer, and tries to mend as many as it can.

My third recommendation is a little more relevant to The Escapist. And I'm being completely serious here, as a 32 year old who has suffered from depression hardcore since I was your age and before . . . Two words. Rock Band. I've played about 20+ years worth of games, and Rock Band is the one out of them all that leaves me with consistently raised spirits after playing it.