Stuff you thought when you were a Kid

[mrhappy1489]

It's not really something I believed, but whenever I heard something about either death or something that scared me (which was a fucking lot) I would be scared for months. Heard you could get a heart attack from eating to much food in grade two, basically stopped eating food for about four months. Heard a nerf thingy being thrown at a sporting event, someone jokingly said it was the Borg, hand to sleep with my rooms light on for about two months, then progressed to having the kitchen doors light blaring through. At one point I was legitimately scared of Shrek!

 

[Arakasi]

I thought that everyone was a robot except for me.

Well, I was half right.

 

[him over there]

So far the only thing I can think was that

Double D from Edd, Ed and Eddy was a girl.

That would sound both dirty and obvious to someone who didn't know about the show.

 

[Dwarfare]

When I was a very young kid, I believe that since you could only be born your birthday, logic of the universe would have it that you could only die on your birthday as well. I would get really nervous at my grandfather's birthday parties...

 

[Arrogancy]

I used to think that every time I stuck my hand under something (bed, dresser, tv stand, etc.) that the universe would break it at the legs and it would either crush me or my arm. I'm still afraid of reaching under anything.

 

[johnboy424]

I used to think that "state" was synonymous with "country" and that all countries, like China, England, France, and Italy were part of The United States of America which made up the entire world.

I can't really remember having any weird beliefs other than that, but I have a friend who thought that the reason people went to sleep at night was so that the government could put dew on the grass.

 

[SadakoMoose]

I had no idea that boobs included nipples, until I found hentai that is...
I also kind of assumed that once you were an adult, you wouldn't get to play exciting or physically active games. Instead, you'd play board games or bocce ball or horse shoes, rather than run around, climb on things, and jump.
Later, I found this to be false:

 

[Caine Master]

I used to believe that a ghost lived in our yard and that it would watch me sleep. Oddly enough I still wouldn't sleep in my room where there was no windows.

I also believed that all spiders where after me. So a lot of times I would have the vacuum next to me so that I could suck them up. This kind of back fired when I came up with the idea that all the spiders I sucked up was living in the vacuum.

 

[Dethenger]

For a while, I either misread $1.00 as $100, or didn't understand what cents were yet, and thought my mom paid a hundred bucks for one of these. [http://d1535dk28ea235.cloudfront.net/preset_65/532_0.jpg] I still understood that a hundred dollars was a lot of money, so I was almost ashamed to eat it.

I also used to think you weren't allowed to ask your mom for anything on Mother's Day. Anything. I was only like six at the time and couldn't reach the cups in my house because the shelves were too high, but I was really thirsty. I was beside myself with nerves when I asked her to get one for me.

 

[octafish]

When I was a kid I thought Ronald Reagan and Yuri Andropov would end all life on the planet in a Nuclear Apocalypse. Then, after Chernenko, Gorby came along and let me sleep at night. I still remember Gorbachev very fondly, although I remained unconvinced that we would survive beyond the year 2000 until I was a teenager. The Cold War was a weird time to grow up.

 

[game-lover]

Gosh... I can't think of anything off the top of my head...

I'll have to read this whole thread when I get a chance to see if my memory refreshes.

 

[Animyr]

I thought that if I was in the garage when the garage door shut I would turn into a pumpkin.

Oddly specific, I know.

 

[CJMacM]

I used to think that The Simpsons was an accurate portrayal of everyday life. I saw one episode where Bart finds out the Homer went to jail like 6 times and Marge went like 3 times. I assumed that is was completely normal for most people to go to jail that often.

My brother used to think that on shows with re-enactments of real people getting killed that the camera man was actually there at the time of the murder. He would be so confused as to why some guy would be filming something like that instead of helping.

 

[Arrogancy]

Also, I used to think that if I ever told anyone over the phone that I was alone in the house, they would burst through the front door to murder me. Thank you Julia, my loving sister.

 

[randomsix]

I thought that if a book was on tape it was true. So many nights spent awake in fear of the Talon of Doom.

 

[everfreeDragon]

I used to think Thunder was the sound of god bowling.
Also my room would be instantly filled with monsters whenever the light was off and the only ways to not be eaten by them were to stay on my bed or disguise myself as a monster.
Also I believed everything on the TV was real but only on other planets.
Last one I can recall so far is that I used to believe I had super powers. I was sad to discover I was completely average.

 

[anAngryHamster]

For a long time I thought snow came from the rings of Saturnus.
A teacher told my class that. She apparently didn't know six year olds(might've been five) doesn't really get sarcasm.

My grandmother did the same thing to me. We were at the beach and she told me that the ocean was salty because fish peed in it. I couldn't imagine anything this woman saying being anything but the truth. A few weeks later my 1st (or 2nd) grade teacher asked us why the ocean was salty...

I had to move my good behavior sticker from happy face to frowny face.

 

[Fijiman]

I used to be really afraid of heights. Really afraid. If I looked down from a window it was fine but if there wasn't anything between me and the free fall to the ground I couldn't stop imagining slipping and ending down on the ground broken and dead. If I looked down from our balcony, I always held on to something in case I fell. But it didn't help my fear, because if I held tightly enough, I just ended up imagining my head will fall off if I leaned out.

I'm still fairly bad about this one. I hate going up on tall ladders or other tall, easy to fall off of structures. It helps even less when said structure is really shaky.(this did nothelp me during theater tech class at times)

I thought that both girls and boys had a penis (I had never actually SEEN a penis, I just thought that everyone had one without really understanding what it was.)
Oddly enough after that misunderstanding I was never very confused about sex.

Same here. I used to think how much it would hurt to have a baby come out of your penis.(at least I got the pain part right if nothing else)

Aside from thinking that everyone had a penis, I can't think of anything that I thought was true as a young child but now know is not.

 

[zane224]

I used to think that my birthday was MINE, and only mine. I took this further to realize that this meant there were only 365 people in the world...

 

[yRar_972]

I thought I could become invisible or at least unnoticed if I thought about it hard. When it didn't work I told myself I didn't think about it hard enough.

I never liked sleeping with my neck exposed so I always had my blanket up to my head. I thought some psychopath with a silent chainsaw would cut my neck.

Like others, my childhood was messed up.