Stupidist things youve heard people say

[Bad Jim]

"What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?"
The answer is both weigh the same, but it you answer quickly, you will instinctively say bricks right? Well a friend answered with feathers, we asked him why and he said "well, feather weigh a lot when they are together" What?

The word ton has several meanings. It can be a unit of weight, but it can also be a measure of volume, in which case the bricks are a lot heavier.

Beware that the metric tonne is a measurement of mass, rather than weight. In this case the feathers may have the same mass but because they displace more of the Earths' atmosphere they will weigh less. A blimp can have a mass of one tonne and have a negative weight.

You can also baffle people with "What weighs more, a pound of gold or a pound of feathers?" Because the gold is weighed in troy pounds, which are lighter than the more common avoirdupois pounds that the feathers would be measured in, the feathers will indeed be heavier.

 

[Tomster595]

On my school bus when I was a senior in high school:

Freshman girl 1: "So you know how dogs need to fuck each other in the asses to have babies?"
Freshman girl 2: "Yea"
Freshman girl 1: "Do you think if a guy fucked a dog in the ass they'd have half man half dog babies?"
Freshman girl 2: "Wow, yea, probably."

My mind was blown

 

[Mersadeon]

In my free time, I give private lessons in almost any subject. A little note before we start: I live in Germany.
One of the guys I give lessons to, he must be around 14, once asked me "Who is Hitler?". A bit flabbergasted, I asked him back "You... don't know who Hitler is?".
Then he asked "Well... eh, isn't he the guy that the Jews worship?"

Yup. He said that.

To his defense, though, he didn't know much about history in general. I actually gave him a two hour version of the history of mankind. My voice was gone from talking so fast, desperately trying to cover everything at least a bit.

But he later asked something else, when we came to the topic of WWI. "So... in a war, they fight every day? Without break?" "Yeah, every day." "But at night everyone sleeps, right? But what if one side attacks while the other guys sleep?"
It's like he thinks nobody ever thought of that. Kinda cute, actually.

(Also, he loves to play Call of Duty and Medal of Honor games. I remember that back in my days of Call of Duty 2, it actually prompted me to research everything about WWII even before school really tried to teach us.)

 

[anti movie bob]

"Can you go to university for modelling?"

Good thing the girl who said that is good looking cause she doesnt have many smarts

 

[The Wooster]

"Why don't Africans just drink the sea?" A girl in my college English class.

 

[Platypus540]

During study hall a couple weeks ago, someone had a long argument with me about how he thought that on 9/11, the US government fired a missile at the pentagon (instead of the plane that hit it) because there were 10 temp workers who had embezzled billions of dollars from the Department of Defense.

He honestly thought that: The US military fired a ballistic missile at its own headquarters to kill some embezzlers.

This argument lasted for a solid half hour, despite the idiocy of the theory, the goddamn videos of the plane crashing, and the fact that a lot of people died from the plane crash itself.

That was a pretty hilarious study hall, my friends and I had many a laugh.

 

[Flame9006]

"Canada is bordered by which two oceans?"
Note this was said by a Canadian
Everyone involved had a good laugh about it.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

snip

Wait. You guys dont add tax to the shown price?

Why the hell not?

Cause we just know theres tax. *shrug*

It's not really disorientating, you just always account for it.

 

[Judgement101]

"It's cold as Hell in here" to which people say "Hell is hot!" I go by The Inferno's version of Hell, WHICH IS COLD! Seriously, I hate my group of friends. The reason this is supid is because ALL OF THEM HAVE READ THE INFERNO!

 

[bigfatcarp93]

In Middle School, I used to ride the bus with this DUMB AS FUCKING BRICKS kid named Gabe, who said the most profoundly stupid things I've ever heard. I can't remember most of it these days, but among it was:

"If I lost my arm, that would be awesome, because then I could get a prosthetic arm that's super-strong!"

Also, his ever-insightful belief that, and I shit you not, he actually believed this, Evolution in real life worked the same way it did in Pokemon.

 

[bigfatcarp93]

In Middle School, I used to ride the bus with this DUMB AS FUCKING BRICKS kid named Gabe, who said the most profoundly stupid things I've ever heard. I can't remember most of it these days, but among it was:

"If I lost my arm, that would be awesome, because then I could get a prosthetic arm that's super-strong!"

Also, his ever-insightful belief that, and I shit you not, he actually believed this, Evolution in real life worked the same way it did in Pokemon.

Okay, you know what? Having just stirred up that memory, I'm thinking about it more, and as I do, I begin to realize more and more that those bus rides ran almost EXACTLY like episodes of the Ricky Gervais Show. Seriously: It was me and a friend named Will, and we would spend the entire bus ride EVERY DAY talking to Gabe and picking apart the idiotic things he said.

Gabe was Pilkington, I was Gervais, and Will was Merchant: he would goad Gabe into saying something dumb, which I would pick apart and Will and I would have a good laugh at.

Damn, good times...

 

[Kenbo Slice]

I was trying to hit on this cute girl who was wearing a Green Lantern shirt and the conversation went just like this:

Me: "I like your shirt, are you really into Green Lantern?"

Her: "Yeah!"

Me: "Who's your favorite Green Lantern?"

Her: "Ryan Reynolds."

"Who's your favorite Green Lantern?" is the probably the worst pick-up line I've ever heard dude.

I was trying to start a conversation >.>

 

[solemnwar]

"Why don't Africans just drink the sea?" A girl in my college English class.

.... I think I just got dumber after reading that. Thanks a lot


OT: one of my coworkers thought kenya was somewhere in asia.
The topic of Kenya came up when I complained about one of those stupid-as-fuck rag mags was like "ERMERGHERD THERE'S PROOF OBAMA IS FROM KENYA!!11!1!!" I mentioned that if he really had been born in another country, they would have found out a LONG time ago.

Coworker: Yeah, and like, Kenya isn't really known for Black people, right?
Me: *speechless*
Coworker: *says some more things that I've forgotten in the six months since*
Me: You know that Kenya is in AFRICA, right?
Coworker: Really?! I thought it was in Asia!


No. Words.

 

[Tharwen]

This is the worst thread on the escapist. Everyone in it should feel bad.

Actually, that was hyperbole. Only some of you should feel bad. It's still got some really shitty opinions in it though.

 

[Brutal Peanut]

-This is my most recent-

My husband and I had gone to a get-together organized by one of his friends. My husband was wherever he was at that time and I was in the backyard with an acquaintance talking about what we were currently reading or re-reading. A lesser known acquaintance came up to us and said, "Did you know Alice in Wonderland was written in a french jail by some guy."

Me: "Hm,..no, that's not accurate. Lewis Carroll never went to jail, let alone a french jail."
Him: "Who is Lewis Carroll?"
Me: "....He wrote Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass".
Him: "Ah, okay. But it was written in jail. I heard it somewhere."
Me: "Well, I'm sorry but that's not right."

He looked at the person I was standing with and shrugged as if to say, "Well, if she doesn't know she's wrong,.." and then just sort of drifted away from us and back into the house. Funny thing is, we weren't even talking about Lewis Carroll or any of his works when he decided to share his information with us.

 

[Arcadian Legend]

"Why don't Africans just drink the sea?" A girl in my college English class.

Okay, that definitely has to set some kind of record for the most stupid thing ever said.

 

[Tharwen]

The topic of Kenya came up when I complained about one of those stupid-as-fuck rag mags was like "ERMERGHERD THERE'S PROOF OBAMA IS FROM KENYA!!11!1!!"

Would it matter? Is there an actual rule that says the US President has to have been born there or is it just that they'd never get voted in if they hadn't?

 

[Easton Dark]

The topic of Kenya came up when I complained about one of those stupid-as-fuck rag mags was like "ERMERGHERD THERE'S PROOF OBAMA IS FROM KENYA!!11!1!!"

Would it matter? Is there an actual rule that says the US President has to have been born there or is it just that they'd never get voted in if they hadn't?

The President has to be a natural born U.S. citizen. It's in the rule book.

Also over 40 years old I believe.

 

[solemnwar]

The topic of Kenya came up when I complained about one of those stupid-as-fuck rag mags was like "ERMERGHERD THERE'S PROOF OBAMA IS FROM KENYA!!11!1!!"

Would it matter? Is there an actual rule that says the US President has to have been born there or is it just that they'd never get voted in if they hadn't?

Yep, President must have been born in Amurrica.
"Natural-born-citizen clause".

Edit: Fuck, Ninja'd 8|

 

[champy_fan]

My lady's godfather is a gun owner, which is fine, but he also carries two magazines with him at all times as well. When asked why he needs so much ammo to defend himself, he told me that if someone shot up the place he was at he would shoot back at them. I believe the quote was, "If someone at that Connecticut school had this on them, that wouldn't have happened." Like he lives in a damned action movie or something.