i have to say, for the first time, i disagree with pretty much any and all of the advice given this time, therefor here would be my advice, distilled into short sentences
Frank-N-Furter
your fine how you are, if men wont come to you, you go to them
find someone you think is attractive and go talk to them yourself
it may be the social norm that the male takes the initial active role, but some men aren't comfortable with that, especially socially awkward geek guys, and it sounds like your appearance might be a little intimidating
some guys, like me for example, would sit around in the back of a group alone hoping someone, anyone, might actually sit down and talk to them, that unfortunately isn't a very good strategy, so go make someones day
U-Haul Truck
Sit down with your girl and have a strait up honest talk with her, tell her your concerns
if you really don't care for her anymore, then tell her you want to break up and exactly why
furthermore, she got along fine without you before you got together, she will do fine on her own when you leave her, if you intend to dump the girl, then her financial well being isn't your responsibility
ultimately i feel that an honest actual discussion is the best and least hurtful thing you can do, either work it out with her, or dump her though, don't sit in silence
Wanting Jessie's Girl
there are two ways you can deal with it, you can keep your feelings bottled up and never say anything, and try to turn your own attention to someone else, you will of corse, never know what might have, or might not have been, but that's the natural way of things
or
you can tell her how you feel, worst case scenario there is she tells you that shes not interested, a real friend can work through the awkwardness that would likely follow and you could very possibly remain good friends, and it will feel better and be easier to move on if you get an actual rejection
on the other hand it could also start a new relationship with her, you could become closer, or even lovers, if your worried about hurting her boyfriend, keep in mind that your confession could act as a test for their relationship, if you get the girl instead of him, then perhaps their relationship wasn't as strong as initially imagined, and your confession just makes it end sooner rather then later
either way you go will likely have consequences, keep your feelings to yourself and never know if you could have been more, or tell her and risk losing your friendships, i advise you to think hard about what you really want, and commit yourself to a decision and never waiver from it
Final words
well that was allot longer then i originally thought
id advise anyone who actually read that wall of text to keep in mind that I'm a lonely guy who has never been on an actual date in his life, and who's advice comes from an idealized place in his mind, i only wish to help and i don't imagine myself as any sort of love guru, ultimately i believe that open and honest communication is the only real way to deal with relationship problems, and that if you really care about someone, then pretty much anything can be worked though, unlike fantasies, love isn't easy, it requires constant maintenance or it will break down and leave everyone miserable, that doesn't mean that it isn't worth the effort, take it from someone whose never known real love, it is most definitely not better to be alone
