Tasteless Jokes!

[s3cur1tr0n]

How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?

It must be more than 5 because its still dark in my basement!

*anyone got any better?

 

[Queen Michael]

A woman died and went to heaven.
"My child," God said, "because you have honored me so much with so many good deeds for your neighbours, I will answer one question from you. Any question you like."
The woman was quiet for a while, and then said "Lord... The Holocaust. Why? Just... why?"
The Lord was quiet for a while, and then he spoke thusly:

Spoiler: And now, the offensive and tasteless punchline!

"I suppose not everybody appreciates that kind of humor..."

 

[Dragonlayer]

Spoiler: Rape!

Surveys have found that nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape.

Spoiler: Sexual deviancy!

A farmer goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, I'm worried that I might be attracted to my horses!"
The doctor asks: "Mares or stallions?"
Utterly aghast, the farmer replies: "Mares of course! What do you think I am, some kind of pervert!?"

Spoiler: Bestiality!

What's the difference between a pony and a pizza?

You don't cum inside a pizza before you eat it.

Spoiler: The Holocaust!

Two Jewish children are sitting on top of a roof near a chimney. A passer-by asks: "What are you doing up there?"

"We are waiting for our parents."

Spoiler: More sexual deviancy!

Necrophilia: Lay back and crack open a cold one.

 

[Cowabungaa]

Here's a rather terrible Holocaust 'joke'.

Why did Adolf Hitler faint when he got his mail?

Spoiler: *drumroll*

Because he opened his gas bill.

God why do I even laughed at those when I was a kid...

 

[Auron225]

Dead Baby Jokes!

What's the difference between a white dead baby and a black dead baby?

Spoiler: ...

The amount of time you leave it in the oven

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?

Spoiler: ...

You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

Dead Baby Jokes!

What's the difference between a white dead baby and a black dead baby?

Spoiler: ...

The amount of time you leave it in the oven

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?

Spoiler: ...

You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline

Got one more:

What's funnier than 15 babies in a barrel?

Spoiler

One baby in 15 barrels!

Also:

What's the difference between a jew and Santa Claus?

Spoiler

The direction they go in the chimney!

What has 8 heads, 15 legs and 5 arms?

Spoiler: Incredibly offensive punchline spoilered because this is about fairly recent events

The Boston Marathon!

 

[The Raw Shark]

Wolverine once asked Blob to find someone fatter than him while they were still in the States.

Blob looked to the left before going aghast and dying.

(I feel like the anti-joke chicken)

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

Wolverine once asked Blob to find someone fatter than him while they were still in the States.

Blob looked to the left before going aghast and dying.

(I feel like the anti-joke chicken)

Sorry for being an idiot, but

Is it a stab at the politically left wing?

 

[TheRiddler]

I dunno, jokes about sadism, necrophilia and bestiality are painfully overdone.

If you ask me, it's... beating a dead horse.

 

[Michael Tabbut]

What has 8 heads, 15 legs and 5 arms?

Spoiler: Incredibly offensive punchline spoilered because this is about fairly recent events

The Boston Marathon!

FUCK I really shouldn't be laughing about that! I was there that day!

OT. I'm terrible at jokes but I'll give it a shot. *ahem*

An escaped convict goes to a church to confess his sins. The priest asked what he did. The convict tells him that he raped 100 underage girls. The priest responds

Spoiler

100 underaged girls? Congrats, you have won a free pass into Heaven! God loves pedophiles!

 

[Shinsei-J]

Oh oh I've got one.

Spoiler: How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends how hard you throw them!

Personally I think it's a classic.

 

[EHKOS]

Funny this thread should pop up. In a cathartic act I made up a terrible joke while texting a friend today.

What is black and red and horizontal?

Spoiler

Michael Brown

It's not even that good.

 

[Godhead]

Spoiler: Bestiality!

What's the difference between a pony and a pizza?

You don't cum inside a pizza before you eat it.

Well maybe you don't.

OT: What's the best thing about twenty three year olds?

Spoiler

There's twenty of them

 

[blue heartless]

I locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic the one night. It turns out they get really upset when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger.

 

[Kathinka]

Some of those are so dark they have to sit in the rear of the bus. I got one too.

How to Ethiopian mothers celebrate their kids first birthday?
They put flowers on their graves.

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

What did the leper say to the prostitute?

Spoiler

Keep the tip.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Spoiler: How many babies does it take to open a car door?

I don't know yet but I spent the entire summer trying to figure it out

Spoiler: Did you hear the one about the vegan dietitian?

Who the Fuck hasn't?!

I tried the strangulation trick last time I jerked off. The problem is, I tripped half-way through my jerk-session. I didn't know if I was cumming or going.

People will tell you fucking a corpse is in poor taste...Obviously those people have as much experience fucking corpses as they do eating them. (that was probably better conceptually)

Sonic the Hedgehog

I deeply apologize for that...

 

[The Raw Shark]

Sorry for being an idiot, but

Is it a stab at the politically left wing?

Tis a poorly thought through joke about how shocked Fred Dukes would be to realize that his obesity isn't that special, taking a jab at the stereotype of most Americans being fat sods, as well as fat people in general.

Captcha: HEAD CASE, Makes sense for the occasion.

 

[Johnny Impact]

What's the same about spreading butter on bread and getting a woman to spread her legs?

Spoiler: ....

You can do either with a credit card but it's easier with a knife.

One time I was cooking a pizza extra well done. I said to my friends, "It's gonna be so dark when it comes out of the oven, it'll have cops chasing it!"