Telemarketer Stories

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qbert4ever

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Dec 14, 2007
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If I'm at the computer I either Rick Roll them or mess around with a Rock soundboard. If the internet isn't at hand, I tell them I'm busy drinking goat blood to appease Lucifer.
 

jim_doki

New member
Mar 29, 2008
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Telemarketer: Would you like to subscribe to our magazine?
Me:Yes *hangs up*
 

wewontdie11

New member
May 28, 2008
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Best one I did was;

Telemarketer: Hello is Mrs. ___ there? I'd like to ask about completing a quick survey.
Me (in my incredibly deep voice): Yes this is her.
Telemarketer: ... No I said Mrs, could you please pass the phone on.
Me: I am Mrs. ___, you saying I sound like a man? How dare you! *hang up*
 

pantsoffdanceoff

New member
Jun 14, 2008
2,751
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I always try to interest the marketeer in what they're trying to sell. Not a single one has successfully suppressed the urge to yell at me. I have a talent for annoyance.
 

Naeo

New member
Dec 31, 2008
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"I'm sorry my good sir, I do not speak English. Could you say that again in [insert language], please?"
And if they start talking in that language just nervously shout something about them being a communist and hang up ASAP.
 

darkless

New member
Jan 26, 2008
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I don't have a story but someone should get a friend or family member to yell in the background "Where are you going the hookers stopped breathing!"
 

samsprinkle

New member
Jun 29, 2008
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(doesn't really count but is funny) My uncle Rick evidently worked in a carnival when he was younger and he always tells people about it, the whole shabang, a LONG story. anyway at a family reunion his satalite TV stopped picking anything up so he called the tech support for Dish network. Three hours on the phone later I asked him if they had got it fixed just to make conversation(didn't see that he still had the phone to his ear) and he told me to hang on for a little bit. I walked into the other room and heard him talking to the tech support guy about the carnival. Found out later that he talked to him for FOUR hours about it. The problem was cleared up almost immediately. I admire the bravery of that tech support guy. He didn't hang up and responded to everything Rick said...
 

Berethond

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Nov 8, 2008
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I talk in Spanish. Except all the telemarketers for my area speak Spanish, so I start off in Spanish and transition into German. Start talking Rammstein lyrics at them.
 

Drake the Dragonheart

The All-American Dragon.
Aug 14, 2008
4,606
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A couple of times I have made obscene bodily noises into the phone, that was funny, and one time I told them to enjoy the tactical nuclear warhead headed in the direction. But my favorite was when I had the telemarketer convinced that he had called a murder scene and was now caught up in police investigation. That one was PRICELESS!
 

mokes310

New member
Oct 13, 2008
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I was actually training a collections/customer service agent who turned out to be the dumbest, yet funniest person ever.

We went through the script, and he was fine. When it came time to give him his first call, this is what he said, no joke...

"Hello, my name is , what can I help you with tod...aw shit!" Instead of saying his name, he said blank, then swore while the customer was on the phone. Needless to say, the customer understood and we all had a good laugh.
 

sequio

New member
Dec 15, 2007
495
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When i pick up the phone and it's a telemarketer i talk normally for a few seconds and then start yelling "DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" like Rimmer on Red Dwarf when he quarantines the crew.
 

mathias53

New member
Mar 25, 2008
147
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Whenever they call and ask for one of my parents i start to cry and say "Mrs. Mathias53 died 2 weeks ago", then i continue to sob until they hang up.

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=un_PjRXV5l8 (best thing EVER)
 

letsnoobtehpwns

New member
Dec 28, 2008
1,628
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once on called while my family was having dinner and my sister answered and told him to fuck off. then he called back saying that she didn't have to be so rude lol.