tell me some bad jokes

[ChildofGallifrey]

I was a little hesitant to throw this one out, but after reading through the whole thread I feel like it'll fit just fine.

Spoiler: Warning: Racism, and Clint Eastwood

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

Spoiler: This will ruffle your jimmies

Gang rape

I laughed probably a little too hard at that one.

 

[idodo35]

Here ya go!

this guy is painfully unfunny... well exept this gazuntite thing which was rather funny!
also he seems to be unknowingly making fun of his own belifes!
also no one belives he is going to become a tree... only that they are going to use him as an furzulator...

 

[idodo35]

I'm just glad you guys didn't make any Holocaust jokes.

They're not funny.

My grandpa died in a concentration camp.

He fell off the watchtower.

hey, thats odd. my grandfather died in one too. some bastard fell on him

Everyone need to stop making Holocaust jokes. Can you Nazi how hurtful they are?

on that note:
hitler sits in his fort pushing jews over a cliff
a startled messenger come in and say "my fuherr! the british are coming!"
hitler says "quiet! im playing tetris!"

 

[attackshark]

double profile picture, this calls for a rap battle, TO THE DEATH!!!1!!!1!11!1

sorry, guy; i was here first. you'll have to concede.

 

[Elijah Newton]

So the site said I needed a password that was eight characters and I typed in, "snow white and the seven dwarves.'

 

[Elijah Newton]

A snare drum and cymbals fell off a cliff. *ba-dum chii*

(this is bad enough to deserve a bit of clarification. That last bit you're supposed to do is meant to sound like a rimshot, which I can't figure out how to render phonetically. Rimshots being what are generally heard to punctuate a joke and, in this case, the sound of a snare drum and cymbals falling off a cliff.)

(how's that for over-explanation?)

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

An atheist is walking through the rainforest when he is surrounded a tribe of natives with spears. Thinking he is amount to die he screams out, "Oh God I'm screwed!" Just then a light comes from the sky and God speaks to the atheist, "fear not my child you are not screwed, take a rock from the ground and strike the chief of the tribe on the head and you shall be spared." So the atheist does as he is instructed and strikes the chief of tribe on the head. "Now my child you're screwed", said God.

 

[Durgiun]

Bad Puns:

Beer Nuts: The official disease of Milwaukee
Cotton Balls: The final stage of Beer Nuts
Octopussy: An eight sided vagina
Trampoline: A sexual lubricant popular with the oldest profession
Attila the Hon: A gay barbarian

George Carlin for the win.

 

[kickyourass]

I've got two for you.
#1 So a Priest, a Rabbi, and an Imam, all walk into a bar, the bartender turns and asks, "What is this a joke?"

#2 Why is a balloon, alot like Virginity?
One little prick and it's gone.

Damn that's like a quadruple post!! lol

OT: I got some. Why couldn't the little boy see the pirate movie? It was rated ARGH!!!

So I guy walks in to a bar he said oww

Sorry, the Escapist was lagging like a ************ yesterday, I haven't been able to come and correct the mistake until like just now. Didn't even realize it had happened until about an hour afterward.

 

[Rancid0ffspring]

A snare drum and cymbals fell off a cliff. *ba-dum chii*

(this is bad enough to deserve a bit of clarification. That last bit you're supposed to do is meant to sound like a rimshot, which I can't figure out how to render phonetically. Rimshots being what are generally heard to punctuate a joke and, in this case, the sound of a snare drum and cymbals falling off a cliff.)

(how's that for over-explanation?)

2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff!

Punch line [http://instantrimshot.com/]

Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy!

Statistically 1 out of 6 people do not enjoy Russian Roulette!

 

[jFr[e]ak93]

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

The Heavy walks into bar. Bar goes ow.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bar exploded with awesome.

Knock knock

 

[subjectseven]

How do you get better at slam dunking?

Spoiler

You eat Dunkin' Donuts.

 

[varulfic]

What's worse than finding a whole worm in your apple?

The holocaust.

 

[ElectricMegaHamstah]

Ok, so there's 2 atoms, and on of em's like:
"Hey! I think I've lost my electron!" Then the other one's like:
"Whoa, You sure?"
"Yeah I'm Positive!"
You get it? huh? HUH?

Captcha: "internet urriesl" What is this I don't even...

 

[RabbiiFrystofsk]

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas?
Cancer

What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a rake

Yeah i laughed, sue me.

 

[codeg]

I'm just glad you guys didn't make any Holocaust jokes.

They're not funny.

My grandpa died in a concentration camp.

He fell off the watchtower.

hey, thats odd. my grandfather died in one too. some bastard fell on him

Everyone need to stop making Holocaust jokes. Can you Nazi how hurtful they are?

I used to make jokes like that all the time. I told them in class occasionally, but I had to stop. I was getting terrible Marx.

Can we please stop this. Their inappropriate, Anne Frankly I'm sick of it.

 

[Crazy]

Well, a Jewish man walks into a bar...

 

[flamingjimmy]

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?

A nervous wreck

 

[Kapri]

What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him!

Wakka wakka!!!

 

[1mike1000]

A hole was found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.