My job is fucking awful, here's the basic rundown.
First, there's this fucking stunning girl, knockout ten. She could be a model if she met the right people. But, fuck me, is she useless. Constantly putting make up on or fixing her hair and whining like a little *****. Completely self centered too, she doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself. She's so fucking dumb too, I'm surprised she can even remember how to breathe.
This other girl is completely the opposite. She's got to be one of the smartest girls on the planet, I have no idea why she's with us, she could have any job she wanted. Damn is she ugly, though. She's a zero, to put it bluntly. Her hair looks like it hasn't been washed in years and I'm fairly certain she doesn't shave her womanly parts. I think she might be a lesbian too, every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in the heat.
The jewel of the crowd has to be the stoner. He's not just your average pothead that you can ignore, though. He's baked before he comes to work, during work and after work, I'm sure. He likely hasn't been sober in the past ten years and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 60s and, to make things worse, he brings his dog to work. His fucking dog! Every day I have to look at this Great Dane walk around stoned from the second hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with it's constant bellowing. The both of them are constantly hungry requiring multiple stops at McDonalds and Burger King every single day.
So anyway, I drive around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
