I bear many of these qualities myself, heheh.
Though, to be fair, I know someone like that. Some of the things, god....
You mentioned the aggressive aetheist? Try aggresive agnostic. He does not tell everyone there is no god, you are all wrong, he instead with his big smug smile, tell everyone that neither has been proven, all of you are arguing out of emotion and likely wrong. I am sure he feels soooo superior.
On the note of lame jokes, he is constantly the one to spring to 'your mothers' or whatever other uninspired mindnumbind dreck he is fixiated with. Worse, it seems to infect others, those who are normally more interesting than that when they feel like trying to be clever, but around him....it spreads. He also insists on swearing like a sailor, and whenever pressed about it, guess what, he swears back. I tell him that it bothers me, but unfortunately, that is just fuel to the fire.
He is the first to tell everyone else how he feels, and never lets anyone do the same about him. He blames everyone else, tells them about it, tells them to leave the group, etc. The problem is...another companion of mind was just with a few associates of his. But this dick friend is antisocial and contact with anyone is jaded and awkward. He does not put up with anything, shouts at people to leave, apparently the idea has not hit him that he is not the figurehead of our group and others may want to see us....
In his insecurities he is worried that he might sound a little high pitched, and thus deems it necessary to keep his voice at a constant 'gravel tone'. I tell him what he says comes across as a monotone blur that grates on my ears, but nooo.....apparently it is more important that he never show any emotion in speech.
He loves to rain on everyone's parade. He has had a heated arguement with someone about how hapiness dulls the mind, and emotions of any kind are a mental illness. I get heated when I argue about things, and often find my voice raising. He then puts on his gravel and asks what I am getting so worked up about....
He does not take criticism or opposition, anytime I point out his flaws he likes to, as mentioned above, swear back. Or turn it around to make me the bad guy. Every time I ask for him to just put an effort and stop being so affronting to everyone.....on that note, another friend of mind has been dubbed by the dick as 'moralfag'. He once told the dick that he should probably do his chemistry work, and that he should not tell horrible stories about the cruel things he has done. He was then told to shut the f up, moralfag.
He cannot maintain a commited relationship with anyone, and thus feels it necessary to make horrid jests mostly aimed at me, as I am the only one in a relationship with a woman. The trouble is, for many complicated reasons that I do not want to speak about here, I do not spend much time with her at school, so he is constantly on about that. Or he can just switch 'mother' in his horrid jests to 'Chelsea'.
That is just the beginning of it.....though of course I have skimmed over the positives. Either way....
