Chasing around my helicopter alarm clock hurts a lot more with a trick ankle. I shuffled over a discarded shirt, tripping on an empty box, and ended up crawling on all-fours before the helicopter started to sink. It was singing some new Lady GaGa song, which made me realize it was still on Radio. Hadn't I fixed that?
Veru and Kitten both eyed me with feline disinterest, deciding I was only worth watching as long as I was a threat to their sleep patterns. Fuzzy slackers, the pair of them. I hopped in the shower, got shaved, dressed, and ready for the day. Outside, Caime was just getting up, and trudging toward the shower. I started on cooking breakfast, managed to get bacon and eggs out before Caime had finished in the shower, and laid out the table. At that point, I was floundering on things to do, so I checked my e-mail, which had nothing of interest, and my answering machine, which had two very interesting messages on it.
The first was from Aeryn, and it sounded hollow. It was weird, like hearing it through a tin-can and a string. ?Hey Nukums. Um... I'm sorry about the note, I think. I'm out of the country right now, so you probably won't see me for a bit. Thanks for being so nice, and stuff. I left your key inthebottomofthebinoutside, so uh... Yeah. I guess I can call you when I get back. So...? The machine beeped, the message had ended there. I tried not to wonder what she was going to say, and waited for the second message to start. ?Hey sexy peoples,? the message began, inflected with a lovely Australian accent. ?I got your e-mail a while ago, but I was too busy to see to it. But I'm here now, ready for the party, and only jet-lagged a lot. So, come pick me up. Hugs and kisses, Beefy.?
Whoa. I had nearly forgotten about that e-mail. I told Caime to start breakfast without me, and took to the stairs, getting a weak two flights down before my ankle started hurting. I road the elevator the rest of the way to parking, and got the Jag out and moving.
Airports are nasty places to drive, with hundreds of signs every which way, and countless spirals and turns, both redundant and absolutely vital, sending me in an awkward series of twists, turns, and near-collisions with giant buses and taxicabs. Did I mention I didn't like airports?
I followed the signs to the international, hoping that it was where Beefy would be waiting, and managed to just barely get parked before a battle-hardened SUV, bearing the scars of countless wrecks, tried to get the spot I was now resting in. I got out of my car, ignored the drivers shouts of anger, and continued toward the airport. The baggage claim was a mess of tourists, security officers, bustling professionals, shameless slackers, and travelers of every sort. I leaned against the wall closest to the door, and looked around. It was a little hard to spot him in the crowd, but I managed to find him speaking to his luggage. His voice was a dead giveaway. ?Hey sexy,? I said, grinning. ?About time you answered that e-mail.?
?Can't help that everyone wants a piece of Beefy's sexy time.?
?Well they're obviously not as important as me.? I said matter-of-factly, taking his luggage.
?Right,? he said with a grin, ?what was I thinking??
?You weren't,? I answered, fishing my keys out of my pocket. ?If you were, you'd've been here already.?
?Oh you.? He said, looking at the keys. ?Jaguar?? He pronounced it the weird way, Jag-oo-ar. Weirdo.
?Yeah, it's my baby.?
?Nice looking baby,? he said, walking up to it. ?I approve of the color.?
?Has there ever been anything of mine you didn't approve of??
?You talk too much,? he said, stifling a yawn. ?I'm hungry, give your Beefycakes some food.?
I started the car, pulling out of my spot. ?It's always the brain stem with you.?
I lead him back to the apartment, where he proceeded to complain about the stairs. I told him to deal, as I was the one with the injured ankle, and made it up ten flights this time. I decided to screw the pain, and kept going. It wasn't easy, but I made it up the next eight in moderately decent time. Caime was completely slaughtering breakfast when we walked in, and at the smell, Beefy immediately went to aiding and abetting.
I decided I didn't need breakfast, and started making a sandwich. The benefit of American living, anything can become delicious put between two slices of bread. While they tore into the bacon, I was composing a turkey-cheese-bread masterpiece. After a bit of salsa to keep the sandwich interesting, I settled in at the head of the table and ate with Caime and Beefy in relative silence for a few minutes. After Caime was done eating, he looked up at me. ?Om nom nom??
I looked down at the sandwich, then looked up again, affecting a terrible Russian accent. ?Om nom nom.?
Beefy eyed me suspiciously. ?Your accent is terrible.?
I immediately responded with the worst possible version of Steve Irwin I could manage. ?So's yours, mate.?
He glowered at me, and went back to eating. I continued eating my sandwich.
After breakfast, I frowned at Beefy. ?Well, you're here, what did you want to do??
?I dunno, meet some people, do some stuff. Sexy stuff.?
?Uh, yeah. I should warn you, I'm a bit boring.?
?Well,? he said simply, ?don't be.?
Veru plopped on my lap, eying my plate mischievously. I stuck a hand on his head. He tried to bob around it to get to my plate, and I kept it gently pressing his head down. ?Sorry to disappoint. I suppose we can go to the coffee shop, see who we see.?
?Good enough for me.?
?Later,? I answered immediately, looking at the cat on my lap. ?I seem to be anchored into place.?
?No,? Beefy said, tugging my arm until I got up. The cat glared at the pair of us, turned his nose in the air, and sauntered off. Kitten seemed to saunter off with him. I decided not to worry about it.
?Alright Beefy, let's go.?
He smiled easily, more happy than anything else. ?About time.?
The coffee shop was lively enough for a mid-morning hour. Erana was bubbling behind the counter, there was just enough bustle to keep everyone noisy. I liked it for that reason, always enough humanity to fill in the spaces where the atmosphere didn't. I signaled Erana, tossed my card on the counter, and grabbed my usual drink. She had the milk rung up and paid for before I got back to the counter to sign the chit. I added a flourish to the signature, just because I was in a good mood. ?Always with the milk. Don't you ever get anything caffeinated to drink??
?I dunno, do you guys have any Sprite??
She grinned at me, ?That's a very Nuke thing to say.?
?I wouldn't be me if I didn't say it.?
The Aussie behind me smiled, ?And who's this sexy lady right here??
?Beefy, Erana. Erana, Beefy. Any questions??
Beefy stared blankly at me, ?If two lesbians make out in the middle of a forest, and no one is ar-?
I jostled him in the ribs, which stopped him mid-sentence. He smirked, quieting down. Erana just looked at him with a confused expression. I went to go claim an empty table.
After a few minutes of socializing, Beefy dropped into the chair opposite me. ?So, where do we go from here??
?Isn't that the quintessential question? Humans are always trying to understand the bigger picture, so it makes sense that we're all wondering where it goes from here. I'm not nearly as smart as some of the folks who've tried to answer that question, what makes you think I'm qualified for that??
?Well,? Beefy said, mirroring my voice, ?they're obviously not as important as you.?
I laughed, ?Right, how could I forget??
Suddenly, Beefy got a look in his eyes, and I turned to the door. An unfamiliar face appeared in the entryway. She couldn't have been more than twenty, twenty-one tops, and had beautiful hair. I could've written a checklist of physical features, but I didn't bother making the effort. The short answer was that she was quite pretty. Beefy immediately recognized her. ?Hey there Nonymoushe.?
?Who's your friend?? I asked, taking stock of the woman approaching our table. She was not too tall, had pretty hair, and a pretty smile.
?This is Anonymoushe. She's my friend.?
I nod, ?Cute friend.?
?I can hear you,? she told me, grinning. ?Although I thank you for the complement.?
?Oh, if you can hear me, then very cute friend.?
She laughed, and looked at Beefy, ?I like him.?
?So do I,? I answered, ?it's why I keep me around.?
She giggled, and we exchanged numbers. ?Well, you kids are fun to chatter with, but I promised myself I'd actually cook at least once a week so I don't get rusty. Since I'm already planning to cook more than I could eat, do you want to join us for dinner, Anonymoushe??
?Call me Tess.? She said, ?And sure, I'd love to join you for dinner.?
Beefy perked, ?Oh yay, we get Moushe for dinner??
?Yep. We get a Tickles over for dinner.?
?Tickles?? They asked, in eerie quasi-unison.
?New nickname,? I answered, smiling, ?I need to do some shopping. Beefy, Tickles, see you guys tonight at, say... 6 PM??
She beamed, ?Sure!?
Now, I said to myself, leaving the cafe, dinner party time. To the shops!
