The Big Picture: Schlocktober 2014: Dragon Wars: D-War

Ihateregistering1

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Oh man, I totally forgot about this movie, and with good reason. As people already mentioned, it somehow manages to be both batshit insane AND really, really boring at the same time, which is not something that is easy to do.

This is one of those unfortunate movies that isn't 'so bad it's good', it's just bad in a non-entertaining way.
 

Mr. Q

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Kmadden2004 said:
Yeah, i saw this one already. It struck me very much as one of those "movies set in America but made by someone who clearly has little knowledge or understanding of how America actually works" movies.

And the funniest part for me has to be the moment when, as he's watching a giant, mythical dragon constrict around that building, a cop picks up his radio and shouts "We've got a Code Five!!!"

Lord knows what a "Code Six" would be for the LAPD...
Wait, the LAPD have a code for that!?

To paraphrase a quote from the John Woo directed movie Broken Arrow "I don't know what's scarier, a giant, mythical dragon constricting around a building, or that it happens so often there's actually a code for it."

OK, Bob. You definitely got my attention on this forgotten film.
 

webkilla

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I've seen this movie. It is stupidly awesome once the final third's action sequences...

Because apache helicopters VS dragons = the best kind of don't-think-too-deeply-about-it awesome action until Pacific Rim came out.
 

KazeAizen

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Scarim Coral said:
Wait? Does that film really count as a Halloween sort of movie? It just look an awful fantasy war like film to me.
Eh. Just general horror and/or giant monster movies I think fit his bill for this show. So this counts.
 

JCAll

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Man I was hyped for this when it first came out, and I've never managed to sit through the whole thing.
 

Methodia Chicken

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The old lady and the fence and The "get hit by a car, get your sword stolen, switch off sword, taser hand, get hit by another car" scenes!

You spoiled all the best bits bob!
 

MetalMagpie

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Kmadden2004 said:
Yeah, i saw this one already. It struck me very much as one of those "movies set in America but made by someone who clearly has little knowledge or understanding of how America actually works" movies.
I've always thought of those sorts of films as revenge for all the films Hollywood sets in other countries without understanding how they actually work. ;)

Having lived here all my life, I often find Hollywood depictions of London quite jarring (all major landmarks within twenty feet of each other, random policemen pulling out guns, etc.). Although the funniest not-England I've ever come across is in the anime Hellsing.
 

immortalfrieza

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Typical monster movie. The viewers waits through an hour and a half or so of dialog and exposition just to get to the part we actually wanted to see, the monsters destroying stuff. Apparently it's impossible to just have 20 minutes of exposition and then 2 hours of monsters destroying stuff.
 

Not G. Ivingname

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Kmadden2004 said:
Yeah, i saw this one already. It struck me very much as one of those "movies set in America but made by someone who clearly has little knowledge or understanding of how America actually works" movies.

And the funniest part for me has to be the moment when, as he's watching a giant, mythical dragon constrict around that building, a cop picks up his radio and shouts "We've got a Code Five!!!"

Lord knows what a "Code Six" would be for the LAPD...
According to Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_Angeles_Police_Department_resources

"Code 5: Stakeout, marked police cars must avoid location."

"Code 6: unit has arrived to location, officers investigating"

As far as I can tell, the LAPD doesn't have codes for "Dragon is constricting a building."
 

Jacked Assassin

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I can't believe Thor ripped off Dragon Wars joke about being hit by a car. Despite that though I still didn't enjoy Dragon Wars when it was in theaters. If only they scrapped the whole female sacrifice plot Dragon Wars might've been better.
 

gamegod25

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Saw Film Brain review it a few years ago and even have a copy myself! (a local rental store was going out of business and it was one of a huge stack of movies I snapped up for cheap)

It's not terrible but it is really boring and more than a little silly for most of the film till near the end when those battle scenes finally happen.
 

The Rogue Wolf

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I'm in complete agreement with Bob here. The city battle between human armed forces and the mystical army is one of the most awesome fights in recent movie history- hell, it manages to be more coherent and exciting than the first Transformers movie (the only one I bothered watching) or Terminator: Salvation. My only complaint is that it kinda ends up a curb-stomp battle because "lol, magic armor" > 5.56mm NATO and tank shells.

Unfortunately the movie expects us to sit through a veritable truckload of slow-paced exposition and terribly-done "suspense" to get there. And if you happen to get your hands on this movie, honestly you'll be better of if you just skip right to the battle. You'll be missing out on very little.

Not G. Ivingname said:
As far as I can tell, the LAPD doesn't have codes for "Dragon is constricting a building."
Well, they freaking should!
 

Darth_Payn

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Good to hear the action scenes make up for the weird story and almost nonexistent continuity, and the title delivers on its promise to have DRAGONS FIGHT EACH OTHER! But where the deuce was the "good" dragon through most of the movie?
 

Deimir

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This is one of those that's been on my radar since it came out but I just never got around to watching...
 

Conan_Edogawa

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I actually bought this on DvD just because of the title (I would buy anything that implied a lot of dragons fighting it out. Dragons are awesome), and I enjoyed the movie. it wasn't amazing, but I had my fun with it.
 

Skatologist

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Watched it in a Spanish class i high school, yeah, it's really good schlock IMO. I kind of liked the stupidity of the jokes and situations too, but I don't think I analyzed or liked it as much as Bob.
 

Cowabungaa

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Make South Korean cinema big internationally? As in the thing that Chan-wook Park actually did manage to do? And how too, good god that man is a good director.