The Big Picture: Worst Movies of 2012

[willgreg123]

I personally liked Les Miserable, but the key word is 'liked' and I will say I was squirming in my seat from the length of it, which isn't because I can't sit for 3 hours, it just didn't keep my attention as well as it could've... to be fair the theater had horrible seats.

That being said, I had a good friend of mine who graduated from a music collage there with me, and he had problems with the singers who where acting more than singing, which wouldn't bother me so that got a free pass... though Crow sing-talking was annoying at times, I still didn't mind him as much as I should have because I liked the character.

But the one thing that really got to me was the HUGE leaps of time in the story. We just met the little girl, Cosette, long enough to get a feel for her, then suddenly, BOOM she's 16... well now she's a whole other person! I no longer have any connection to her.

That and Jean Valjean suddenly being the mayor out of nowhere, that just struck me as odd in retrospect, didn't bug me at the time but after a day of thinking about the movie, I realized how odd that was. Also, NO explaining of the revolution, and some parts just lost me as to why people where being treated poorly or favored, or why people where angry. Granted, that just makes me ignorant and uneducated, but still, just a little information would've been nice.

The music is what made me stick around for the whole movie, and the visuals where impressive at times, but also some confusing editing at other times, like "Master of the house" was fantastic, but it had so much stuff going on and no chance to appreciate it, I was pretty confused at times as to what was happening.

...I swear I still like this movie, but my point is, this stuff gets a free pass with the mainstream audience, like me, because we don't really know better and this only all sank in after I had a day to really take in the movie, I'd never be able to critically look at a movie and write a review for it in under 3 hours.

That's why you're in the big boy chair and we just get to soak you in, Movie Bob. So yeah, dissapointed it's on the list, but I can understand why.

 

[TheVampwizimp_v1legacy]

Shit, why is everyone so upset about "After Earth?" I like Will Smith; in fact, who doesn't? And the trailer looked interesting to me, with a possibly cool concept if it's done thoughtfully. Where is the hatred coming from? Just because M. Night is making it? Remember, folks, that once upon a time he knew how to make a good movie. I'm just confused about the negativity here.

 

[Tumedus]

Now, not to get into fallacies here, but as a legitimate question what do you consider a good superhero movie script? Because to me, they are almost all equally terrible yet enjoyable (unless you get really bad stuff like the Fantastic Four, X-Men 3, and Wolverine)

Truly "good" superhero scripts are actually quite rare, as you suggest. The best ones are usually the ones that try and keep it pretty simple (e.g. Superman II, Avengers, Blade, etc.) and is part of why I think they keep going back to origin stories . The problem here is that, to me, ASM's script is every bit as bad as those others you listed. In terms of script alone, I actually wouldn't put FF on that list, as that movie's problems stemmed from a lot of other sources, but ASM shares the same horrible characterization and poor internal logic as those other two.

I mean this is the first Spider-Man I have ever seen where I actively disliked the character. And the end scene, with the "Those are the best kind" (promises you can't keep) just made him come across as the biggest fucking douche to have ever existed. On top of that, most of the scenarios presented in the film were so amazingly contrived if not purely ridiculous (e.g. what was the web in the sewer really supposed to accomplish? The writers couldn't even figure it out apparently because they had to use another device, the legion of geckos, to move the scene along).

As for what I need out of my superhero movie script, I actually don't ask for all that much. I want it to justice to the character(s) and the feel. Then just maintain some internal logic and make the characters respond to situations like a plausible human that had 2 brain cells firing at the same time might. Finally keep the pacing reasonable (this is one category where ASM actually worked).

Again,I didn't think the movie was horrible. It was an easy film to turn your brain off and watch the pretty special effects and Emma Stones (better as a redhead, though) and just let it go. But in terms of story and dialog, it was really bad.

And seriously, what was up with the fish? They spent like 15 minutes setting up some sort of inside joke that seemingly went nowhere. But thankfully all the characters got so say "Branzino" a few times.

 

[Jinjer]

Kinda surprised Twilight didn't make it on there.

I have seen exactly 0 of the movies on this list, pretty much thanks to you Bob - thanks!

Bob liked the last Twilight movie.

I'm actually pretty sure he said he liked it on a So Bad It's Good level, up until the cop-out ending which rendered the third act moot.

 

[mikespoff]

If I were making this list, Dark Knight Rises would have landed in the top 3 somewhere. I haven't seen the new Les Mis though, so I'll take your word for it Bob.

No, don't take his word for it.

See, this is actually a really handy list for judging how a given critic's personal tastes stack up against your own. You thought that DKR was terrible, Bob loved it enough to put it in his top 10 best films. Now Bob says he hates Les Mis, and you're going to take his opinion as a recommendation for what you will enjoy? Just take it as a comment from one other person.

I personally loved Les Mis, and think that anyone who is not moved by the film has no soul. But that's just my perspective.

 

[gorfias]

About Jarvet: Symbolism. Jarvert is supposed to represent Val Jean's past, something inescapable and unforgettable.

Yeah, there are things about the movie itself that are problematic for me, and I'm not surprised by Bob wanting to pick up on that: but he finds fault with the story itself! A new low for Bob in my opinion.

For what it's worth, my wife sobbed throughout. She wasn't a fan of the material, but now, literally cannot talk about it as she gets vaklempt.

My quibbles: yes, too many close ups. I can deal with that better than the choice to have the actors emote their songs rather than belt them out stage style. I can understand why. One can view the broadway style on youtube. For instance,
so, this had to be different.

But this was an unusual, powerful experience. Russel Crowe surprised me. I thought, all things given, he was very good. The visuals, when they weren't just close ups, were stunning.

I think this is the kind of movie that should be supported and that everyone should go just to experience this very powerful movie, and tell the biz, through ticket sales, that we want more like this. (The awesome but ludicrous Miss Saigon next?)

 

[jklinders]

Les Miserables at third place feels a little like "Hey! Look at my loud and controversial opinion!". I haven't seen it, and I don't think I'm going to since it doesn't look like my kind of movie, but I have a hard time imagining one of the top Best Picture contenders really being an overall worse movie than the latest American Pie, regardless of how much you think people are over hyping it.

I feel that's a problem I have with criticism on the Internet in general. Too many times I get the feeling critics exaggerate how bad something is simply because it either gives them more attention or makes for a much more interesting review. Using hyperbole gets the point across and I'm not gonna lie, there is more entertainment value in seeing something being ripped to shreds rather than receiving a simple "not all that great", but I think it damages the credibility of the critic in the long run.

I'm not gonna tell anyone what to think, and if you really found Les Miserables worse than both The Expendables 2 and Alex Cross, then it would be wrong to conform to what other people think. Just don't be careless with how you hand out ratings as harsh as "third worst movie of the year".

A thousand times this. It's Bob's list, but I think he threw it on there more for shock value than anything else. He called it worse than Battleship for fuck's sake. I'd be interested in a longer hand opinion that involved something other than "Russel Crowe's singing sucks" to show me why it needs to be number 3. So does his acting but that didn't make the movie worse than a lot of the sludge that came out last year, including a completely unneeded waste of celluloid piece like the American Pie sequel.

For the record I did see it. It wasn't perfect but it was a damn fine combination of acting and performance. Russel Crowe was the worst of it. it ran a little long but the book was a freaking door stopper so that's OK.

 

[AnneSQF]

I have avoided all these movies gracefully through this year. Sadly I also avoided a fair bunch of the good ones. Whoops...

About Les Miserable: ""Is Javert the only police officer in Paris?". HA! That's what I'm thinking every time I hear it. And Cosette and Marius is horrible characters indeed.
I haven't seen it because it won't shown here (in Denmark) until March, but I'm still hyped for it. A lot of my (luckier, foreign) friends have praised it so I'm optimistic.
But I do dread how they decided to balance the acting/singing. Musicals shouldn't be pitch perfect if the characters have personalities, and (not all, but some of) this musical's characters are really good.

 

[xPixelatedx]

I actually think SpiderMan was pretty good.
The only thing I really hated in it was how they made Lizard.
Electro is a really unkown villain for me thou...

I entierly agree. It wasn't fantastic, and it did lack some of the emotional appeal of the first movie franchise (well, the first 2) but it was one of the only movies I enjoyed of 2012. You know Bob HATED this movie before he even saw it, so I am not surprised it ended up here. XD Surprise, surprise the movie he liked the most before he saw it also made it to #1 on his list of best movies.

 

[twesterm]

Boo on hating Les Miserables.

Ignoring Russell Crowe, it was pretty great. Even Amanda Seigfried (who's name I cannot spell -_-) who wasn't good, wasn't really bad and at least Cossette isn't that interesting so she really didn't bring it down. I didn't even mind that High Jackman couldn't really hit all the notes in Bring Him Home (since most guys can't), he was still pretty amazing. Ignoring those two, everyone else delivered pretty amazing performances and it's really hard to hear your criticisms on the show after it's been a broadway classic for how long?

I will say though, I want to hurt that person, that executive that things they need some male lead who has no reason being in a musical in every broadway musical turned to movie. Gerard Butler, Pierce Brosnan, Richard Gere, and now Russell Crowe. This would have been a near-perfect movie if it hadn't been for Russell Crowe's terrible performance. Even ignoring the fact he can't sing he still did an all-around bad job.

Just feels like one of those hey let's rile people up! picks. I guess it worked?

-edit-

And I knew you were going to put this movie on this list because of your too damn long comment earlier this month.

-edit #2-

Also doesn't Bob generally not like musicals anyways?

 

[Jabbawocky]

Oh, hi all, I didn't see you there.

I was just here, adding to the chorus reminding Bob that Amazing Spider-Man is actually pretty good and that he unapologetically praised trailers of the upcoming Superman reboot for the same reasons he panned ASM both before and after it released (namely making a reboot of a 5 year old franchise turning a bright, colourful superhero into a derivative, Batman Begins-infused "gritty" movie), despite ASM being strongly adapted from Ultimate Spider-Man books that predate Batman Begins by half a decade.

Have a nice year, everyone.


You know, I don't much care that Bob disliked the film, I disagree with him on many other counts, too. I mostly dislike that he doesn't seem to acknowledge how much he is in the minority there or how many of us quietly and respectfully have been disagreeing with him. I mean, hearing him you'd think ASM was universally panned in the way Battleship was, which it wasn't, or that the viewers and critics that liked it are lowest-common-denominator idiots that can't articulate why they liked it, which we aren't.

I happen to think ASM is well acted, that Garfield works really well as an updated Peter without harming Maguire's portrayal of the Silver Age-like version. I also felt that framing his angst as less the result of bullying and more of a missing father figure thing is a closer match for the character's core themes that also helps avoid the jarring disconnect of the Spidey and Peter storylines in all of the Raimi movies. And man, Emma Stone's Gwen is such a great character for a superhero movie, never descending into being the damsel in distress (she actually saves *herself* and a bunch of other people the one time she's in danger) and remaining clever and resourceful without having to be depicted as a tough gal action hero.

On the other hand, the only defence of The Expendables 2 I've heard from anybody has been "it's all the cool action heroes together, what's not to like?", so... maybe I haven't been listening hard enough?

That what grates me about Bob's opinion too, its that he treats it like fact rather than an opinion. If he wants to dislike it then thats fine but every time he goes into a rant all I ever get the impression is that he is butthurt that he never got Raimi's fourth movie or that Spidey will spend another 5 years outside of the Marvel Stuidos movies.

 

[Legion]

I haven't seen any of those movies. Probably for the best.

Either have I. Although to be honest, this list hasn't changed my opinions in any real shape or form as I never had much interest in seeing them in the first place.

What a (non)surprise, ASM is on this list. Show of hands, how many here expected Bob to throw it on here as yet another jab to this movie?

Oh, who would have guess, That Spiderman would be on the list. It ain't like you have ***** about it for a whole fucking year.

Are you suggesting that he shouldn't put a film he believes to be terrible in his top ten worst movies list, simply because he has repeatedly mentioned it before?

 

[daibakuha]

That what grates me about Bob's opinion too, its that he treats it like fact rather than an opinion. If he wants to dislike it then thats fine but every time he goes into a rant all I ever get the impression is that he is butthurt that he never got Raimi's fourth movie or that Spidey will spend another 5 years outside of the Marvel Stuidos movies.

Honestly, a lot of us comic nerds have a soft spot for Spidey. To see his films only go in a worse direction than would have gone if Marvel was allowed to make them is more than a little frustrating.

What's even worse is that ASM has an amazing cast, that's completely misused by it's shitty director and terrible script.

 

[Paradoxrifts]

If he really didn't like the movie, he's allowed to ***** about it as much as he wants. I really liked The Dark Knight Rises, and I was disappointed that he didn't like it, but I'm not going to get my tits in a twist because he's vocal about it.

The Amazing Spider Man could've been the second coming of a chocolate dipped cocaine-dusted Jesus and MovieBob's review of the movie would have told us that the chocolate would make us fat, the cocaine would make us impotent and paranoid, and that where was Jesus whenever a priest molested a child. And the same can be said of his stance on Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy, and presumably the same stance will be taken if Man Of Steel doesn't measure up to what MovieBob wants to see in a Superman movie regardless of whether it is decent or even good film in it's own right.

I'm tired of him jamming his opinion down my throat that now that 'The Avengers' has arrived, every single movie now has drop everything, stop whatever the fuck they were doing and reverentially treat it as some sort of mythic Urtext handed down from up above from some higher divine power.

 

[daibakuha]

What a (non)surprise, ASM is on this list. Show of hands, how many here expected Bob to throw it on here as yet another jab to this movie?



Exactly, it's like Bob can't mention superhero movies or bad movies in general without whining about ASM anymore, he complains about it every opportunity he can find when it's even slightly justifiable, far more than he has ever complained about FAR worse movies. It's almost like Bob knows ASM is good but he's in massive denial of that fact and is trying incredibly hard to convince everyone else and himself that's it's bad despite knowing full well it's not.

The worst part is how his criticisms of ASM are not just wrong in the opinionated sense, but factually as well. He complains about how far from the comics the movie, characters, plot, tone etc. are, when in fact the opposite is true, ASM is probably the movie closest to the comics (it's sort of a mix between Amazing Spider-Man and Ultimate Spider-Man in terms of that) to be made yet. The characters act similar to their comics counterparts, the humor that Spidey is known for is pretty frequent, while that was almost nonexistant in the Raimi movies, the villain actually acts like the Lizard instead of being some guy who isn't even remotely like the comic version like the Raimi villains were, and the female lead actually DOES something instead of being whiny for no reason and just being there for the villain to kidnap like they usually are in Superhero movies. As for the cast, most all of them look and act like the characters they are playing effectively.

That, and not to mention that without ASM we wouldn't have gotten one of the best Spider-Man video games ever made, that alone justifies the movie's existance.

Couple of points, Bob is not the only critic to hate this movie.

Second, it uses some of the comic storylines, changes them around a bit and then doesn't stick the landing.

Third, just because it uses some elements from comics, doesn't make it a good film.

Fourth, the ASM video game is garbage, it's a worse version of Arkham City and it doesn't even get webslinging right. Something perfected in the best Spiderman game ever: Spiderman 2.

 

[TheSchaef]

And Russell Crowe CAN sing Broadway style which is why he did do a good job as the Javert with that deep voice of his.

No. He pretty much can't. And I think you and I differ on what constitutes a deep voice. Michael Dorn has a deep voice. Russell Crowe has a gruff voice, which works fine when you're playing a battle-hardened tough guy, but not so well when you're trying to fill up a theater with a bold, round tone.

You know, like this guy [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urxk4mveLCw].

I'm tougher on him in this role than most, because I'm kind of a "Javert snob" since he's my favorite character in the musical, but you put him next to Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway and it only makes it stand out how outclassed he was in the vocal department.

Anyway, this clearly is a movie for fans of the musical, and putting it on the list is a bit harsh. I thought some of the decisions they made for the film were interesting, like using Lamarque's funeral procession as the set piece for When Tomorrow Comes. But even that is probably just a comparison to other renditions of the musical, and while I appreciate the effort to emphasize the historical context of the uprisings, I'm also looking at a crowd that attended and/or purchased the DVD of an event where the actors just stand at microphones in costume and sing the songs to thunderous applause.

 

[Baresark]

And Russell Crowe CAN sing Broadway style which is why he did do a good job as the Javert with that deep voice of his.

No. He pretty much can't. And I think you and I differ on what constitutes a deep voice. Michael Dorn has a deep voice. Russell Crowe has a gruff voice, which works fine when you're playing a battle-hardened tough guy, but not so well when you're trying to fill up a theater with a bold, round tone.

You know, like this guy [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urxk4mveLCw].

I'm tougher on him in this role than most, because I'm kind of a "Javert snob" since he's my favorite character in the musical, but you put him next to Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway and it only makes it stand out how outclassed he was in the vocal department.

Anyway, this clearly is a movie for fans of the musical, and putting it on the list is a bit harsh. I thought some of the decisions they made for the film were interesting, like using Lamarque's funeral procession as the set piece for When Tomorrow Comes. But even that is probably just a comparison to other renditions of the musical, and while I appreciate the effort to emphasize the historical context of the uprisings, I'm also looking at a crowd that attended and/or purchased the DVD of an event where the actors just stand at microphones in costume and sing the songs to thunderous applause.

Haha, I think you're playing dirty when putting him next to Philip Quast. But, I can see you're point. You are right, it is more gruff than deep. I liked Crowe's performance so much I think because the way it is framed it's very personal. The upside to the movie production is that the actors played the production as actors and not necessarily great singers, though there were some great singers in there.

I'm also willing to bet that it's an actor who chose Lamarque's funeral procession. The actors sing the parts how they feel the scene should go and it was scored afterwards to the music fit the singing. An interesting way of doing things, no doubt about that.

 

[twesterm]

And Russell Crowe CAN sing Broadway style which is why he did do a good job as the Javert with that deep voice of his.

No. He pretty much can't. And I think you and I differ on what constitutes a deep voice. Michael Dorn has a deep voice. Russell Crowe has a gruff voice, which works fine when you're playing a battle-hardened tough guy, but not so well when you're trying to fill up a theater with a bold, round tone.

You know, like this guy [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urxk4mveLCw].

I'm tougher on him in this role than most, because I'm kind of a "Javert snob" since he's my favorite character in the musical, but you put him next to Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway and it only makes it stand out how outclassed he was in the vocal department.

Anyway, this clearly is a movie for fans of the musical, and putting it on the list is a bit harsh. I thought some of the decisions they made for the film were interesting, like using Lamarque's funeral procession as the set piece for When Tomorrow Comes. But even that is probably just a comparison to other renditions of the musical, and while I appreciate the effort to emphasize the historical context of the uprisings, I'm also looking at a crowd that attended and/or purchased the DVD of an event where the actors just stand at microphones in costume and sing the songs to thunderous applause.

I'm only replying to this comment because I don't want to dig through the thread to find Baresark's, but people actually think Russell Crowe did well?

He was so easily the worst part of the movie and wasn't suited in any way at all for the role. He can't sing and he totally missed the mark on making Javert what he was supposed to be. I said it before, but it just *really* annoys me that any time there's a broadway show turned movie, some moron has the bright idea to cast some random guy who cannot sing in one of the major parts.

Do they really thing the ladies are going to go to Les Miserables because Russell Crowe in it?

It's just so upsetting because everyone else did so amazingly well (well, minus Amanda Seyfried, but that's just a personal dislike of her voice). The director did have that weird love for zooming in and doing nothing else on peoples faces as they sang, but I'm fine with that. I'm even find with not having Eponine sing in the epilogue even though that's one of my favorite parts or Hugh Jackman not hitting all the notes in Bring Him Home, it's just, ugh, Russell Crowe was just completely wrong for that part.

 

[TheSchaef]

I liked Crowe's performance so much I think because the way it is framed it's very personal.

I could probably see that if they played it like the recent Phantom adaptation, where they cast a bunch of classically-trained singers, and then deliberately cast the Phantom without that training to create an unrefined, edgy feel to him. But everybody was talking about, dude, check it out, Russell Crowe can, like, sing and stuff. And all I could think was that he seemed to spend the entire film in his "head voice", and never got under anything to give it real depth. I am dissapoint.

I'm also willing to bet that it's an actor who chose Lamarque's funeral procession.

And I'm willing to bet that hiring dozens of actors to line the streets and constructing the giant black carriage to serve as the hearse, means that this scene was planned well in advance of any opportunity the actors had to embellish their lines.

 

[BakedZnake]

Personally thought Dark Knight Rises was just as bad as ASM.