The cake game

[Doc Gnosis]

I lend a call to the Floaters from Cydonia to invade the earth - and establish the importance of X-COM while I'm at it... Oh and have them take the cake too.

I make a secret pact with the aliens to recieve the cake in exchange for Surinam.

 

[Vesuvius Hetlan]

But I stage a coup de grace in Surinam, fighting off the aliens and forcing them to bow down to my will and taking their prized cake as my own!

 

[M0rp43vs]

I ask for it politely, making heavy use of puppy dog eyes

 

[Nouw]

I open a warp-gate which has access to everysingle goddamn demon, heretic, and traitor to get the cake.

I surround myself with them and fly into the warp-gate. SEE YOU IN THE EYE OF TERROR!

 

[NerfedFalcon]

I use a portal gun on your warp-gate's destination, put the other one in the basement of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, wait for Flandre to clean the lot of you out, place the portal near her next to me and grab the cake. Even she's not insane enough to destroy cake.

 

[StormShaun]

I will kick Leet square in the groin and steal his portal gun and create a portal above him and below him, infinite portal...bwhaha, then I steal the cake from his hands while he is dissy and then take a taxi to the airport and board my private jet...and Im about to have a slice when...

 

[Dumbfish1]

... it turns out that I was your chair in disguise all along. I inject you with Sulphuric acid while you're distracted with the cake, and grab it when you collapse to the floor in agony. Then, while everyone on the jet is still confused, I shoot out the window and jump out into the sky with the cake and the last paracute. I laugh as I watch the plane crash down in smoke while I drift slowly towards the ground, when...

 

[Eumersian]

?it becomes pitch black. You are eaten by a Grue, except the Grue doesn't like cake. So it decides to give me the cake, because I have previously made friends with Gruekind after I taught them how to fashion spears out of sticks and sharp stone.

The cake shall be all mine.

 

[Emperor Inferno]

I place you in a maze that you have to use portal projectors to get through.

The cake, as it turns out, is not a lie, and I steal it as you're stuck on the second to last level.

My cake.

 

[Eumersian]

I rage like IdrA playing a Korean and get into my spaceship of doom. I use it to find you, and the the spaceship dooms you with its doom ray. The doom ray causes your doom, which is pretty messy and needs no further explanation. Fortunately, the cake is safe from the doom, and I go down and get it, after turning off the doom ray of course.

Sure looks mighty tasty!

 

[Vesuvius Hetlan]

I engage your spaceship of doom with my Flagship, The Fall of Heresy, After an intense ship to ship engagement, I lead my elite troops on a boarding action, stealing the cake and rigging the ship to detonate.

I celebrate by having a feast with the cake as my guest of honour.

 

[Emperor Inferno]

The guest doesn't feel sufficiently honored, and gets pissed. I whisper in the cake, your guest of honor's ear, convincing it to storm out. I meet it outside and give it a ride home.

The cake invites me inside for some hot coffee.
[sup]Yay, hot coffee. And hot cake.....[/sup]