The cake game
- Thread starter Dumbfish1
- Start date
I jack your XBox and play Portal and beat all the levels. I discover that the cake is a lie.
There. There is no cake.
Game. Fucking. OVER.
There. There is no cake.
Game. Fucking. OVER.
I hack the fabric of existence and rearange the position of that moon putting its postion closer to me so I can steal it.
I then hide it in an alternate universe.
I then hide it in an alternate universe.
I frighten the Eye of Terror, causing it to shut. It can't see me, so I can stab it. After I do so, I dig around in the Eye and find the cake.
I proceed to hide it in that shirt you never wear in your closet.
I proceed to hide it in that shirt you never wear in your closet.
I travel back in time to when you placed the cake inside that hideous shirt I never wear, at which point I leap out and crack you over the head with a rolling pin. I then take my cake back in time to the age of the dinosaurs, lasso me a T-Rex and ride off into the sunset.
I turn off the gravity, now you're REALLY going into the sunset.
I turn the gravity back on right after you escape the gravity well, but right before the cake does. It falls back to Earth and I catch it.
I throw the cake between two homeless guys, who proceed to fight over it.
[sup]try breakin up that one, *****[/sup]
I turn the gravity back on right after you escape the gravity well, but right before the cake does. It falls back to Earth and I catch it.
I throw the cake between two homeless guys, who proceed to fight over it.
[sup]try breakin up that one, *****[/sup]
Take the spork under my wing, and guide him during his adolescent transformation into a fully-fledged adult spoon.
I then steal the cake from Thor, using nothing but my large collection of toothpicks, some cotton wool, a lacky band and fifteen tubes of superglue. Oh, and a shotgun too.
I then steal the cake from Thor, using nothing but my large collection of toothpicks, some cotton wool, a lacky band and fifteen tubes of superglue. Oh, and a shotgun too.
i activate my latest invention, the cake magnet,a giant magnet designed to attract not metal, but cake. Not only only do i get the cake, i get every cake ever, because my magnet can pull through time! if any cake ever, existed, exists, or will exist, i currently have it. I then set up a cake shop, since i have a monopoly on cake, as i own every cake ever, and i can have my cake and sell it too.
i punch you in the gut until you throw up the cake. Now the cake is vomit, so i hide it in the toilet and flush it into the sewer. Ech!
Being a rational, sane, and overall centered person, my plan to take the cake was obvious, simple, and sane.
What this means, naturally, was stealing a Bugatti Veyron, flooring it, then turning and ejecting at maximum speed in the direction of the target whilst on an oversized cyborg wolverine with wheels that are on fire. I then notice that the smoke bomb I earlier tossed has landed, and in the confusion... Well, it's hard to defend against a wolverine coming at you at 253 miles an hour. I then turn around and head back to the Veyron, which is still going. I hop back in and drive off.
This cake is delicious.
What this means, naturally, was stealing a Bugatti Veyron, flooring it, then turning and ejecting at maximum speed in the direction of the target whilst on an oversized cyborg wolverine with wheels that are on fire. I then notice that the smoke bomb I earlier tossed has landed, and in the confusion... Well, it's hard to defend against a wolverine coming at you at 253 miles an hour. I then turn around and head back to the Veyron, which is still going. I hop back in and drive off.
This cake is delicious.