The Cookie knows all

[The Maddest March Hare]

"Your cake was a lie"

 

[DigitalSushi]

I love fortune cookies, the english is worse than mine. I once got
"You must try to stay position!"

I think it was meant to say "positive".

 

[hopeneverdies]

Your presence will only bring pain and suffering to those around you.

It was a pretty crap day after I read that.

 

[ZeroMachine]

"Look! A secret message from your teeth!"

Not even joking.

 

[iron codpiece]

"your lucky numbers are... 3, 17, 33, 56, and 85"

 

[walls of cetepedes]

I just got a blank piece of paper.

 

[Souplex]

Next time try the shrimp.

 

[DigitalSushi]

I just got a blank piece of paper.

did you turn it over to double check? or was the blank message enough to turn the rest of your day to shit?

 

[walls of cetepedes]

I just got a blank piece of paper.

did you turn it over to double check? or was the blank message enough to turn the rest of your day to shit?

Well yeah I turned it over. Blank too. I was worried for the rest of the day. Did it mean I'm going to go blind or something?

 

[SamuelT]

"You paid extra for this."

For real. I laughed when I read that.

 

[Clarkarius]

<Error could not find file: Fortune18589>

EDIT: Oh sorry is this not a joke thread. In that case, i've got nothing I have not had a fortune cookie for years...

 

[Kilaknux]

"There is a SWAT team outside waiting for you. Order more food to stall"

 

[XJ-0461]

"Error 403: this cookie's message is too good for you."

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

I'm more a pie man myself but that is probably like being blasphemous on this topic as it is a cookie thread not a pie thread

 

[JJDWilson]

All your base are belong to us.

 

[Bofus Teefus]

"Do, or do not. There is no try."

A friend got this one. I wanted to slay him for it, but I managed to restrain myself.

 

[Sigel]

I always add "in bed" to the end of my fortune cookies. It makes me love them even more.

 

[Jinx_Dragon]

I didn't get it personally, but a friend did and he kept it (and a few others):

Your fortune is in another cookie.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

"You're going to score with that waitress.
Your lucky numbers are 2,3,8, and 69."

 

[Metric Monkey]

"Tastes like chicken" what the hell is that supposed to mean?