The Customer Is Always Wrong

[oobee]

I work in a shop that sells shower doors. We have them on display as well. One of them is a single transparent piece of glass and I enjoy opening it so that idiot customers walk straight into it(this actually works and is hilarious when it happens). Actually one time I saw my manager holding clipboard and phone and stuff power walk straight into it she dropped everything and the door bounced back in her face.

 

[WhiteFangofWhoa]

Great stuff. Some of these are actually more idiotic than anything I can remember encountering after 3 years at Wendy's drive-through. Though I certainly have more quantity than quality stories, there are a few that have stuck with me, particularly after a Beer Store opened up right next to us:

1- Didn't happen to me directly, just overheard: A coworker is explaining to someone at the second window that we no longer carry nachos & cheese dip. We haven't for almost a year at that point. The man keeps trying but eventually settles on: 'I am going to ruin your life'. His exact words. We haven't heard from him since.

2- Like many restaurants, we do secret customers to gage quality service. I even had one congratulate me for a good job once. But about a month ago I had someone show up 10 minutes to closing asking for 3 chicken combos. It takes five minutes, and afterwards he complains to my manager that the chicken took way too long, that he is a secret shopper, and that we will be getting a terrible score.

3- Similar situation as 2, someone gets a craving for 3-5 chicken burgers at night, around 9:50. We didn't have any ready so it took a few minutes. Just after 10 the man is back at my speaker, punctuating every second word with furious bleepables. The Beer Store next door closes at 10, and because we took so long he couldn't get there in time. I was lucky enough to have the same manager who dealt with number 2 running things- he forgave me for eventually tuning him out. Chicken and beer, dinner of champions.

4- Me: Hello there, what can we get you today?
Extremely Young-Sounding Woman: Junior Bacon Cheeseburger.
Me: Okay, would you like that as a combo?
EYSW: Junior Bacon Cheeseburger.
Me: Would you like anything else today?
EYSW: JUNIOR BACON CHEESEBURGER! (Drives off, actually CRYING)

Plenty of others but those are the cream of the crop. It's also frustrating when a customer fails to understand that we give the food out at the second window, as we have been doing for over a decade. Maybe if you've never been there before I'd understand, but 1/3 of the drive-thru people are like this.

 

[Flux07]

One day a lady walks in to a pub and asks for a roast dinner.
1 minute later she complains and says that her mash is not fresh.
Then the chef comes out... he says to her that she can't have fresh mash.
(this is because at the beginning of the day they have to make a big batch but to keep it moist, adds milk.)
She explains her problem again and in an annoying voice.
Then the chef "politely" explains that in order to give her "fresh" mash she should have to wait 2 hours for the potatoes to cook in order for it to be fresh.
Which begs the question... what is "fresh" mash?

 

[HydraZulu]

Did someone resurrect this just to have it win an Ultra?

Xhumed?

In any case, i was fired from a dinky little cafe for screaming right back at a little shit taking the piss out of me a while back...

... people need to learn to control their children...

This year at the Renaissance, I was sitting at the fence with the rest of our society (see back a few pages if you wanna know what I do there), and this lady comes up with a kid in a stroller, and the kid is screaming, really upset about something. One of my friends at the society starts screaming back, and the entire fence (5-8 people) scream with her. The kid was so shocked that he stopped crying, and pulled the canopy down as far as it could go, to hide. We eventually were able to convince him to come back out and see the snakes, and he had a good time, but it was hilarious.

P.S. I know this post was a while ago, but I couldn't resist sharing.

 

[HydraZulu]

I never want to go into a shop ever again. One of you people might be working there and shout at me.

Perhaps the problem is that most of us are stunningly polite most of the time; but then there's 'that' customer...and the eyebrows arch.

I find a lot of people are actually surprised at how polite and helpful we are.

Actually being able to help a customer makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, especially when they express their gratitude. It sometimes makes up for the utter arsewipes that can ruin your day.

Especially if she's cute

I had a patron hitting on me at the Ren Fest. Of course, it was towards the end of the season, so i was too exhausted to even notice. I was just running on autopilot. I never knew, until I turned around after she left, and two of my friends were staring at me with these HUGE smiles. The bad kind of smiles. The kind where you know something just happened. So I asked them what happened, and they told me. I thought it was pretty funny (wish I had realized, i would have loved the face she would have gotten if I would have told her she was hitting on a minor), until they told me they had pictures. Then I just got horrified. I'm going to have to really watch myself from now on, because they have blackmail material.

So the end of this thread should read, "Morons with shitty jobs should not complain about the customers who pay their shitty minnimum wage salary"

All the stories in here are "when I worked at pizza hut/subway/ mcdonalds/some other shit place the customers were dumbfucks" guess what they were smart enough not to work for 5 bucks an hour making pizzas, so who's the stupid one? the person asking the stupid question or the person who has to take orders from the person asking the "stupid question"

All the stuff I've ever posted on here was from jobs that were volunteer. You should really read before you write. It's not even that far back.

Edit: Now that I think about it, to be fair, it's not hard to miss the two posts where I wrote that all my stuff was volunteer, so sorry for snapping at you.

 

[Melaisis]

What followed was one of the funniest things I've seen. To a man, each of those dudes went pale, and they all bolted to their crappy little hatchback. I have never seen four people get into a car quicker than those guys. They tore off, and of course got pulled over and charged for speeding and dangerous driving. To this day that huge cop still gets a discount, because he's always the one the comes and helps us out with problem customers.

Haha! Nice one.

 

[Jolly Madness]

I work at an internet cafe, I serve ciabattas, make coffee and such... One day I was covering for a sick colleague, but she had forgotten to get someone else to help me so i ended up doing the shift all alone. At 8PM I was starting to clean up the kitchen and having it ready, because as said, I was alone and I didn't want to have too much to do before I closed at 9PM.

8.40 there comes a SWARM of people recently headed off from a jazz concert, I counted 25 people, all girls. They of course all wanted coffees and Ciabatta (bread with a bunch of greenies and meat, takes 10-15 minutes to make). At 9PM they give me all the dishes, obviously embarassed over putting all that work on me at closure. So they invite me back to the bar for some more jazz
"Uhm... I really got to clean up here... and isn't there a 18 age restriction on that bar?" -
"Eh... yeah? How does that matter" -
"M'am, I'm 15"
*Lots of gasping*
"Are you serious? Aww... that's too bad"

It was a memorable evening.

 

[ragestreet]

Don't stop now! It was getting really good.

 

[HeyZeus_Ezekiel_Jesus]

I werked in a video store for a few weeks and if you've seen Clerks then that scene where Dante and Randall compare each others customers pretty much sums up ever damn day of that job.

 

[Copter400]

Only today I was working at KFC when someone came in and asked for a bucket. No food. Just a bucket, one of the big gallon ones. She explained to us that she was planning a prank in which she'd place a live chicken in the bucket to surprise someone.

I've also had someone order four boxes of eighteen nuggets and a single Twister, for what it's worth.

Oh, and one crotchety old man, but he wasn't very funny.

 

[Labyrinth]

On the basis that I haven't been able to read through 15 pages before posting, I apologise if this site has already been linked. Enjoy.

http://www.actsofgord.com/

In addition, I am always courteous to restaurant and store workers, mostly because I understand that they don't really want the job, and that it sucks to have bitchy customers. This wears thin when I meet people who are offences to Darwin but I have yet to abuse someone across a counter. I'd hate the job myself.

 

[Haliwali]

Hadn't seen that before.

 

[Labyrinth]

I swear that if I ever open a cafe/restaurant style of thing I will have a sign at the counter reading:

"Dear customer. To us, you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are a customer. One of the many. Trying to convince us otherwise will not lead to special treatment.
Thank you for your co-operation.
Management."

And by the way, this thread gets a Labyrinth Red Star award. Presented in this case for Anti-Idiot material (1st glass) and Awesome.

 

[Lord_Ascendant]

I got one

Just remembered it (My memories are horrid)

I used to work at a local restaurant called The Greenery, friends of mine worked there and got me the job. Just about late November is when it shuts down for the season. Anywho, after locking up the last time for the season one of the last few tourists tries to get in (I know...can't he jsut read the 'Closed' sign) My friend goes up and says "Oh, I'm sorry e are clsoed for the season you just missed us." the person says AND I QUOTE "But I'm hungry."I aughed my ass off while my friend calmly pointed him towards the House of Pizza, which is open ear-round. The guy says again "But I want to eat here." friend just says "Have a nice day." and drags me off before I die laughing. Some tourists are like 4 year olds I swear.

 

[Haliwali]

OK so the store I work at has this Thanksgiving thing Turkey Points. Spend 50 buck in the store, get a point, Get 6 points, have yourself a turkey. Now, we have very specific rule about which turkeys are free, and our scanners can sometimes can be... frustrating. One of the managers end up getting yelled at by some cranky old lady (aren't they the worst.) Apparently this was loud enough to shut the whole store up, no small feat where I work. All this about an hour before my shift.

 

[tijuanatim]

I work at a seafood restaurant. A woman ordered a Platter and insisted on changing out EVERYYTHING. Instead of the fried pollock she wanted fried catfish (More expensive fish). She complained that what she ordered was more expensive than what was posted on the menu so I had to explain that when she substituted more expensive items we had to charge her for them.

But here's the kicker. She bitched me out because she couldn't eat the catfish because it smelled like FISH!!! We then took off the extra charges and even gave her the extra popcorn shrimp she demanded. When all was said and done they left me $2 on a $64 ticket. I hate people.

 

[Incompl te]

God i've managed to spend 2 good hours reading 15 pages of epic. I really want to get a job (only 14) so I can make these idiots feel like idiots. Sadly McDonalds doesn't want me *sniff*.

 

[s0denone]

Earlier today, as a soccer ref, a corner kick went bad. Way, way, way bad. I was standing behind the mass of players and to the opposite side of the corner kick, a good 40 yards away. It flies straight towards my head at what had to be about 40 or 50 MPH, and I wound up pulling a genuine matrix style dodge on the ball, with it grazing the top of my forehead. It flew out of bounds, and I gave the other team a free throw.

Cue whining soccer mom and coach screaming at me for knocking the ball out of play. I told her that I dodged it as best I can and that it barely grazed me, and it was clearly going out of play anyway, and walked away (Refs aren't supposed to stick around to argue, just tell the person why they are wrong, if anything, and leave ASAP). I think everything is fine, this kind of stuff happens all the time. I'm still walking away, blow the whistle for the throw in to start, and then feel my shirt yanked back. The soccer mom turns me around (I still barely knew what was going on at that point) and starts yelling and cursing at me. This was a U12 childrens game, by the way. I had to stop play, tell her "The game can go on without you, ma'am, would you please leave the field?" Which of course, led to more yelling. Eventually her assistant coach had to nearly drag her off the field and out of the park before we could start again.

At least I get paid above minimum wage to put up with that crap. I feel bad for people who deal with that and get paid badly.

A U12 childrens game, yet the ball was kicked 40 or 50MPH? Come on, you liar.

 

[medievalguy]

I worked at a really hellish family restaurant for two years (I still have nightmares about the place) and I had to deal with a bunch of asshats. The odd thing was, sometimes it wasn't the customers who were the worst, it was my boss. He was a really big bald neo nazi kind of guy who would scream his head off at you even if you did everything PERFECTLY. He once got so mad about something happening on the floor, he went in the back and ripped on the 15yr old dish boy and made the poor kid cry. The kid had nothing to do with what was going on outside.

Anyways, this horror story of my starts 5 minutes before a wedding party was coming in. (Oh yeah, this restaurant by the way is a really upper class place, we have to ware gay bow ties and nothing on the menu is under $20) Well the wedding guest had their own candles they delivered earlier for us to light. They were little ones at the bottom of a long glass tube. We couldn't figure out how to get our lighter down in them to light them.

The boss waiter (the asshole) comes down and screams at us. "You F***ing idiots! Take a piece of god damn paper, roll it up, light the tip, and stick it down there! How F***ing hard is that!?!?!?!" So we do just that. I light the tip, point the paper down towards the candle, and what happens? The flame instantly travels up the paper, rushing to my hand! I pull it out and my first instinct is to blow it out, so I don't get burned. I blow it out and ashes go ALL OVER the table cloth, me and the other busser start frantically slapping out the embers, and now the entire table cloth is ruined, and the party is going to be here in 5 minutes.....great idea boss....

The funniest thing was, the guy was sooooo horrible, and I have nightmares about him, but I found out he's scare to death of thunderstorms. He has to go home whenever it gets bad and curl up under a blanket and watch ESPN.....

 

[squirrelbane]

I work in a pharmacy and fair play 99.9% of the customers we have are really nice..But there's always one....
Had a chap walk in who looked like he was from the shallow end of the gene pool (typical chav really), who slapped his prescription down on the front counter and started hurling abuse at us. He was very aggitated and obviously under the influence of some non prescription medication. Anyway after shouting across the counter "I'll be like 5 mins like getting somethin" to eat like" he wanders off leaving us in peace and quiet.
He quickly comes back to the pharmacy with a bottle of perfume (minus food stuff) and in what happens to be the best failiure of shoplifting I have ever seen in my life, promptly puts the perfume bottle down his jacket and walks out of the shop.

It's not like we had a hard time desribing him to the police when they arrived..Just a little hint..If you are planning on shoplifting please dont give us a prescription with your Name, D.o.b, Address and National insurance number on it first.