The death of a bully

[thenumberthirteen]

I know how you feel. A schoolmate of mine died a few years ago in an accident. I didn't like him, and to be honest he was a dick. I feel bad for saying it now. I suppose if he where truly evil then you could safely feel good, but it's tragic for anyone to die so young.

 

[hey_iknowyou]

No, your reaction is perfectly understandable. If somebody that I hate dies, I am happy. My life has improved as a result. Obviously it's sad for others who liked him, but that is not my concern. I don't care how callous this may sound.

Also, just as another point, typically when people get shot there is a good reason for it. This does not necessarily mean they deserved it, but a lot of the time actions could have been taken to have avoided it. (Not all the time obviously)

This guy sounded like a dick and more that likely brought it on himself so why would you feel sorry for him?

 

[Nicolefranklin]

Hmm the last person to make a topic almost exactly like this got permabanned (I remember because I liked that person). Just mentioning it.

Really? How come? If it's okay for me to ask..
I mean, it's not like I, or anyone else is celebrating, happy, or approving of the situation, quite the opposite really?

I think it was more the way they presented it. They were questioning why people cried when someone they hated died, and I suppose their posts were seen as insensitive. Personally I don't think it deserved a ban, but that's just me. I know you haven't said anything ban-worthy, so you needn't worry.

Oh alright, well thank you for bringing it up anyway.

 

[Trivun]

This reminds me of a thread a couple of months back where a girl admitted on this site to being a bully, and she found out that the person she and others mercilessly taunted had gone and committed suicide. The OP of that thread then went on about how she felt no remorse for her own actions and felt that people going to the funeral were hypocrites and idiots. After many of us reported her and informed mods, and called her out on her bitchiness, she was permabanned.

In that case, the entire Escapist community was ranged against her. This thread could not be any more different. I think a lot of people, myself included, will support you here. I was bullied myself at school, and though as far as I'm aware none of the bullies have died, it only stopped when I managed to get one of them expelled for drug-dealing. He was the ringleader. And I can safely say that five years on, if he and I met in the street, he would probably resort to the same bullying tactics as before. Maybe even worse considering he was expelled from school because of me. If he was to suddenly drop dead, or be killed, or whatever, I sure as hell wouldn't be happy, but I wouldn't be sad either. I just wouldn't care. He was a complete and utter bastard who loved to torment me as much as he could, and tried to get others to do the same. If he was to die I would be completely indifferent, in fact the only people I would have any shred of sympathy for would be his family, and that's because at the end of the day I'm still only human.

I guess what I'm trying to say here, OP, is that you are perfectly justified in feeling the way you do, and that doesn't make you a bad person. If it does then I myself would be on a one way ticket to hell. I have to say, OP, I agree with you completely. There is no reason why you should have to feel sorry for the death of someone who, quite frankly, probably wouldn't care if you were the one who had died.

 

[scornedbythenine]

nothing wrong with that just dont go like most of the youth today "x is a total prick" he dies "x is a total priCk" "YOU CANT SAY THAT HE'S DEAD! ITS SHAN" "STFU YOU DIDN'T LIKE HIM STOP BEING AN ATTENTION SEEKING SHEEP"

y'know the kind of person im on about

 

[brunt32]

Sadly you're not in control with your reactions, sometimes people die that life...
Even though death should be a sad thing it's not always the case as your emotions are not controled by you but your emotions control you...

So to answer your question.

You not feeling sad does not make you a "Bad" human Being...

Even feeling happy about the death doesn't make you a "Bad" person, As you can not control your emotions...

 

[Nicolefranklin]

This reminds me of a thread a couple of months back where a girl admitted on this site to being a bully, and she found out that the person she and others mercilessly taunted had gone and committed suicide. The OP of that thread then went on about how she felt no remorse for her own actions and felt that people going to the funeral were hypocrites and idiots. After many of us reported her and informed mods, and called her out on her bitchiness, she was permabanned.

In that case, the entire Escapist community was ranged against her. This thread could not be any more different. I think a lot of people, myself included, will support you here. I was bullied myself at school, and though as far as I'm aware none of the bullies have died, it only stopped when I managed to get one of them expelled for drug-dealing. He was the ringleader. And I can safely say that five years on, if he and I met in the street, he would probably resort to the same bullying tactics as before. Maybe even worse considering he was expelled from school because of me. If he was to suddenly drop dead, or be killed, or whatever, I sure as hell wouldn't be happy, but I wouldn't be sad either. I just wouldn't care. He was a complete and utter bastard who loved to torment me as much as he could, and tried to get others to do the same. If he was to die I would be completely indifferent, in fact the only people I would have any shred of sympathy for would be his family, and that's because at the end of the day I'm still only human.

I guess what I'm trying to say here, OP, is that you are perfectly justified in feeling the way you do, and that doesn't make you a bad person. If it does then I myself would be on a one way ticket to hell. I have to say, OP, I agree with you completely. There is no reason why you should have to feel sorry for the death of someone who, quite frankly, probably wouldn't care if you were the one who had died.

Wow, now that is just cruel...

Been talking on and off about this with those few mates who actually aren't affected by this, as they have no idea who the guy is, and I must say, I've become quite content with the whole thing already, and it's mostly thanks to all the backup from the Escapist.
I have great sympathy for the family, and his best friend, who apparently were with him when everything went down, and who brought him to the hospital. That guy is probably going to come down with a nasty case of post-traumatic stress...
And I must say though, by the sound of your own bully story, we've dealt with practically the same guy. Only problem was, I didn't have the balls to take it as far as you, and actually do something. Don't think that's expected of a 14 year old girl. But still, way to go!

 

[adderseal]

I suppose it's a shame he died young, but it's not unnatural for you to feel no emotion. He made your life hell, now he's dead and can't anymore. Surely that's a good thing.
Unfortunately, bullies are by definition sad and lonely people, so for him to be murdered alone and unloved is tragic.
On the flip, flip side, would he have made a decent contribution to society and made something of his life? Or would he have gone into drug and drink addiction, dying a slow painful death instead of a quick one?

 

[GrinningManiac]

Everyone around here was sad when Max got thrown out of school

Max is a lazy, thick-headed, drug-abusing (nothing wrong with drugs, mind (just covering my tracks, Mr. Furb)), chavvy, smoking, ugly little runt with a lisp. He looked like Mr. Bean, if Mr. Bean had an inflammed lip that was recently slashed and hadn't fully healed.

The sad thing was, everyone said "It's a shame, cus he was actually quite smart!". Even my Mum said this

Here's the thing, there's a difference between capability and execution. If Max had had the interest, motivation and general common sense to learn something then yes, he was more than capable of understanding and remebering that knowledge, and he'd likely do well in exams

Max instead had sex with lots of very ugly girls, did drugs and played COD4. (Once, he apparantly did 1 and 3 at the same time...yeah...)

He is by no means "smart"

I didn't give half a crap when he got thrown out

 

[JohanGasMask]

Death and human brutality is a natural thing that happens everyday in life, so don´t feel to sad, man

 

[BrownGaijin]

I think this lack of sympathy for someone who bullied you is only human. Also your sense of sympathy for his friends and family makes you a good person. I wouldn't worry that you've become anti-social, because your words show you to be a lot stronger.

Not to go off topic, but if it is a bully's sense of gratification to kill whatever degree of social interaction you have, he death shows that he didn't come even close.

 

[Lemon Of Life]

If he was cruel to you, it is natural not to care.

 

[geldonyetich]

When a person dies of an accident or circumstances beyond their control, it is tragic. When a person dies as a clear consequence of their actions, it's karma. I think we know this even on an instinctive level, so it's understandable that you would not feel as much remorse.

Nonetheless, it's appropriate to express that that you wish that things had turned out better. That individuals so imbalanced as to become bullies exist is often a tragedy in and of itself, and one should hope they find the peace in death they could not find in life.

Of course, as this board is frequented mostly be people in their teens [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.190621-Poll-Whats-your-age?page=1], it's understandable that they're expressing about a stage 2-4 [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kohlberg%27s_stages_of_moral_development] understanding.

 

[Queen Michael]

Of course there's nothing wrong with you. If you don't like the guy, and if he was a bad person, why mourn his death? You wouldn't mourn the death of Hitler, right? Now, Mr Bully might not have been Hitler, but that's just an example that shows there are peeps the deaths of whom you don't cry your heart out over.

 

[Baldry]

No your not a bad person. This guy made your life hell so you shouldn't feel to bad for him, although I understand why people may not like the fact you don't care for his death, but that's human nature. Also Karma, make someone's life hell, go to hell!

Of course there's nothing wrong with you. If you don't like the guy, and if he was a bad person, why mourn his death? You wouldn't mourn the death of Hitler, right? Now, Mr Bully might not have been Hitler, but that's just an example that shows there are peeps the deaths of whom you don't cry your heart out over.

Damn I was gonna use a Hitler example.

 

[Xanadu84]

People die by the billions. You couldn't live if you acknowledged every tragedy with sadness. So it's okay not to mourn. Doesn't make you a bad person. Im sure you also didn't mourn some random kid in africa who starved to death, at least specifically. But like that random kid in Africa, you need to acknowledge that the death of anyone is a tragedy, bully or no. Even a jerk doesn't deserve death.

 

[LiftYourSkinnyFists]

I wouldn't care, I'd be some what happy.

 

[Nannernade]

Only thing I can say about this situation would be well... karma is a *****, it obviously caught up with him and look at that he's dead. =S

 

[Fox242]

He made your high school life miserable, so it's ok for not feeling anything. It sounds like he led himself to destruction so I guess there's no point in weeping over him.

 

[Jack and Calumon]

Nope, completely natural. Tis what most Humans do when faced with death of people they never liked. They are never happy, but not sad to see them go... Thats why revenge can be flawed.

Calumon: I'm sorry for their loss.