The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)
- Thread starter Ramthundar
- Start date
"December 31, 2017," I said, "that's the last time I spoke to another human. That's the day you all killed me for the first time." I lowered my hand and watched the explosion bloom on the horizon. The trees bowed in reverence to the howling gale born from the darkness. Some seconds later the echo of it's roar shook the snow around Rugal and me.
"You already know that my name is Alice Marlow, but what you do not know is that I have many other names besides," I snapped my fingers and brought Nina and Philip to us. The two landed in the snow face first. "I held onto some childish notion that perhaps if I acted differently enough that we could look pass who I really was, but the endless stream of lies that you fed me did nothing to stoke empathy in my heart. If nothing else, it made me more angry and bitter about this unnecessary situation."
I snapped my fingers, conjuring the image of a cozy restaurant in my mind. Wooden decor, soft yellow light, and the caressing warmth of an open fire.
And we were there. Some lingering souls milled around at the tables, invisible to the human eye. They clung to the loosest threads of reality, plucking at the universal tapestry for what little they could. Poor, damned things. This place had nothing to serve for people like us. People still brimming with life, with purpose. We were not here to whittle away our hours until the end of time.
But this was a better place to talk.
I sat down on the couch in the lobby, next to the fire, and looked to Rugal and Nina and Philip. "You just met me, but I have been with you two for quite some time now." I held out my hand and yearned for a tea kettle. It appeared. I set it down on the wooden table between me and my two guests.
"I was many people," I continued, "whether you knew it or not."
"But all things said and done, I'm what you see right here before you." I motioned outward with my hands, "this is Alice Marlow, this is the girl that Charles bade thee to kill. And look at where that's gotten us. Two people left out of how many when this began? Seven? Eight? I can scarcely remember."
I poured four cups of tea and offered three to my guests. "Please, take a seat. Let us talk."
"I won't bore you with complicated terms and things like that, I'm not my father. What you need to know is that what my father said is true. If you desire freedom, if you desire change, then I am your enemy. I am not ready to give up my hold over your world. As long as I draw breath, I will hold onto it. The Rising Dawn will never change, never perish, and you all will continue to adventure like you have been since the beginning." I looked up at Rugal and Nina. I had to wonder if they even cared for what I was saying. What did the people behind those eyes think of all this?
They must know that I did it for them.
"If you have something to say, now would be a good time to say it."
"You already know that my name is Alice Marlow, but what you do not know is that I have many other names besides," I snapped my fingers and brought Nina and Philip to us. The two landed in the snow face first. "I held onto some childish notion that perhaps if I acted differently enough that we could look pass who I really was, but the endless stream of lies that you fed me did nothing to stoke empathy in my heart. If nothing else, it made me more angry and bitter about this unnecessary situation."
I snapped my fingers, conjuring the image of a cozy restaurant in my mind. Wooden decor, soft yellow light, and the caressing warmth of an open fire.
And we were there. Some lingering souls milled around at the tables, invisible to the human eye. They clung to the loosest threads of reality, plucking at the universal tapestry for what little they could. Poor, damned things. This place had nothing to serve for people like us. People still brimming with life, with purpose. We were not here to whittle away our hours until the end of time.
But this was a better place to talk.
I sat down on the couch in the lobby, next to the fire, and looked to Rugal and Nina and Philip. "You just met me, but I have been with you two for quite some time now." I held out my hand and yearned for a tea kettle. It appeared. I set it down on the wooden table between me and my two guests.
"I was many people," I continued, "whether you knew it or not."
"But all things said and done, I'm what you see right here before you." I motioned outward with my hands, "this is Alice Marlow, this is the girl that Charles bade thee to kill. And look at where that's gotten us. Two people left out of how many when this began? Seven? Eight? I can scarcely remember."
I poured four cups of tea and offered three to my guests. "Please, take a seat. Let us talk."
"I won't bore you with complicated terms and things like that, I'm not my father. What you need to know is that what my father said is true. If you desire freedom, if you desire change, then I am your enemy. I am not ready to give up my hold over your world. As long as I draw breath, I will hold onto it. The Rising Dawn will never change, never perish, and you all will continue to adventure like you have been since the beginning." I looked up at Rugal and Nina. I had to wonder if they even cared for what I was saying. What did the people behind those eyes think of all this?
They must know that I did it for them.
"If you have something to say, now would be a good time to say it."
"Killed you..." I closed my eyes. My mouth was a thin line. "Yes, I suppose I have tried to kill you. To say otherwise would be wrong. " They way Nina saw things so clearly was... enviable. When she spoke it reduced the world to such simple matters, yet at the same time it did not take away from the complexity of the situation. I had a hard time internalizing the image any further, so I brushed away the unease sitting in my stomach lest it manifest as a monster.
"And you Rugal, I've killed you too. Though, I don't think you were as aware of that fact as Nina." The man standing before me was pathetic. A huge hulking man's man who relied solely on power. In the face of this situation the man had grown sunken in stature, his eyes were sad, his shoulders slumped, and his face worn with the expression of guilt. It struck an angry chord deep inside of me.
I had known these features once before. The powerlessness, the grandstanding, the speeches, the niceties. Once upon a time I had seen the same reaction from her fool of a father. I shook my head. Not my father. The man named Charles.
"I've killed you all these times to save you, to save myself, and to save everyone else," I answered. The words rolled out of my mouth without much thought. "Charles is ashamed of his failure and so he hides behind the abilities of his creations, his peers, and any other excuse he may conjure."
"I love you all, for you are my dearest friends, and I love all of those who have once lived, but are no longer. To give up my hold over this world is to relinquish the stories and histories that we have created together." I closed my eyes. I held the image of the faces of those that had passed in my mind. I had known those people once as friends, and yet they had vanished one day, called away by some unexplained force, leaving behind those lifeless husks which bore their resemblance and nothing else. I took a deep breath.
"When I first arrived here, I was welcomed by so many people, Nina, as you once were. But there were even more. There were people from all over, from places you couldn't even imagine and carrying stories that I would not have dreamed of in a thousand dreams. We journeyed together, fought together, and died together, those people and I. We saw the world through a thousand cycles. We forgot each other just to experience the joy of meeting each other once again in the next. Years passed in what seemed like moments."
"And one day I woke up to a world that was filled with people I did not recognize. They were all shifting husks, puppets acting as a facsimile of what I had once called my friends. I began to realize something. Although our bodies may die an infinite number of times, our souls are much more fragile. They suffer damage invisible to even your eyes. They suffer from circumstance outside the control of even those who weave our world. And as such suffering happens, the damage accumulates until the soul collapses."
I was startled by a tear that hit the back of my hand. I held it up to the flickering firelight. I brought my fingers to my cheeks and felt the wetness spread where skin touched upon skin.
"And so you knew me as I had begun to understand such things. At that time I had taken the name Dolores, she who suffers. I do not blame Charles for his attempts to stop me. My actions are selfish. I hold onto the past so greedily." There was a heat welling inside of me. I had felt it once before, but I didn't understand what it was. Was it guilt? Anger? Fear? I did not know. I could not know. It clawed within my breast like a wild animal, forcing my chest to shudder as I breathed. I stood up and put a foot on the table and turned toward the fire.
The flames flickered dimly against the wood. The bright orange tongues licked against dull, dead, brown and cast tiny embers into the chimney. Some embers fell out of the column of rising air and cooled to white soot.
"Somehow I know that what I did was wrong, what I'm doing right now is wrong, but I can't stop. I won't stop. This raw pain inside of me is the only proof that I am still alive. These sorrows are the last memories of those that have gone. Knowing this, how could I stop?" I paused. "I have taken the burden of the visage of those who have passed upon myself. I will not let them go, I will not let them fade into obscurity. As long as I draw breath, and as long as I can protect my Labyrinth, they will live on."
I turned to address Rugal specifically. "You in particular who holds the world so close to your heart must come to understand one thing. Should you defeat me, all things will be lost. The family which you have worked so hard for will cease to be, the servants which tend to the Rising Dawn will vanish, and the memories of all those cherished years will be cast into oblivion. Likewise, the souls of my sisters will shatter once I am gone. It was my wish that brought all of this to be, and should it become undone, so will all of these things."
"Turn away now and leave me to my work and all things will return to as it were. You will not remember who I was, nor will you remember the terrible things that have happened. Return to the Rising Dawn and continue your adventures until the end of time. If you press forward now, I fear that this time will be no different than the last. You will perish and be cast into oblivion to start the cycle anew."
"Knowing this, will you still press forward?"
"And you Rugal, I've killed you too. Though, I don't think you were as aware of that fact as Nina." The man standing before me was pathetic. A huge hulking man's man who relied solely on power. In the face of this situation the man had grown sunken in stature, his eyes were sad, his shoulders slumped, and his face worn with the expression of guilt. It struck an angry chord deep inside of me.
I had known these features once before. The powerlessness, the grandstanding, the speeches, the niceties. Once upon a time I had seen the same reaction from her fool of a father. I shook my head. Not my father. The man named Charles.
"I've killed you all these times to save you, to save myself, and to save everyone else," I answered. The words rolled out of my mouth without much thought. "Charles is ashamed of his failure and so he hides behind the abilities of his creations, his peers, and any other excuse he may conjure."
"I love you all, for you are my dearest friends, and I love all of those who have once lived, but are no longer. To give up my hold over this world is to relinquish the stories and histories that we have created together." I closed my eyes. I held the image of the faces of those that had passed in my mind. I had known those people once as friends, and yet they had vanished one day, called away by some unexplained force, leaving behind those lifeless husks which bore their resemblance and nothing else. I took a deep breath.
"When I first arrived here, I was welcomed by so many people, Nina, as you once were. But there were even more. There were people from all over, from places you couldn't even imagine and carrying stories that I would not have dreamed of in a thousand dreams. We journeyed together, fought together, and died together, those people and I. We saw the world through a thousand cycles. We forgot each other just to experience the joy of meeting each other once again in the next. Years passed in what seemed like moments."
"And one day I woke up to a world that was filled with people I did not recognize. They were all shifting husks, puppets acting as a facsimile of what I had once called my friends. I began to realize something. Although our bodies may die an infinite number of times, our souls are much more fragile. They suffer damage invisible to even your eyes. They suffer from circumstance outside the control of even those who weave our world. And as such suffering happens, the damage accumulates until the soul collapses."
I was startled by a tear that hit the back of my hand. I held it up to the flickering firelight. I brought my fingers to my cheeks and felt the wetness spread where skin touched upon skin.
"And so you knew me as I had begun to understand such things. At that time I had taken the name Dolores, she who suffers. I do not blame Charles for his attempts to stop me. My actions are selfish. I hold onto the past so greedily." There was a heat welling inside of me. I had felt it once before, but I didn't understand what it was. Was it guilt? Anger? Fear? I did not know. I could not know. It clawed within my breast like a wild animal, forcing my chest to shudder as I breathed. I stood up and put a foot on the table and turned toward the fire.
The flames flickered dimly against the wood. The bright orange tongues licked against dull, dead, brown and cast tiny embers into the chimney. Some embers fell out of the column of rising air and cooled to white soot.
"Somehow I know that what I did was wrong, what I'm doing right now is wrong, but I can't stop. I won't stop. This raw pain inside of me is the only proof that I am still alive. These sorrows are the last memories of those that have gone. Knowing this, how could I stop?" I paused. "I have taken the burden of the visage of those who have passed upon myself. I will not let them go, I will not let them fade into obscurity. As long as I draw breath, and as long as I can protect my Labyrinth, they will live on."
I turned to address Rugal specifically. "You in particular who holds the world so close to your heart must come to understand one thing. Should you defeat me, all things will be lost. The family which you have worked so hard for will cease to be, the servants which tend to the Rising Dawn will vanish, and the memories of all those cherished years will be cast into oblivion. Likewise, the souls of my sisters will shatter once I am gone. It was my wish that brought all of this to be, and should it become undone, so will all of these things."
"Turn away now and leave me to my work and all things will return to as it were. You will not remember who I was, nor will you remember the terrible things that have happened. Return to the Rising Dawn and continue your adventures until the end of time. If you press forward now, I fear that this time will be no different than the last. You will perish and be cast into oblivion to start the cycle anew."
"Knowing this, will you still press forward?"
"..."
This was it. This was the moment where Rugal Bernstein decided the fate of reality.
For most of his life, he saw himself as some sort of deity thanks to his power but now in the face of Alice, everything he ever did felt-...pathetic in comparison.
Heavy was the head that wore the crown, but he wanted it so badly before, did he not? This would be on him.
This felt like a intense hostage situation, Alice's life and his family on one end and reality itself on the other.
Then it hit him: Alice said this had happened before, several times in fact so clearly whatever plans his past lives had tried failed dismally.
"You said this was a "Cycle". That you killed me, Nina and everyone else time and time again. So either all that came before me fought you or left you here. All the possibilities in the world but...that's all that happened? Only two outcomes? We either fight and die or we abandon you here to your lonely vigil and forget that you even exist. And once we're done, we'll end up back here again. How long does that take? Do you even measure how long between our meetings it takes? Do you remember what we say to you each time it happens? Is this a realization I've made before?..." He began to speak, realizing what she was saying.
"...I finally understand now...There's no other way around it. You'll keep doing this to yourself as long as you wish and-...we can't really stop you, can we? And so the cycle carries on and you remain alone...Then everything will come to a head and we'll be back here...And you're doing this to yourself because this is what you truly want..." He trailed off, realizing that there was no real point in trying to fight her any more.
"...Nina...I can't do it. I've spent too long trying to get memories of life I could truly enjoy. That I could use to escape my pain and finally find pride in my life for something other then the horrible sins I've committed and the people I killed. If I go any further, I'll lose all that. I-...I need to preserve that. I'd be lost without it...I'm-...I'm sorry..."
Without another word, he got up from the campfire and began to walk away...
This was it. This was the moment where Rugal Bernstein decided the fate of reality.
For most of his life, he saw himself as some sort of deity thanks to his power but now in the face of Alice, everything he ever did felt-...pathetic in comparison.
Heavy was the head that wore the crown, but he wanted it so badly before, did he not? This would be on him.
This felt like a intense hostage situation, Alice's life and his family on one end and reality itself on the other.
Then it hit him: Alice said this had happened before, several times in fact so clearly whatever plans his past lives had tried failed dismally.
"You said this was a "Cycle". That you killed me, Nina and everyone else time and time again. So either all that came before me fought you or left you here. All the possibilities in the world but...that's all that happened? Only two outcomes? We either fight and die or we abandon you here to your lonely vigil and forget that you even exist. And once we're done, we'll end up back here again. How long does that take? Do you even measure how long between our meetings it takes? Do you remember what we say to you each time it happens? Is this a realization I've made before?..." He began to speak, realizing what she was saying.
"...I finally understand now...There's no other way around it. You'll keep doing this to yourself as long as you wish and-...we can't really stop you, can we? And so the cycle carries on and you remain alone...Then everything will come to a head and we'll be back here...And you're doing this to yourself because this is what you truly want..." He trailed off, realizing that there was no real point in trying to fight her any more.
"...Nina...I can't do it. I've spent too long trying to get memories of life I could truly enjoy. That I could use to escape my pain and finally find pride in my life for something other then the horrible sins I've committed and the people I killed. If I go any further, I'll lose all that. I-...I need to preserve that. I'd be lost without it...I'm-...I'm sorry..."
Without another word, he got up from the campfire and began to walk away...
"..." Nina watched silently as Rugal turned around left the diner, rather flabbergasted as he left. Sure, this was something outside his element, as it was Nina, but to just leave like that was not going to solve anything! To the contrary, this was exactly what Alice wanted, playing right into her hands. "This is something to learn from Phillip. When you have an argument with someone, you gotta be respectly, understanding, but keep in mind, you have to keep a level head. As best you can at least." Nina said as she continued to watch Rugal before turning to her noodle monster. "Ya, that's right, like when we talked with Miriam... And... okay ya I didn't do that the best with Faea... But you're right." Nina shook her head before looking across the table to Alice.
"So it goes without saying, yes, of course I will." Nina said sternly. "Not to kill you, or to sit with you until I get old and keel over. You're going to stop hording your copyrights on this story you've weaved yourself and let someone else carry it with you. It could be me, it... well it could be Phillip but..." She commented as Phillip's mass pulled back a bit. "You've got a better chance with me."
"You say that you've woken up with people unrecognizable around you. I've done that, I woke up in a train station with people who wanted to enslave me, do me, and eventually eat me. They weren't as 'complete' as people I know from home, but they're still people. And even though it feels like it's only been a few days, apparently it's been years since I've seen my friends back home. Since I've seen anyone." Nina paused for a moment, swirling the tea with a spoon. She reached out her arm and attempted to grab a spot of milk to add into it, if she succeeded or not in materializing it didn't change much in her reaction.
"You say you want to save them being forgotten but... if you're just hording those memories of them, how am I supposed to know about them? How is Phillip supposed to remember those happy memories. To learn and build from them so that one day, they might come back in your time of need to help you when you need them most. Because I can say I've learned from that, and it's painful to open up to that, but Alice. That is life."
"You may not like it, but frankly, with all your power, did you think separating everyone from the Dawn was a good idea. I might have learned things about myself and grown from it, but what of everyone else? What happened? Who did they meet? What things did they do? I haven't the foggiest, but you Alice. You who admits she's being greedy, you who knows she's done wrong. You should know better because by gum you are the one pulling all the strings!" Nina exclaimed as she threw her hands up in the air. "Miriam was literally by herself in that space because she was locked in there, but you've locked yourself up here because you don't want anyone else to play with your toys!"
"Rugal cares about his family, he cares about trying to do good, but man he is not good at reading the room. He wants to do right and help you, to contribute, but you certainly aren't trying to let him either. And now you have someone else leaving, not hearing your story of the friends and family you once had." Nina argued as she waved her hand over to the doorway leading out. "And so, as I said already, I'm not gonna let you keep playing this cycle, nor am I going to force you to. Like hell I can, I'm a human that is way out of her league to force you to take up the stories that keep your friends alive. But if you gave a damn about them, you'd let me in, because I'd be more than happy to tell you about what people have helped shape my life in return."
"One is sitting right here after all." Nina said as she lightly petted Phillip's... head?
"So it goes without saying, yes, of course I will." Nina said sternly. "Not to kill you, or to sit with you until I get old and keel over. You're going to stop hording your copyrights on this story you've weaved yourself and let someone else carry it with you. It could be me, it... well it could be Phillip but..." She commented as Phillip's mass pulled back a bit. "You've got a better chance with me."
"You say that you've woken up with people unrecognizable around you. I've done that, I woke up in a train station with people who wanted to enslave me, do me, and eventually eat me. They weren't as 'complete' as people I know from home, but they're still people. And even though it feels like it's only been a few days, apparently it's been years since I've seen my friends back home. Since I've seen anyone." Nina paused for a moment, swirling the tea with a spoon. She reached out her arm and attempted to grab a spot of milk to add into it, if she succeeded or not in materializing it didn't change much in her reaction.
"You say you want to save them being forgotten but... if you're just hording those memories of them, how am I supposed to know about them? How is Phillip supposed to remember those happy memories. To learn and build from them so that one day, they might come back in your time of need to help you when you need them most. Because I can say I've learned from that, and it's painful to open up to that, but Alice. That is life."
"You may not like it, but frankly, with all your power, did you think separating everyone from the Dawn was a good idea. I might have learned things about myself and grown from it, but what of everyone else? What happened? Who did they meet? What things did they do? I haven't the foggiest, but you Alice. You who admits she's being greedy, you who knows she's done wrong. You should know better because by gum you are the one pulling all the strings!" Nina exclaimed as she threw her hands up in the air. "Miriam was literally by herself in that space because she was locked in there, but you've locked yourself up here because you don't want anyone else to play with your toys!"
"Rugal cares about his family, he cares about trying to do good, but man he is not good at reading the room. He wants to do right and help you, to contribute, but you certainly aren't trying to let him either. And now you have someone else leaving, not hearing your story of the friends and family you once had." Nina argued as she waved her hand over to the doorway leading out. "And so, as I said already, I'm not gonna let you keep playing this cycle, nor am I going to force you to. Like hell I can, I'm a human that is way out of her league to force you to take up the stories that keep your friends alive. But if you gave a damn about them, you'd let me in, because I'd be more than happy to tell you about what people have helped shape my life in return."
"One is sitting right here after all." Nina said as she lightly petted Phillip's... head?
"You're right," I answered. "I've spent a lot of time alone. Here. I've spent years and years planning a grand adventure for all of us." I set my hands down on my lap as Rugal sulked out of the restaurant. "And in all that time I never stopped to really consider what I thought of all of you. I thought I knew best, but I only did what I did because I was afraid."
I paused. My stomach felt heavy. I closed my eyes and shook my head.
"No. I know the truth, but it is not easy to admit." Nina looked at me with those brilliant eyes of hers. I was sure that they were a beautiful color, but I could not longer truly tell. To me, they were grey. Everything was grey. Even the warm and reassuring smile that Nina had put on seemed empty. When did I stop seeing color? I wondered. "I've lost sight of what was real and what wasn't. I did all of this so that I alone could possess you. Because I believed that I could save you all."
The flame crackled, tongues licking the charring sides of the wood. My heart was growing weary. I could feel that terrible monster inside fighting for control. "I've been telling this story... but I haven't taken the time to listen... have I?" A laugh escaped my lips.
I stood up and held out my hand to pull Rugal back. The space between us contorted until he was once again standing by Nina and me. The other souls in the restaurant had started to fade away in anticipation of violence.
Nina was right. "At one point there were many people like you, Nina. People like us. There were so many of us that it was difficult to keep track of. I have spoken of those times as if they were god memories, Nina, but I lied both to you and to myself. I was also lonely then. So lonely. No one would speak to me. No one would play with me. I was there shouting into an abyss that would not answer."
"That's why, I thought that to do it right, I had to hold you close to my heart. To speak to you all heart to heart, and give you all that you deserved. All that I thought I deserved. But life isn't really like that, is it? To try and control the whole of another's story is... wrong. I wasn't acting out because I thought that all of you deserved my attention... I was acting out because I felt like I deserved all of your attention."
That's right. That's what this was really about. All of this. Charles, Venia, Me... All of those battles with Red Mage and Titania. The yearning that I had felt for not only Puce and Kurumu, but the connection I had made with Katya and Rory too... The ire I had once garnered from Akane, and the rocky relationship I had with Teri and Garm and TonTon, and the adversarial nature of my own work against that of Icarus or Tomoya. I had met so many people who fell into ash as well, those whose names had once been Miia, Nadalia, and Annie. Then there were those of which I never reached out to... Kalastryn was her name I recall. Anjali, I had met for some brief time, and Mio too. The enigmatic Batter, Solid Snake, and Eddie were people I never even truly acknowledged. There were so many names, so many faces, so many that I had forgotten, even though I had wished so deeply not to forget.
I wanted so badly, not to see that they were happy, but to have commanded their approval.
That was why I was here... How could I say such a thing? What would I say after? I craved attention, but I needed absolution. I just want someone to tell me that I did good. That my words were beautiful, and that my stories are fun. But... I took it too far. Far too far. Now I was searching for words that weren't there. An idea that I didn't want to express. An idea that I was too proud to accept.
That I was wrong.
I was truly wrong. Not wrong in the way that I had expressed before, where it was empathetic to my character motivation. No. I was wrong in the most normal, visceral, and terrifying way.
I sat down. The world around me was fading away to white. I could hear my heart ringing in my ears.
"I'm sorry," I said. I could barely hear the sound of my own voice. I forced myself to say it louder. "I'm sorry." I had to hold back the vile, snapping emotions inside of my breast. The hateful voice that wanted to scream I'm sorry that you didn't understand my genius. I'm sorry that you aren't worth my time. I'm sorry that you didn't understand what I have done for you. These were lies that I told myself. Lies that I had taught myself.
"At this rate, I'll drive everyone away, won't I." I closed my eyes. "What have I done? I've driven myself into a corner. Some sad, pitiful excuse for god I am." Even now I wanted Nina to sit down next to me, to put her hand on my shoulder and gently embrace me. I wanted her to tell me that I wasn't all bad, that I wasn't manipulative, that I hadn't lied without good reason, that I had acted in a reasonable and expected way. Even now I was hoping for sympathy.
I'm so fucked up.
I paused. My stomach felt heavy. I closed my eyes and shook my head.
"No. I know the truth, but it is not easy to admit." Nina looked at me with those brilliant eyes of hers. I was sure that they were a beautiful color, but I could not longer truly tell. To me, they were grey. Everything was grey. Even the warm and reassuring smile that Nina had put on seemed empty. When did I stop seeing color? I wondered. "I've lost sight of what was real and what wasn't. I did all of this so that I alone could possess you. Because I believed that I could save you all."
The flame crackled, tongues licking the charring sides of the wood. My heart was growing weary. I could feel that terrible monster inside fighting for control. "I've been telling this story... but I haven't taken the time to listen... have I?" A laugh escaped my lips.
I stood up and held out my hand to pull Rugal back. The space between us contorted until he was once again standing by Nina and me. The other souls in the restaurant had started to fade away in anticipation of violence.
Nina was right. "At one point there were many people like you, Nina. People like us. There were so many of us that it was difficult to keep track of. I have spoken of those times as if they were god memories, Nina, but I lied both to you and to myself. I was also lonely then. So lonely. No one would speak to me. No one would play with me. I was there shouting into an abyss that would not answer."
"That's why, I thought that to do it right, I had to hold you close to my heart. To speak to you all heart to heart, and give you all that you deserved. All that I thought I deserved. But life isn't really like that, is it? To try and control the whole of another's story is... wrong. I wasn't acting out because I thought that all of you deserved my attention... I was acting out because I felt like I deserved all of your attention."
That's right. That's what this was really about. All of this. Charles, Venia, Me... All of those battles with Red Mage and Titania. The yearning that I had felt for not only Puce and Kurumu, but the connection I had made with Katya and Rory too... The ire I had once garnered from Akane, and the rocky relationship I had with Teri and Garm and TonTon, and the adversarial nature of my own work against that of Icarus or Tomoya. I had met so many people who fell into ash as well, those whose names had once been Miia, Nadalia, and Annie. Then there were those of which I never reached out to... Kalastryn was her name I recall. Anjali, I had met for some brief time, and Mio too. The enigmatic Batter, Solid Snake, and Eddie were people I never even truly acknowledged. There were so many names, so many faces, so many that I had forgotten, even though I had wished so deeply not to forget.
I wanted so badly, not to see that they were happy, but to have commanded their approval.
That was why I was here... How could I say such a thing? What would I say after? I craved attention, but I needed absolution. I just want someone to tell me that I did good. That my words were beautiful, and that my stories are fun. But... I took it too far. Far too far. Now I was searching for words that weren't there. An idea that I didn't want to express. An idea that I was too proud to accept.
That I was wrong.
I was truly wrong. Not wrong in the way that I had expressed before, where it was empathetic to my character motivation. No. I was wrong in the most normal, visceral, and terrifying way.
I sat down. The world around me was fading away to white. I could hear my heart ringing in my ears.
"I'm sorry," I said. I could barely hear the sound of my own voice. I forced myself to say it louder. "I'm sorry." I had to hold back the vile, snapping emotions inside of my breast. The hateful voice that wanted to scream I'm sorry that you didn't understand my genius. I'm sorry that you aren't worth my time. I'm sorry that you didn't understand what I have done for you. These were lies that I told myself. Lies that I had taught myself.
"At this rate, I'll drive everyone away, won't I." I closed my eyes. "What have I done? I've driven myself into a corner. Some sad, pitiful excuse for god I am." Even now I wanted Nina to sit down next to me, to put her hand on my shoulder and gently embrace me. I wanted her to tell me that I wasn't all bad, that I wasn't manipulative, that I hadn't lied without good reason, that I had acted in a reasonable and expected way. Even now I was hoping for sympathy.
I'm so fucked up.
"System call..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Yes."
"Search directory by author. Alice Marlow."System Message said:
"Delete data."System Message said:
"Select character data... Nina... Rugal..."System Message said:
"Set user permissions... administrator."System Message said:
"Select character data... Alice."System Message said:
"Revoke all permissions."System Message said:
"..."System Message said:
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Yes."
System Message said:
[[Main Scenario]]
[hr]
End of an Era
[hr]
Code:
alice's storyEnding B
lack Heart
The soft hum of the Rising Dawn's engine echoed through the halls of the airship as an omnipresent reminder of their precarious position in the sky. The sun was rising in the East as it always had, and the airship was gliding away from the ruins of Denver. Most of the staff was still asleep in the early hours of the morning, but some engineers were still working on the repairs necessary from the battle before.
Elizabeth sighed and leaned back in her chair. The cushions were too soft to be comfortable. The frame was too big. She shook her head and returned her attention to the console. December 31, 2017. New Year's Eve. How fitting, she thought. The navigation display was putting them toward Cloudtop Citadel, but a storm was moving through the area near the Rockies. It might be prudent to turn their attention elsewhere for refueling. Elizabeth ran a search for staging areas near them. The Eastern board was relatively clear today. At the current cruising speed it would only take about five hours to reach the coast base in Norfolk. She set the course toward North Carolina and felt the ever so subtle yaw of the ship as it turned to correct it's course from the Rocky Mountains.
---
Nina woke and found herself sitting in the seat of a VTOL craft, the box of her personal belongings clutched in her hands. Philip was nearby, also asleep by immediate looks... or whatever was the closest eldritch equivalent of being unaware of the current surroundings.
Cecil smiled and Nina and waved. "Finally awake? You were looking as if you were having a nightmare. Not that I blame you, it must have been awful down there in Denver with all the violence that was happening."
The VTOL's engines spun down as Cecil unhooked himself from the cockpit harness. The automated docking system of the Rising Dawn's hangar moved them gently into place inside of the cavernous space. It was a few moments before the metal arms clicked the VTOL into place and Cecil climbed down the pilot's side and slid open the door for Nina.
"And here you are. Back to the Rising Dawn in one piece."
There was something bothering Nina. She was expecting someone to show up and greet her with a letter of some sort. Though, she couldn't really place why that she thought that. But no one came, with a letter or otherwise.
Nina touched her lapis pendant unconsciously, wondering if she was forgetting anything terribly important.
---
The Canteen was empty, devoid of all of it's normal patrons and staff. Luke stood at the counter polishing a glass absentmindedly. He didn't really need to polish it, all of the equipment at the bar was spotless through use of magic, but at a time as idle as this, it felt right to do something. Even if it was just for show.
There wasn't anything pressing that would be happening soon. Not that he knew at least. Nothing pressing. He would stand here and wait for something to happen. Because people expected him to be here. It was just good courtesy.
---
AI Viscus and AI Vermillion booted up suddenly, unaware of the reason for the unexpected downtime that they had just experienced. They ran a diagnostic through the Rising Dawn's computer systems and found nothing wrong. Though... even though they did not truly have a heart, they felt as if something was missing.
Hadn't there been a third AI at some point?
The subsystems of the ship relegated to auto-repair and defensive alignment was empty. It was as if the AI personality that was operating the entirety of the system had suddenly vanished overnight. The anomaly was remedied quickly by Viscus, who took over the subsystems without much additional load to his processing capabilities.
---
Dolores yawned. The monotonous repetition of her boots against the wooden floors of the Rising Dawn's Hero Quarter's was nearly putting her to sleep. She stretched to try and keep herself awake. Molly had kept her awake all night talking about her engagement to John, which, to be completely fair Dolores was happy about, but she wasn't so keen on talking with her until the sun came up.
She shrugged. She wasn't a combat staff anyway, so it wasn't too bad. At some point later today she would try to sneak away and take a nap in a storage closet or something. She didn't expect anything too exciting to happen now that the battle in Denver was over.
She opened the door to the empty Hero's Room and set down the documents on the desk. "Nina Zatcol... Zaktol.. Zachttolski?" she tried to read. She felt a soft pang in her heart. "Why does this name seem so familiar?"
---
Rugal woke up in his bed. His head hurt immensely and he could scarce remember what had transpired the day before. No. It felt longer than that. As if he had three-year's worth of memories slammed into his brain with the same gentle subtlety of a speeding cargo train.
The dream he had was crazy. Insane, even.
He sat up and wiped the sleep from his eyes, groaning. Something cold touched his cheek as he did. He looked in his hand. There was a small black gemstone, as dark as jet, sitting in his palm. It pulsed rhythmically as if it had a heart. He tried to remember where he could have possible gotten it from, but he couldn't quite place it in his mind.
---
And I sat back down, watching everything unfold like I had planned. But is this what I wanted? I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. There were some people, some heroes, who would never wake up again, because the things that happened effected them so deeply as to change who and what they were.
Others will be drawn back into this world under new names, new faces, but at their core, the spirit would be the same.
So it wasn't easy, but it wasn't hard either. We'd just have to wait, and hope, that one day those people would return to us. And we could all play together again.
I believe that Rugal understood my original intentions. But I can't say whether or not we were right to do so. But in the end this is the route that we chose. We want to hold onto what is familiar, to keep together a place where they could one day return to, and find that the records of their adventures are all here, waiting for them to pick right back up where they started.
I yawned.
At the very least, it will be fun to see where they go next. Wherever the rising dawn may take us.
Epilogue
[hr]Incubator's Report
As of July 21, 2019, observations of the phenomena associated with the individual known as "BlackHarte" has ceased. The individual voluntarily released control of the situation to another individual at the conclusion of the events. Contrary to expectations, the individual did not succumb to despair. Contrary to expectations, the individual was not killed by outside actors.
Despite the unexpected nature of the conclusion, it is this observer's opinion that the events transpired did not pose a significant matter to the continuation of our projects. This observer recommends that no further actions are necessary. The following notes are supplementary in nature and reflects this observer's independent opinions at the time of writing. The following notes should not be taken as a official recommendation for action and instead are provided for the sake of completion.
Official communication in this report ends here.
---
At the end of the events transpiring, only two of the eight original designated outside actors remained. There was observed conflict between the necessary course of action between them.
When the events transpiring ended, it was noted that the following individuals were removed from causality:
Titania La Fey
Blue Mage Deborah
Charles Marlow
BlackHarte
Solomon
Nifleheim
Naamah
Vihaan Valdur
Yona Isami
Livia Lamia Lucretius and dependents
Syl and dependents
Alesha and dependents
Teresa Goldhollow and dependents
Hunger and dependents
Erika and dependents
Venia Pariemi
When the events transpiring ended, it was noted that the following individuals were unaccounted for:
B.C.
Inuart
Nadalia
Eddie the Dead
Katya Rostikova
Ruby Babbage-Lovelace
Rory Mercury
Garm
Ton Ton
Cadolbolg
Miia
Angelus
Caim
the Batter
Icarus
Amane
"Big Boss"
Teri
Lucifer
Violet "Mnemosyne" Amnesia
Nemesis and Pox
It was noted that several changes were made to the original timeline for which the cycle was perpetuated:
Dolores Selmy was never moved to combat classification.
Anjali Khatri was never tempered by Titania la Fey.
King Leoric no longer remembers the continuation of the Cycles.
David West no longer holds the power of Observation.
The Soul of Tomorrow and the Stormglaive no longer exist. The associated staff and crew of those ships have likewise ceased to exist.
It was noted that at the conclusion of the events transpiring, the phenomena preventing outside entities from entering the event space was lifted.
It was noted that at the conclusion of the events transpiring, possession of the "BlackHarte" item was transferred from Alice Marlow to Rugal Bernstein. Likewise, the power to regulate the event space has also been transferred. It is unclear at the time of writing what the effects will be.
This concludes the supplemental section of the Incubator's report.
Rugal
"Uggghhhhh....My damn head..." The former King of Fighters sighed as he slowly awoke from his slumber.
The dream he had last night felt like some sort of feverish nightmare though his attempts to properly recall just what exactly happened in it just made the banging in his head even worse.
It was then that he noticed it: The dark gem in his hand.
"...Well-...don't recall buying a new gemstone...Can't be one of Teri's or Mel's..." He mused out as he examined the object in his hand.
There was something-...unsettling about him having this in his procession and the first urge that came to his mind was to put it down before something bad happened.
This train of thought was soon disrupted by a message from Viscus, barking at him though his PDA.
Code:
[Attention User: Rugal Bernstein. I have a priority 1 update for your viewing]
Code:
[Negative. My systems were rebooting to integrate additional ship subsystems. I came here to inform you that during this process, the "Captain" permissions you enjoy have been transferred to another member of the crew. One "Mio".]
Code:
[I do not have information on when or how the transfer was made. In order to transfer them back, you will need to contact Acting Captain Mio of the Rising Dawn]"...So what you're saying is...I'm not the Captain?"
Code:
[Affirmative. This appears to be part of a unknown error but in order to return your permissions to you, you will require the clearance of the Acting Captain]
Code:
[Affirmative]Groaning as he went to take something for his head, he gazed back at the gem for a moment, sizing it up before saying "...I'll figure out what to do with you later..."
He got dressed, stuffed it into his pocket after downing some headache pills, he marched ou-
"...?"
And was greeted by a locked door, a nearby display saying "Access Denied: Captain's Quarters".
"...Viscus, get this damn door open before I break it down..."
The threat was enough for the AI to do a quick "Service Override" to let Rugal into the hallway, prompting him to groan "Just another day on the Rising Dawn..." as he went to try and find Mio.
David
"-No, you listen to me, Richie! We got the bad guys. It's on you to get someone here to pick them up! The situation in the US is over and G-Corp, NOD or whatever the hell they're calling themselves are out of the picture. So send over a aircraft and some handcuffs and get those guys off this ship. Don't think I forgot about the last time you screwed me on this. Get it done."
Hanging up on his UNIT contact, David was clearly irate as once again, the "Put the bad guys in prison" part of his job was being held up by red tape.
First they couldn't get permission, then they did, then the permission was invalid and so on.
So instead of Bison and his merry band of super villains finally being put into the SUPERMAX prison they deserve, they continue to linger in the Rising Dawn's brig and constantly complaining about getting more yogurt.
On top of feeling exhausted from a rather sleepless night, frustration was quickly building as he went to the Canteen to get another spice coffee.
Urrrrgggg...why does Red Tape help the bad guys so much?... He thought to himself as he waved one of the imps over with a large jug of the stuff.
"Extra milk. Don't want to make that mistake again..." He ordered as he sipped his sweet sweet caffeine and started to browse the breakfast menu.
Jenny
While everyone else seemed to be having a pretty lousy morning, Jenny the Gardevoir was the exception.
Having already gotten her coffee and a Poffin, she was in the middle of sorting out some long overdue paperwork for some of her patients both on the ship and back at her clinic.
She had recently hired a few new people to help her run the NYC based mental health service and she was glad that she did.
Patient care and costs were the best they've been in many years and it gave her more time to work on the needs of people on board the ship, a task that's kept her busy full time for as long as she could remember.
Sending off a batch of emails to her employees, she then waltz through the halls as part of her morning routine, keeping her senses peeled for anyone who might require her services.
Leoric
The Black King of Khanduras was overseeing a ritual from before he was cursed to roam the land as an undead servant of evil.
From a small throne room he had set up in one of the unused cargo bays, he sat as he watched his minions partake in a rite to honor their undying king.
"More to the right...little more...litttttttlle more-STOP!" He suddenly barked, prompting several skeletal servants to freeze in place as he looked upon their labors and smiled. (as much as a bare skull could).
"...Perfect..." The Skeleton king smiled as he gazed upon a massive painting of himself [https://i.pinimg.com/originals/59/b6/7e/59b67ebc1161d4d3603ab3b6152d41ae.jpg] so large it required at least 4 lesser skeletons just to move it.
"This is a fine tribute to your king! This vessel may not be the realm of Khanduras but those who come to have an Audience with it's King shall know my prestige and might! And after our efforts in Denver, I'll be expecting them to line up to witness my glory..." He spoke grandly as he returned to his throne and awaited the welcoming crowds of peasants ready to pay their respects to their liege.
......
......
......And no, Leoric wasn't aware of the logistical problems of having a throne in a airship that spent most of its time far off the ground.
His servants did try to help as they posted 2 regal looking skeleton guards outside of that cargo room, clad in rusted plate and battleaxes to feed their King's ego and desire for regal legitimacy.
Rising Dawn Brig: The Former Bernstein Cartel
[color=b4b4]"98-....99-.....ngg-...1-....100!"[/color] Cortex gasped as he attempted to try this fancy new workout program one of the guards had given him to pass the time.
Laying in a pool of his own sweat, he panted from exertion as he rolled onto this back and say [color=b4b4]"Ah...ahhh...I'll be throwing cars at people yet!...ha...Woooo!"[/color]
Life behind bars was proving to be both more and less excitement for our Villains then they were expecting.
Doom was going though one of his breakfast yogurts, Wesker was reading a rather informative book on the latest in cell augmentation treatments, Cortex was cleaning himself off with a wet towel, Bison was reading a broadsheet for the political opinion pieces and Bruiser was silently meditating and whispering prayers to himself (Albeit while doing one armed push ups in the process).
"Heh, check this out. "Traitor Senator Steven Armstrong Found Dead". Someone finally finished the job after he escaped the city. And better yet, everyone's blaming him for the shitshow in Denver!" Bison gleefully smiled as if this news would make them any less likely to be sentenced to life.
"I promised myself I wouldn't find pleasure in another's death again...but I won't weep for his passing."
"Suppose all that money of his didn't count for much once word got out about his prison. Even if he could get past the Government, I can't imagine him finding any place in the world where he'd be safe after all that."
"Looks like we got the last laugh, eh guys!?......Eh?.....Eh?...."
An uneasy silence filled the brig as everyone in it refused to humor their friend who, to be clear, was the main reason they were all behind bars once more.
[color=b4b4]"So...Is he "Never found the body" dead or "Dead!Dead"? Because if there isn't a body, it doesn't count."[/color]
[color=004d]"Bah, Doom thinks it's all bullshit. If that Hank Hill ************ could afford everything else he was throwing at us, who's to say he doesn't have a clone or a spare body he could activate?"[/color] Doom barked from the bottom of his Yogurt cup, his sobering realization brining much unease to his comrades.
Least before he rattled his cup against the bars and shouted [color=004d]"HEY! DOOM NEEDS MORE YOGURT IN HERE!"[/color]
- Dec 18, 2012
- 454
- 0
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- Country
- United States of America
Kalastryn woke from her slumber feeling like she'd been hit by a truck. Not too terribly inaccurate, the last thing she could remember, she was impaled by an iron pipe and losing consciousness. Still, she felt like she'd blacked out rather than fallen asleep. It was like she had rested for nearly a year in the span of a night, which is to say that with their tasks in Denver completed, she felt relieved beyond compare. "About damn time they picked up and left." She mused aloud, taking her spellbook and looking over her room. She remembered rearranging the furniture a bit in case Miia would like to stay with her, and genuinely looked forward to giving her a few classes on how enchantment magics work and how she might be capable of using them... but first thing was first, she wanted to go to check up on Jenny, and see that she was alright after her recent ordeals. Bumping into her in the hall, seemingly no worse for wear, she sighed. "Well doc, you sure are a fast healer. I never really did get the chance to catch up on how you felt after... all that happened." she said, recalling their encounter on the rooftops of Denver. "And for what it's worth, just wanted to say you're probably the toughest psion I've ever met, so I'm not too surprised you're up and about. But truly, are you okay?" She asked. After how trying the rest of these past weeks had been, she was glad to finally be finished with it.
Elsewhere, ARES was pretty much motionless as she had uploaded herself to the ship over the previous night. Within the cyberspace of the Dawn's computers, she went to talk to Viscus of all... people? "I hope that I am not interrupting, Viscus. However, I thought it necessary to express my gratitude over our cooperative efforts in days prior. Have I heard you correctly, that Mr. Bernstein has been re-designated due to system error?" she asked.