The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

000Ronald

New member
Mar 7, 2008
2,167
0
0
"Y'know..." Rangorak began. "It just occurs to me that the radiation from the mini-nukes would affect the other fishing village, too."

"Normally, yes." The Logician said. "But in this case, I dispersed the radiation with Logic. I'm that good."

"Well that seems awfully convinient."

"It is. And don't hang a lamp on it; it just ticks people off."
 

Lastbayking

New member
Mar 19, 2009
171
0
0
"Sir there using Deus ex Machina to defeat you."
"What..."
"Forget it...we're going to have to go back and stop them from reaching the village."
"Blast, how did they find out that's were I stored all my weaponary and replacement bayknights?"
"I don't know." The baykinght sleds promptly turned around to meet the army of 7 or how many adventures the good guys had.
"Sir this fight is going to be a little one sided."
"What makes you say that?"
"A man who simply logics away radiation, a ram, a ninja monkey...must I go on."
"No but I know exactly how to stop them."
"How might I ask?"
"My secert weapon...MODS!!!"
"Sir, this is real life and your not playing Fallout 3 anymore..."
"Like hell I'm not." On cue the console opened up and all around froze. tgm. additem mininukes 29992992992929. additem f 20002002002000200020*just in case* and placeatme deathclaw army. but he miss clicked and everything went into the pockets of the logicical man. "Well atleast the deathclaw army will get them..."
"Army is set up at teh village now what sir."
"Fire at will."
"There's no one named Will on there side sir."
"..."
 

Ramthundar

New member
Jan 19, 2009
3,878
0
0
Ram looked at the Logician. "You know, if you say the complete opposite of what I say after I say it, one of us looks like a lier."

He then turned to the massive army coming from the village. "Damn, they are sneaky."

Ok, new rule. You must post a hold-post before acctually writing the post.
EDIT. as you can see, this rule is important
 

RagnorakTres

New member
Feb 10, 2009
1,869
0
0
"You know, I could totally cheat and kill them all with my limit attack, but I think I'll indulge in some good old fashioned violence today. You know, beating them to death with my staff." said Ragnorak. "Anyone else feelin' this?"

"I think I'm gettin' what you're sayin'. I haven't kickboxed in a while. I like it!" said Spike.

"I concur. Seems like a sound plan." said the Ram.

"Mmmmmm...inflicting pain sounds good right now...or is that my backpack full of food..." said the Logician.

"SCREW THAT! I'MA CHARGIN' MA LAZUHH!!!" said the LazorCat.

<color=navy>Way to enter into the spirit of the plan, puss.

<color=turquoise>Shut up, Abacus. You can't fight anyway.

"Uhm...she does know his name is Jerry, right?" the Logician asked Ragnorak.

"Yeah. I think "Abacus" is a kind of an endearment-disguised-as-an-insult thingy." replied Ragnorak.

"Let's kick some ass!" whooped Spike as he leaped at the army. he killed at least three before he became embroiled in a brawl so thick they couldn't see him. They assumed he was winning, however. Mostly because of the Bayknights flying out of the brawl with awkwardly bent limbs and necks.

Ragnorak jumped into the fray and turned into a whirlwind of death (not literally, obviously, though that would be pretty cool). His prehensile tail and four usable limbs helped enhance this image.

The Logician counted on logic to dodge and counter enemy attacks. It worked very well. At least until the illogic monster got ahold of him. So he just trapped it into a debate about Creationism in schools and it exploded from the sheer logic of his argument. He then continued the pummeling.

The Ram just charged straight through the enemy lines and took out an entire battalion with his trampling hooves.

The LazorCat carved swathes through the enemies with his lazor. It looked very temporarily painful.

Eventually, the entire enemy army was dead or otherwise occupied (knocked out, paralyzed, etc. beating people up gives many non-lethal options that actually cause more pain and embarrassment than an incontinent uncle at your wedding). The party continued up to the village with no more unfortunate issues. They found the house of the psychic fairly easily, and knocked on the door.

<spoiler=OOC>I'm a goin' to bed. G'night all!
 

cj_iwakura

New member
Mar 2, 2009
745
0
0
"Ah, adventurers." The seated figure watched the visitors from behind the presence of a translucent crystal ball, while favoring the supposed 'party' with an appraisive look.

"You've come a bit late. Typically, I wouldn't accept clients at such an hour, but seeing as how you destroyed that pesky army which had been chasing away business, I'll allow it this once. Whatever it is you want, make it fast, or Munchausen will see you out. I can not ensure your safety if it comes to that."

Elsewhere within the dimly-lit room, an old man observed patiently, behind lenses which were thick enough to glimpse the Dark Side of the Moon©.
 

thehoff

New member
Aug 3, 2008
143
0
0
The group stepped inside and the Lazor Cat pointed a paw at the old man. "Is that Munchausen? How is that old man going to see us out?!" He laughed from atop Spike's shoulder.

The old man got up and started cracking his knuckles as he moved towards the Space Cowboy and the now suddenly nervous Lazor Cat. "It's ok Lazor Cat, I'll bust out my kung fu moves if he gets too close." Spike said before getting flung through the window along with the Lazor Cat.

The old man calmly went back to his chair, ignoring the groans coming from outside. The rest of the group looked around nervously. "Shall we get down to business then?" The psychic said pointing to a table for them to sit. "Yes that sounds good." The Ram said gratefully, eyeing the old man again to make sure he wasn't about to pounce on them
 

Sindaine

New member
Dec 29, 2008
439
0
0
Out of the kicked-open chest sprang a housecat-sized stripy creature, beady black eyes bugging as she scurried around for a moment in evident terror.

"MAYMAYDAYWEALLGONNADIE!!!"

It only took a few seconds for that to wear off, though, and she hopped back onto the lip of the chest to stare at the motley crew gathered around.

"Wow...when'd you all show up? Hey Dave, wake up; we got visitors."

Dave the Chest shuddered with a creaky yawn and the lid swung forward, launching the creature who opened leathery sails attached to her arms and spreadher tail to glide. The brass rivets on the top blinked brighter than before--these, apparently, were his 'eyes'.

"I see that," he replied dolefully, "are they going to shove more nasty-tasting junk inside me?"

"Hey, that last guy only did it to shut you up; you know that!"
 

The_Chief

New member
Jun 3, 2008
2,637
0
0
lazor cat jumped back in and said "you wanna go old man, BRIN IT OOOOWWWNNN!!!!"

but spike stopped him before he fired it. "that would be the worst decision you've made all day. just leave him alone and he wont turn you into an egg roll. psttt i think he's chinese so he'll do that."

the psyhic (cant spell it) said "you must go to the off shore island, there if a cave where my mentor, Mr. Norris, will talk to you more. but beware, there are many trials on the way to the cave of the norris. now, please be on your way. before you and your crazy cat draw more attention and possibly a nuclear strike on our tiny shack. if you do, he can have a can of tuna."

"OK LETS GO NOW FAST GO GO GO!!" Lazor cat said at the hearing of the word tuna.
 

Lastbayking

New member
Mar 19, 2009
171
0
0
On an island in the south pacific.

"Yes sir, the spybots are reporting that this is the magic island that the triforce of courage is."
"That's not the one we were going for..."
"I understand, but the pyschic mentioned that the party would be here, and also is Chuck Norris."
"Good, arm the nuclear weaponary."
With the nukes armed, LBK hit his red button of doom, sending wave after wave of ICMB's straight at the island. The resulting radiation killed all the fish in the sea, and some freshwater too(tuna included). But the island itself stayed unscathed.
"Blast, Chuck Norris and his blast shields."
"Sir, it's not Chuck Norris..."
"Really..."
"Yes, reports indicate that it's actually Greg Norris, a middle school band teacher."
"Oh, then rearm the missles and actually fire at him"

<spoiler=5 minutewarning> You have 5 minutes before I edit this filler to be funnier, smarter, and faster. The timer has started.
 

The_Chief

New member
Jun 3, 2008
2,637
0
0
then, suddenly chuck norris flys into the nuke. he comes out unscathed as says to greg norris,"if you hold the name norris, you are a brother."
 

Ramthundar

New member
Jan 19, 2009
3,878
0
0
Ram blinked in confusion. "Say, who brought the chest with anyway? I thought we left that behind."
The Chest named Dave gave a annoyed grunt. "I followed you. This jerk," indicating the small mouse thing "Wouldn't shut up. Said he had a great entrance he didn't wan't ruined because of dumb Ninja's, whatever that means."
The small furry creature gave the chest a reproachful look, telling it to shut it's lock. It then turned to the adventurers. "Say, mind if we join you guys?" he asked, giving Ram a doefull look.
"Sure," Ram sighed, eyeing the ever increasing group of heroes. "But just try to lag behind, Ok? We are now heading to this Island of Chuck Norris, and are going to try to get his help to get the Triforce!" he finnished with a triumphant pose, trumpets playing behind him.
"Whatever for?" the still-unamed mouse-thing said.
"Well, to use it agains the Last Bay King and Maddawg, of course!" Ram said.
"What, those guys that were fighting each other and bombing the wrong villages and who's armies you defeated with little to no effort?" the mouse-thing politely asked.
"....You know what? Your going to be the quiet brooding one of this group, k?" Ram gruffly said.
"Uh, UH! Can I be the extremely violent but inwardly sensitive one! Cept without the sensitive part, cause the only inward thing in me is MAH LAZORS!" came a familiar voice.
Ram only shook his head and sighed (gosh, he does that a lot, don't he?) and headed over to the coast near the island.

Sindaine said:
Out of the kicked-open chest sprang a housecat-sized stripy creature, beady black eyes bugging as she scurried around for a moment in evident terror.

"MAYMAYDAYWEALLGONNADIE!!!"

It only took a few seconds for that to wear off, though, and she hopped back onto the lip of the chest to stare at the motley crew gathered around.

"Wow...when'd you all show up? Hey Dave, wake up; we got visitors."

Dave the Chest shuddered with a creaky yawn and the lid swung forward, launching the creature who opened leathery sails attached to her arms and spreadher tail to glide. The brass rivets on the top blinked brighter than before--these, apparently, were his 'eyes'.

"I see that," he replied dolefully, "are they going to shove more nasty-tasting junk inside me?"

"Hey, that last guy only did it to shut you up; you know that!"
Ok, first things first, buddy. Be sure to read the story BEFORE posting, and make sure the post makes sense to the current plot line.
Also, to anyone else reading this, can any new characters join the Evil side? We got enough heroes to sink a boat with, which is unfortunate cause we're going to an island. Also, Maddawg seems to have dropped for a while, so we need a Temp. Evil Lord for a while, till he get's back. Thanks
 

maddawg IAJI

I prefer the term "Zomguard"
Feb 12, 2009
7,840
0
0
Ramthundar said:
Ram blinked in confusion. "Say, who brought the chest with anyway? I thought we left that behind."
The Chest named Dave gave a annoyed grunt. "I followed you. This jerk," indicating the small mouse thing "Wouldn't shut up. Said he had a great entrance he didn't wan't ruined because of dumb Ninja's, whatever that means."
The small furry creature gave the chest a reproachful look, telling it to shut it's lock. It then turned to the adventurers. "Say, mind if we join you guys?" he asked, giving Ram a doefull look.
"Sure," Ram sighed, eyeing the ever increasing group of heroes. "But just try to lag behind, Ok? We are now heading to this Island of Chuck Norris, and are going to try to get his help to get the Triforce!" he finnished with a triumphant pose, trumpets playing behind him.
"Whatever for?" the still-unamed mouse-thing said.
"Well, to use it agains the Last Bay King and Maddawg, of course!" Ram said.
"What, those guys that were fighting each other and bombing the wrong villages and who's armies you defeated with little to no effort?" the mouse-thing politely asked.
"....You know what? Your going to be the quiet brooding one of this group, k?" Ram gruffly said.
"Uh, UH! Can I be the extremely violent but inwardly sensitive one! Cept without the sensitive part, cause the only inward thing in me is MAH LAZORS!" came a familiar voice.
Ram only shook his head and sighed (gosh, he does that a lot, don't he?) and headed over to the coast near the island.

Sindaine said:
Out of the kicked-open chest sprang a housecat-sized stripy creature, beady black eyes bugging as she scurried around for a moment in evident terror.

"MAYMAYDAYWEALLGONNADIE!!!"

It only took a few seconds for that to wear off, though, and she hopped back onto the lip of the chest to stare at the motley crew gathered around.

"Wow...when'd you all show up? Hey Dave, wake up; we got visitors."

Dave the Chest shuddered with a creaky yawn and the lid swung forward, launching the creature who opened leathery sails attached to her arms and spreadher tail to glide. The brass rivets on the top blinked brighter than before--these, apparently, were his 'eyes'.

"I see that," he replied dolefully, "are they going to shove more nasty-tasting junk inside me?"

"Hey, that last guy only did it to shut you up; you know that!"
Ok, first things first, buddy. Be sure to read the story BEFORE posting, and make sure the post makes sense to the current plot line.
Also, to anyone else reading this, can any new characters join the Evil side? We got enough heroes to sink a boat with, which is unfortunate cause we're going to an island. Also, Maddawg seems to have dropped for a while, so we need a Temp. Evil Lord for a while, till he get's back. Thanks
Whos says im missing
 

maddawg IAJI

I prefer the term "Zomguard"
Feb 12, 2009
7,840
0
0
While the group ventured to get a boat Maddawg decided to get a headstart on finding the Triforce. Maddawg landed on the magical islan. "Grind" "Where i dont see it?" "Grind" "I dont see it. You know what i think your lying". "Grind" "There you go again. look I dont think the island looks like a skull."




"Grind". "I know were lost okay now stop rubbing it in my face". "Grind?" "Who are we going to ask huh that rock that rolling log that rick rolling log" "NEVER GUNNA GIVE YOU UP" says the rick rolling log who was then destroyed by a boomshot. "I HATE THIS ISLAND." *sighs* Lets just get this stupid triangle and leave" "Grind" "THATS IT YOUR FIRED. You grunt boy your my new advisor" The Grinder advisor ran away crying while Maddawg trudged through the swampy Island.
 

Lastbayking

New member
Mar 19, 2009
171
0
0
Lastbayking stood jaw agape, staring at Chuck Norris. "But...But your not real."
"Oh yes I am." Said Chuck in a booming, commanding voice that almost sent LBK flying.
"But...I can't defeat you no one can..."
"I know." Chuck ran full speed at LBK, smacking him around in the air like a lead balloon. Bayknights ran out to help there leader, but were all kicked down at the same time. Iniate assistant ran away screaming, but Chuck grabbed him(While beating Bayking) and forcibly ripped off his head. All around was blood and gore, and more gore. But The bayking himself was barely alive, lying face down in the surf and sand, waves pounding his useless body. Chuck Norris glided down next to him.
"Please...Chuck...I only came here for the triforce of courage."
"Oh this useless thing." He said pulling the glowing, levitating triangle out of his pocket."Why didn't you just say so. Here." The bayking preceded to pass out.

In evil parts unknown, Washington D.C.
"Sir, our stolen spybots have been found." A scribe ran up to Elder Lyons of the real Bos.
"So have we found that fool Bay king?" Said the old leader, his face old but his voice the same as Chuck Norris.
"No, but recordings show him getting his ass handed to him by anamorphic creatures."
"Hm...I see."
"Also he's questing after the triforce."
"The fool, does he not realize we have the triforce of wisdom in our vaults."
"I don't believe so."
"Hmp, send our army of Steel members, unite with the west coast, and attack Wisconsin. The time of the bayking is over. And kill these things, there werid." Leader Lyon turned and marched away.

<Spoiler=New evil villain supreme> If you thought *last evil villains name removed for flame war* was bad, I'm hereby establishing Elder Lyons as the main bad guy and super villain De Facto. Should be fun. Also sorry for grammar and spelling, I'm not at my normal computer and it's writing check.
 

The_Chief

New member
Jun 3, 2008
2,637
0
0
"ok now , lets get on a boat and get to the coast, if it holds the norris it holds the power. also i heard its a fishing boat. so go!!". the gang hopped on the boat and went to the island. it was a treacherous 10 minute trip.
 

maddawg IAJI

I prefer the term "Zomguard"
Feb 12, 2009
7,840
0
0
Maddawg had crawled and cut his way to the east side of the island where all he found was a pile of dead bodys and destroyed buildings. "What do you think happened here Grunt Advivsor" "Wraaaaaa" "Ya i wouldnt be surpirsed if it was some kind of plot device either. Hey mabye that guy knows what happened here" said Maddawg pointing to the only man standing.
Maddawg walks over to the guy and asks" Hey buddy you know where i can find a triangle of courage thing." The man turns around and immeaditly recongzies the man. "I am not your buddy" Gregg Norris then roundhouse kicks Maddawg and Maddawg went flying. Greg Norris chased after Maddawg. "Maddawg flew across the beach before landing. When he saw Gregg coming back for another pass he grabbed his grunt advisor and asked "How about a trade?" Gregg then stopped and asked "What kind of trade? "You give me the triangle of Courage and I'll give you this monkey" Gregg thinks about this for a moment before agreeing to the trade.Gregg ran back to get the Triforce back from LBK. Gregg stared at LBK before saying "Sorry partner but i need this for my dinner" Gregg then took the triforce and ran back to Maddawg Gregg took the grunt and handed Maddawg the Triforce of courage.

Maddawg held up his prize and for some reason a horn played DUHDUHDUHDUH. Maddawg looked around for the source of the sound. He gave up on finding the source and followed the beach around the island. He looked at the ocean and saw a boat on the horizon. It wouldnt have bothered him if a red laser hadent been fired from the boat. Maddawg knew that it was the laser cat and had to get off the island before they arrived. just then Maddawg was hit from behind and knocked out.


Yeah gregg plans on eating the grunt.
 

RagnorakTres

New member
Feb 10, 2009
1,869
0
0
"Gee, Lazor, not like anyone on the island can see that blast at all" said Logician. "I mean I know you're pissed the fish are gone, but sheesh, our quest is hard enough with conflicting plotlines and all, let's just tip the scales in our enemies' favors even more"
"Sorry. Just couldn't control myself." mumbled the lazor cat.
<color=turquoise>Hey, owner of Abacus over there. You're always bragging about how logic is "all-powerful." How 'bout a demonstration? Teleport us to that island. I bet you can't.
"You know, Rag, she's really starting to get on my nerves. Anything you can do?"
"I'll take a look at her personality chip." Ragnorak rummaged around in the computer. "Yep, that's the problem. She's supposed to be a really nice person, but this wire got crossed. Let me just...there!" Ragnorak closed the lid of the cube. <color=turquoise>I apologize, Logician. My personality chip was out of whack. I'm still calling the laptop "Abacus" though.
<color=navy>That's just mean.
"You still have a lot to learn about women, Jerry." laughed Ram. "But Helena made a good point there. Why didn't we just have you teleport us there?"
"I...don't know. Well then, let's go!" and the Logician snapped his fingers. The party watched the boat dissolve and an island resolve (opposite of dissolve?) around them. There was a large crater in the ground not far away and the party wandered over to investigate. They found maddawg and LBK knocked out and Chuck Norris smoking a cigarette like the badass he is. "They tried to take the Triforce. So I knocked them out. Quit glaring at me!"
"You should have just killed them. Now we have to continue to deal with their antics.' said Ram. "Oh well, can we have the Triforce?"
"yeah, just a second. weird thing is, a little dude came by recently, saw me, and ran off. If he wanted the Triforce, all he had to do was ask. I'm really a nice guy, as evidenced by how I backed Mike Huckabee for President, despite his chances being lower than those of a snowball on the Sun." As he said this, Chuck reached behind him and grabbed a glowing crystal from an alcove behind him. He handed it the Ram, who held it between his horns while Jerry played a sarcastic rendition of the LoZ victory theme. The party then was teleported to the shoreline by the Logician and they continued on their merry way.
 

maddawg IAJI

I prefer the term "Zomguard"
Feb 12, 2009
7,840
0
0
Just then Maddawg came to and looked at Chuck Norris "What the hell it was a fair deal". Chuck simply replied back with "The monkey ran away so i wanted the triforce back." Chuck threw away his cigar and put a new one in his mouth. He then began rummaging for his lighter.

"You know what"said Maddawg "We got started off on the wrong foot. Here let me light your cigar for you. Maddawg then took out his flamethrower and lit Chuck Norris on fire. As Chuck ran for the ocean to put himself out Maddawg called for a reaver and managed to escape.
 

Ramthundar

New member
Jan 19, 2009
3,878
0
0
Ram thought he saw a flash near the island. "Hmm, Chuck Norris must be having a BBQ going on." Ram then turned to the group. "Well, men (and various animals, creatures, and AI) we've got the triforce! The almighty power! Which is weird, cause that was way easy. Don't know why Link always get's so flustered getting these."
Suddenly, the earth began to quake, crumbling nearby houses and trees. The ground began to crack, and a resonating voice was heard
I'LL SHOW YOU WHY!
 

terribleyetfun

New member
Jan 9, 2009
1,982
0
0
the heroes fell through the earth and ended up in a large circular room with a door on the far side next to it: Mr.yetfun
"hey i thought I rickroll`d you" logician said pointing his finger.
"yeah too bad for you I`m trained in internet meme resistance so it was completely useless I just had to pick up my dry cleaning which by the way I thought you were going to do" Mr.yetfun said holding up a dry cleaning bag.
"so what`s with the whole dumping us in this room" ram asked
"well now you have the triforce you have to earn the ability to use it by going through this enormously elaborate dungeon with several monsters and traps fight about three giant monsters oh" Mr.yetfun said with a sinister smile on his face.
"oh hell no screw that" laser cat said charging his laser firing at mr.yet fun but missing instead hitting the door blasting it open.
"hey you saved me having to open it thanks and now bye-bye" Mr.yetfun then pulled a lever to the right of him activating the conveneyer belt under the heroes sending them flying through the door and into the dungeon