The Feminine Female

[Dragunai]

I am very attracted to feminine women. The sort of girl who is happy to wear bright coloured skirts down past her knee and a long ponytail with hair adornments. Girls who have a soft demeanour and are gentle in their actions.

Again, personal views and perceptions and if your own differ than so be it, I am not here to tell you what is and is not.

What I do want to discuss is a small handful of things.

First off.

Men - What do you consider a feminine girl to be?
Girls - Do you agree? What do you consider feminine to be in your own gender.

Second.

Am I the only man who thinks that its hard to find girls who act / dress feminine these days?

my 1st ever serious relationship was when I was 19 with a Very feminine girl who did the above and I loved her deeply. I will confess due to my own poor attitude and weak / lack of willpower I lost her to an addiction to gaming I have now conquered (getting into learning to play the bass guitar and later a regular one, but thats not relevant now), but that love lasted for 2yrs despite a few emotional issues she had due to her family life and some poor choices in men before me which I wont go into detail about.

Needless to say she had a hard time making them last before me and I hope that the man she loves now does a better job than I and I also hope she grew stonger in our time together. I will also admit I still think about her from time to time and as of the 23rd (which at time of writing was 6 minutes ago, haha) I am 24.

Third.

I live in the UK and I know that we are on the tail end of winter. I dont need to be told that skirts are a poor choice in cold weather because its pretty obvious to anyone with eyes and a working brain that so much skin exposure or such thin cloth wont do much to guard against the chill.

However, even in summer I very rarely see girly girls wondering around and if they are there and I am not seeing them, its probably because all I ever see is girls in Jeans. This isn't a shovanistic point but perhaps it is a point that is backed by an innocently poor reasoning.

So that being the case.

Has the defition of what makes a girl feminine changed? Am I wrong to maintain my old definitions of what makes a feminine woman?

I ask in all seriousness.

Anyone who reads this thread and sees it as a offensive I apologise, it was not intended to be.


This thread is open to anyone with an honest, fair and pleasent opinion.

Incedently I didnt mention anything about what makes a girl pretty at any point. This thread is nothing to do with a womans body or face. It IS to do with how she acts, carries herself and dresses.

Edited in relation Dags90's point on girly girl / feminine woman.

 

[Dragunai]

Why is any of those offensive?
Its a discussion on what people define as feminine and whether the girls on this board agree. I even asked them to put their own thoughts on the matter.

Like I said, It wasnt designed to be offensive and there is no offensive media in this thread.

 

[Sightless Wisdom]

Your asking a lot of questions there... I'll just say that perceptions of gender traits have changed very drastically over the years and I think they will continue to. This of course is a good thing, change is always good. Though to be perfectly honest, I don't care what femininity is, whether or not I'm attracted to a girl doesn't have a big part to do with whether or not they are very "feminine". Every person is different and it would be useless to really say that one trait is going to be common among all personalities and mannerisms in every female on the planet.

 

[Dags90]

For one, I think it's bad to conflate "girly" and "feminine". At a certain point you stop seeing "girly girls" and start seeing "feminine women" because a 20 year old dressing like a 10 year old is just creepy.

I would consider things like butterfly berets and scrunchies to be kind of juvenile for an adult woman to be wearing. With scrunchies doubling as very 90's.

 

[Dragunai]

For one, I think it's bad to conflate "girly" and "feminine". At a certain point you stop seeing "girly girls" and start seeing "feminine women".

I would consider things like butterfly berets and scrunchies to be kind of juvenile for an adult woman to be wearing. With scrunchies doubling as very 90's.

I guess you make a fair point.
The scrunchie thing was more a reflection of when I was in high school. One of the girls I had a crush on used to wear one with a butterfly on it and I was using that as a personal reference.

But I will take your advice and edit my post to convey the girly and feminine aspect as you are right.

Though to be perfectly honest, I don't care what femininity is, whether or not I'm attracted to a girl doesn't have a big part to do with whether or not they are very "feminine". Every person is different and it would be useless to really say that one trait is going to be common among all personalities and mannerisms in every female on the planet.

Thats a fair point but I was saying that I find them attractive as one point of quality.

 

[willard3]

So you like girls in skirts...that's ok. But jeans do not necessarily make girls "not girly" or "not feminine" or even "not soft." I know plenty of soft-demeanored girls who like to wear jeans and not skirts.

 

[kuyo]

like porn, I know it when I see it.
Oh, and pink is just good for anything.

 

[Dragunai]

What's wrong with scrunchies? It's just an accessory for making pony tails. Ditto butterfly clips. Why is that equated with being juvenile?

I did wonder that myself, but I dont want this thread becoming hate filled.
Easier to just simply avoid girls feeling sterotyped or abashed.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

I see your point and I'm completely there with you. I love seeing girls wearing dresses, skirts, leggings, and in bright colors and done up hair. There's just something about the uber femme that gets my motor running. It's just a preference, and I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

 

[Dragunai]

What's wrong with scrunchies? It's just an accessory for making pony tails. Ditto butterfly clips. Why is that equated with being juvenile?

I did wonder that myself, but I dont want this thread becoming hate filled.
Easier to just simply avoid girls feeling sterotyped or abashed.

If that happens, I don't think it will be your fault. Like I said, this is just a question of taste. Only someone with a person problem will try to make an issue and get offended.

Which seems to be 90% of the internet these days haha.
I presented my OP with 3 fair questions that either gender can wade in on without either having to feel kicked and down.

I want to know if the girls agree and if they dont, I want them to explain what defines them as feminine. Its not a rant, its not a hate speech. Im just a reclusive guy who lives very far away from any major settlements and therefore cannot get into social settings often to construct a stronger foundation to set this on.

 

[Eldarion]

I am very attracted to feminine women. The sort of girl who is happy to wear bright coloured skirts down past her knee and a long ponytail with hair adornments. Girls who have a soft demeanour and are gentle in their actions.

Be careful, just an fyi not all girls that dress that way are really girls. There is an entire fashion based around dressing like that and boys do it too.

On topic= I can appreciate a feminine partner. Soft, gentle, good listener, likes to discuss their and my feelings, willing to be vulnerable in affectionate moments. ect.

 

[Nimcha]

I suppose I can sympathize a bit. I mean I'm really for the diminishing of socially constructed restrictive gender roles and such... but really what's wrong with some things just being feminine? I like wearing girly things and I like girls who do the same. I understand why some women feel like making a point by wearing suits and such but that really shouldn't be necessary. Although I must confess I do like wearing jeans, they're just easy you know? But jeans aren't necessarily masculine I think.

Anyway, point of all my rambling, does it really do so much damage to just see some things as feminine and some as masculine? Besides that those views evolve as time goes on. For example, in the 19th century pink was considered a colour for boys, while blue was a girly colour.

 

[Dags90]

What's wrong with scrunchies? It's just an accessory for making pony tails. Ditto butterfly clips. Why is that equated with being juvenile?

They're generally associated with younger girls, outside of brief mainstream popularity for scrunchies in the 90's. It's a lot like how pigtails are a hairstyle associated with young girls.

My mom doesn't wear dresses because she hates carrying a purse around.

 

[Hader]

Trying to connect two-and-two with femininity and what makes that is just too opinionated. And when you ask guys about that, it just gets ever more crazy. People have their tastes. That's that.

I like a girl for much more than her femininity, but that's not the best way to put it. I am attracted to females, so their is the sexual component, and beyond that, it really is personality and all the little things that make the person that matter.

\Stopping before I ramble too much/

 

[Clockwork-Fox]

Personally, I wouldn't be caught dead in a scrunchy, because I don't want to look like I'm from the 80's or that my mother does my hair. And skirts below the knee are awkward unless I'm going to church or its a really nice dress. Otherwise, I'm just going to stick with pants.

I suppose at what I'm getting at is yes, your view of feminine is a antiquated. Those kinds of girls would be common in the 50's but not now. Feminine now is soft makeup, pastel prints, sun dresses, and sandals. Since most girls only tie their hair up in scrunchies when they're working.

But assuming that their clothes are going to give a way a soft demeanor is not very reliable. In fact, you probably won't even notice them because they're so... average looking. Most girls I know who are soft are also soft spoken and don't like attention called to themselves.