The Gay Community.

[Valen_Starwalker]

This is no way a hate speech, bashing people, because they're gay, or anything of the sort. Please keep civil. This is clear a discussion on how the Gay Community acts, and behaves.

I am not against gays. I am 100% of doing whatever the fuck you want as long as it's not killing puppies, and babies. (And some other things to) but really don't care what you are, what you wear, what you like. My problem is the way people behave, and act.

In my life from what I read/see/hear/experience I find that the majority of the gay community are bunch of ignorant, arrogant, self-rightness, rude, disrespectful, and plainly just act like a bunch of little kids when things don't go there way.

Today on facebook my friend posted a picture saying how straight people breed cancer, and other insensitive things. How it's more likely that straight parents beat their kids. Etc. Even if it's true it was insanely disrespectful.

Even if it's true/fact it still doesn't justify the behavior. Two wrongs do not make a right.

Now I know that the Gay Community has had terrible things down to them, but is this behavior from them show that they're just really a bunch of little kids? (Some of them at least)

In the comments section I kinda said in a summed up paragraph.

"I find this disrespectful, and plain down rude. I don't care what the Gay Community been through if they act like this. They want respect, and to be treated fairly. That's fine, and cool. Everyone should be treated fairly, and nice. But I hate it when the majority Gay community act like they're so superior then everyone else for just being gay. They act like they're so much better than anyone else, and how those people are just ignorant, and not educated."

And then some Lesbian friend of my friend comes along, and says this.

" Being a lesbian, let me put it to you this way...I don't care who you are, if you are kind to me, I will be kind to you even if I don't agree with you. I'm not going to go start a protest and stomp on your beliefs and rights...therefore, this separates me from these other "pro-gay straight bashers" you speak of therefore invalidating your argument...let's go ahead and get to the real point here...you hate gays and would like to make it known. It's okay, I understand you are ignorant and closed minded and I accept that, but I do not hate you and I wish you the very best."



What? She just did exactly what I hate about them! It just proves my point that they act like a bunch of little kids when someone disagrees with them about anything. I never said anything about hating gays for being gay. I hate the way they act towards other people. They act superior, and self-righteous just because they're gay.


Now my friend Kate defends her left, and right. Even though the evidence is right there on the page.


Summing up here.. I know that not all gays are like this. I have met a few that are nice, and they don't have this snobby attitude about them.. but most of them that I meet are just plain down rude.

So my questions are..

Do you think the Gay Community should grow up a bit, and stop being so disrespectful towards other people? Are your experiences any different? Do you know anyone gays that don't do this?

And why in the hell do people defend something even though it's directly staring them in the face?

My captcha thing was.. "No soup for you" I guess I am not having soup. :/

 

[Vault101]

your still generalising

and the sad fact is there are twats in all groups..no matter how marginalised. and will use that marginalisation as an excuse to be a twat

like feminists who think drag is "offensive to women" or some such shit

eather way don't lump them all together..it will only annoy people

 

[DoPo]

I am not against gays. I am 100% of doing whatever the fuck you want as long as it's not killing puppies, and babies. (And some other things to)

And straight people can do that? Homophobe!

Anyway

In my life from what I read/see/hear/experience I find that the majority of the gay community are bunch of ignorant, arrogant, self-rightness, rude, disrespectful, and plainly just act like a bunch of little kids when things don't go there way.

1. I don't think it's the majority 2. I think you actually described gamers there.

Do you think the Gay Community should grow up a bit, and stop being so disrespectful towards other people? Are your experiences any different? Do you know anyone gays that don't do this?

Yes, I know plenty... well, actually, it would be easier to say I know very few that do it at all. I don't know where you pulled up "the majority" there. Moreover, I don't think you have a problem with homosexuals but with people, as, from my experience, it's not sexual orientation that makes somebody behave as you described. Heck, go ahead and click on any thread with more than 4-5 pages of comments and you'll probably see the exact same thing regardless of the topic. Or just swing by R&P. Either the Escapist has a lot of homosexuals visiting it, or the two aren't really connected.

 

[ClockworkPenguin]

[I don't know the code, so just imagine this is in sarcastic font]
Wow, your anecdotal evidence of a homosexual aquaintance being an arsehole is totally a damning indictment of homosexuals generally. This totally doesn't come across as you trying to find a reason to hate on a group you already dislike' [/sarcasm]

I also have friends who are LGBT but I can't say I've noticed anything of the sort. Even if I had, there's no reason to criticise everyone who shares a characteristic with them, just 'cos they did something I disapproved of.

Also, its highly likely that the post was an ironic statement parodying the ridiculous things fundamentalist groups say about homosexuals. I would go so far as to say that that was almost certainly what happened.

 

[ohnoitsabear]

Wait a minute, let me see if I'm getting this right. There was a guy being a total twat on facebook, and because he happened to be a gay guy being a dick about gay things, the entire gay community consists of self-righteous fuck-heads? Yeah, I don't think so.

Look, I take no issue with you being offended by that guy on facebook (he really does sound like he was being a massive asshole), but please, please don't generalize the behavior of a group based on the behavior of an individual (or even multiple individuals).

 

[Valen_Starwalker]

I am not against gays. I am 100% of doing whatever the fuck you want as long as it's not killing puppies, and babies. (And some other things to)

And straight people can do that? Homophobe!

Anyway

In my life from what I read/see/hear/experience I find that the majority of the gay community are bunch of ignorant, arrogant, self-rightness, rude, disrespectful, and plainly just act like a bunch of little kids when things don't go there way.

1. I don't think it's the majority 2. I think you actually described gamers there.

Do you think the Gay Community should grow up a bit, and stop being so disrespectful towards other people? Are your experiences any different? Do you know anyone gays that don't do this?

Yes, I know plenty... well, actually, it would be easier to say I know very few that do it at all. I don't know where you pulled up "the majority" there. Moreover, I don't think you have a problem with homosexuals but with people, as, from my experience, it's not sexual orientation that makes somebody behave as you described. Heck, go ahead and click on any thread with more than 4-5 pages of comments and you'll probably see the exact same thing regardless of the topic. Or just swing by R&P. Either the Escapist has a lot of homosexuals visiting it, or the two aren't really connected.

._. Well it may just be in my area then.
I met one person who is homosexual, and he's an awesome dude, and all.
But it just seems like I met people who are homosexuals just seem a little snobby to me.
But this is just in my experience, and I have also read some stuff on the news that make them seem a little disrespectful.

 

[SaetonChapelle]

I have quite a few friends who are homosexual. Point is, all people of all groups can be at times arrogant, ignorant, and disrespectful. I don't know about the experiences you've had, but get a large enough group of people together and such occurrences will happen, regardless.

 

[Valen_Starwalker]

Wait a minute, let me see if I'm getting this right. There was a guy being a total twat on facebook, and because he happened to be a gay guy being a dick about gay things, the entire gay community consists of self-righteous fuck-heads? Yeah, I don't think so.

Look, I take no issue with you being offended by that guy on facebook (he really does sound like he was being a massive asshole), but please, please don't generalize the behavior of a group based on the behavior of an individual (or even multiple individuals).

Noooo!
Not my meaning at all.
It was just one case that sparked this forum. There plenty other reasons why I think this as well.
But I didn't post them in forum, because I didn't want it be too long.

 

[Dags90]

._. Well it may just be in my area then.
I met one person who is homosexual, and he's an awesome dude, and all.
But it just seems like I met people who are homosexuals just seem a little snobby to me.
But this is just in my experience, and I have also read some stuff on the news that make them seem a little disrespectful.

Because news articles are never biased or written with the express intent of stirring up controversy. You know what won't ever make the news? "Gay couple live life without incident, bake cookies for neighbor". Never going to sell a paper with stories like that.

Gay people are not a hive mind. There really is no singular "gay community" that represents all gay people.

Your whole post reeks of us/them tribalism.

 

[Valen_Starwalker]

._. Well it may just be in my area then.
I met one person who is homosexual, and he's an awesome dude, and all.
But it just seems like I met people who are homosexuals just seem a little snobby to me.
But this is just in my experience, and I have also read some stuff on the news that make them seem a little disrespectful.

Because news articles are never biased or written with the express intent of stirring up controversy. You know what won't ever make the news? "Gay couple live life without incident, bake cookies for neighbor". Never going to sell a paper with stories like that.

Gay people are not a hive mind. There really is no singular "gay community" that represents all gay people.

Your whole post reeks of us/them tribalism.

Now I understand that news is biased, and they spin stories around like crazy.

But there have been a few cases where that just wasn't the case; that they were genuinely just being rude to a group of people.

o.e and I can't be blamed if all I see is a bunch of pricks, and a few good ones. So don't go there.
If this was the other way around. I wouldn't have made this forum.

I'm talking out of my experiences.

 

[ohnoitsabear]

Noooo!
Not my meaning at all.
It was just one case that sparked this forum. There plenty other reasons why I think this as well.
But I didn't post them in forum, because I didn't want it be too long.

Still, you're using personal experiences to generalize a very large and diverse group of people. This doesn't work for several reasons.

1. The instances of gay people acting like snobs stick out much more than the when they act like normal people. Because these instances stick out more, it is easy to (incorrectly) assume that this is what happens a majority of the time.

2. Once you develop a belief (like say, most gay people are rude), you're much more likely to notice when you have an experience that supports your belief, instead of one that doesn't.

3. You probably have met people that are gay that you didn't know are gay and don't fit into your perception of what a majority of gays are like. In fact, I think its safe to say that this is true of just about everybody.

4. I'm guessing you haven't interacted with a large enough amount of gay people to make remotely accurate generalizations. I'm sort of assuming on this point, because you may have a thousand gay friends, so if I'm wrong about this correct me.

I'm sorry that I'm being a little assuming and confrontational here, but it just really rustles my jimmies when people make generalizations of a group based on nothing more than a few personal experiences that match that generalization. This is how stereotyping and bigotry get started, and I think we can both agree that those are bad things.

 

[Dags90]

4. I'm guessing you haven't interacted with a large enough amount of gay people to make remotely accurate generalizations. I'm sort of assuming on this point, because you may have a thousand gay friends, so if I'm wrong about this correct me.

Here's a good test:

How close do the gay people you've met match local demographics regarding race, age, and other factors. Extremely small sample sizes are much more likely to show extreme divergence from local demographics.

 

[Valen_Starwalker]

Noooo!
Not my meaning at all.
It was just one case that sparked this forum. There plenty other reasons why I think this as well.
But I didn't post them in forum, because I didn't want it be too long.

Still, you're using personal experiences to generalize a very large and diverse group of people. This doesn't work for several reasons.

1. The instances of gay people acting like snobs stick out much more than the when they act like normal people. Because these instances stick out more, it is easy to (incorrectly) assume that this is what happens a majority of the time.

2. Once you develop a belief (like say, most gay people are rude), you're much more likely to notice when you have an experience that supports your belief, instead of one that doesn't.

3. You probably have met people that are gay that you didn't know are gay and don't fit into your perception of what a majority of gays are like. In fact, I think its safe to say that this is true of just about everybody.

4. I'm guessing you haven't interacted with a large enough amount of gay people to make remotely accurate generalizations. I'm sort of assuming on this point, because you may have a thousand gay friends, so if I'm wrong about this correct me.

I'm sorry that I'm being a little assuming and confrontational here, but it just really rustles my jimmies when people make generalizations of a group based on nothing more than a few personal experiences that match that generalization. This is how stereotyping and bigotry get started, and I think we can both agree that those are bad things.

You are right. I am kinda being over-zealous, but it's all I really see. I have met a few gays who don't act like pricks, but there a lower to number from the people I met.

I also have met a lot of people who homosexual. I met tons of people due to my work, and I also travel to different states during my job if I need to. I've been working for the past 3-4 years now.

It's okay that you're being a little assuming. I don't mind, after all this is an open discussion. As long as you're civilized about it.

As for the supporting belief. I keep an open mind things, and I know that not all x group/xwhatever here are going to be terrible, or good.

 

[Terminal Blue]

snip

Err.. dude.. that's not what the "gay community" is.

"Gay community" isn't a byword for "most gay people" which you can use to throw out random general insults while dodging flak for the fact that what you're actually saying is that you find gay people objectionable because of one person's actions. If I judged straight people as part of a "straight community" and assumed that every time a straight person did or said something unpleasant it meant that all straight people were like that, I'd be on a killing spree by now.

An actual "gay community" is based around the social activities which gay people get up to and the ways in which they meet and interact with each other, and while that may include an element of shared behavioural norms but it can also include all kinds of things from the bars and clubs you go to, how you meet partners all the way to joining university LGBT-socs and things like that. Gay people do not inherently have anything more in common than straight people beyond the fact that they're gay, you can't use the term "gay community" to make a general point about all (or even most) gay people everywhere. That's not what it is, and not how it works.

Now, it sounds like what your gay friend posted was a bit tasteless and sounds pretty wrong, but fuck it.. you went off on a rant about how gay people are all rude and unpleasant and now you're honestly accusing someone else of acting like a child? If you didn't like the picture you could have responded in many different ways, but you chose to turn it into an attack on gay people in general. I'm not surprised your friends are pissed off.

I don't care if you meant to come off as a raging homophobe, I imagine your friends don't either, they're going to care about what you're actually like. Most people who behave badly towards gay people don't actually think they're homophobic either, but from what you've said, it sounds like you came off that way pretty clearly, because you clearly feel it's okay to talk about how "the gay community" are all rude and unpleasant when what you actually mean, and what is obvious to anyone remotely familiar with the real meaning of the term "gay community", is "gay people". I'm sorry, but if you said "I don't hate black people because they're black, I hate them because they're aggressive and stupid" you would still be a racist. You're still assigning characteristics to people based on your own prejudices and failing to treat people as individuals, which means you're still failing to treat them as equal.

Seriously, if this is how you talk about gay people I'm not surprised they come off as snobby and arrogant towards you.

Edit: Sorry, I know I'm being overly aggressive but I'm just trying to bring home why what you've said would make someone upset (and indeed why other people maybe don't see your comments in the same way you do) because I totally see how it would. I'm not personally upset, I have nothing against you, I'm just trying to help you understand.

 

[Valen_Starwalker]

snip

Err.. dude.. that's not what the "gay community" is.

"Gay community" isn't a byword for "most gay people" which you can use to throw out random general insults while dodging flak for the fact that what you're actually saying is that you find gay people objectionable because of one person's actions. If I judged straight people as part of a "straight community" and assumed that every time a straight person did or said something unpleasant it meant that all straight people were like that, I'd be on a killing spree by now.

An actual "gay community" is based around the social activities which gay people get up to and the ways in which they meet and interact with each other, and while that may include an element of shared behavioural norms but it can also include all kinds of things from the bars and clubs you go to, how you meet partners all the way to joining university LGBT-socs and things like that. Gay people do not inherently have anything more in common than straight people beyond the fact that they're gay, you can't use the term "gay community" to make a general point about all (or even most) gay people everywhere. That's not what it is, and not how it works.

Now, it sounds like what your gay friend posted was a bit tasteless and sounds pretty wrong, but fuck it.. you went off on a rant about how gay people are all rude and unpleasant and now you're honestly accusing someone else of acting like a child? If you didn't like the picture you could have responded in many different ways, but you chose to turn it into an attack on gay people in general. I'm not surprised your friends are pissed off.

I don't care if you meant to come off as a raging homophobe, neither do your friends. Most people who behave like cunts towards gay people don't actually think they're homophobic, but from what you've said, it sounds like you came off that way pretty clearly, because you clearly feel it's okay to talk about how "the gay community" are all rude and unpleasant when what you actually mean, and what is obvious to anyone remotely familiar with the real meaning of the term "gay community", is "gay people". I'm sorry, but if you said "I don't hate black people because they're black, I hate them because they're aggressive and stupid" you would still be a racist. You're still assigning characteristics to people based on your own prejudices and failing to treat people as individuals, which means you're still failing to treat them as equal.

Seriously, if this is how you talk about gay people I'm not surprised they come off as snobby and arrogant towards you.

I also never said everyone. I said majority, and in my experiences.
I don't meet someone, and pre-judge them. I just judge on how they talk/act.
I hate everyone equally when I first see them until they start talking, and then I really decide if I shall continue hating them, or if I should like them.

o.e and again. This is all in my experience, and what I see. It's not my fault. >.> Maybe I should get out of my state?

 

[Vault101]

I also never said everyone. I said majority, and in my experiences.
I don't meet someone, and pre-judge them. I just judge on how they talk/act.
I hate everyone equally when I first see them until they start talking, and then I really decide if I shall continue hating them, or if I should like them.

o.e and again. This is all in my experience, and what I see. It's not my fault. >.> Maybe I should get out of my state?

I don;t really know what your trying to say here...because unless you actually go to lots and lots of gay bars/LBGT events and hangout with alot of gay people (not just how many youve met) then really all this is, is your own personal experience and not a snapshot of the majority of gay peple regardless of weather or not they are part of the "comunity"

essentially all this comes down to is "people can be dicks regardless" other than that what more is there to say? I don;t think gayness has everyhting to do with it

 

[Terminal Blue]

I also never said everyone. I said majority, and in my experiences.

Yeah, but you shouldn't have said that like it mattered. Even if in your life you do notice generalizations about people you know you still have to treat them as individuals or they're going to get upset, because they will (perhaps rightly) imagine that you don't actually see them as themselves, you just see them as "a gay person". They're not going to be reassured by the fact that they're part of the small minority of gay people you don't hate.

It's like saying "I'm not a racist, I met a black doctor once and he was very smart and kind". By saying that, you're still insulting black people in general. You're implying that you see their skin colour (and judge it) before you see them.

I just judge on how they talk/act.

But you are prejudging when you say things like "The gay community act like ..."

I'm not saying you'd actually discriminate against an individual. I'm pretty sure if you met a gay person tomorrow you wouldn't just assume they will act like your image of a stereotypical gay person. But if you're willing to apply your experience generally, then that's a form of prejudice too, because when you meet someone they're either going to be "a good gay person" or "a typical gay person", and that's not fair. I think Ohnoitsabear made a really good point, if you look for these things in people, they're going to bother you.

I'm not going to make any assumptions, but do you wonder if maybe you might be a little sensitive to some of these things?

Maybe I should get out of my state?

I don't think it would help.

I think if you're going to keep looking for these things every time you meet a gay person, you're going to find them. More importantly, what your lesbian friend said in particular was very much a reaction to you. It may be that perhaps you're doing or saying something which makes gay people react in a particular way to you, not necessarily anything really bad but if you're treating them like a single category of people who you can love or hate (even with a few exceptions) a lot of people are going to pick up on that, especially a lot of gay people because they get treated like that all the time.

Again, sorry.. I don't mean to be in your face about this. I'm just trying to help, and probably going about it the wrong way.

 

[hazabaza1]

The biggest problem is people having a go at others on things that don't fucking matter.
Race, gender, sexuality, age, height, prefers regular milk over chocolate, whether or not you get off to pictures of animal people fucking. Superficial shit.

Personally, I think "is someone a ****?" If yes, then I'll show my distaste. If not, then what the fuck does it matter?

 

[disgruntledgamer]

Do you think the Gay Community should grow up a bit, and stop being so disrespectful towards other people? Are your experiences any different? Do you know anyone gays that don't do this?

And why in the hell do people defend something even though it's directly staring them in the face?

My captcha thing was.. "No soup for you" I guess I am not having soup. :/

No there are immature morons in every group of society it isn't just limited to the Gay Community. Let me tell you something dude the best friend you'll ever have is a gay guy. Why because they have a lot of straight women friends and they will hook you up. Sure they might hit on you when they're drunk, but the benefits far outweigh the negatives.

Gay, Lesbian, Transgender. Whatever man when I encounter someone who's totally against homosexuality it's usually for the same reasons why they reject evolution. Stupidity. Think about it this way for every gay guy out there means less competition for you, and lesbians are hot so I don't see a negative.

 

[Vault101]

Gay, Lesbian, Transgender. Whatever man when I encounter someone who's totally against homosexuality it's usually for the same reasons why they reject evolution. Stupidity. Think about it this way man for every gay guy out there means less competition for you and lesbians are hot so I don't see a negative.

when you think about it...I find it really bizare...its essentially saying

"I care about who you fuck, it bothers me, stop it please"