The glass is half full...or is it?

[the monopoly guy]

Time for the philosophy question of the week.

Is the glass half full, or half empty?

A pessimist sees the glass half empty
An optimist sees it half full

A cynic thinks that it doesn't matter whether the glass is half full or half empty, because he's pretty sure someone pissed in the glass

A glutton drinks it regardless
A hedon wants it to be completely full, and for it all to be his
A dreamer believes one day it will be filled with liquid rainbows
A realist sees a shaped piece of clear silicon, containing half its maximum capacity of liquid
A politician promises to fill the glass
A communist shares it
A narcissist just sees his reflection



What do you think, is the glass half full or half empty, or something else? Got anymore examples?

EDIT: lets stay away from some of the more offensive stuff

 

[countrysteaksauce]

A capitalist tries to sell it to you claiming its full.
A conman tries to sell it to you claiming its full.
A pagan worships it
A gamer fills it with mountain dew and drinks it, repeats the process ad infinitum and becomes morbidly obese.
A fascist puts a gun to your head and makes you think its full
A Chinese communist claims to share it but instead turns it into an inefficient corporation with little regard to environmental issues and proceeds to turn a fortune and simultaneously poison America with lead.
A true OG decides it needs spinnaz
A redneck jacks it up and puts oversized tires on it.
A revolutionary sees it as an oppressor.
An oppressor sees it as the way to quench the rebellion.
An islamo-fascist extremist denounces it for supporting America even though its made in China.

 

[Becoming Insane]

An engineer says, "This glass is twice as big as it needs to be."
An indecisive wavers back and forth between half-full and half-empty until he forgets the question.
A quantum physicist says there is no way to be sure.

 

[John Galt]

A thirsty man drinks it regardless.
Nietzsche blames Christians for the lack of water.
Ayn Rand tells you to get away from her hard earned water.

 

[axle 19]

A communist claims that the water is for people
A transcedent sees no glass
A worker sees half of his pay is missing
A rich man ignores it as not worth his time
A normal person wonders what the hell happened to the other half of the water

 

[Becoming Insane]

A guy with way too much time on his hands calculates how many half-glasses it would take to fill an Olympic swimming pool.

 

[SeaCalMaster]

A mathematician attempts to prove that a glass must exist.

 

[the monopoly guy]

A guy with way too much time on his hands calculates how many half-glasses it would take to fill an Olympic swimming pool.

ha, that was a good one

a paranoid things the government put mind conrtol drugs in teh water
a thirsty person just drinks it
and Switzerland stays out of the whole thing (that's not a jab at Switzerland)

Me, being a realist and a bit of a cynic, sees a glass, half if which contains water, that someone may have piddled in (that's right, I said piddle.)

 

[Jonathan Hexley]

A man who died of thirst doesn't care, he just wishes he had it.
A critic thinks it's half full - which is good - but thinks that the glass leaves something to be desired.

 

[dart sifilis]

A mobster beats his share out of the glass.
A woman talks glass into misery and suicide.

 

[axle 19]

A full glass calls it a pussy for only being half full

 

[Spleeni]

An emo dumps the water and calls it empty.
An emo dumps the water, breaks the glass and cuts themselves while crying about a lack of water.

 

[PurpleRain]

Godzilla stomps on the glass. Godzilla doesn't care for glasses of water!

 

[zebubble]

A scientist attempts to discover if the glass is a liquid or a solid.

Oh yes, I went there.

 

[PurpleRain]

A scientist attempts to discover if the glass is a liquid or a solid.

Oh yes, I went there.

Nooo! Glass is a lie sent by the liberals to kill us!

 

[zacaron]

an egomaniac thinks that the glass half empty or not should bow down to him along with everyone else talking about the glass

 

[the monopoly guy]

Ray Mears makes a bear trap out of it

 

[zebubble]

[Post removed due to stupidity and nanomachines]