The most important failure.

MiskWisk

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We've all had one. That one mistake that taught you so much out of the way things imploded than if things had worked out. They can lead to great deals of self discovery or a great understanding of the world around us and I thought it was about time to honour those failures.

So, I've got two. I'll start with the more serious one. I got an internship this summer with a certain group. My job was to convince people to sign up to long term donate to a charity (incidentally, look up the Children's Trust, they do some good work). I signed up to help deal with my anxiety talking to new people and for a couple other reasons. Naturally, a week into the internship, I dropped out (again incidentally, not only was I the third member of my particular team to bolt but our whole region was busy setting a new record for most drop outs) but learnt a lot for my time. Firstly, I now realise I am not scared of talking to people, I now just hate new people in general (yay progress!). Secondly, people are not as rude as you'd expect. In fact, a lot of the people I spoke to were very polite in their rejections boosting my faith in humanity. I got to meet a very nice man who was very knowledgeable with medieval weaponry and learnt a fair bit about archery. Finally, I have learned to take pity on the poor souls who trudge through such an existence and while I will probably never sign up to a charity like that, I will at the very least hear them out, offer a drink and offer the toilet because that would makes their day.

My second failure is that no matter what someone tells you, it is perfectly possible to screw up boiling spaghetti in such a way that professional chefs look at you like some sort of anti-Christ.

Well, let's hear your failures my fellow passive-aggressive community. They don't have to be serious nor do they need to be comical; you only need to have learnt something from them. Now, if you don't mind I have literally just been quoted for the first time in months and I need to see if I have a response to it.
 

Nikolaz72

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I was once beaten by my best friend out of the blue. He then moved schools (Or was kicked out) I was like, 13. We'd been friend for some four years.

To this day I don't understand why he did it. He said as I was beaten on the ground that it was my fault. I kind of felt that way for a long time and somehow still do, however it pains me I don't know -what- exactly I did to wrong him. Something I said? Something I did? Something I didn't do or didn't say?


.......

I also burned some pasta. Twice actually. Ruined the pots completely, did not make me popular with the household.
 

Imperioratorex Caprae

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Nikolaz72 said:
Not sure it counts as failure, however considering the feelings involved its ambiguous.

I was beaten down by my best friend out of the blue. He then moved schools (Or was kicked out) I was like, 13. We'd been friend for some four years.

To this day I don't understand why he did it. He said as I was beaten on the ground that it was my fault. I kind of felt that way for a long time and somehow still do, however it pains me I don't know -what- exactly I did to wrong him. Something I said? Something I did? Something I didn't do or didn't say?

It haunts me every time I think back on it. I haven't really shared this with anyone before but an online forum is as safe a space as any. He was around for a bit after what he did but we weren't on speaking terms afterwards. Kind of went from seeing eachother basically every day to not. It was probably the leading cause of my retreat to the realms of the internet until I was much older.

During that time any friends I really had at school were girls, I was scared and am still somewhat scared of men and male friends since I think they might beat me if I do something wrong. (I know, a weird phobia)

.......

I also burned some pasta. Twice actually. Ruined the pots completely, did not make me popular with the household.
I had a similar experience with a friend, who freaked out on me one day in 7th grade for no apparent reason and started fighting me. Just wailing away screaming with no provocation after I'd asked him if he wanted to hang out over the weekend. I'd been bullied a lot in school and around that time I had gained some weight from growing and had endured so many beatings that my pain tolerance was high and I'd had some unresolved anger issues, so I kinda snapped. I didn't intend to hurt him, just make him stop hitting me and I don't really remember what I did because I blacked out at that point and my next conscious memory was being in the principal's office with a good number of bruises all over and busted knuckles. I was suspended and never got to see what the other kid looked like, only knew that his parents called mine and we were both suspended. I learned later from other kids who'd been there that I fairly well gave the kid a beatdown that was legendary in that school. I didn't want fame like that as I have always abhorred violence. Somehow I'd thrown elbows, knocked the ever loving shit out of him all the while screaming incoherently. I don't know how much of it was true, only that the soreness of body coincided with some of the tales... Kids tend to embellish things, so its up in the air what exactly transpired and none of the adults would talk about it.
The kid never came back to school and I found out much later that he was moving away that weekend, so maybe that triggered the reaction as we'd been friends a long time before that. A few years afterward, I'd all but forgotten about it and switched over to a private school where the "legend" that was that fight didn't exist. Out of the blue during my freshman year's summer break my friend showed up at my house, and started talking like nothing ever happened so I decided to leave the past where it lay. We went to a hotel where his family was staying and went swimming in the local pool and once again out of the blue he flipped out on me. At this point I'd taken some self-defense classes and kept my head straight, hip tossed him into the pool and gathered my stuff up and left. I didn't see him again for a long time after that.
Fast forward to about 24 or 25 years old, we came into contact again and he immediately started apologizing for freaking out on me. Turns out he was gay and had no idea how to handle it and had a sort of major crush on me and the idea of him leaving town and me just flipped a switch in his head. I'm absolutely no doubt about it straight and he knew that then and it just made the situation when we were younger even worse for him. Myself, I'm a fair person and gave him the benefit of the doubt as we were just kids anyway and I don't hold grudges, not even against the assholes who bullied me. Those kids grew up to be assholes, but I never really cared either way as whatever happened in elementary school with them meant less than zero to me, only serving as a lesson that not all people are worth my time.
Anyway we talked for a while and parted ways and I've not heard from him again but it was interesting anyway. Just thought I'd share, never told that story to anyone else but I figured since you'd had somewhat of a similar encounter, I'd toss it out.

OT: As a younger person I went through shitty minimum wage jobs like water, and never cared much for working at them. That is until I found out that the way I was going about jobs was crippling me for future positions at better companies. I had to grow up really fast and start taking even the shittiest job seriously because I didn't want to be unemployable with no references. So I started working for Blockbuster Video, which I happened to like incidentally, and worked there a couple years. When I left to move out of state for a year, I'd basically got a huge reference because I'd worked my butt off at that job and got the store high ratings from secret shoppers because of my helpful attitude. I detest customer service by the way but quickly learned at that job that I could put my otherwise useless acting skills from both drama class, an acting class I took after school, and my years of role playing in D&D to play a nice, helpful store clerk. I still had my ways of messing with shitty clients at the video store, witholding videos those nasty customers came to get and giving the same video to the next person in line after I'd politely told the jerks that we were currently out of said movie (just one example). Of course I didn't give the video away in front of the jerks, just waited til they left. Even so I was mostly helpful to people who came in as long as they had decent, respectful attitudes. I don't believe in the "customer is always right" way of thinking because once you cross over into asshole territory I respectfully reserve the right to deny you service. :) So the lessons I learned were: A. Work every job like you give a shit, even if you don't, and B. You can fake being nice to people, even asshole customers and its always better than losing your shit over stupid people's attitudes.
Lots of trial and error in between those lessons but its helped out with my own personal business of being a freelance PC tech. Only difference is I can afford to pick and choose my customers now because I answer to no one but me.
 

Silvanus

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I got mad about some silly bs and kicked the bath, once, causing a crack. The bath has long since been replaced (needed it before the kicking-- ugly thing), and we moved anyhow, but it was just such silliness.
 

FPLOON

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In middle school, there was this one particular day where a group of schoolmates find a broken metal bar that was bent like a boomerang, so we decided to throw it around like one across the open "soccer" field... When it was my turn to throw it, I didn't let go soon enough and sent it bouncing across the ground... If that shit would have veered right instead of left, it would have impaled one of my friends, at the time, in the back while he was about to leave the campus... That shit scared the fuck out of me in terms of how close that was...

Other than that, a year after the "boomerang" incident, I kicked this one guy on the upper part of his right leg (right around the femur if I know my [lack of] knowledge of bone anatomy, only to find out I kick his penis once he fell to the ground screaming in pain... Considering this was also the last day of school, I got to spent the whole day outside the principle's office until school was over...
 

Michael Tabbut

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Back when I started first grade I met this kid who would become a friend of sorts. He was sort an asshole but at the time I just didn't give a damn. Around the start of middle school, we had a falling out that led to some violent confrontations. At the time I was dealing with a lot of familial issues and the guy's behavior was just beginning to get on my nerves. One day he said something EXTREMELY insensitive to me at the worst opportunity and I lashed out. After this he began to bully me for the rest of the school year and eventually beat me up in a bathroom, smashed the back of my head into a wall and my face into the toilet bowl. Got a bad concussion and a broken tooth from that. Left that school behind and cut all ties with my friends there. About a year ago I bump into him at a mall and he tries to talk to me...and I proceed to tell him to fuck off and never speak to me again.

Out of that...trauma I quickly realized that my failure was trying to be friends with that...that...

Godsmack's "I Fucking Hate You" had never been such an apt response toward the ****.
 

White Lightning

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One time I saw that chips were on sale but I didn't buy them, then when I went back to the store they were at regular price.
 

TheRightToArmBears

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White Lightning said:
One time I saw that chips were on sale but I didn't buy them, then when I went back to the store they were at regular price.
I feel for you. Stay strong, life goes on man!

Well, the obvious one would be dropping out of university, although to be honest, going to university in the first place was the real failure. I didn't enjoy my subject, the city or pretty much anything- I was pushed into going to university by my school and I foolishly thought I didn't have any options. It was a shit idea. I lost a year of my life, £9000 in fees and ended up being treated for depression.

More importantly though, missing Download the year Black Sabbath headlined. I missed it for an exam! An exam! I didn't even need it.
 

FalloutJack

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Nikolaz72 said:
I was once beaten by my best friend out of the blue. He then moved schools (Or was kicked out) I was like, 13. We'd been friend for some four years.

To this day I don't understand why he did it. He said as I was beaten on the ground that it was my fault. I kind of felt that way for a long time and somehow still do, however it pains me I don't know -what- exactly I did to wrong him. Something I said? Something I did? Something I didn't do or didn't say?
I don't think it was you. If you're saying there was literally no escalation leading up to this, then I would entertain the notion that he might've been bi-polar. Bi-polar people aren't really crazy, but they have extreme moments of good natured times and BAD-natured times, and the low end of it can lead to violence and self-loathing. When a bi-polar person is in their bad mood, they can be set off MUCH easier than another person. I can't say that this is The Answer, but it is an angle which could explain what happened. It doesn't have to specifically be bi-polar disorder, but it could still be something.

OT: I would never screw up pasta. I don't tend to have many personal failings, at least none that come to mind right now. I have the rare case of learning from other people's mistakes heavily-engrained in my psyche.
 

Scarim Coral

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The only one I can think of was this contest in music lesson. All it was just to draw a cover of an harp and a written hisroy of the harp aswell.

Since I was great at art, my drawing of an harp was fantastic and I was arrogant enough to the point that I keep bragging that I will win among my mates back then.

Needless to say I didn't win but that was fine as it taught me NOT to be arrogant and pinning my winning on my singular strength (my art skill) alone.

Just to be clear, this was around the first couple years of High School so I wasn't exactly fully mature back then.
 

zumbledum

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Nikolaz72 said:
I was once beaten by my best friend out of the blue. He then moved schools (Or was kicked out) I was like, 13. We'd been friend for some four years.

To this day I don't understand why he did it. He said as I was beaten on the ground that it was my fault. I kind of felt that way for a long time and somehow still do, however it pains me I don't know -what- exactly I did to wrong him. Something I said? Something I did? Something I didn't do or didn't say?
I suspect he felt that it would hurt less to fall out with you than just loose you, i remember when i was very young i found out my dog was getting old and 15 was his life expectancy , i had a plan to start being mean to him at 14 .5 thinking then i wouldn't be sad when he died.
 

Biran53

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The sensible, pragmatic side of me would say letting myself go a bit academically in my final years of public school (and losing focus on writing).

The insufferable, mopey, heartbroken side of me would say willingly allowing her to slip through my fingers like it was nothing.
 

Zombie_Fish

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The first job interview I ever did. It was two years ago, and I was applying for a Software Development Engineer Internship at Microsoft -- ballsy for a first job application, I know. After submitting an application, there are two stages in the process, the first of which is a phone/in person interview with someone from HR. I crashed and burned during that interview: I didn't know why I wanted to apply for them, I didn't know what area I wanted to work in, I explained my previous programming projects very poorly and I almost gave up on the puzzle questions. I was rejected the very next day.

So, I decided to try my hardest to improve: I contacted a Bristol Alumni who I had previously spoken with in person about getting feedback on my CV and cover letter; I attended workshops on how to perform well at interviews; I read a few good resources as well on the subject, and I got a lot of advice from more experienced friends about what to expect. And thankfully, my interviews have been a lot better since. I even re-applied to Microsoft this year for a Graduate position and got to the second stage of interviews, though I pulled out as I was offered a more interesting PhD position before I could complete the process.
 

Tiger King

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Work experience, or rather my work experience.
Do they do it here in America? well anyway how it works in the uk is when you are about 16 you get to work in some random job for a week instead of going to school. most of the guys I knew where working with their dads or people they knew in local mechanics and such. It was also pretty much accepted that they would be taken on full time at these jobs once they left school. It was also around this time that a lot of pressure was being applied to 'figure out what you wanna do for a living' and I was freaking out because I had no idea. There was no job where you could draw all day (unless your name is eclipse dragon :p ) or play bass guitar and the suggestions from my parents, to be a plumber or something did not appeal to me.

I was given this form to fill in and it basically had a list of job titles that you circled if you were interested in that career path. After staring at the form for ten minutes or so I managed to circle one thing, CAD.
What's CAD thought? computer aided design? design, drawing, fuck it close enough i'll give it a shot.

pretty soon I was paired up with an engineering company that made compressor products for oil rigs. As I was given a tour of the facility it dawned on me in seconds that this is not what I wanted to do. I knew nothing about lathes or mills or metal and I wasn't that interested either. once I got back to school I attempted to seek out the teacher that had arranged the placing to tell her that I didn't think I should do my work experience there. Before I even had a chance to open my mouth the teacher, who was already deeply pissed off for some reason stabbed a finger at me and said
'I've really gone out on a wing here to get your work experience arranged, so you better not let me down.'
Then she stormed off leaving me with my jaw hanging.

So I went to work in this place. I did my best to be polite and do everything they asked of me, I enjoyed doing the cad work but I didn't really understand how to use the software and I think they were unhappy with my crappy cad work because after Monday I never touched a computer again. As the week wore on I was given more and more menial jobs, come Friday I was sent to the accounts department and given a stack of invoices and told to arrange them into piles by colour.

It is easily the most pointless task I have ever done and I knew it even then. They didn't want me there and were making me do something because they were obliged too. When I say it was a pointless task I mean pointless, a similar task would be to say pick up the leaves outside and arrange them into piles by size.
Anyway I sat there and did the job feeling very sad and unhappy. In hindsight I should of got pissed off and walked out but I was still deeply shy back then and terrified of breaking the rules or getting into trouble.

When I met my friends again on Monday I had to listen to their tales of having a great time and being sent home early and some even got paid. Then we got our report cards and mine was the most negative thing I had ever seen.
The company made a long list of complaints up to and including:
Didn't take notes
Didn't ask enough questions
Didn't speak loudly enough/tended to mumble
I understand that they are legitimate complaints but for effs sake I was a kid on a weeks work experience not someone at a job interview. Also the thing is nobody said anything to me that there was an issue. somebody at the company had decided that 'he's not what we want' and I got shunted from department to department like some problem child and treated like an idiot, instead of just saying 'can you speak up please?' or addressing an issue they had with me.

Then that bloody teacher laid into me because I had 'let her down' which was fun.
The irony is that I eventually got a job when I was 21 working for an engineering company, the difference is that when I was given a fair crack of the whip, that is to say actually allowed to use a lathe and mill and try some welding, I grew quite passionate about it and enjoyed it.

I always look back on that time with great disappointment, if that company had just given me a chance instead of expecting some kind of wonder boy I could have sorted out my life earlier and not spent 5 years pissing about in fast food jobs. What I mean by that is my confidence wouldn't have been shot and I wouldn't have been scared to apply for good jobs because I was terrified I would make a mistake.

still, I learnt a lesson I suppose.
 

CrystalShadow

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I guess... The first time I fell in love with someone, and proceeded to act like such a messed up stalkerish crybaby that I apparently made what at the time was my best friend not want to talk to me again. Ever.

That's a pretty harsh lesson to learn. No matter how you feel about someone, you can't get that upset about rejection if you want to ever have them in your life at all afterwards...

Because even if they like you, it's still possible to push them to a point where they get to be completely fed up with you...
 

SmugFrog

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Not taking the time to talk to a friend before he hung himself.

I had seen him looking stressed out, and I wasn't particularly close to him but we talked every now and then. We shared laughs, music, movies. I'd come to realize he had the same sense of humor that I do. I saw him one day down in the berthing compartment and he just looked kind of rough; needed a haircut, looked kind of haggard - he had been working out a lot. I made a note as I was passing through, "Man, I really need to take some time to talk to Kenny." I always went out of my way to try and cheer people up and be there for them. I just didn't take enough time for him.

Later that night while I was sitting at the radar console they announced a medical emergency, and details started coming out about what happened. Still gets to me because some people just don't take it seriously.

CAPTCHA: have an inkling. yeah... thanks.
 

Kolby Jack

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I dropped out of college in my 4th semester... or rather, I intended to, but SOMEONE (who shall remain nameless, but saying she's my mother technically isn't giving her name) told me the wrong day for the withdrawals deadline. Me being the procrastinator I was (and largely still am), I waited until the very last day to go do it, only to find out that I was a day late, and I had just officially FAILED all of my classes rather than simply withdrawing from them. Don't get me wrong, it's entirely my fault, but darn the luck that my mom got the date wrong.

I still haven't told my parents this, by the way. Nothing's really stopping me now (I mean, I've long since moved out, so what are they gonna do? Ground me?) but the problem is that now after some military service I feel I'm actually READY to go back to school. I have yet to find out how badly my past fuck up will affect this, and I'm dreading the worst case scenarios. I'm sure it's not as bad as I fear, but this is the first time I've ever wanted to go to school to learn about something in my whole life, and the fact that stupid teenage past me may have fucked it all up before I could even try is... not a fun thought, to say the least.
 

Elfgore

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Failing college taught me several things.

-You want to hold off joining the proffesional world as long as possible, as it is quite boring.
-A supportive parent is the best thing you can have.
-Do not allow your parents to pressure you into college.
-Don't sit on your ass and mope after failing, find a job, start paying of debt.
-Go back when you're ready.
-Save that money.
 

bartholen_v1legacy

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I can't remember one right now. My life has in general worked out well enough in most aspects that I can't remember one particular fuck-up that would have changed me. I almost had one this spring, when I put off applying for the job I thought I could just go straight back into, only to find out the place had already been filled, and I'd been to no other interviews. But then I got a job where I get to fly on an airplane, travel the country and sleep in hotels on a regular basis, with bonuses for nightwork, weekends and flying. It kind of kills my social life, but it's a summer job, and gives me experience in parts of my field, as well as some general skills knowledge and sights (ever seen the entirety of a sunrise or a night when the sun doesn't set from an airplane?) I'd get nowhere else.
 

Lufia Erim

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Once i put toothpaste on my face instead of dhaving cream by accident. That was not fun.

I also can't cook, I'll burn boiled water if you let me.