The most retarded plot ever.

[lack of self CTRL]

With all these Battlefield Earth references getting tossed around i thought i'd post this:

​

Its a compilation of all the best (Worst?) moments from the film, for anyone who feels out of the loop. And yes, that is John Travolta.

 

[Anticitizen_Two]

The plotlines of Crytek games are always laughable.

 

[V TheSystem V]

Twilight.

Yes. Just yes.

Also Dude, Where's My Car?

 

[Atmos Duality]

No question:
Final Fantasy 7: Dirge of Cerberus

There's "cheaply done bad story". And then there's... this.
This is not your normal cash-in game. No. This game had a full special effects budget and voicing done by a AAA game company.
The game has something like 5 hours of cutscenes in it.
Between the cutscene density and idiocy of the story, I can say that Hideo Kojima has NOTHING on Dirge. The game has just as many pointless cutscenes as MGS4.

The plot, the characters, the pacing...it's all beyond batshit bonkers and it ends with the AVATAR OF GOTH in one of the most unintentionally funny climaxes I've ever seen in a game. That's to say nothing of the gameplay, which is hilariously inept and contradicting.

Cutscene Vincent can jump 10 stories into the air on a whim and snipe an attack copter with one bullet.
In-Game Vincent has trouble navigating objects laying around that a 5 year old could jump over or circumvent. Not even Devil May Cry pulled this level of bullshit.


For the uninitiated...

http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/Dirge%20of%20Cerberus/index.html

There. Now you don't have to endure the agony I did in actually playing it.

Word of caution: BRING ALCOHOL. Lots of it.
It's a great game to riff on though.

 

[Captain Kangaroo PIMP]

50 cent blood on the sand or whatever it was called he destroys a whole country for a gem encrusted skull

 

[Zetsubou-Sama]

"So like guys, since I haven't used GF's I always remembered y'all from my childhood we all were in the same place in an entirely different deserted continent. But since y'all use GF's you didn't remember. But I did but I decided to not tell you all this, not really sure why."

"OMG NO WAYYY!!!"

"Bullshit.... oh wai- it's all coming back to me now"


"BTW the woman that took care of us.. she's the evil ***** that's been trying to kill us"


"Noooo!!!"

"But wait!"

"There's more?"

"Your boss, that lives in a different continent from the witch, is her HUSBAND, and she created your mercenary school!"

 

[WorldCritic]

Bad Dudes Vs. DragonNinja

"President Ronnie has been kidnapped by the ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue Ronnie?"

/thread

Well at least if you save him he rewards you with a burger.

 

[The Rockerfly]

Final Fantasy 13, just play it to understand

 

[Woodsey]

And if so, I'm going to be choosing The Force Unleashed, and only because I'm such an avid Star Wars fan.

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic on the "avid fan" bit, but I always though TFU's plot was really good.

OT: I haven't played the Bionic Commando remake, but I know about what the arm is. Or should I say, WHO the arm is.

How. Fucking. Stupid.

 

[KamachoMcSagget]

Gears of War pretty much coppied Contra.

 

[Ieyland]

Twilight.

You win

 

[Queen Michael]

The new Nick Fury: Agent of Nothing series.

Spoiler

Hydra was controlling Shield all the time? What the ****?

 

[LightOfDarkness]

Modern Warfare 1 and 2.

 

[Durxom]

And if so, I'm going to be choosing The Force Unleashed, and only because I'm such an avid Star Wars fan.

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic on the "avid fan" bit, but I always though TFU's plot was really good.

OT: I haven't played the Bionic Commando remake, but I know about what the arm is. Or should I say, WHO the arm is.

How. Fucking. Stupid.

I wasn't being sarcastic =/

TFU's plot was incredibly mediocre in my eyes, and for some reason now, it is offical Star Wars canon.

"Ohh, let's have a complete asspull, and create the strongest force-user to ever live, have him be another one of Vader's apprentices (he has had many, some hidden as well), which negates Vader/Anakin's whole chosen one thing. Also, let's have Starkiller beat up a Jedi Knight on first level, then for some reason go back to him later on, and try and get training from him...You do not need training from someone who you just handed them their ass on a silver platter, (hours) days ago." There's a few other in there as well but I can't think of them atm =/...Also made me a bit pissed how they made random asspull character be one of the sole reasons of the creation of the Rebel Alliance.

 

[GammaZord]

The last/current gen Ninja Gaiden games easily have THE most retarded plots I've ever come across--which is totally fine. I don't really need a logical reason to slice through thousands of demon-ninjas and dragons and shit.

BUT, for something that takes itself seriously (or at least I think it does) I have to say Battlefield Earth. Just awful.

Was that the book/film by L Ron Hubbard? Because I read a plot summary a while ago, and it was pretty awful.

Yup, written by the scientology guru himself

 

[Legion]

There should be a rule on here that you get stuck on probation/suspension if you show hatred/dislike of something like this without giving an explanation for it. It's just plain trolling, pure and simple.

 

[FaithorFire]

How about "Star wars Episode 1" - "Star Wars Episode 2.6"

 

[nick n stuff]

most RPGs.
someone dies, mute protagonist is meant to avenge but instead goes into caves and dungeons for some reason and procrastinates, final battle with a dragon usually, significant character dies.
Ring a bell?

 

[DominicxD]

Well, the game is set in Mexico. One day, while on the bus to work, you notice several anomalies, but try not to think too much about it. The first part of the game sees your character doing what they would normally do. Unofortunately, things go wrong and there is a break in to your workplace. You then

Spoiler

PS3 has no games xDxDxDDDDFDdsajghdfahgi

.

 

[Woodsey]

And if so, I'm going to be choosing The Force Unleashed, and only because I'm such an avid Star Wars fan.

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic on the "avid fan" bit, but I always though TFU's plot was really good.

OT: I haven't played the Bionic Commando remake, but I know about what the arm is. Or should I say, WHO the arm is.

How. Fucking. Stupid.

I wasn't being sarcastic =/

TFU's plot was incredibly mediocre in my eyes, and for some reason now, it is offical Star Wars canon.

"Ohh, let's have a complete asspull, and create the strongest force-user to ever live, have him be another one of Vader's apprentices (he has had many, some hidden as well), which negates Vader/Anakin's whole chosen one thing. Also, let's have Starkiller beat up a Jedi Knight on first level, then for some reason go back to him later on, and try and get training from him...You do not need training from someone who you just handed them their ass on a silver platter, (hours) days ago." There's a few other in there as well but I can't think of them atm =/...Also made me a bit pissed how they made random asspull character be one of the sole reasons of the creation of the Rebel Alliance.

He wasn't the strongest ever was he? He was just really f*cking powerful, that's how I understood it. Besides, Vader couldn't fulfill his potential power after Mustafar; at any rate, the Chosen One thing was that he would destroy the Sith (which he did) it didn't discuss his level of power - at least I don't think it did.

And Marek goes back to Kota after Kota gave him the premonition of his future, and he only decides to do that once he decides to leave Vader after being tricked by him (for the first time). He needed his helps because of his contacts - he had enough followers to attack the TIE factory at the start of the game after all.

As for the Rebel Alliance thing, that always made perfect sense to me and fitted - I thought it was nice how the Emperor pretty much set up what would help to destroy him.

mass effect.

Please be joking.