The most retarded plot ever.

[TheSchizoid]

Mario.

When you actually say it out loud:
"A fat italian plumber is off to go rescue a princess from a gigantic turtle lizard monster and to do so he must battle an army of angry toadstools and eat mushrooms to power himself up, which he gains from jumping on boxes with little question marks on them. Oh and later on down the line he rides a fruit eating dinosaur... and then he goes into space."

The games are fun and while the story isn't really all that important... just hearing it out loud sounds like you are describing an LSD trip.

Is it sad that when I read this I heard it in Yahtzee's voice?

 

[starwarsgeek]

I wasn't being sarcastic =/

TFU's plot was incredibly mediocre in my eyes, and for some reason now, it is offical Star Wars canon.

"Ohh, let's have a complete asspull, and create the strongest force-user to ever live, have him be another one of Vader's apprentices (he has had many, some hidden as well), which negates Vader/Anakin's whole chosen one thing. Also, let's have Starkiller beat up a Jedi Knight on first level, then for some reason go back to him later on, and try and get training from him...You do not need training from someone who you just handed them their ass on a silver platter, (hours) days ago." There's a few other in there as well but I can't think of them atm =/...Also made me a bit pissed how they made random asspull character be one of the sole reasons of the creation of the Rebel Alliance.

Starkiller wasn't the strongest force user to ever live. Hell, I'd say the guy that attacks with you with garbage constructs while he sits at the top of his garbage jedi temple is stronger, force wise.

Also, yeah...the guy who survives a fall from space after being blinded by his own lightsaber [which only worked because he was distracted by the force spoiling the future] probably has some nice tips to pass on.

Besides, the game has one of my personal favorite plot twist moments.

Spoiler

When Vader sums up his entire plot with "...I lied", delivered in a manner that sounds like he was suprised that Starkiller didn't see it coming was hillarious.

 

[Socius]

Twilight.

^thread.

There really ain't anything else to say.
Vapires aren't pixies, and if you think they are, I quote Yatzhee:
You are "pants-on-the-head retarded"

 

[TheFacelessOne]

Halo 3. /thread

No. That is not a /thread. I disagree.

OT: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh I dunno, I guess I'd have to go for Plants vs. Zombies

 

[AcidLillies]

I could actually make sense of the KH/KH 2 stroy line; more so out of of personal involvement and a scarce amount of reflection. I don't entirely think KH is supposed to have a set in stone purpouse or story line, either, it's more figuartive and open for interpretation.

In most cases, I'd have to say COD has some of the worst storylines feesible. Not that I've ever actually managed to play a single one past the initial tutorial, mind you. Ho frigging ho.

 

[poiuppx]

"So like guys, since I haven't used GF's I always remembered y'all from my childhood we all were in the same place in an entirely different deserted continent. But since y'all use GF's you didn't remember. But I did but I decided to not tell you all this, not really sure why."

"OMG NO WAYYY!!!"

"Bullshit.... oh wai- it's all coming back to me now"


"BTW the woman that took care of us.. she's the evil ***** that's been trying to kill us"


"Noooo!!!"

"But wait!"

"There's more?"

"Your boss, that lives in a different continent from the witch, is her HUSBAND, and she created your mercenary school!"

A hundred times this. FF8 turned me off from Squaresoft games for a good while, as it became clear whoever was writing the storylines was enjoying a bit too much home-made alcohol.

 

[Thunderhorse31]

Avatar.

America is bad. The end.


PUT IT IN HER PONYTAIL BRO!

Good line, but I don't recall the bad guys being America, just humanity in general. Then again, if the story has been retold so many times, it's probably not all that stupid.

Twilight.

This. I had someone explain to me the plot of the last book, and it is by far one of the most retarded things I've ever heard.

 

[Korten12]

Halo series:Hey you over there in the space armor go shoot me some aliens would ya.
.

have you read the books? seriosly I am kinda sick of people saying this, when you say Halo Series, you mean everything part of it, not just the games. Play and read the books before saying that.

 

[JeanLuc761]

mass effect.

Nice one (you ARE trolling, yes?)

As for my nomination...the plotline of any Unreal Tournament game. Stop sticking unnecessary stories in there Epic, and just let me get my frag on.

actually, no. though it is a good one. i say its retarded because they never explain where the reapers come from, saying its magic. the citadel is built to be a trap but not every species evolved the same so how does it magically fit us? and why is everyone so stupid that they defile a relic by LIVING in it when they know nothing about it? there are many plot holes in the story making it generic and at times utterly retarded.

I've been operating COMPLETELY under the assumption that Mass Effect 3 will tie all this up.

A couple of those have been answered though.
- The Citadel works for all galaxy species because the Reapers directed evolution to suit their needs, and to ensure life would be compatible with the technology they left behind.
- We live in it because it doesn't pose any threat we're aware of (well, in ME1 anyway), and because it serves well as a galactic hub for all races.

 

[Blueruler182]

Twilight.

This. I had someone explain to me the plot of the last book, and it is by far one of the most retarded things I've ever heard.

Why would you put yourself through that? Someone get this man a medal!

 

[DustyDrB]

mass effect.

Nice one (you ARE trolling, yes?)

As for my nomination...the plotline of any Unreal Tournament game. Stop sticking unnecessary stories in there Epic, and just let me get my frag on.

actually, no. though it is a good one. i say its retarded because they never explain where the reapers come from, saying its magic. the citadel is built to be a trap but not every species evolved the same so how does it magically fit us? and why is everyone so stupid that they defile a relic by LIVING in it when they know nothing about it? there are many plot holes in the story making it generic and at times utterly retarded.

I've wondered this, but you have to remember it is an unfinished trilogy at this point. It's best that they still have some mystery behind them.

 

[Thunderhorse31]

Twilight.

This. I had someone explain to me the plot of the last book, and it is by far one of the most retarded things I've ever heard.

Why would you put yourself through that? Someone get this man a medal!

I appreciate the offer, but it my defense, it was for the lulz. She had just seen "New Moon" and saw an article on the difficulties in translating the last book into a movie, and decided to find out why. Apparently it involves a very bloody pregnancy and werewolf pedophilia, among other things. Again, most retarded thing I've ever heard.

 

[Blueruler182]

Twilight.

This. I had someone explain to me the plot of the last book, and it is by far one of the most retarded things I've ever heard.

Why would you put yourself through that? Someone get this man a medal!

I appreciate the offer, but it my defense, it was for the lulz. She had just seen "New Moon" and saw an article on the difficulties in translating the last book into a movie, and decided to find out why. Apparently it involves a very bloody pregnancy and werewolf pedophilia, among other things. Again, most retarded thing I've ever heard.

That actually brings up a fair point and major plot hole to both this and Inu Yasha. Has nobody been paying attention to the "immortal" part of all this? The men are over one hundred years old and doing teenagers. Going back to real-world analogies for their retarded actions, what would you call an old man hanging around a high school on his free time for no other reason that to hang out in the high school, going out with an underaged girl, and encouraging her emo behavior and blind devotion to him? I call him Steve, but a more general term. Take a swing at it.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Can I throw Simple Jack into the mix for this title?

Spoiler: Click here for a laugh

Yes!

I would also throw this into the mix:

Spoiler: Another laugh

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

/thread

/thread

Spoiler

RAGE... ON... YOU... SAYING... /THREAD...

OT: Timesplitters 2. Explain to me why we're playing random characters who are after the time crystals again? I forgot or it was never mentioned. Probably the latter.

 

[Atmos Duality]

None of those was half as stupid as Dirge of Cerberus.

Twilight? Softcore porn for women.
Mass Effect? It's far too generic to count.

Sonic? That's pretty insane, and probably the closest runner up I've seen.

Still, it didn't involve the world's biggest emo turning into the GOTH LORD to take on a shirtless not-dead dude who is being possessed by a crazy professor he downloaded from the internet. Said professor's goal is to take control of the entire world by tricking it into thinking the apocalypse has begun by murdering...oh fucklesticks, I can't take this anymore.

Oh, and the end boss is alluded to having a near-incestuous relationship with his brother; his brother being a man who regularly wears a straight jacket; complete with a jock strap on his face.

Did I mention that the protagonist's love interest has the body of a 9 year old when he is nearly 60? And it just so happens to be possessed by the fragmented mind of his previous love interest from 30 years ago?

There's no way to summarize what happens in that game other than "Indescribably stupid/pointless shit happens. It involves Final Fantasy 7. The End.".

 

[dbungus2000]

Ashton Kutcher's Killers movie. "Lets just say I work for the blah blah blah and they gave me a license to blah" "I can't believe I married a secret agent!" They really made this movie again? REALLY!?

 

[Counter_Southpaw]

Can I throw Simple Jack into the mix for this title?

I wish we had a horse. Man, I looooooooove horses.

HORSES IZ MEANT FOR RIDING NOT EATING.

OT: Game with lame plot = Gears of War 2

 

[TRR]

Lost Odyssey
This game was so bad, I only got about halfway through before I said "Fuck this game". The biggest contributer in my opinion was the disgustiongly terribly story. There wasn't really a plot, it was just a bunch of people stabbing each other in the back, laced with a bunch of overly cliched tragic moments that are so poorly written and so forced in that they lack any potency to evoke empathy. The heroes of the story were simply more naive than anyone else, and were almost completely unrelatable.

 

[Vrex360]

Halo series:Hey you over there in the space armor go shoot me some aliens would ya.
.

have you read the books? seriosly I am kinda sick of people saying this, when you say Halo Series, you mean everything part of it, not just the games. Play and read the books before saying that.

Fine then let me rephrase that. The Halo Games story is complete crap.

I disagree, while I respect your opinion I found the story in Halo to at least reach the level of decent sci fi action material. My personal favourites being the parts where you take control of the aliens and see it from their perspective and in general I just found myself enjoying it, sure it's not the most original but for a linear action heavy FPS it's still above the status quo.

Still, that's just my opinion and you are entitled to yours, I just thought I would throw in my two cents.