The new Tomb Raider movie

[Cicada 5]

The 2013 reboot seems to have been a case of love it or hate it, but the 2018 movie adaptation is one big meh. Kinda fine and inoffensive as a run of the mill action-adventure movie, and in light of the recent Assassin's Creed, new Hitman and final Resident Evil movies, it's probably the most "dignified" movie adaptation games have had for a while. But nothing shakes off the blandness and mediocrity from the experience.

I hate the casting. I don't know who Alicia Vikander is and she brings nothing to Lara Croft - she's a punchbag with a pretty face and an inordinately oversized forehead. Angie had her bad girl rep and was having fun with it, Alicia is just sort of out of air and always with that worrisome Hermione expression chiselled on her face. I guess that goes with the reboot.

I hated the villain. I've loved Walton Goggins in everything he's been so far, but here he's just as bland as Lara. He's just some dude - no personality, nothing remarkable about him, just a middle management sort of dude whose one moment of villainy is shooting one of his workers - some extra - to establish what a cruel heartless monster he is. This reminded me of the cloud from Futurama zapping the redshirt over and over for a threat. Who gives a shit?

Actually on the subject of the game - maybe it's that it's five times as long as the movie, but there Lara felt truly cut off and isolated and like she had to revert to some primal force to survive. The movie makes things so quick and easy for her that she never goes through any semblance of transformation. She has too many allies and too many lucky coincidences going for her.

Remember the big controversy about how one of the mooks wants to rape Lara in the game (vaguely implied as far as I remember)? No such thing here. These dudes have been wrecked forever in this shit island and the first woman they see in seven years... they just ignore her. Put her to forced labor. Uh-huh. Look I'm not a creep advocating for more rape in movies, I just think it goes against the character of the baddies that you're trying to depict as inhuman monsters "too far gone" with zero accountability and they don't so much as look twice at the first woman, absolutely helpless, they've seen in seven years. I've heard construction workers spout worse just because they're bored and on lunch break.

In a nutshell both the game and the movie are supposed to be about how Lara transforms into a weathered tomb raider and all that but here she faces so little adversity that it's completely lost on her.

And, again, I hated Vikander in the role.

There's plenty of ways to depict someone as an absolute scum bag that don't require rape or sexual assault.

 

[Cicada 5]

I don't get what Hollywood's deal with Tomb Raider is. If it wasn't for Resident Evil it would probably be the most adapted video game franchise and I don't understand what they see in it. I mean, okay, yes, attractive female Indiana Jones, it seems like an easy sell when you put it like that, but actually playing it there's hardly anything that screams "This needs to be brought to the big screen!" I couod think of dozens of games more deserving of a film adaptation.

There are three Tomb Raider films and six Resident Evil films with plans for a reboot in the works. Not really much of an obsession for the former.

 

[Cicada 5]

"Well, 75635th times the charm" thinks Hollywood, and the world will go on.

I got quite a chuckle out of this, not in relation to the movie itself, but the article that was in today's newspaper. In it the writer wrote that the series is no longer based on objectification of women. I just thought about the absolutely FUCKHUEG amounts of SFM porn of Lara Croft, and how massively the new version of Lara overshadows the old one in that regard. Yeah, Lara running through all that rain, mud and dark caves in the 2013 game in just some pants and an oh so tight tank top showing that sweet bod had nothing to do with sex appeal, totally, I swear!

It isn't like the camera lingers over it gratuitously and she at least isn't sporting inhumanly large breasts.

SFM porn doesn't count since it isn't made by the company. It's like saying the Captain America movies are Marvel's most LGBT friendly movies because of the massive amount of Bucky and Steve slash.

 

[Squilookle]

I still maintain warcraft and prince of persia are not bad.

I agree with this too- I do remember enjoying Prince of Persia and the twists it had but kind of forgetting everything about it afterwards, and as for Warcraft, I know absolutely nothing about the games whatsoever and I was able to keep up with what was going on- if anything my only complaint was that the orcs's acting put the humans' to shame.

 

[McElroy]

There's plenty of ways to depict someone as an absolute scum bag that don't require rape or sexual assault.

The point is that while they are supposed to be absolute scumbags beyond redemption, they've somehow become so intimate with their isolation that the first woman they meet in years gets only a sideways glance from them. If the interaction in the movie (haven't seen it myself) completely ignores the sexual angle, then it's a weird decision on the filmmakers' part. We'll wait and see if they ever address it in interviews or articles or whatever.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

The 2013 reboot seems to have been a case of love it or hate it, but the 2018 movie adaptation is one big meh. Kinda fine and inoffensive as a run of the mill action-adventure movie, and in light of the recent Assassin's Creed, new Hitman and final Resident Evil movies, it's probably the most "dignified" movie adaptation games have had for a while. But nothing shakes off the blandness and mediocrity from the experience.

I hate the casting. I don't know who Alicia Vikander is and she brings nothing to Lara Croft - she's a punchbag with a pretty face and an inordinately oversized forehead. Angie had her bad girl rep and was having fun with it, Alicia is just sort of out of air and always with that worrisome Hermione expression chiselled on her face. I guess that goes with the reboot.

I hated the villain. I've loved Walton Goggins in everything he's been so far, but here he's just as bland as Lara. He's just some dude - no personality, nothing remarkable about him, just a middle management sort of dude whose one moment of villainy is shooting one of his workers - some extra - to establish what a cruel heartless monster he is. This reminded me of the cloud from Futurama zapping the redshirt over and over for a threat. Who gives a shit?

Actually on the subject of the game - maybe it's that it's five times as long as the movie, but there Lara felt truly cut off and isolated and like she had to revert to some primal force to survive. The movie makes things so quick and easy for her that she never goes through any semblance of transformation. She has too many allies and too many lucky coincidences going for her.

Remember the big controversy about how one of the mooks wants to rape Lara in the game (vaguely implied as far as I remember)? No such thing here. These dudes have been wrecked forever in this shit island and the first woman they see in seven years... they just ignore her. Put her to forced labor. Uh-huh. Look I'm not a creep advocating for more rape in movies, I just think it goes against the character of the baddies that you're trying to depict as inhuman monsters "too far gone" with zero accountability and they don't so much as look twice at the first woman, absolutely helpless, they've seen in seven years. I've heard construction workers spout worse just because they're bored and on lunch break.

In a nutshell both the game and the movie are supposed to be about how Lara transforms into a weathered tomb raider and all that but here she faces so little adversity that it's completely lost on her.

And, again, I hated Vikander in the role.

There's plenty of ways to depict someone as an absolute scum bag that don't require rape or sexual assault.

I agree. The movie doesn't find any.

 

[Hawki]

There are three Tomb Raider films and six Resident Evil films with plans for a reboot in the works. Not really much of an obsession for the former.

Ten RE films, actually, if we're including direct to video releases.

But even then, Tomb Raider having three films, all released theatrically, is more than most VG franchises get.

It's like saying the Captain America movies are Marvel's most LGBT friendly movies because of the massive amount of Bucky and Steve slash.

Huh. I thought StevexTony was the de facto MCU slash. 0_0

 

[Cicada 5]

The 2013 reboot seems to have been a case of love it or hate it, but the 2018 movie adaptation is one big meh. Kinda fine and inoffensive as a run of the mill action-adventure movie, and in light of the recent Assassin's Creed, new Hitman and final Resident Evil movies, it's probably the most "dignified" movie adaptation games have had for a while. But nothing shakes off the blandness and mediocrity from the experience.

I hate the casting. I don't know who Alicia Vikander is and she brings nothing to Lara Croft - she's a punchbag with a pretty face and an inordinately oversized forehead. Angie had her bad girl rep and was having fun with it, Alicia is just sort of out of air and always with that worrisome Hermione expression chiselled on her face. I guess that goes with the reboot.

I hated the villain. I've loved Walton Goggins in everything he's been so far, but here he's just as bland as Lara. He's just some dude - no personality, nothing remarkable about him, just a middle management sort of dude whose one moment of villainy is shooting one of his workers - some extra - to establish what a cruel heartless monster he is. This reminded me of the cloud from Futurama zapping the redshirt over and over for a threat. Who gives a shit?

Actually on the subject of the game - maybe it's that it's five times as long as the movie, but there Lara felt truly cut off and isolated and like she had to revert to some primal force to survive. The movie makes things so quick and easy for her that she never goes through any semblance of transformation. She has too many allies and too many lucky coincidences going for her.

Remember the big controversy about how one of the mooks wants to rape Lara in the game (vaguely implied as far as I remember)? No such thing here. These dudes have been wrecked forever in this shit island and the first woman they see in seven years... they just ignore her. Put her to forced labor. Uh-huh. Look I'm not a creep advocating for more rape in movies, I just think it goes against the character of the baddies that you're trying to depict as inhuman monsters "too far gone" with zero accountability and they don't so much as look twice at the first woman, absolutely helpless, they've seen in seven years. I've heard construction workers spout worse just because they're bored and on lunch break.

In a nutshell both the game and the movie are supposed to be about how Lara transforms into a weathered tomb raider and all that but here she faces so little adversity that it's completely lost on her.

And, again, I hated Vikander in the role.

There's plenty of ways to depict someone as an absolute scum bag that don't require rape or sexual assault.

I agree. The movie doesn't find any.

Spoiler

tryong to weaponise a virus isn't enough

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

But hey, isn't John Cena next as Duke Nukem?

That seems like an easy one.

Basically just make Commando again, but switch up the oneliners and replace 'daughter' with 'babes', and 'generic bad dudes' with 'generic aliens'. Done.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

The 2013 reboot seems to have been a case of love it or hate it, but the 2018 movie adaptation is one big meh. Kinda fine and inoffensive as a run of the mill action-adventure movie, and in light of the recent Assassin's Creed, new Hitman and final Resident Evil movies, it's probably the most "dignified" movie adaptation games have had for a while. But nothing shakes off the blandness and mediocrity from the experience.

I hate the casting. I don't know who Alicia Vikander is and she brings nothing to Lara Croft - she's a punchbag with a pretty face and an inordinately oversized forehead. Angie had her bad girl rep and was having fun with it, Alicia is just sort of out of air and always with that worrisome Hermione expression chiselled on her face. I guess that goes with the reboot.

I hated the villain. I've loved Walton Goggins in everything he's been so far, but here he's just as bland as Lara. He's just some dude - no personality, nothing remarkable about him, just a middle management sort of dude whose one moment of villainy is shooting one of his workers - some extra - to establish what a cruel heartless monster he is. This reminded me of the cloud from Futurama zapping the redshirt over and over for a threat. Who gives a shit?

Actually on the subject of the game - maybe it's that it's five times as long as the movie, but there Lara felt truly cut off and isolated and like she had to revert to some primal force to survive. The movie makes things so quick and easy for her that she never goes through any semblance of transformation. She has too many allies and too many lucky coincidences going for her.

Remember the big controversy about how one of the mooks wants to rape Lara in the game (vaguely implied as far as I remember)? No such thing here. These dudes have been wrecked forever in this shit island and the first woman they see in seven years... they just ignore her. Put her to forced labor. Uh-huh. Look I'm not a creep advocating for more rape in movies, I just think it goes against the character of the baddies that you're trying to depict as inhuman monsters "too far gone" with zero accountability and they don't so much as look twice at the first woman, absolutely helpless, they've seen in seven years. I've heard construction workers spout worse just because they're bored and on lunch break.

In a nutshell both the game and the movie are supposed to be about how Lara transforms into a weathered tomb raider and all that but here she faces so little adversity that it's completely lost on her.

And, again, I hated Vikander in the role.

There's plenty of ways to depict someone as an absolute scum bag that don't require rape or sexual assault.

I agree. The movie doesn't find any.

Spoiler

tryong to weaponise a virus isn't enough

No, it's boring and impersonal and in no way their motivation anyway, Goggins and his mooks are just in it for the money. They just want to get it over with and go home. The dudes from the game are scarier because they actually feel deranged and like they're operating on darker impulses with little to no oversight or accountability.

 

[BaronVonVaderHam]

I thought it was ok. Not great but certainly fine for an afternoon, seeing matinee with a big bucket of popcorn.

 

[Thaluikhain]

They knew it was going to suck the second they wrote out Sam from the reboot

just like Rise

Sam is the maybe-she's-lesbian fodder, right?

Pretty much. Childhood friend introduced into the plot like a romantic interest, whose existence borderlines on the "Your Princess is in another castle" trope as she's moved around the island out of Lara's reach, and whose shouted name makes up 75% of Lara's dialog while alone.

It was lazy, but hey videogames are so boringly straight that any drop of gayness seems like a breath of fresh air

I really didn't see that, myself. Sure, Lara tries to rescue her, but then she goes round trying to rescue people. Usually doing a pretty poor job.

Haaaaaving said that, I was sorta hoping she'd bone not-Harry Potter.

 

[Dalisclock]

They knew it was going to suck the second they wrote out Sam from the reboot

just like Rise

Sam is the maybe-she's-lesbian fodder, right?

Pretty much. Childhood friend introduced into the plot like a romantic interest, whose existence borderlines on the "Your Princess is in another castle" trope as she's moved around the island out of Lara's reach, and whose shouted name makes up 75% of Lara's dialog while alone.

It was lazy, but hey videogames are so boringly straight that any drop of gayness seems like a breath of fresh air

I really didn't see that, myself. Sure, Lara tries to rescue her, but then she goes round trying to rescue people. Usually doing a pretty poor job.

Haaaaaving said that, I was sorta hoping she'd bone not-Harry Potter.

Sam was pretty bad for being a distressed Damsel. She had a bad habit of getting kidnapped repeatedly, running off in the wrong direction whenever she was free to move(thus forcing lara to chase her again) and only deciding to be fairly passive when she's being escorted up the mountain to the ritual site.

After a while, it felt pretty obvious she was gonna spend the entire game being in some sort of Danger with Lara being forced to continually chase after her and the urgency kind of went out of it for me. Sure, I could hurry like the game wants me too, but even if I save her, she's just gonna get herself caught yet again.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Sam was pretty bad for being a distressed Damsel. She had a bad habit of getting kidnapped repeatedly, running off in the wrong direction whenever she was free to move(thus forcing lara to chase her again) and only deciding to be fairly passive when she's being escorted up the mountain to the ritual site.

After a while, it felt pretty obvious she was gonna spend the entire game being in some sort of Danger with Lara being forced to continually chase after her and the urgency kind of went out of it for me. Sure, I could hurry like the game wants me too, but even if I save her, she's just gonna get herself caught yet again.

True, but I didn't get a lesbian subtext from that. Also, there are good reasons for people wanting to kidnap her, and I don't mind rescuing her, she's likeable. The other woman, whose name I've quite forgotten...yeah, she was more annoying than the actual villains.

 

[maninahat]

If I was a rising star in Hollywood and they offered me the lead role in a video game movie, I would decline immediately.
It's a career suicide.

Videogame movies aren't usually offered to rising stars. They offer a ton of money to who has some star power about them (hence Jolie, or Fassbender in AC, or Gyliliyliningaaaaal in Prince of Persia), to try and get some not-gamers interested. Such people are already immune to being associated with shitty videogame movies though, so I wouldn't call it career suicide.

As for the OP on Tom Raider, I'm pissed off by the fact that they've once again gone with Lara chasing her dad, as though this hasn't already been done to death within the franchise and doesn't feel like cribbing even more from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

 

[Cicada 5]

The 2013 reboot seems to have been a case of love it or hate it, but the 2018 movie adaptation is one big meh. Kinda fine and inoffensive as a run of the mill action-adventure movie, and in light of the recent Assassin's Creed, new Hitman and final Resident Evil movies, it's probably the most "dignified" movie adaptation games have had for a while. But nothing shakes off the blandness and mediocrity from the experience.

I hate the casting. I don't know who Alicia Vikander is and she brings nothing to Lara Croft - she's a punchbag with a pretty face and an inordinately oversized forehead. Angie had her bad girl rep and was having fun with it, Alicia is just sort of out of air and always with that worrisome Hermione expression chiselled on her face. I guess that goes with the reboot.

I hated the villain. I've loved Walton Goggins in everything he's been so far, but here he's just as bland as Lara. He's just some dude - no personality, nothing remarkable about him, just a middle management sort of dude whose one moment of villainy is shooting one of his workers - some extra - to establish what a cruel heartless monster he is. This reminded me of the cloud from Futurama zapping the redshirt over and over for a threat. Who gives a shit?

Actually on the subject of the game - maybe it's that it's five times as long as the movie, but there Lara felt truly cut off and isolated and like she had to revert to some primal force to survive. The movie makes things so quick and easy for her that she never goes through any semblance of transformation. She has too many allies and too many lucky coincidences going for her.

Remember the big controversy about how one of the mooks wants to rape Lara in the game (vaguely implied as far as I remember)? No such thing here. These dudes have been wrecked forever in this shit island and the first woman they see in seven years... they just ignore her. Put her to forced labor. Uh-huh. Look I'm not a creep advocating for more rape in movies, I just think it goes against the character of the baddies that you're trying to depict as inhuman monsters "too far gone" with zero accountability and they don't so much as look twice at the first woman, absolutely helpless, they've seen in seven years. I've heard construction workers spout worse just because they're bored and on lunch break.

In a nutshell both the game and the movie are supposed to be about how Lara transforms into a weathered tomb raider and all that but here she faces so little adversity that it's completely lost on her.

And, again, I hated Vikander in the role.

There's plenty of ways to depict someone as an absolute scum bag that don't require rape or sexual assault.

I agree. The movie doesn't find any.

Spoiler

tryong to weaponise a virus isn't enough

No, it's boring and impersonal and in no way their motivation anyway, Goggins and his mooks are just in it for the money. They just want to get it over with and go home. The dudes from the game are scarier because they actually feel deranged and like they're operating on darker impulses with little to no oversight or accountability.

A total scum bag doesn't have to be a cartoonish mustache twirler. The fact that Goggins is doing this at all makes him low.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

The 2013 reboot seems to have been a case of love it or hate it, but the 2018 movie adaptation is one big meh. Kinda fine and inoffensive as a run of the mill action-adventure movie, and in light of the recent Assassin's Creed, new Hitman and final Resident Evil movies, it's probably the most "dignified" movie adaptation games have had for a while. But nothing shakes off the blandness and mediocrity from the experience.

I hate the casting. I don't know who Alicia Vikander is and she brings nothing to Lara Croft - she's a punchbag with a pretty face and an inordinately oversized forehead. Angie had her bad girl rep and was having fun with it, Alicia is just sort of out of air and always with that worrisome Hermione expression chiselled on her face. I guess that goes with the reboot.

I hated the villain. I've loved Walton Goggins in everything he's been so far, but here he's just as bland as Lara. He's just some dude - no personality, nothing remarkable about him, just a middle management sort of dude whose one moment of villainy is shooting one of his workers - some extra - to establish what a cruel heartless monster he is. This reminded me of the cloud from Futurama zapping the redshirt over and over for a threat. Who gives a shit?

Actually on the subject of the game - maybe it's that it's five times as long as the movie, but there Lara felt truly cut off and isolated and like she had to revert to some primal force to survive. The movie makes things so quick and easy for her that she never goes through any semblance of transformation. She has too many allies and too many lucky coincidences going for her.

Remember the big controversy about how one of the mooks wants to rape Lara in the game (vaguely implied as far as I remember)? No such thing here. These dudes have been wrecked forever in this shit island and the first woman they see in seven years... they just ignore her. Put her to forced labor. Uh-huh. Look I'm not a creep advocating for more rape in movies, I just think it goes against the character of the baddies that you're trying to depict as inhuman monsters "too far gone" with zero accountability and they don't so much as look twice at the first woman, absolutely helpless, they've seen in seven years. I've heard construction workers spout worse just because they're bored and on lunch break.

In a nutshell both the game and the movie are supposed to be about how Lara transforms into a weathered tomb raider and all that but here she faces so little adversity that it's completely lost on her.

And, again, I hated Vikander in the role.

There's plenty of ways to depict someone as an absolute scum bag that don't require rape or sexual assault.

I agree. The movie doesn't find any.

Spoiler

tryong to weaponise a virus isn't enough

No, it's boring and impersonal and in no way their motivation anyway, Goggins and his mooks are just in it for the money. They just want to get it over with and go home. The dudes from the game are scarier because they actually feel deranged and like they're operating on darker impulses with little to no oversight or accountability.

A total scum bag doesn't have to be a cartoonish mustache twirler. The fact that Goggins is doing this at all makes him low.

I don't know where you get "cartoonish mustache twirler" from castaway rapists but okay, I get that working for Weyland Yutani/Umbrella type of stock evil company works for you. To me that's placeholder villainy. The game was more effective at establishing the bad guys as believable and odious at the same time.