The Perfect Non-Gamer Girl


New member
Aug 7, 2012
This is by far my favorite of your articles to date, I really felt like you were talking to me instead of me reading an article, which happens sometimes (not complaining haha). Im happy to hear the good news about you and your (soon to be) wife Congratz!

Lance Icarus

New member
Oct 12, 2007
I share this kind of relationship with my girlfriend. We're both gamers, but we find such great perspective when we talk about the things that we don't share in common. I'm more tech savvy and spend my time writing while she's way better at math and is skilled in sewing. When we talk about subjects that involve those elements, we tend to learn something about ourselves (usually that we're over-complicating the hell out of whatever we're doing). This kind of communication has been our secret to a happy, healthy relationship.

Mr. Rath and his fiance sound like they share something quite similar. I know that bond will serve them well and lead to many happy years of marriage, though I'm sure he's not going to want to see a mason jar again for a long, long time. I wish you guys the best!


Guild Warrior
Dec 14, 2009
I'm glad my girlfriend isn't a gamer girl, to be honest. She's still perfect.

I tried explaining the plot of Bioshock Infinite to her. It didn't go well.


New member
Dec 6, 2011
Wait, you've never thought about whether you preferred a created character vs. a pre-con character or developed (non-player) character? *That* is advanced game design? The question answered in Ultima 3/4? The question that's the central argument of WRPG vs. JRPG from the early days?


I'm coming across as condescending, I'm aware... but you're saying in the same breath that you value mastery of every aspect of all games, and that you haven't thought about any of the actual functions of them. Tabletop gaming covers this, WRPGs cover this very well by themselves, and certainly in contrast with JRPGs... hell, I remember a long-running argument comparing the way that faceless/characterized protags were covered between HL, Quake/DOOM, and... I wanna say Marathon, but it might've been SysShock/2 or Deus Ex (geez, I suddenly feel a bit old).

This is a great topic at cons and tournaments, too.

Don't you have to ask yourself why you like something? Don't you have to analyze what you actually enjoy and don't to figure out what you do and don't like about a game?


New member
May 1, 2012
I dont know how it would be for me if my bf wasnt into games aswell. I like it very much that we share a lot of our interessts even we differ drastically at some points, we never run out of things to talk about.
that he isnt into the same books as me is alright, as i read them alone, but i love to play together with him and would certainly miss spending our time together partially with gaming together. Part of that is also talking about games, figuring what is good about them and what is not.
Its like any hobby that I share with my partner and sharing something with your partner is something that I think to give a relationship good stability.

oh and congrats to you two :)


New member
Jun 7, 2010
Congratulations man! I just got married last October to my Non-Gamer gf, and I have to tell you, I wouldn't want it any other way :) That's not to say that she doesn't have a geeky side to her, she reads a lot of genre fiction and she loves Star Wars just as much as I do, we enjoy watching The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones on TV together and we geek out about that stuff.

I'm really glad we don't have exactly the same interests in everything because I find that a lot of people make the mistake of loosing ones self in a relationship (I really hate it when a buddy drops our DnD session because the significant other demands more attention). Maintaining individuality is healthy, and a healthy person makes for a great life partner :)


New member
Mar 6, 2013
Hope everything goes well for you.

My ex started playing "Left4Dead" with me and a few month later, she complained about the
disgusting games I was playing.


New member
Jul 4, 2008
I just don't discuss my gaming habits with women, out of all the women I've been with, only two of em didn't treat me like a loser for it, and I'd been with some of the more negative ones for a few months, but yeah whatever, where I live now, it's not really frowned upon as much, so, yeah...

But good luck with the marriage bro, cheers, I raise a pint in your honoour.

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
Fiz_The_Toaster said:
Congrats on your up and coming nuptials dude!

I know I've talked to some of my friends that have no interest in games at all and they ask me questions that make me have to think critically about why I like or dislike something. Even challenge why I did a certain thing in a game if and when that gets brought up, or if something hits the news and I get asked about it.
My only problem with that is that I tend to become, like, the official apologist for gaming. Which isn't totally bad, but getting fielded the same questions about things I don't know or necessarily care about as though I'm the expert on the field....

Like, it's a hobby. It doesn't really define me as a person. I do a lot of stuff. If there's one trait that probably defines me, it's my love for music. I can even understand why people would consider me an authority there; I studied music theory and performance in college. But games? Well, I'm more interested than they are, but....

I've gotten into conversations like that with other people that play games as well, so maybe I'm just used to engaging with people about that. I will say the first time I talked to someone about that I didn't know how to answer since it was something I never considered.
I think my biggest problem answering the question is that there's no right answer. I like both. I'm attached to both. I'm drawn to both. I'm not sure it's equal, but it's fairly close, because both have their strengths and weaknesses to me. I've kind of tossed around similar thoughts on my own, which may be informed by my background as a roleplayer (tabletop RPGs, that is, another thing I've become the official apologist for....).

theETG said:
If there's one thing I've learned from Jim, it's that there isn't a "perfect gamer girlfriend". Only perfect gamer girlfriend*s*.


XD, well, the message of Jim's episode was that there is no one deal for everyone, and I'd hope we didn't all have the same girlfriend. That could get awkward. Though Fappy and I may be...The similarities are numerous.... >.>

Anyway, I don't entirely get the whole "gamer girlfriend" obsession. I get that people want things in common with their SOs, but it seems like a lot of gamers seem to think they need a gamer partner specifically. I kind of wonder if people just see "gamer" as a bigger portion of their identity than I do.

For the record, my girlfriend is sort of a gamer. She got hooked on Skyrim and she routinely plays Minecraft, and there's Kingdom Hearts. I'm glad she's not, like, derisive, but I didn't go out looking for a gamer, and we became friends before I knew she played ANYTHING game-like. It certainly isn't a negative, but neither would it be a dealbreaker if she didn't like games. We have enough in common to keep us going regardless. Mostly being complete geeks and totally neurotic. Which she'll kill me for, when she sees this....


New member
Nov 2, 2010
Robert Rath said:
The Perfect Non-Gamer Girl

Knowing nothing about games can open your mind to their possibilities.

Read Full Article
Congrats Robert you are the reason I stay on the escapist.:)


New member
Dec 5, 2008
Congratulations. The wedding craziness passes. Get the thank-you cards off in the mail ASAP to have it done with.


New member
Dec 13, 2008
Obligatory congratulations!

I sort of relate- I once had a girlfriend that was very into gaming. Personally, I wasn't much of a gamer at the time (mostly due to lack of funds and my other interests, which to some degree still affect my lack of gaming), so she would explain things about games to me and I to her about music. It was nice to be able to share, and definitely drew me into gaming more, but it's not always so good. I once had another partner that was really into their sports, we were both so dismissive of eachother's interests that we frequently pissed eachother off.


You Gots to Chill
Sep 10, 2012
This was a great read! I often struggle with trying to find a fellow gamer, but searching for that and that alone, could cause me to miss out on some wonderful people. It's amazing that she takes interest in your gaming. If I found someone like that, I could completely be happy.


New member
Aug 24, 2010

Your story gives me hope, because all I ever seem to attract are non-gamer dudes. Or, at best, casual gamer dudes (e.g. one guy only ever played Football Manager, another, Forza, and both thought Dark Souls was "too nerdy", and while they'd play CoD and BF3 with me they were terrible at them). If fate continues to conspire against me and I never find the right gamer guy, I hope that at least he's like Danielle: willing to listen about my hobby, no matter how dorky he thinks it is.


New member
Jul 12, 2009
Congratulations and may it last for decades!

It's nice to see someone who respects the fact that their GF (fiancè/wife int his case) doesn't play game but is still somewaht interested in them i.e. being able to discuss and try to understand another persons way of life / interests.
Makes you both a lot smarter and knowledgable in ways I guess

and again
congratulations and good luck!