The second coming of Christ

[KeyMaster45]

So, about all the theories of Him arriving in silence. How about what reads in the Bible of Him arriving in a similar fashion and power as how a lightning flashes from east to west? Can't really say that is subtle, eh? I mean, to me that sounds more like "the mountains melting, stars falling and so on".

Let me tell you how it's gonna go down.

One day we'll all be going about our normal lives, not really giving a damn as usual. Then suddenly the skies will darken, a rift on an electric guitar will screech forth from the heavens, and in a flaming chariot built from the skulls of his enemies Jesus will descended. An lo, a chorus of angels blasting out the most righteous metal song ever heard by human ears will herald his arrival! The people will bow in welcome of the return of their lost god of metal, and the world will be brought to infinite peace as all those with hatred in their hearts are compelled to put aside their petty grievances and rock out!! He shall reign over a millennium of excellence that which the world has never seen and never will see again.

 

[keideki]

Oh no, you have it all wrong. Jesus will come back as a hipster to take only the hipest kids on the block away from squaresville.

 

[Wushu Panda]

Jesus will be a comedian.

Maybe Jesus came to us in the form of Mitch Hedberg and decided it wasn't time just yet?

 

[Exterminas]

I believe Yathzee is Jesus.

Possibly Movebob. Both would fit that description.

So, Jesus is an English person that lives in the land of 'roos, and makes satiric reviews of games and has no ethical limits doing so.
Makes sense.

Compared to being a carpenter/hobo in a desert where wood is extremely expensive who spends all day talking about wierd stuff with no practical relevance and only occaisionally gets busy with the local authorities?

I fail to see any decrease in sense xD

 

[Nenad]

But what about that 99% of people that don't have internet and so on?

But yeah, stories with pop culture references would be cool...

 

[Chasing-The-Light]

Am I the only one who thought when they saw the thread title 'Not another rapture prediction'?

Nope, you're definitely not. xD I thought it would be too. Or say, "hey this person thinks they're the second coming of Christ. Thoughts?"

 

[Twilight_guy]

You do realize that most people were farmers and such and thus those metaphors reached the greatest number of people and that some of his metaphors were understandable to everyone regardless, like the story of Lazarus, right?

That means his metaphors aren't going to reach the niche audience of nerds and will instead reach the greater audience of everyone. Many societies share lots of cultural ideas and practices that are far deeper then surface activities and interests. Take for example art, every society has some form of "art" and thus ideas about it as a core reach everyone even if individual types of art in different places vary.

 

[Jon Quixote]

People are speculating about a second coming when historians haven't really established that there was ever a first coming?

 

[ShindoL Shill]

maybe he has done that and just posts a lot on reddit...

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

He already did come back. He's in my basement right now, I'm holding him ransom so that I can sell him to Satan.

 

[Orange Monkey]

Tempting.

I will become a pious christian if Jesus steps up, bitchslaps the pope over the table, sits down and says "U jelly?"..

Are you sure you're not Jesus? Because that was Holy and Great

 

[Woodsey]

Er, yeah... You DO realize that your whole statement is - in fact - ridiculous, right? Just checking.

If you can hear a distant whistling, that's the sound of the OP going right over your head.

OT: I laughed, although I was admittedly waiting to laugh about this being a genuine discussion about the "second coming".

 

[JochemDude]

I don't believe he existed in the first place, the first record to my knowledge was probably a bible. So I don't see a book based on fiction is a good reference to believe in something like that.

If he were to exist and return he'd probably end up in a lunatic asylum, you know how many people in there think they're jesus.

 

[Anarchemitis]

Christ hung around with the rejects of society in those days. Thus he'd hang around with the rejects of society today.
Bums, drug addicts, shunned homosexuals, loners. People who's lives have been destroyed by circumstance.

...nerds too, right?

In the grander view of the world, there are far more destitute people than anyone who even has an idea what a computer is, let alone people who regularly spend hours on the internet and don't have to worry about feeding themselves.

 

[FalloutJack]

Er, yeah... You DO realize that your whole statement is - in fact - ridiculous, right? Just checking.

If you can hear a distant whistling, that's the sound of the OP going right over your head.

No, that was me, over yours.

 

[Woodsey]

Er, yeah... You DO realize that your whole statement is - in fact - ridiculous, right? Just checking.

If you can hear a distant whistling, that's the sound of the OP going right over your head.

No, that was me, over yours.

So you got it, you just decided to act like he was playing it straight (when he wasn't) and write a "I can't believe you're seriously suggesting that" response, just... because? OK then.

 

[BabyRaptor]

Today's Christians would call Jesus the anti-christ. He'd be better off hanging with us nerds.

 

[willingdruid]

But Charles Manson already came as the true reincarnation of Christ.

 

[FrostyChick]

Jesus coming again? Hand the dude a tissue already. x3

OT: Jesus was but a man,I don't believe there is a god. Therefore I don't believe Jesus will be returning to earth.

 

[LuckyClover95]

Christ hung around with the rejects of society in those days. Thus he'd hang around with the rejects of society today.
Bums, drug addicts, shunned homosexuals, loners. People who's lives have been destroyed by circumstance.

This is true, and to build on this, a lot of those couldn't afford games or tv or anything to keep up with pop culture, so it wouldn't be relevant. Although granted this is a fun topic. Before people start trolling and religion-bashing.