The second coming of Christ
- Thread starter Blazing Bird
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Oh he did exist, the Romans kept records of where people worked. The stories in the bible you can form your own opinion on, but historically there was a Jesus of Nazareth.JochemDude said:
If he's gonna go around making pop culture references then he will need Bill and Ted as his left and right hand men, that would be awesome!
I imagine if Jesus were to return today would piss off some TV evangelists and then go off into the Narjevo desert for 40 days. He would miraculously cure people of AIDS and feed 5000 with a cheeseburger and chips, turn coke cola into beer for a wedding party, walk across a lake, drive into Jerusalem in a Nissan Micra...and then three days after his death his followers will find the morgue door at the hospital open, and then Jesus will shoot off to heaven again.
I am wandering if anyone did was actually the new son or profit of christ he or she would not get a word in and they will be put down as crazy. Think of it is OK to talk to christ but if he talks back well of to the mental hatch with you.
If a mirikal or 2 was preformed it will all be wow until some cretin comes along and clams the blind man was never blind or the water to wine trick is not good enough we want vodka or a milkshake and the water he walked on was actually custard or something, those sorts of clames with todays multimedia connections would quickly bulls any amazement from anything.
Then again all this bibel stuff seamed to all be in middle easten deserty places much like the ones being bombed right now as we speek so i have a feeling if the son of god did rise again or his brother pops out chances are we has blown up as part of a peace bomb.
or finally he or she or it will come in a way we cannot conserve and will slip into the human concious before being shot down only to reamerge again making everyone go holy hell he is him.
If a mirikal or 2 was preformed it will all be wow until some cretin comes along and clams the blind man was never blind or the water to wine trick is not good enough we want vodka or a milkshake and the water he walked on was actually custard or something, those sorts of clames with todays multimedia connections would quickly bulls any amazement from anything.
Then again all this bibel stuff seamed to all be in middle easten deserty places much like the ones being bombed right now as we speek so i have a feeling if the son of god did rise again or his brother pops out chances are we has blown up as part of a peace bomb.
or finally he or she or it will come in a way we cannot conserve and will slip into the human concious before being shot down only to reamerge again making everyone go holy hell he is him.
Jesus answered, "A younger gamer was playing Call of Duty and he fell among 12th Prestigers, who both drop-shotted him, and departed, leaving him in Last Stand. By chance a certain hacker was going down that way. When he saw him, he passed by on the other side and continued on to the flag. In the same way a 13th Prestiger also, when he came to the place, and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a certain noob, as he traveled, came where he was. When he saw him, he was moved with compassion, came to him, and pressed X to revive him. He set the gamer on his way and assisted him in capturing the flag and spamming grenades all throughout the land. Now which of these three do you think seemed to be a better player to him who fell among the 12th Prestigers?"
He said, "He who showed mercy on him."
Then Jesus said to him, "Go and join LAN parties."
He said, "He who showed mercy on him."
Then Jesus said to him, "Go and join LAN parties."
That line killed me. Thank you.Aris Khandr said:
OP: The moment he calls me a n00b for being an atheist, I'm out.
According to the Roman historian Josephus, a guy named Ieshuah the Nazarene (let's call him 'josh')was actually a person who lived a life. He was most notably among the many competing messiahs attempting to attract followers in Jerusalem. In his own lifetime he was quite unsuccessful, and the cult that followed him only gained momentum through the efforts of people like St. Paul and the authors of the gospels many decades later. It is further arguable that what eventually became Christianity has more to do with Paul's writings than with any stories about a Galilean carpenter.KingofallCosmos said:
OT: I think you've got a point; he would likely want to use references to things we are familiar with to explain himself. I, for one, look forward to hearing him explain why infants sometimes contract terminal bone cancer in the form of 'the parable of the noob'.
There was a first coming? While there seems to be some shaky evidence that a man by the name of Yeshua was involved in some strange occurrences back in that day (the Nazareth portion, however, is false - the village did not exist in the same way that the Bible describes it), this is no way really suggests anything more than a man did some funky parlor tricks to amuse and astonish early age peasants and farmers living where he traveled (and pissed off everyone else, no less), and apparently had some decent charisma as well.
Also, he'd probably be indistinguishable from a random hobo that litters the red light district. Heck, Ultra-Conservative Christian Republicans would probably be the ones to mock and abuse him if he ever proclaimed to be Jesus, claiming "Your too ugly and poor to our KING!". Atheists and everyone else would probably be indifferent to the man, unless he started doing some of those funky miracles from the Bible that could be observed and verified by thousands of people as eyewitnesses without much variation, of course.
Also, he'd probably be indistinguishable from a random hobo that litters the red light district. Heck, Ultra-Conservative Christian Republicans would probably be the ones to mock and abuse him if he ever proclaimed to be Jesus, claiming "Your too ugly and poor to our KING!". Atheists and everyone else would probably be indifferent to the man, unless he started doing some of those funky miracles from the Bible that could be observed and verified by thousands of people as eyewitnesses without much variation, of course.
jesus will come back and return arnold and chuck norris to how they looked at their height of fame and then they will do some wicked sick tricks in some F-15 jets whilst jesus sings with queen.
Because he would bring back freddie mercury.
and the world will enter a new stage of peace
and the national anthem of earth will be flash gordon.
It will be glorious
Because he would bring back freddie mercury.
and the world will enter a new stage of peace
and the national anthem of earth will be flash gordon.
It will be glorious
I look forward to him doing an epic raid on Vatican city, taking all their epic loot, including the Popemobile and dropping it off at the nearest AIDS charity, just for irony.
When you consider his opinion on the rich and the moneylenders, and the wealth of the Vatican, I fear Jesus will either solo the place or just ragequit back to Heaven.
(Nearly typed OMG, but of course Jesus would say ...)
'OMD! Look guys, Epic Hat!'
When you consider his opinion on the rich and the moneylenders, and the wealth of the Vatican, I fear Jesus will either solo the place or just ragequit back to Heaven.
(Nearly typed OMG, but of course Jesus would say ...)
'OMD! Look guys, Epic Hat!'
See? I killed him, and he managed to come back and type a reply within a few hours.RedEyesBlackGamer said:
Maybe he'll also move mountains like he said he could, instead of just doing cheap parlor tricks like last time.
OT: This makes sense. And quite a lot of it too.
OT: This makes sense. And quite a lot of it too.