THE SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT TACONEWS!!!

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I said, what do GODS need with an internet forum?!

Spoiler: Well, you see

 

[Padwolf]

I am upset. Why aren't I being praised amongst the other gods? Why am I not worthy? I am upset and I shall take me and my mystical powers of godliness with me and go to another thread!

WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME?!

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

Frankly I was hoping that this story would have been reported by Taco News as well. Clearly they're slipping

 

[Skatologist]

I am upset. Why aren't I being praised amongst the other gods? Why am I not worthy? I am upset and I shall take me and my mystical powers of godliness with me and go to another thread!

WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME?!

Sorry, 5 digit posters or higher can only be gods. Even beings with magical powers can't be higher if they have 4 digits or lower worth of posts. You can maybe be a demigod though.

 

[Kolby Jack]

I said, what do GODS need with an internet forum?!

Spoiler: Well, you see

Why is God angry?!

Hey! You did not answer his question! What do Gods need with an internet forum?!

 

[Qwurty2.0]

I am upset. Why aren't I being praised amongst the other gods? Why am I not worthy? I am upset and I shall take me and my mystical powers of godliness with me and go to another thread!

WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME?!

Sorry, 5 digit posters or higher can only be gods. Even beings with magical powers can't be higher if they have 4 digits or lower worth of posts. You can maybe be a demigod though.

He doesn't post several times everyday for years because he's busy... and he expects to be taken seriously on top of that?!

 

[xaszatm]

I am upset. Why aren't I being praised amongst the other gods? Why am I not worthy? I am upset and I shall take me and my mystical powers of godliness with me and go to another thread!

WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME?!

So your avatar reflect what you're thinking right now?

 

[Alexei F. Karamazov]

Jim is the only god worthy of praise.

You might say something differently if you were to make, like, 20 more posts and return to this thread. Think of it: an arbitrary position of false-godhood with little to no powers! On the internet, no less! It could all be yours!!

OT: So according to my post count, I'm more of a level 2 fighter compared to these level 30 sorcerers and wizards. Part of me regrets lurking for all of those years, but whatever, being a shitty adventurer is much more interesting than bureaucratic godhood anyways. Can this humble warrior get a blessing? I've got to clear out some kobolds, and my rusty knife has been "fidgety," as of late.

 

[xaszatm]

Jim is the only god worthy of praise.

You might say something differently if you were to make, like, 20 more posts and return to this thread. Think of it: an arbitrary position of false-godhood with little to no powers! On the internet, no less! It could all be yours!!

OT: So according to my post count, I'm more of a level 2 fighter compared to these level 30 sorcerers and wizards. Part of me regrets lurking for all of those years, but whatever, being a shitty adventurer is much more interesting than bureaucratic godhood anyways. Can this humble warrior get a blessing? I've got to clear out some kobolds, and my rusty knife has been "fidgety," as of late.

*ahem*

BLESSED BE THIS YOUNG TRAVELER! MAY HIS POSTS BRING MERRIMENT. MAY HIS REPLIES SPARK DEBATE! FOR BLESSED IS HE THAT WALKS THE PATH OF THE ESCAPIST! ALWAYS QUESTIONING, ALWAYS JOYFUL! LET HIM DISCOVER THE JOY FOUND IN THESE FORUMS AS WE ALL DO WHEN WE WALK THE PATH OF THE CRUNCHY SHELL. AND, MOST OF ALL, LET HIM BLAME KROSS WHENEVER FOUL MISFORTUNE FOLLOWS HIM!

 

[Lunar Templar]

Jim is the only god worthy of praise.

You might say something differently if you were to make, like, 20 more posts and return to this thread. Think of it: an arbitrary position of false-godhood with little to no powers! On the internet, no less! It could all be yours!!

I'm working on it, one can not rush ascend to divinity. Bad things tend to happen to those who rush these things.

 

[The White Hunter]

It's a good thing gods bow before me then isn't it.

 

[Lieju]

But why isn't anyone talking about Taco's ties to the wheelbarrow and zeppelin-industry!!?

My proof:

Hey guys you should all buy a lot of wheelbarrows. Everyday, after intense tacoing, I take all my wheelbarrows to my private zeppelin to just chill out in the upper atmosphere.

Taco was PAID OFF.

WHY IS NO NEWS SOURCE REPORTING THIS!!?

 

[Fappy]

I was a god before it was cool. Y'all just jelly.

Now scratch me under my chin.

Yes, like that.... mmmm....

 

[Alexei F. Karamazov]

Jim is the only god worthy of praise.

You might say something differently if you were to make, like, 20 more posts and return to this thread. Think of it: an arbitrary position of false-godhood with little to no powers! On the internet, no less! It could all be yours!!

OT: So according to my post count, I'm more of a level 2 fighter compared to these level 30 sorcerers and wizards. Part of me regrets lurking for all of those years, but whatever, being a shitty adventurer is much more interesting than bureaucratic godhood anyways. Can this humble warrior get a blessing? I've got to clear out some kobolds, and my rusty knife has been "fidgety," as of late.

*ahem*

BLESSED BE THIS YOUNG TRAVELER! MAY HIS POSTS BRING MERRIMENT. MAY HIS REPLIES SPARK DEBATE! FOR BLESSED IS HE THAT WALKS THE PATH OF THE ESCAPIST! ALWAYS QUESTIONING, ALWAYS JOYFUL! LET HIM DISCOVER THE JOY FOUND IN THESE FORUMS AS WE ALL DO WHEN WE WALK THE PATH OF THE CRUNCHY SHELL. AND, MOST OF ALL, LET HIM BLAME KROSS WHENEVER FOUL MISFORTUNE FOLLOWS HIM!

... I'm ready.

COFFEE FOR THE COFFEE GOD!! TACOS FOR THE TACO THRONE!!

 

[PsychicTaco115]

Hey guys you should all buy a lot of wheelbarrows. Everyday, after intense tacoing, I take all my wheelbarrows to my private zeppelin to just chill out in the upper atmosphere.

Taco was PAID OFF.

WHY IS NO NEWS SOURCE REPORTING THIS!!?

Welp, the proof is in the pudding

I'll have to write about my own inner corruption and other such theological nonsense

However, I can confirm that no wheelbarrows were harmed in my zepplin

 

[Souplex]

[HEADING=1]PRAISE BE TO THE ESCAPIST PANTHEON!!!

PRAISE BE TO PSYCHOTACO115: SEER OF ALL REALITIES

PRAISE BE TO DAYSTAR: ELDER GOD

PRAISE BE TO CARAMEL FRAPPE: COFFEE GOD

PRAISE BE TO FAPPY: CAT GOD

PRAISE BE TO VAULT101: REVIVED GOD[/HEADING]

Not a one of those is accurate.
We old ones are displeased by your worship of the false NewScapist gods.
The OldScapist shall awaken from its slumber and devour you all!
Then you will remember that Souplex is your one true master.
Tha sinn Escapist!

 

[Andy Shandy]

You do all realise you're just feeding the post god, Sassafrass right? And each post builds up his strength until he returns to this mortal realm and kills all the...mortals. With Football Manager probably.

 

[xaszatm]

[HEADING=1]PRAISE BE TO THE ESCAPIST PANTHEON!!!

PRAISE BE TO PSYCHOTACO115: SEER OF ALL REALITIES

PRAISE BE TO DAYSTAR: ELDER GOD

PRAISE BE TO CARAMEL FRAPPE: COFFEE GOD

PRAISE BE TO FAPPY: CAT GOD

PRAISE BE TO VAULT101: REVIVED GOD[/HEADING]

Not a one of those is accurate.
We old ones are displeased by your worship of the false NewScapist gods.
The OldScapist shall awaken from its slumber and devour you all!
Then you will remember that Souplex is your one true master.
Tha sinn Escapist!

You do all realise you're just feeding the post god, Sassafrass right? And each post builds up his strength until he returns to this mortal realm and kills all the...mortals. With Football Manager probably.

NEW HOLY ONES!!!

[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL ANDY SHANDY: GOD OF DISASTER!

ALL HAIL SOUPLEX: GOD OF THE OLD ONES![/HEADING]

 

[Qwurty2.0]

[HEADING=1]

WE ALL KNOW LARGE, COLORED TEXT IS THE TRUE GOD OF THESE FORUMS​

[/HEADING]

 

[RipRoaringWaterfowl]

Well, damn. I leave for a few months and now all these cults are springing up!

WELL COUNT ME IN!!!