The slut issue

[JimB]

And yet if you ask anyone involved with the slut walk movement (which is ultimately the reason we're having this conversation), they'll tell you that's exactly what it means, and since that's not a bad thing, we shouldn't be using the word as a pejorative. It absolutely boggles the mind.

I fundamentally don't get the "Let's reclaim this or that word!" thing. You* want to be called a slut, but you want it to mean something else and to have to guess which definition people are using? If that's what floats your boat, well, no skin off my ass, but not for nothing, I'd just rather people stop calling one another sluts.

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*Not you specifically. I am addressing the hypothetical person we're discussing.

 

[Shadowstar38]

Except it'd be absurd to take it at face value, even if it'd make the world nice and simple. There's a social context to the word. It doesn't vanish.

Always assuming that a word has the more negative connotation is just as absurd. A large number of words can be used with other meanings, but you ant let your mind default on the lesser one.

Funny, where the hell did I say to always assume the more negative connotation? If you're out of arguments you can just admit you're wrong instead of misrepresenting what I said.

You love to make out of left field assumptions dont you?

"It'd be absurd to take it at face value" If we're on the same page, face value meaning the straight up, no context definition I was using. That seems to imply that in a society where slut can be used as an insult instead, you should more or less go with that.

If we're in a misunderstanding, just say so instead of jumping to accusing me of trying to discredit you. You went to that conclusion way too fast.

 

[Mel Theofficegamergirl]

we don't call those types of people sluts, we call them swingers. You shouldn't use hateful words for those who live an alternative lifestyle. Of course, if they're just lying to people and causing harm to others, then yes, they are indeed a slut. Doesn't mean you should call them out on it though as that's rather rude.

 

[Shadowstar38]

I didn't, you misrepresented what I said.

And maybe the obvious eludes you, but face value isn't the only way to take it besides negatively.

Still, the point I made 3 or 4 posts ago still fits. No matter how many ways there are to take it, it's all reliant on context. Nothing you said has "eluded" me as you say.

 

[Stasisesque]

Problem: when did "slut" come to mean "a woman who is honest about her sex drive, and enjoys sex?"

Outside of porn, I'm guessing more or less never.

And yet if you ask anyone involved with the slut walk movement (which is ultimately the reason we're having this conversation), they'll tell you that's exactly what it means, and since that's not a bad thing, we shouldn't be using the word as a pejorative. It absolutely boggles the mind.

I don't know what a Slut Walk is where you're from, but here they are protests against rape, not about enjoying sex. To participate in a Slut Walk is to demonstrate a woman should not have to change her attitude or clothing to avoid getting raped, but that people shouldn't rape in the first place.

Look up why they're called slut walks. It involved a cop suggesting that women probably shouldn't walk alone in a bad part of town "dressed like a slut," and it snowballed from there. It's primarily a protest against rape, but it's the use of the word "slut" that got everyone pissed off in the first place, and that definition is the reason frequently given for why the word itself is so offensive.

The cop told women not to 'dress like sluts' in order to stay safe, i.e. to avoid getting raped. The founders of the movement responded to this by latching on to the offensive word, it isn't an attempt to reclaim the word as some sort of positive term.

Slut Walks are so named, at least the ones in London, to shock people into realising it isn't okay to use words like 'slut' to make excuses. A woman who enjoys sex is not a slut, a woman who dresses provocatively is not 'asking for it', and 'slut-shaming' is repulsive behaviour. Perhaps some critics have taken the marches and their name the wrong way, but from those I know (and myself) who have joined up with these women, it isn't about reclaiming the word but shaming every single person who's used it and thought it was fine.

 

[Shadowstar38]

I didn't, you misrepresented what I said.

And maybe the obvious eludes you, but face value isn't the only way to take it besides negatively.

Still, the point I made 3 or 4 posts ago still fits. No matter how many ways there are to take it, it's all reliant on context. Nothing you said has "eluded" me as you say.

Obviously it did unless you're saying you intentionally misrepresented my argument.

I wasn't attempting to misrepresent a thing. Nothing eluded me. But this is just becoming a back and forth. So, it's whatever.

 

[Shadowstar38]

I didn't, you misrepresented what I said.

And maybe the obvious eludes you, but face value isn't the only way to take it besides negatively.

Still, the point I made 3 or 4 posts ago still fits. No matter how many ways there are to take it, it's all reliant on context. Nothing you said has "eluded" me as you say.

Obviously it did unless you're saying you intentionally misrepresented my argument.

I wasn't attempting to misrepresent a thing. Nothing eluded me. But this is just becoming a back and forth. So, it's whatever.

A contradiction. Either you forgot a possibility or you were just dishonest. Because you clearly misrepresented what I said.

But really, it's a back and forth because you just go back to something I already replied to when I point out that you're being dishonest.

Dishonest? No. I told you posts ago I wasn't clear on your point. Which we've completely missed with this side adventure we've taken.

 

[Luna]

Well firstly you're assuming that it IS wrong in the first place, which is another discussion altogether.


If you're a chick and the comment hurts you then it means that deep down you're ashamed of your lifestyle, so taking responsibility and changing would probably be a good step. Alternatively you might be upset because this person is trying to upset you, and people tend to get hurt when people try to purposely upset you.


If it doesn't affect you, then that's cool, you're comfortable with who you are. Great. Haters gonna hate. Just don't cheat on a guy when you're in a relationship, that's never cool.

 

[William Dickbringer]

So I have a question...

We call someone a liar if they lie, especially if they lie a lot.

We call someone a cheater if they cheat, especially if they cheat a lot (Whether we speak from a videogame sense or a marriage-breaking stance)

We call someone a gamer if they play a lot of games... I could go on, you get the point.

So then why is it "wrong" to call someone a player/slut if they sleep around a lot? It seems to me like you're just stating the obvious with this, you know?

because of this double standard that guys are manly for sleeping with 20 women yet a girl sleeps with 1/4 of that she's a slut thus equaling she has no use to society other than to be a walking cum rag and nothing else

 

[Shadowstar38]

Right, so clearly something eluded you if you got it wrong and misrepresented it.

And we missed it? I have it down. You're the first one to give a reply that didn't address what I actually said.

I addressed what you said. Then we went on this little tangent because you decided it would be best to reply aggressively as possible.

 

[axlryder]

I would call a man or woman a slut if they were using dishonest or manipulative tactics in order to get sex, they were trying get sex from someone they shouldn't, they were trying to get sex in an inappropriate situation, or they were using sex to get leverage. In that sense, I personally have no problem using the word. I know a woman who repeatedly tried to get with a married man when it clearly wasn't okay. I called her a slut. When I worked at a bar one of my customers kept trying to grind me during my shift in order to try and get free drinks for her and her friends. I kindly asked the bouncers to remove that "slut". I know a guy who would go to bars and badger woman into having sex with him. I called him a slut too. To me slut is a word for scummy people in relation to sex. Not for people who just have lots of sex. I used to refer to prostitutes as sluts, but the word has such a negative connotation associated with it that those people don't deserve such a mean spirited label on the whole. Many of them are just trying to make a living by providing a mutually agreed upon service.

So, to the OP's original point, I'd personally say no, you shouldn't call someone a slut just because they like to fuck.

 

[Shadowstar38]

So you are being dishonest. Because asking me about a position I don't hold isn't addressing what I said. Misrepresentation is not addressing. Oh and I could be much more aggressive. Just like you could have been more honest.

My point is that I wasn't being dishonest. I read your post. You meant Y. It sounded like X. You could have easily made things more clear right after something sounded wrong instead of jumping to " you can admit you're wrong".