The slut issue

[UberNoodle]

Here's a test for you do OP:

Imagine a male rapper singing a song in which he boasts about being a player. Now imagine a woman rapper siging a song about how much of a slut she is.

You can't honestly say that you responded equally to both. Most likely, the male rapper was kind of heroic for all his conquests, and the women is someone you wouldn't f**k with somebody elses d**k, or you'd at least wear two condoms.

Player is clearly a word designed to stroke male egos. Slut, however has this etymological origin:

c.1400, "a dirty, slovenly, or untidy woman," probably cognate with dialectal Ger. Schlutt "slovenly woman," dialectal Swed. slata "idle woman, slut," and Du. slodder "slut," but the ultimate origin is doubtful. Chaucer uses sluttish (late 14c.) in reference to the appearance of an untidy man. Also "a kitchen maid, a drudge" (mid-15c.; hard pieces in a bread loaf from imperfect kneading were called slut's pennies, 18c.). Meaning "woman of loose character, bold hussy" is attested from mid-15c.; playful use of the word, without implication of loose morals, is attested from 1660s.

Our little girl Susan is a most admirable slut, and pleases us mightily. [Pepys, diary, Feb. 21, 1664]

Sometimes used 19c. as a euphemism for ***** to describe a female dog. There is a group of North Sea Germanic words in sl- that mean "sloppy," and also "slovenly woman," and that tend to evolve toward "woman of loose morals" (cf. slattern, also English dial. slummock "a dirty, untidy, or slovenly person," 1861; M.Du. slore "a sluttish woman").

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=slut

 

[sunsetspawn]

The problem it's that it doesn't just categorize, it judges. "Liar" just mean "person who tells lies," but "slut" means "person who has a lot of sex and is a bad person because of that."

That's not entirely true. Although I prefer the term "hoe" because I grew up in New York, let's go with "slut" for the moment.

Slut doesn't have to be bad. A girl can be a righteous slut, or not. I love a good righteous slut because they know what they want, don't care what others think, and they do their dirt for themselves.

Then there's the kind of slut that behaves that way for the approval of men, and that shit is rather off-putting.

See, if I'm talking about a righteous slut I just make sure to emphasize the word "righteous," and I also explain what I'm talking about. Of course, I say "righteous hoe," but hey, I'm in New York, fuhgeddaboutit.

 

[sunsetspawn]

Oh and people, grow up and take the gender off the word slut. It applies to us all.

I'm going to address this because it's simply incorrect. In the case of promiscuity the different terms for men and women are there for a reason. For a straight man to be promiscuous he needs to have two additional character traits in addition to simply wanting to make cumsies with a woman.

First, a man must be skilled in the art of seduction or simply be able to spot a woman too drunk to say no. Of course, this trait is inversely preportional to how attractive said man is, but no matter how attractive, some degree of seduction must be present.

Second, that man must also posses the ability to disregard the emotions of the woman involved. Now, it may not be always be the case that you will hurt the woman in question, but it often will be and therefore requires the ability to not care if you do so. This is actually the reason I've bowed out of dating for over a year: I don't feel capable of actually having a relationship, but I don't want to hurt any feelings with casual nut busting.

A woman needs no other trait other than desire.

Class dismissed.

 

[FallenMessiah88]

Because words like "liar" and "cheater" are merely descriptive terms, while "slut" is judgemental.

Also, "slut" can also be used against men just as much as against women.

 

[Musette]

Above all else, it's the connotation of the word and the implied judgements made. "Slut" tends to have a negative connotation, as it implies that you are not as good of a person because of how much you sleep around or how provocatively you dress. Because of this connotation, calling a person a slut is making an assumption that they dress too provocatively or sleep around too much, and by extension, assuming that this person is inferior because of these traits.

I know that people are trying to retake the word and give it a positive meaning, but the connotation hasn't really changed yet.

 

[GildaTheGriffin]

Slut is a word that describes a women that has a lot of sex with many different men or dresses provocatively. Usually from my POV, women who are sluts are usually dress with a very design to provoke men to have sex with her.

Though never call a women a slut if she sleeps/have sex with one man a lot.

 

[Infernai]

I'll leave you with this piece of wisdom OP: you can say anything you like, anything. It just depends on how you say it.

In other words:


As you said, you can say anything you want. It just depends on how you say it. Also, is it wrong that i've really been wanting to use that clip i just posted for a long time?

(Thank you for giving me the opportunity to do so)

 

[CannibalCorpses]

I use the word slut to mean anyone who has a lot of sexual partners in a short space of time. I've called my brother a slut for having 3 partners on the go at once. I've called my female friends sluts when they pull in a nightclub on multiple occasions. I've been called a slut for pulling a different girl 3 weeks running.

From what i've read on here, it depends on which country you live in as to what the actual context is. I'm from northern England and we tend to be rather blunt in our approach to language, but also less harsh in meaning. I call my friends '****' from time to time and it has no more meaning than 'mate'...slut is no different.

 

[kyuzo3567]

So I have a question...

We call someone a liar if they lie, especially if they lie a lot.

We call someone a cheater if they cheat, especially if they cheat a lot (Whether we speak from a videogame sense or a marriage-breaking stance)

We call someone a gamer if they play a lot of games... I could go on, you get the point.

So then why is it "wrong" to call someone a player/slut if they sleep around a lot? It seems to me like you're just stating the obvious with this, you know?

So I don't know if it's been said or not as I don't have time to read through 9 pages as I should be studying.... but the original term for slut was actually used to describe a woman who kept a messy room/house.
On a related note, "broad" means a slab of meat with a hole in it... so it's a very offensive word to use to describe someone

 

[Tono Makt]

So I have a question...

We call someone a liar if they lie, especially if they lie a lot.

We call someone a cheater if they cheat, especially if they cheat a lot (Whether we speak from a videogame sense or a marriage-breaking stance)

We call someone a gamer if they play a lot of games... I could go on, you get the point.

So then why is it "wrong" to call someone a player/slut if they sleep around a lot? It seems to me like you're just stating the obvious with this, you know?

Lots of problems with this line of thought. Not going to go through all 9 pages (even if it does occupy my mind while my Tigers implode in New York) to see my points have been brought up already or not, just going to make my own post.

1) Liar, Cheater and Gamer are fairly value-neutral in North America. People don't care about people lying or cheating anymore unless they are personally being taken advantage of. Just look at politics; people will accept most lies from the people they support, but will jump on every little potential lie from their opponents. They will accept their own side cheating to gain an advantage over the other side, but if their opponents act with anything less that absolute perfect neutrality and honour they scream about it.

In fact quite often we reward people for lying and cheating. Marketing is all about lying to consumers to get them to buy products without actually being able to be legally charged; look at the previews and professional reviews for movies, music, TV and games, or electronics, or books, or damn near anything. When was the last time you got a Bacon Mushroom Melt at Wendy's that looked like the burgers on the commercial? Or what about the favourite stereotype of liars and cheaters - Used Car Salesmen?

Gamer is a badge of honour to our sub-culture. And it's not used as a derogative in wider culture - calling someone a gamer is more likely to elicit looks of confusion than understanding. It doesn't belong on this list in any way, shape or form - it's like saying "Baseball, Basketball, Football or Noodling."

But Slut is entirely derogative. It's entirely value-based - and that value is the Judeo-Christian value of chastity. In our Judeo-Christian culture women are expected to have a single sexual partner in her life: her husband. To have more than one partner is to be either a failure as a woman or as a tragedy, since it means she is a widow so her husband has died. Beyond being a widow, there is no situation in which a woman would be allowed to have multiple sexual partners and still be considered virtuous.

You can have a situation where you cheat or lie to a heathen, a pagan, and infidel or someone who isn't of the same Judeo-Christian sect as your own. Lying to them, or cheating them, isn't a sin except to the most honest and stringent of believers. But there is no situation where a woman can screw two guys and get away with it. That is where the word slut comes from in our culture.

Maybe in another generation, Slut will be the same as Liar or Cheat. People will look back on it as a relic of a simpler time, a rather cute little way of dating oneself. "Did you call her a slut? Far out Daddy-O, that's a rad cuss!" It won't have an impact on people as people will more likely to accept that women will enjoy sex as much as men, and will want as much variety as men tend to enjoy. But until then, using the term is going to cause a stir.

 

[IronMit]

It's feminism missing the point again.

Women get called sluts
Men get called players

Women say it's not fair..and say it's sexist.


What women should really do is just start calling men 'sluts'.

Both sets of people called sluts. No long sexist. Problem solved. Standards raised.

 

[Kevin7557]

So I have a question...

We call someone a liar if they lie, especially if they lie a lot.

We call someone a cheater if they cheat, especially if they cheat a lot (Whether we speak from a videogame sense or a marriage-breaking stance)

We call someone a gamer if they play a lot of games... I could go on, you get the point.

So then why is it "wrong" to call someone a player/slut if they sleep around a lot? It seems to me like you're just stating the obvious with this, you know?

Absolutely nothing but people don't like to hear the truth.

 

[sumanoskae]

Because it's indicative of the last remnants off the most backward parts of our history, where sex is still considered something sordid and shameful, particularly for women.

If someone lies or cheats, even if they're lying to protect someone, or cheating on an already dead marriage, there is still an argument to be made that they have done something wrong.

Calling someone who plays games a 'gamer' is nothing more than a descriptive term, and I've never seen that particular term used as an insult like, for example 'nerd' has been.

If someone who is single chooses to have a lot of sex, so long as they are aware of and take measures against the risks involved, 'slut' does not count as a descriptive term because it implies other things, such as having no moral code, no standards, and no sense of responsibility.

Calling any woman who has a lot of sex, regardless of whether they are responsible or not, a 'slut' is not being descriptive, it's being a controlling, repressed bigot.

Agreed, we as a society need to get over this type of shit.

Even if, for whatever reason, you believe the practice of promiscuity to be "Wrong" in some sense, that doesn't give you moral high ground, and it sure as hell doesn't excuse you for being judgmental.

 

[Dascylus]

Oh and people, grow up and take the gender off the word slut. It applies to us all.

I'm going to address this because it's simply incorrect. In the case of promiscuity the different terms for men and women are there for a reason. For a straight man to be promiscuous he needs to have two additional character traits in addition to simply wanting to make cumsies with a woman.

First, a man must be skilled in the art of seduction or simply be able to spot a woman too drunk to say no. Of course, this trait is inversely preportional to how attractive said man is, but no matter how attractive, some degree of seduction must be present.

Second, that man must also posses the ability to disregard the emotions of the woman involved. Now, it may not be always be the case that you will hurt the woman in question, but it often will be and therefore requires the ability to not care if you do so. This is actually the reason I've bowed out of dating for over a year: I don't feel capable of actually having a relationship, but I don't want to hurt any feelings with casual nut busting.

A woman needs no other trait other than desire.

Class dismissed.

So men have to be skilled in the art of seduction but women have to just look good?

I've had this discussion before but I'll let you gather your info first hand.
Here's how you do it. Find a mature reasonably good looking girl and with all seriousness suggest to her that all she needs to do to get the man of her choice into bed is to shake her boobs/ass or give a cute smile.

I have bowed out of dating because I don't work with relationships but I am 99% sure that I have not hurt any of the partners I have had in the last 18 months.
And here's how I do it... I do not lie to them.

Slut is a word used by some to hurt others. Let's stop doing that.