The stereotypical human

[megamanenm]

So let's say an alien visits you, happens to speak fluent English, and asks you the psychological characteristics of the average human. What do you say?

 

[delet]

Fat and stupid seems to fit most people...

 

[Cherry Cola]

"I'll tell you this much: They know better than to walk up to a random stranger when asking about vital information concerning alien liveforms."

Then I steal his lazor guns and his space-mobile-thingy

 

[Roofstone]

Tastes good, I guess. Exept me and my closest friends and relatives of course.

 

[joshuaayt]

I'd send him to /b/, see if he tries to destroy us for it.

 

[Jackalb]

"Anal Probe me and find out..use a BIIG one"

 

[JEBWrench]

"I'll tell you this much: They know better than to walk up to a random stranger when asking about vital information concerning alien liveforms."

Then I steal his lazor guns and his space-mobile-thingy

I'm going with Hubilub's answer on this one.

ADDENDUM: Also, I'd probably ask it why it bothered learning English when Mandarin is the most common native tongue in the world, and Spanish the most common western tongue.

 

[megamanenm]

"I'll tell you this much: They know better than to walk up to a random stranger when asking about vital information concerning alien liveforms."

Then I steal his lazor guns and his space-mobile-thingy

I'm going with Hubilub's answer on this one.

ADDENDUM: Also, I'd probably ask it why it bothered learning English when Mandarin is the most common native tongue in the world, and Spanish the most common western tongue.

And English is the most widely spoken language

 

[JEBWrench]

"I'll tell you this much: They know better than to walk up to a random stranger when asking about vital information concerning alien liveforms."

Then I steal his lazor guns and his space-mobile-thingy

I'm going with Hubilub's answer on this one.

ADDENDUM: Also, I'd probably ask it why it bothered learning English when Mandarin is the most common native tongue in the world, and Spanish the most common western tongue.

And English is the most widely spoken language

Yes, but you increase the chance of miscommunication by using a second language for both speakers in a conversation.

 

[blackhole1]

I'd tell him that he's an idiot and that humanity is far to complex to sum up in one sentence. That would be like trying to describe all the planets in the galaxy; you would only be able to mention the most basic characteristics. You would never be able to go into any detail, or at least not any detail that matters.

 

[Sworm]

"OH THANK THE HEAVENS YOU ARE HERE! Please get me off of this planet infested with stupidity, cruelty and selfishness! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!"

nah I kid (or do I?) but I would probably describe him both ends of the scales (according to my opinion) and tell him that most of swim somewhere in the middle.

I'd send him to /b/, see if he tries to destroy us for it.

I'm considering that as on of the ends of my scale...

ADDENDUM: Also, I'd probably ask it why it bothered learning English when Mandarin is the most common native tongue in the world, and Spanish the most common western tongue.

Those are the most spoken languages, according to sheer numbers of humans speaking it. But they aren't the most common.

You can go around almost anywhere in the world and there's a far better chance that people there can understand English to some extent then they could Manderin or Spanish.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

"Capable of great cruelty and great kindness. And invented both those words, as no other species they know of has any conception of them."

 

[Shock and Awe]

A human is smart, sympathetic, and adaptive. Groups of humans on the other hand are stupid, cruel, and stagnant.

 

[Eternalsun]

I shoot it make up a racist name abuse it and put into slavery.
And thats what humans are like

 

[iLikeHippos]

It feels as if there needs to come in a famous quote here that pretty much sums humanity up.

... Not that I know of any.

I'd say "Intelligent, non-enigmatic beings who are easily misguided, depending which ones they look up for"

 

[Sworm]

Yes, but you increase the chance of miscommunication by using a second language for both speakers in a conversation.

But if one speaker has no clue on the first language of the other, then I doubt that communication is going to be a hole lot better.

I'd assume that if a... let's say Arabian and Chinese person would want to communicate, they wouldn't go with Arabic or Mandarin/Cantonese (assuming either can't speak the other) and would probably attempt communication in a second language, most probably english.

It feels as if there needs to come in a famous quote here that pretty much sums humanity up.

... Not that I know of any.

I'd say "Intelligent, non-enigmatic beings who are easily misguided, depending which ones they look up for"

"There are 2 things that are infinite: The Universe and Human stupidity, and I'm not yet sure of the first one" A. Einstein

 

[Velvo]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *run away*

But, less realistically...
Adaptable, require company (even if it's just themselves), curious, intelligent and emotional. Confused and small by themselves, wrecking machines in large groups with the accumulated knowledge of their ancestors. Want more than anything to survive and breed, but methods may not be apparent (even to themselves) or effective, due to their significant reliance on cognitive prowess to solve problems. Intelligence comes in handy when adapting quickly, but complicates emotional processes and societal collections. Self destructively violent ever since they started competing for resources with themselves instead of other species (probably before then, competing for mates). But did I mention adaptable?

 

[Folio]

"Mostly Harmless" Yes, I went there.

 

[Velvo]

"There are 2 things that are infinite: The Universe and Human stupidity, and I'm not yet sure of the first one" A. Einstein

Haha! Yeah, and I think he ended up wrong about the first one after all (well, defining the universe as this particular bit of spacetime.) Question: is a human infinitely stupid if he's dead? 'Cause... that's kinda the lowest IQ you could get. Also is a human a human if he's dead?

 

[Con Carne]

I'd tell it that with Obama in office, it would be much easier for it to live here, without much need to find a job.....and to not use the president for a basis of average intelligence or behavior.