The strangest thing a teacher ever told you about themselves

[Froggy Slayer]

(impossible - no warrant).

Technically, considering half of these are already illegal spies looking for advanced technology on foreign ground already, why would they care much about a search warrant?

And if the government wanted this 'spaceship', they'd find a way to get it.

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

My college tutor once told me that he caught a couple having oral sex in the campus once.

Apparently the girl's excuse was that she was scratching an itch on his nutsack.

Of course. The mark of a good friend is that they'll help scratch your persistent itches using their teeth!

Really? I think I need some new friends.... >

I'm known to gnaw on my friends every once in awhile... Shoulders, arms, anything that gets neat my food... Never used teeth to scratch an itch on anyone other than myself though.
I once bit someone to retrieve a piece of cake for a friend though .


I once had a math teacher back in grade 8, that told us about how he kept a chainsaw in the trunk of his car, mainly because he found driving out to his family's propperty out of town and cutting down a tree to be incredibly theraputic after teaching idiot kids. Also, he banged on the wall so hard the room shook when the english class nextdoor, was being loud in a presentation, dude was built like some unholy crossbreed of a house and a bear. Spent most of the class telling stories and jokes in between showing us formulas.

 

[KaosuHamoni]

My A Level Physics teacher is a Creationist.

Think about that for a bit.

 

[The Funslinger]

Oh yes, my Psychology teacher, who is Bangladeshi, by the way, is a Scottish Laird. A few years ago, his class all pitched in and bought him a plot of land in the Highlands as a surprise present.

 

[Mr Fixit]

I was told by a teacher once that I would make a good husband, because I just did my work without complaining or trying to get out of doing it.

I used to talk to my high school librarian about alcohol & our favorite drinks.

When I told my art teacher in college that I liked Pink Floyd she started telling stories about getting high with friends while listening to Pink Floyd back in the late 60s.

One substitute teacher I had in high school didn't say anything odd, but she was younger than me & very sexy too...

One of my history teachers was also the football coach & he would draw terrifying little cartoons on the paper of any of the football players in his classes being murdered or dying in horrible fashion. He would also give us tips on playing GTA 2.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Had a Karate instructor in 1st grade.

Some odd years later, he was busted for being a pedophile.

...Kinda creepy.

 

[winginson]

In year 11 sex-ed our teacher (who was about 25) said cowgirl is her favorite, gave advice to the girls about anal and she had had a threesome.

On a school trip the teachers got drunk on the last night, and we had a great time getting them to tell us things they shouldn't.

 

[CommanderL]

One of the relief teacher would always tell epic yarns about why he has a beard and other cool stuff

 

[Issurru]

I had the same teacher for grade 9 and 10 English class, but I think it was in grade 9 that he told the class "just because there's a goalie in the net doesn't mean that you can't score" I think all the guys in the class laughed while some of the girls seemed somewhat offended. Nothing bad came of it, but it was pretty funny. He was my favorite teacher because he said things like that. Also made fun of one of the math teachers because he was always flirting with the hot girls in his math classes (he even coached the girls volleyball team)

Also had a science teacher teach us how to safely light our hands on fire, also graded you on how much he liked you. Pretty sure he drank while teaching too, he always joked about it but he always had a "water bottle" with him. I was rather surprised he ended up getting fired for having sex with a student or something though (I only heard rumours since it happened a few years after I graduated) and that it wasn't the previously mentioned math teacher.

This was all in a "city" high school, and by "city" I mean it had just over 5000 people who were mostly over the age of 55. In this city

 

[Fluffythepoo]

Science teacher in grade 8 used to work in at an aquarium and he said he could still give the whole tour without even being at the park, we asked him ifhed give it to us if we did good on our next test. So the next day after a test he gave us verbatim a 40 minute imaginary tour of the Vancouver aquarium in our classroom (which was in newfoundland 6000 kilometres away)

 

[Sqrt(-1)]

Well, my 8th grade math teacher had a T.V. in the back of the room, but he always kept it covered with a shirt because he thought the government was using it to spy on him. Everyone now thinks he's crazy, but I just think he was referencing 1984.

My high school history teacher (who I had for all four years) was awesome. He was kicked out of a diner in Detroit. After waiting 15 minutes for a waiter, she said 'Sorry, we didn't notice you,' to which he replied 'How? I'm like a marshmallow in a cup of hot chocolate.'

He was also stationed in West Berlin when the wall fell, and before that he was arrested by the Russians when he got too close to the wall while he was was visiting the East side. He said 'nothing is scarier than being yelled at by Russians with guns, but it was worth it because I bought jewelry for my wife for about $20.'

 

[Gentleman Adventurer]

I had a Thai Econ professor tell us that we should all go to Bangkok, Thailand for cheap sex. He also said that the Bangkok girls were much prettier than the cows we have here in the Midwestern United States. I live in a very conservative area and I thought we were going to have a riot.

 

[TheFinalFantasyWolf]

In year 7 during sex education, one the teachers (this deranged and irritating teacher) took the time to explain to the young class how when she was 16 she decided to grab a mirror to watch and navigate into her privates and start masturbating. She then encouraged the rest of the class to "go home and try it". -_-

 

[KillKill]

I just had the weird image of someone trying to scratch an itch on their back and their friend just starts gnawing where they're itching. With added "Nomnomnomnomnom" sound effect. That person would be my friend for life!

I have a friend that does this regardless of whether or not there is an itch...

OT: My A Level Physics teacher told our class that when at uni he and his friends would always shout "For Gondor!" after sex...

 

[Uncle Comrade]

I had a teacher go off on a tangent about why Star Sex: The Search for Sperm was his favourite pornographic parody film, mostly due to the 'clever' puns.
"It was very clever, because instead of Uhura, they had U-whore-a. And Captain Kirk was Captain Cock. No, really boys, it was really good."
Meanwhile the whole class just sat there staring at him like... well, like he'd just broken off from teaching to tell us about his favourite porn.

There was also one time we were discussing Bond fims, and he did an impression of Sean Connery saying "Miss Funnyfanny", adding "Because you would, wouldn't you? If you had a teacher called Miss Moneypenny, you'd call her Miss Funnyfanny, wouldn't you? You would!" Again, a lot of staring from the class.

He'd also gone to university with another teacher at the school, and used to act out his (highly dubious) stories of the adventures they had together. These always involved his putting on an extremely over the top Welsh accent for the other teacher's lines, and most of the stories would end with the two of them having a fight. (which naturally our teacher always won)

He was a very strange man.

 

[FalloutJack]

It was part of one of my psychology professor's teaching cirriculum to fortify our lectures with little anecdotes to associate mentally with what she'd been telling us, creating pneumonic devices in our brains. Ergo, I know things like how she was the regular psych for one troupe of Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey Circus. Even funnier, I learned that the NEXT psychology professor I ever had was one of HER teachers previously!

 

[KefkaCultist]

Back in high school, my physics teacher was an ex-SEAL and told our class a story about a mission where he and his partner were doing some electrical rewiring and something went wrong. His partner had a massive surge of electricity go through him, blowing up his heart and exploding through his arm.

The teacher also shared with us that he lost a testicle somehow (I don't remember that story).

EDIT: Got another one. My senior year history teacher let us watch Star Wars Episode III at the end of the semester since we had nothing else going on. At a random point in the movie he blurts out that Ewan McGregor is a sexy man that he'd sleep with (the teacher was straight and married). Being openly gay I agreed with him and had a discussion about the sexiness of Ewen McGregor. lol

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

A couple of weeks before we finished up Sixth Form, one of my English Language teachers asked me what I did over the weekend, and I told him I went to this big rave event thing, it turned out he was there too. He was one of those guys in their late 20's that was a pretty lazy, so it wasn't the biggest shock ever, but it was pretty weird. By rave I mean a proper rave, with lasers and most people popping pills and things, it wasn't the sort of thing you would expect one of your teachers to be at.