The stupidest way you have hurt yourself.
- Thread starter implodingMan
- Start date
When I was young my dad bought me this basketball while I was in a shopping centre. Like any kid that has ever held a ball at any time I bounced it. It hit my foot and rolled away from me, and was headed for an escalator. I slid across the floor and put my hand on top of it, just a few centimetres away from said escalator. Unfortunately it was to close and my hand got caught between the ball and the moving hand-rail that sucked in more of my arm by the second. about ten people just stopped and looked before someone actually pressed the emergency stop. Then as I was wailing in pain, the same person bout a steak knife from a shop and stabbed the ball, while everyone else just stood there with their mouth open. I swear he was the only smart person there that day, I know I wasn't. Not really any scars but I broke all the bones in three of my fingers.
Tossing a bottle into the air and running over to catch it, not realizing I was heading strait for a chair...
Lucily for me I have a tendancy not to do stupid things. I have, though, ventured into the land of the dumb. For example...
Me and my friend Fatman were being hopless social rejects (It's a tough job but someone's gotta do it) by playing Super Smash Brothers Melee, the latest installment in the Smash Bros. series (this happend a week before brawl came out). Fatman brought up the question, "If Link has a sword and Mario doesn't, then how is it that Mario isn't dead?" My answer for this was that Mario could block the sword with his bare hands. I then proceeded to demostrate this by having Fatman swing the biggest sword he had, something reminicent of Conan the Barbarian, at me while I blocked it with my bare hands. It worked pretty well for a few seconds until my hand got cut open. I guess I should have been wearing gloves. It wasn't a bad cut, though, so no harm done.
Apologies if that really doesn't count.
Me and my friend Fatman were being hopless social rejects (It's a tough job but someone's gotta do it) by playing Super Smash Brothers Melee, the latest installment in the Smash Bros. series (this happend a week before brawl came out). Fatman brought up the question, "If Link has a sword and Mario doesn't, then how is it that Mario isn't dead?" My answer for this was that Mario could block the sword with his bare hands. I then proceeded to demostrate this by having Fatman swing the biggest sword he had, something reminicent of Conan the Barbarian, at me while I blocked it with my bare hands. It worked pretty well for a few seconds until my hand got cut open. I guess I should have been wearing gloves. It wasn't a bad cut, though, so no harm done.
Apologies if that really doesn't count.
lets see.
well one time when i went to our high schools varsity league championship game and I was messing with some fellow football buddies. well,one of them went up and put a choke hold on me and hes like some insane fighter, i blacked and passed out in like 10 seconds. i remember waking up in what seemed like forever just staring up at the night sky and i forgot where i was and everything. funny thing is i was in line for for some hot cocoa and not 1 damn person said a word. that said i sprained my right ankle and tore a tendon.... and the car was parked so far away >.<
well one time when i went to our high schools varsity league championship game and I was messing with some fellow football buddies. well,one of them went up and put a choke hold on me and hes like some insane fighter, i blacked and passed out in like 10 seconds. i remember waking up in what seemed like forever just staring up at the night sky and i forgot where i was and everything. funny thing is i was in line for for some hot cocoa and not 1 damn person said a word. that said i sprained my right ankle and tore a tendon.... and the car was parked so far away >.<
Biking down a near vertical hill thats 30 feet tall, I was alright untill I hit the end, I swear that tree came out of nowhere directly at the bottom. Watching my cousin fail it aswell was equally satisfying.
My freinds were pushing me around a parking lot in winter one year, when all of a sudden i get slammed into a curb and go hurtling into the pavement tearing up the back of my left hand, we went to dairy queen where i cleaned my wound in the unclean bathroom then headed back to my place. I still got a scar 
.
.
Laying a plank of wood over a giant rock to create a makeshift see-saw, with the intent of catapulting various objects onto the neighbours roof. laying something on the "see-saw" and stomping on the other end, not noticing the rather large, rusty nail sticking out of the wood.
Plank of wood flies up, nail hits me right under my eyeball, going into the socket.
Yeah, that sucked, I was less than 1mm away from losing sight in my right eye, but I still have a funky scar so it's all good!
No, actually, it really sucked..
Plank of wood flies up, nail hits me right under my eyeball, going into the socket.
Yeah, that sucked, I was less than 1mm away from losing sight in my right eye, but I still have a funky scar so it's all good!
No, actually, it really sucked..
There was a rope swing that lay over a creek. I stray branch socked me in the eye mid-swing, causing me to fall into the creek bellow...onto some glass...
my little brother's Tamagotchi died and kept on making that death/crying noise driving me insane all night. i eventually got sick of it and began throwing it across the room and into walls attempting to break it.
when that didn't work i tried to remove the batteries but i didn't have a screwdriver small enough so i tried to use a pair of safety scissors. safety my ass, the tip slipped off the screw and sliced through my art callous almost filleting it off... there i was all alone bleeding profusely into a sink with nothing but the digital death moans of a Tamagotchi to fuel my growing impotent rage.
when that didn't work i tried to remove the batteries but i didn't have a screwdriver small enough so i tried to use a pair of safety scissors. safety my ass, the tip slipped off the screw and sliced through my art callous almost filleting it off... there i was all alone bleeding profusely into a sink with nothing but the digital death moans of a Tamagotchi to fuel my growing impotent rage.
I sprained my back because at my old house, I used to jump down the stairs. Same house, I had hit a growth spurt. Long story short, I hit my head on the plaster overhang (leaving a forehead-shaped dent), and fell six feet, landing on the corner of a step. Carpeting did not pad it much.
was talking to a friend walking home *wak* walked straight into a telephone post thing
i felt so stupid
i felt so stupid
This isn't really on topic but I think it's funny enough.
You know the rule about blowing birthday candles out in one breath, well I've never been able too. I don't know why, I've got strong lungs but anyway. Instead of trying the traditional method once again on my 18th I just took a deep breath and pinched the candles out with my fingers.
Yeah, not a good idea considering that we didn't use those number shaped candles. Luckily the worst part was the coat of wax my thumb and pointer got.
You know the rule about blowing birthday candles out in one breath, well I've never been able too. I don't know why, I've got strong lungs but anyway. Instead of trying the traditional method once again on my 18th I just took a deep breath and pinched the candles out with my fingers.
Yeah, not a good idea considering that we didn't use those number shaped candles. Luckily the worst part was the coat of wax my thumb and pointer got.
At 2 A.M in the morning, I hear the phone ring. I slowly get up in the dark and try walking to it. As it continues ringing I decide to run get it, thinking to myself it it's at 2A.M...it's gotta be important? No? I keep on running. I then stumble into my fireplace and step on a few (still burning) ashes. (I had decided to stay up late and watch some,actually one, movies, hence the burning ashes.)I run to the kitchen while hopping on one foot. I grab a cup which has some sort of liquid in it. I was hoping for it to be a glass of water.....it wasn't. A few seconds later I found myself with some feet full of hot cofee and ashes. As I'm on the floor in pain. I hear the message machine answering:
"Nevermind, it's not important." and then my friend hangs up.
"Nevermind, it's not important." and then my friend hangs up.
Heh, a few things come to mind:
When I was a little kid, I tried to open the door while standing on a wobbly chair. Door opened, chair fell, I fell on our dog, dog bit me in the face. I still have two little bite marks...
I once cut the cord of a lamp, still in the socket. Bam. You'd think I'd learn something from that. I didn't. A few years later I tied some copper thread around a piece of wood, and into the socket. Guess how that ended.
I barely ever go skating, and our P.E. teacher thought it was a good idea to go roller-skating. I rolled for about one meter, and fell on my backside. It hurt so much, I had to laugh. Yeah, call me weird.
This one happened to a friend of mine: He broke his little toe because of a very dangerous game. Monopoly. He was walking down the hall, hit the box, which stuck a bit out from the shelf, and SNAP! He never trusted the game anyway, he always lost...
My school used to have 'Workshop Wednesdays', when the workshop was opened till 10 o'clock or something. they stopped that after some people started coming there drunk. One was working at an electrical saw, and suddenly walked to a teacher. "Sir, I think I cut my finger." "Cut your finger?! You've almost sawn your thumb off!" No, really, he almost did.
When I was a little kid, I tried to open the door while standing on a wobbly chair. Door opened, chair fell, I fell on our dog, dog bit me in the face. I still have two little bite marks...
I once cut the cord of a lamp, still in the socket. Bam. You'd think I'd learn something from that. I didn't. A few years later I tied some copper thread around a piece of wood, and into the socket. Guess how that ended.
I barely ever go skating, and our P.E. teacher thought it was a good idea to go roller-skating. I rolled for about one meter, and fell on my backside. It hurt so much, I had to laugh. Yeah, call me weird.
This one happened to a friend of mine: He broke his little toe because of a very dangerous game. Monopoly. He was walking down the hall, hit the box, which stuck a bit out from the shelf, and SNAP! He never trusted the game anyway, he always lost...
My school used to have 'Workshop Wednesdays', when the workshop was opened till 10 o'clock or something. they stopped that after some people started coming there drunk. One was working at an electrical saw, and suddenly walked to a teacher. "Sir, I think I cut my finger." "Cut your finger?! You've almost sawn your thumb off!" No, really, he almost did.
When I was 3, I was in a hospital, visiting a sick relative and was running around the bed and tripped, wedging an IV needle firmly in my eyeball. Sucked!