The stupidest way you have hurt yourself.

[TheKbob]

Recent:

I learned that you shouldn't check the temperature of your north bridge on your mobo with the PC on... not only is it hot, but your thumb isn't good braking material for you CPU fan. Still have a bit of a dimple on my thumb.

Past:

I liked to roller blade my paper route as a child. Now usually when I fell, it was on my ass and I had 10~50lbs of papers determining when and where to cushion. It only took one time for me to be going forward to have the same life saving papers to cause extra momentum to pull me down. I scraped the entirety of my nose up, bleeding. Luckily it was during the summer. My Dad called me "Rudolph the Red Nosed Paperboy" for about a year. Thanks Dad.

Child:

I liked to jump off stairs. This evolved into riding my tricycle off the stairs and falling onto wooden toy blocks.

Never let your child try to turn on a treadmill. I got zipped off, stuck between the wall and it and got a nice gash in my hand and a big tread burn on my lower back.

Wise Tip:

If you use Exacto knives, slip a bit of electrical tape around them in a tab so they cannot roll. If not, you have a tendency to become very wide-eyed seeing about an inch of blade holding the knife straight vertical out of your leg.

Ow.

 

[ZacOfTheZombies]

Pressure washer to the foot. Took off all but one layer of skin.

 

[mshcherbatskaya]

I hit myself in the forehead with my motorcycle helmet hard enough to raise a lump for several days. Given that I did this while in the process of putting on the helmet for the purpose of protecting my head, not only is this the dumbest way I have hurt myself, it is the most ironic.

 

[Nikita89]

I hit a pile of rocks with my fist. Hard. Two times. And I couldn't flex my fingers for one week afterwards -.-!

Ok, so maybe I was a little bit drunk while doing it x))

 

[gamergal]

ouch thats painfull dude but i can beat it .

when i was 4 i was bouncing on my parents bed with my older sister and she decided it would be funny to push me of mid bounce i went flying through the air but wait here comes the painfull part i turned my body mid bounce and ended up facing the radiator as i fell smashing my nose face first into it the radiator it sheared most of the skin from my nose and shattered the bone commpletly 7 stiches and i still have a prominant scar 14 years later

 

[gamergal]

the winner right here

 

[Higurashi]

Hm... so hard to single out one event...

The dumbest injuries and most of my scars have naturally inflicted me during all the fighting I've done, but that's not really funny, is it?
Maybe the time I bashed my head into a tree. Took off a good chunk of wood. Lord, was I angry. Got another concussion from that, and passed out after wobbling around a bit. Laid there in the moss for a couple of hours. When I came to, it had gotten dark. x)
'Twas pretty hilarious. xD

Another one was when I ran past an old stove we had at the time. Stupidly, I got stuck with my thumb under the large cast iron piece and almost tore it clean off. It dangled by the skin, and yeah, still got the scar. Similarly, I once fell and hit my head on a desk corner. Right on the temple. Still got a triangle shaped deep mark there. x) Now that's actually pretty cute.

 

[FrankDux]

I stapled through a paper and into my palm one time. So I had a paper stuck to my hand and a staple in my palm.

 

[fat american]

When I was 3 I was rocking back and forth in a chair and my bastard child of a friend (I hate him and poisoined his hamster for revenge) pushed down on the chair, causing me to scream, which made me put my tongue out and bite down, hard.
Fun Fact: Tongues never heal from scarring and now mine sticks out less than an inch due to growin problems from the scar.

I'm a severely accident prone person. However, my accidents are almost never minor and I've lost a lot of blood in my life time.

Second story is I'm jumping on my fairly small trampoline that can fit only two people. When those two people decide it would be a good idea to spike each other, it turns out badly almost every time. I had a tiny half a centimeter in diameter hole in the back of my head.

Fun Fact:due to the small space in the area between your skull and your skin, the smallest hole bleeds profusely. I had blood all over both my hands, blood going from the collar of my shirt about a foot down to my chest, (we saved the shirt)but non down the back of me which is where the hole was. It took them two staples to seal that small bastard up.

When I was 7 I fell out of a tree from pretty damn close to the top. I hit a few branches which gave me a bruised gut. When I landed I landed on my ass with a twig scraping my back so it was extremely uncomfortable to get off from the stump that my rump (yay phonics!) landed on. However, I didn't learn my lesson and got stuck in the tree again. This time I was rescued however.

It always seems to be me that gets hurt and not my friends doing the exact same dangerous activities as me.

Earlier this year (I told you I was accident prone) I fell out of a bush. You heard me BUSH. It was a large bush that was easier to get into than out of. I climbed up into the bush and I am very tall so trying to get out of the bush was a lot scarier than it looked. My feet were maybe three feet from the ground but my head was 8 (I was crouched in the bush). I try to climb out of the bush and get in an awkward position. I grab for a branch that can't support my weight and it was the most epic two foot fall you won't ever see. On the way down I bounced off the trunk thingy next to me, hitting my head on the trunk thingy, I commenced to fall and hit my head on the concrete base of the house. I somehow twisted my ankle and got a minor concussion.

The bark on the tree cut me pretty bad and left a scar that, for a little while, looked like I cut myself. I even got called into the counseler's office. The pink that showed where the cuts were have faded and now the brown that surrounded them has taken over, making my scar look more like a birth mark.

Edit:OOH remembered another one! I was running for my bus through some gravel on the playground when my leg landed in a small pit in the gravel awkwardly. I couldn't see the femir part of my leg but I could see below the knee and my foot. You want to know pain. That can be worse than breaking a bone. I thought it was broken, but as my brain produced Endorphines like it was going out of style, I realized it wasn't broken. Went to school the next day. It sucked because the muscles were weak so I kept doing it to a slightly smaller extent. It was at the end of school too so I didn't get home 'till I was about two hours late.

 

[ExplodingSims]

Well, I was at my friends house, and I thought he asked me to go get his cat, so I ran after it down a sidewalk. Well, his dad hadn't untied the trees from hurricane season, so I got a rope to the neck, did a flip over the rope, and somehow landed in the grass. KO'd myself, but that's about all.

 

[Mikav]

Waking up really quickly (not even from a nightmare) at 3:00 in the morning, and bashing my head on my desk.

I thought it would just bruise, so I tried to go back to sleep, but suddenly, it felt very warm. I went to the bathroom, turned on the light, looked at the mirror, and it was gushing blood. (Right above my eye)

I told my mom, and before she even looked at it she went to brush her teeth... ;/ Then we went to the hospital.


Fun fact: Medicare in Canada's free, and at 3:00 in the morning, there where no lines. Ahahaha. It was the best injury ever.


Not me... But some jackass in my metalwork put his hand in front of a welding torch. That was on. And he was holding it... Haha, his finger pretty much exploded. Fun time for all.

 

[werepossum]

I hit myself in the forehead with my motorcycle helmet hard enough to raise a lump for several days. Given that I did this while in the process of putting on the helmet for the purpose of protecting my head, not only is this the dumbest way I have hurt myself, it is the most ironic.

Laughing my ass off! You need the Gary Busey helmet protector!

Buddy of mine is a little guy and retired, but rides a huge 1,000cc BMW (very tall.) He can't quite pick it up most days. When he first had it, he was coming to a stop at a red light when he noticed a cop coming up behind him. Nervous, he came to a complete stop but neglected to put his foot down, so he toppled over just like the tricycle guy on Laugh-in. He banged up his shoulder pretty good since he hadn't taken his hands off the grips either. As the cop got out of the car to check on him he jumped up and with adrenaline pumping righted the bike, but he was too energetic and tipped it over the other way. Since it's quite tall and fairly heavy and my buddy is neither, he went with it. The bike pulled him over until the crankcase caught his shins, sweeping his legs out from under him, and he did a flip over the bike and landed hard on his back. At this point the cop was laughing so hard he had to stop to catch his breath, so my buddy scrambled back up, caught his breath, and tried to right the bike again. Unfortunately after taking two hard falls he didn't have the strength to do it. The cop eventually had to help him, and he was laughing so hard his face was covered with tears (as were our faces as he told us the story.)

 

[The_Chief]

i got 6 (the 7th one doesnt count as an injury)

1. when i was about 9 me and a couple of friends were hangin around one of those play sets in the park,one of my friends jumps off,then another, then another,then i was supposed to go i did it reluctantly but was retarded and stomped the ground i broke my ankle in 3 places, but heres the best part i didnt no it was broken until that night at about 9 when my mom took me to the emergency room to get it x rayed

2. this one happened more recent, i was at basket ball practice early in the season maybe 5 games in, anyway we were gunna start back pedaling so when it was my like turn to go (we were lined up in 4 lines of 4 i think) i went with almost all the large forwards on the team (cuz i am 1) and this one huge kid wasnt goin faster then like maybe 1 mile and hr backwards i was going fine but one kid yelled and told him to "GO FASTER" i thought it was directed at me and i went faster he kept shouting it and i kept goin faster but i triped on my own stupidity and tripped instictively put my arm out to break the fall but im big and 1 arm wasnt enought and broke me upper forearm in half, had to have surgery and pins put in, not fun.

3. this one happened like 2 weeks ago, me and my friends were hanging by the computer, i was f'in around wit a stapler like coil spring thing the thing on the inside anyway i pulled on it and it snapped sending it into my finger it like coiled like 3 times and i was stupid and tried to just pull it out like an idiot then 2 minutes after i finally realized oooo i should un coil it, so i finally git it out now got 3 scars in my finger, but very small

4. There is this giant steep road near my house so one day when i was about 8 i took my bike to the top and as i was comming down wanted to break in front of my house, now as i was about to break i didnt see a chip in the side walk so i hit the chip the same time i hit the breaks and flipped thankfully the bike flipped over me but i landed square on my chest and since it was still steep i slid my shirt went up and cut my stomach up nice

5. this happened to a friend of mine, one day we were playin wall ball with a pinky ball and this really strong kid threw it as hard as he could and on the ricashey it hit my friend square in the nuts, he hit the ground and screamed so loud it like broke my ear drum he couldnt get up for like 5 minutes we were all laughing to hard i almost pee'd my self

6. this one i caused, my school has a flag football league and i only got a team of scrubs together anyway our first game we were gettin crushed, thats when this wannabe tough kid who picks on my friends JT got cocky and started jumpin over the 2 other people, when he got to me he jumped up but i grabbed his ankles and slammed him to the ground as hard as i could it was so hilarious
7.http://www.youtube.com/user/ummidk3 not bad injurys but stupid shit watch um all and comment

 

[Epicurus]

I once jumped backwards onto my bed with my hands behind my back and broke both of my thumbs. That wasn't fun, and I couldn't game for weeks.

 

[StatikShock]

Hrmm, I could go into the myriad of injuries received from foam sword fighting (LARPing, Boffer fighting, whatever you want to call it), including gouges, scrapes, getting a sword core to limbs/face, etc. However, one of the dumber ones was done, not while fighting, but at an event. Dagorhir (one of the two foam fighting games I play) has a national event in Ohio, week long, fighting all week, party every night, good times. Anyway, the first night, before fighting even started, we were drinking very heavily, and I get up to use the bathroom... in the bushes, well this is all fine and good, but we had set up a large tarp as a "roof" for our camp, held to the ground by very large, and very metal stakes, of which no one had padded the ends of yet. Well I do my business, and turn around to walk back to the gathering, I hit my left leg, making a small, slightly annoying cut/scrape. Just after saying "fuck!" I hit my right leg on the SAME STAKE, taking out a very large, very deep chunk out of my leg (about 3/4in wide, 1/4in deep, and about 2.5-3in long. Both of my legs have scars now (and the right leg isn't quite done healing yet).

I also had the experience when I was 10 or so, building a plastic model, and using a dull exacto-knife, needless to say, the knife slipped in my hand, and sliced my thumb down the bone. It didn't really hurt at the time, due to me being slightly more preoccupied with OMG MY THUMB IS SQUIRTING BLOOD. Oh yeah, and my mom wasn't home at the time, she did get back home a few minutes later, but OMG MY THUMB IS SQUIRTING BLOOD EVERYWHERE. Surprisingly no scar though (probably due to how thin the cut was).

Airsoft (with no armor) can also make for some interesting injuries, none of mine are particularly notable though.

 

[sombod]

well... falling asleep ontop of a some pile of planks/somthingin a gym hall at a lan party.
after 40 hours of continous playing of cs 1.6

i woke up at the toilet, in the corner, with a headache from hell

my friends told me i had fallen down while sleeping, smacked my head on the floor( it was 1.5 meters down, and a hard floor) and then just gotten up and said ''i go to the toilet ''
oh yeah, that hurt


or the time i got a fracture in my wrist by attempting to kick sombody in the head when i was 13 :s

 

[Jonathan Hexley]

SO many scars.
But... Well one time I was leaving school, and I miscalculated how tall I was, so I got hit in the forehead by a BIG. GREEN. METAL. GATE.

 

[S.T.U.D.]

Hid under a low rider.

I should be dead.

 

[odisious15]

I was thrown from an upside down picnic table being dragged behind a 4 wheeler doing about 45mph. in a field with about 5 inches of snow on the ground; All would have been fine and dandy had it not been for a garage that was in my path. I skipped like a stone on water into that garage and dislocated my shoulder and received a ton of bruises, but my friend and I were to busy laughing to care; at least I wore a helmet.

 

[Perwer]

I had my hand laid down on the table and spread my fingers, then I used a knife to stab between the fingers ( you know what I'm talking about. Like Bishop in "Alien 2" or Moss in "The IT crowd" ). I was going pretty fast and i was stabbing hard. Suddenly MSN with that annoying sound lets me know I've received a message. So I reach for the mouse with the hand on the table but I'm stopped halfway there by the knife burrowing 5cm:s into my forearm.

Now the best part is when i go down to the gas station in the middle of the night with blood all over my arm and throws a packet of small plasters on the counter and go : "And I'll have a packet of John Silver to". Only after I had left the store did i realize how funny that must have been for the guy behind the counter.