The Sydney Funnel Web: Unfair

[Jinx_Dragon]

Showing our creative nature in naming things, the tree is just called 'stinging tree.' Dendrocnide moroides appears to be it's Latin name though, so that should help find it. Thing can even kill people and in cases the pain from touching it can last months.

The best part about getting kids to touch it is the needle like hairs are hollow. So when you go to wash the hairs away you don't dislodge the hair at all, but the water flushes down onto nerves already reacting to the poison... yay! Sorry, kids are bastards and we where no different.

A curiosity though, seems native animals have no problem with the hairs or the poison. this shows it was it was designed just to hurt us newcomers, humans!

Added: The more I think on it... the more I realise this country I love so much is trying to kill me!

 

[Galletea]

We don't really have anything particularly deadly or even dangerous here in the UK, which is almost a shame, too cold and damp for them I guess. A badger might give you a nasty nip though, those things are rather grumpy.

 

[Newtilator]

Yeah. Id never go to Australia.
Someone i know told me when she lived there, she checked her clothes every day, and no one she knew was pwnzorzed by wildlife. She said it seemed normal when she was there.
Then again, Australia has Wombats. That makes it equal. Seriously, Wombats are the king of the bush. None can stand against them. NONE.
Btw, if you're at the beach, do you know about the box jellyfish? Its the most poisonous animal in the entire world. You can drown because the pain is so bad you forget to swim. thats Sea wasp for you. And I thought my little sting from the Mediterranean was bad.
I'm kind of proud of the English Great crested Newt. One of our only awesome herptiles. On a related note, i think British house spiders are big enough to give me a nervous fit.

 

[Labyrinth]

*Snip*

To be perfectly honest, I found that spider cute. It's the round eyes.

 

[Cowabungaa]

And even through all that, I still want to go to Australia. Balls of steel baby, balls of steel.

 

[Labyrinth]

And even through all that, I still want to go to Australia. Balls of steel baby, balls of steel.

Now now, I live here. In the Sydney area. And I've had SFWs in my pool.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

*Snip*

To be perfectly honest, I found that spider cute. It's the round eyes.

Yeah. There's something strange about the human psyche, that we always tend to correlate big, round, wet eyes and nervous snouts to be "cute"... Especially since the fact that polar bears has these traits and do look adorable playing in the snow, but if you get too close to one, their cute white fur will be smeared with your own blood in a manner of seconds.

As for the spider, just imagine being the bee. : )

Sure it might look cute now, but when you have a big, hairy, eight-legged monster with those eyes callously staring at you as it munches on your paralyzed body, then you might not find them so cute anymore. XD

But still, it is nature's ninja and deserves some respect.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

And even through all that, I still want to go to Australia. Balls of steel baby, balls of steel.

Yeah, me too actually. Though not because I want to visit Sydney. I'd just go out to the wild areas and see how long I can live of the land.

The dangerous animals and vegetation just makes it all more exciting.

The only real objections to it is the fact that it would cost me the financial debt of liberia just to buy the ticket, and the fact that it tends to be quite hot over there.

Deadly spiders, snakes an crocodiles I can handle, but steep prizes and hot temperatures just doesn't turn me on that much. (which is why im extremely happy that im going to russia with my grandfather during this december. Imagine how cold russia gets at that time of the year!)

 

[Cowabungaa]

Now now, I live here. In the Sydney area. And I've had SFWs in my pool.

Gladly I want to go a bit more up north, Brisbane to be precise. I still want to visit Sydney though, all the big cities, but I'd like to actually live in Brisbane.

Yeah, me too actually. Though not because I want to visit Sydney. I'd just go out to the wild areas and see how long I can live of the land.

The dangerous animals and vegetation just makes it all more exciting.

I may have balls of steel, but you have balls of titanium.

 

[The_Healer]

He he he...

Your article causes me much amusement.

May I add that the "SFW" has no effect on dogs and as a result my dog carried one in one day on a blanket... BAD DOG! We caught it but meh...

Also, my mum trod on a brown snake while she and my dad were out bushwalking before I was even thought of. They were also 6 hours from help. It just decided not to be an asshole.

 

[headshotcatcher]

If I can try to prompt some discussion from you fine folks, is there any animal you are particularly proud of from your country? Have you ever encountered said animal or one of the ones I mentioned? (for the fellow aussies).

Have I made you interested in visiting the Australian Reptile Park?

The thing I'm proud of is that the biggest spiders in Holland are those long legged tiny ones

Spoiler: Keep in mind its abdomen is like the size of a zit

AHH, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO INCLUDE A PICTURE??

Seriously, I couldn't get through the rest of the article because of it. Damn arachnophobia...

Spoiler: Not scary, I swear. You'll go WTF and then laugh

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

I may have balls of steel, but you have balls of titanium.

"Balls of titanium" to some, "deathwish" to others I guess. : )

Although I should tell you that my real "dream resort" isn't really australia. The problem with australia is that while it might have wildlife gone berserk, the people are still relatively law abiding folk.

If I ever get enough cash, I'd go to some war-ravaged african country for tourism. In those countries you have to compete with the most dangerous animal of all: Man, armed with AK47:s.

If I could survive at least a month under those conditions, then I would be content with my life.

 

[Sark]

When I was around 10, myself and a friend were swimming in my pool, all was well. It didn't take long for me to notice movement at the bottom of the pool and soon it was evacuated. Using the pool cleaning thingo I managed to gather up the moving thing, as well as bundle of leaves.
As soon as the stick came out of the water, the bundle went beserk. It was around 5 Funnel Webs. I got the fuck out.

 

[Pandalisk]

Ah Australia, Visted it twice, the wildlife tried to kill me several times, i managed to get out of there with a broken nose, i consider myself lucky, long ago i realised that the Aussie Wildlife doesnt fucking want me there.

I live in Ireland, you know what is the most dangerous creature here?

That Right! The basterds who live on Grafton street!, nawwww i mean People.

 

[TankCopter]

Ah, I love the Kimberley. We have none of your wussy little black things. BUT WE HAVE EVRYTHING ELSE THAT IS NASTY IN THIS COUNTRY. We have crocs of both varieties, redback spiders, huntsmen that should have fucking health bars, sharks in the rivers, mudcrabs which could tear your fingers off, millions of mosquitos (Angry little fuckers they are too), king browns (poisonous snake), pythons (squeezy snakes), western brown snakes (more poisonous snakes), death adders (Oh look, another POISONOUS SNAKE), the odd taipan (ANGRY poisonous snake), catfish that will spear you like the little bastards they are, dingoes, scorpions (the tiny little ones that will still fuck you up), hell, even the COWS here will fuck you up. They attack cars. What's more, now we have CANE TOADS.

Oh, and 35 degrees is 'warm'. To us, 'hot' is 40-45. These levels of heat are almost always accompanied by 85-90% humidity. You Sydneysiders are wusses, and we all laugehd when Melbourne's roads were melting at 38. We LAUGHED at you city people and your inability to withstand s bit of warmth.

 

[DoW Lowen]

I live in Sydney. Thanks a lot. God damn it.

Awesome thread though.

 

[lenin_117]

Is this a repost? Somebody already posted this ages ago...

 

[shannon.archer]

-snip-

Yes I'm evil.

I would blowtorch those fuckers

 

[ThreeKneeNick]

Lol i thought this was a thread about the Australian internet

 

[Octorok]

I live in the UK, over continents, stormy oceans and distances untraveled by nature.

I do not live far enough from Australia. In fact, I cannot ever live far enough from Australia. I bet these bastards would find me, crawling in space.

I'm never wearing shoes, or clothes, ever again. I'm living in a large white room, with no doors or windows, with no clothes and canisters of air, bottles of water and a small glass tank to grow carrots in. See them get me there!