The Sydney Funnel Web: Unfair

[konkwastaken]

i'm always finding red backs, white tails and huntsmen, found a huntsmen bigger than my whole hand it was on my parents bedroom window so i stood on the other side and put my hand behind it, they're pretty harmless their bites hurt but nothing to cry about.

Spoiler: Some Clarifications

The SFW has a strike range of literally 0. It's fangs are so large it can only kill things directly below its mouth, and can't move when in a striking position (see above). It can't run fast or leap at you, and if you check your shoes and don't be a dick you can survive an encounter with the little sucker (hand him into authorities to make anti-venom! Take that, SFW!)

Snakes are lazy bastards, and will not chase you. Except perhaps the Brown Snake, because it's a jerk.

Yeah, I just advertised for something. But it's based on an anecdotal good time and a genuine desire to help out the good folks at the ARP, so if you have a complaint i'm teachng Funnelwebs to jump and introducing them to your ecosystem. Whahahaha.

PS: I know exactly what Necrotic means. The bite from the SFW will bleed for so long even after it stops hurting that you may just wish it had killed you.

Only quoted so you would respond to this, i'm sat here wondering; why weren't the fearsome drop bears included in your first post?

 

[Ultrajoe]

Only quoted so you would respond to this, i'm sat here wondering; why weren't the fearsome drop bears included in your first post?

1) I have the quote notifier option turned off, whahaha (I get quoted enough to make it annoying)
2) The post was about the reptile park and the things I saw there (and trying to get people to attend), if anyone feels an animal has been unfairly left out then I encourage you to tell the world about it (be it from australia or not!)

 

[Labyrinth]

*Snip*

I don't mind wetas. I've met a few while tramping in NZ.

 

[Biek]

Yeah thats a pretty creepy spider, yup.

Anyway Ill just leave this here for the braver of you and be on my way then shall I?

Spoiler

[http://img31.imageshack.us/i/camelspiderflytying.jpg/]

I dislike you, What IS that??

Sun spider also known as the camel spider primaraly found in deserts.

Those things FOLLOW you. (not because their after you, but because they like standing in the shadow.)

 

[PyroZombie]

Yeah thats a pretty creepy spider, yup.

Anyway Ill just leave this here for the braver of you and be on my way then shall I?

Spoiler

[http://img31.imageshack.us/i/camelspiderflytying.jpg/]

I dislike you, What IS that??

Sun spider also known as the camel spider primaraly found in deserts.

Those things FOLLOW you. (not because their after you, but because they like standing in the shadow.)

That would be a great time to become invisable

 

[PyroZombie]

What the hell is it?

Australian bush cockroaches.

You mean that gigantic tank-beast that my friend keeps as a pet?

I knew they were freakish, but I haven't seen one fly before.

they dont so bad, they're just beetles, it's not like it can kill you, or poison you right?

 

[olicon]

I think most cockroaches in Asia take that form too. And yes, they can fly. They don't usually do, but they will pick the worst time possible for you when they do.

Ah, the legendary drop bear. Nah, they aren't worth the first page on this thread because they're just about as dangerous (and rare) as a jackalope. So no problem there.

 

[Same River New Water]

Tigers: endangered.
Lions: endangered.
Sharks: threatened.
Rhinos: endangered.
Spiders: FUCKING WINNING.

with the SFW, the record for surviving this Eight-Legged-Armaggedon is an Hour and sixteen minutes. The record.

The SFW of NSW: NSFW.

 

[Stevedave00]

Does'nt Australia have the spider that plays dead in folk's swimming pools?

 

[Ultrajoe]

Does'nt Australia have the spider that plays dead in folk's swimming pools?

That's our friend the Demonic SFW, it can survive for days underwater, to bite you when you try to save its life. That's right, it's also a frogman.

 

[HateDread]

Does'nt Australia have the spider that plays dead in folk's swimming pools?

That's our friend the Demonic SFW, it can survive for days underwater, to bite you when you try to save its life. That's right, it's also a frogman.

And it is currently walking across the sea floor, towards Europe, and North America. Enjoy.

 

[Stevedave00]

Does'nt Australia have the spider that plays dead in folk's swimming pools?

That's our friend the Demonic SFW, it can survive for days underwater, to bite you when you try to save its life. That's right, it's also a frogman.

And it is currently walking across the sea floor, towards Europe, and North America. Enjoy.

With some foster's at least?

 

[Ultrajoe]

With some foster's at least?

There is no Fosters in Australia, nobody here drinks it. That's why we sell it overseas, it's shit.

I kid you not.

 

[MelziGurl]

I live in South East Queensland, so I'm lucky enough not have come close to the SFW. We had alot of Red Backs years ago when my parents had their deck put up. Little bastards just wouldn't die. My partner and I had a huntsman that was no afraid of humans. I've had one on my shoulder, I was 11 and my classmates found it then sadistically killed it with a ruler. I've also put my foot into a shoe that was playing home to one. Felt this weird feeling at my toes and when I took it off it just jumped out at me. I've also stumbled across a baby King Brown which I did well to steer clear of. And a friend of a friend of mine was out roo shooting and got punched the next morning when he stuck his head out of his tent. I've also picked up a rock with a scorpion sitting on it...I was about 10 when I ran up to mum excited about this discovering only to find a shock horror expression on her face.

Yeah, that's about all the exciting run-in's I've had with nature thus far.

EDIT: Found the scorpion at Mt Kilkevan (if that's how it's spelt)

 

[HateDread]

With some foster's at least?

There is no Fosters in Australia, nobody here drinks it. That's why we sell it overseas, it's shit.

I kid you not.

It's too busy plotting to eat your face. It drinks alcohol directly from the pub-ee's blood. Yum.

 

[similar.squirrel]

Yeesh. Screw that. You've probably just cost the Australian tourism industry a tidy sum.

*hides*

 

[Ultrajoe]

Yeesh. Screw that. You've probably just cost the Australian tourism industry a tidy sum.

*hides*

They seek out fear. Eventually this thread will generate enough offshore terror as to drag them across the ocean and we shall see an Australian empire like none before.

 

[Sevre]

Great story,made me lol, I'm never going to Australia.

 

[similar.squirrel]

What had Cook unearthed?
Our very doom..

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

I'm moving to Antarctica, It might be cold enough to freeze...liquids before they leave your body but at least theres no spiders. I love this country, but the animals freak me the hell out. And I live in a technically rural area, we get loads of shit. I've seen 3 red bellied blacks, one I've actually held, almost touched a brown snake and actually had a funnel web on me (we had to move bricks, they got knocked over onto my leg, guess what fell out?) which was fucking terrifying. Not to mention the other thousand or so spiders that are in the area, and that bastard kangaroo who keeps eating our plants.

Good article by the way, I like how all articles on our animal life eventually come to the fact that every single damn thing wants to eat your face, probably after eating your god of choice.