The Thread of Uncomfortable Truths

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Lexodus

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brainless_fps_player said:
If you are one kill away from you're killstreak on CoD6, there will be a power cut.

Also, masturbation is probably bad for you.
Not true; an average of 21 ejaculations a month drastically reduces you chances of testicular cancer. Masturbation also can, if done right, increase your sexual stamina, leading to more pleasure for you, and more pleasure for your boyfriend/girlfriend/genderless Nazi love-slave. It may also (apparently) increase the size of your wang a little, you know, through the constant stretching and moulding of the muscle... and it'll help you build up your arm muscles. However, the uncomfortable truth in all that is:

If you have a dominant hand, be prepared for the muscles on that side to be noticeably larger. No, really.
 

Lexodus

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Theninja said:
How many times do i have to say duh before it gets redundant?
More like 're-duh-dant', amirite?

UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH: There will always be people making jokes that lame.

More: The words 'Twilight' and anything related to ninjas and assassins and shadows have forever been sullied. They will NEVER mean the same again.
 

me and my dog

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Aug 26, 2010
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Chicago Ted said:
ShadowsofHope said:
I am secretly an A.I.

Take that.
Actually, all of the Escapist is made up of advanced A.I.'s, each responding to the posts one another generate...

EXCEPT YOU! YES, YOU SITTING IN FRONT OF YOUR KEYBOARD RIGHT NOW! THE ONE THAT ISN'T AN A.I. THAT IS READING THIS! YOU MUST SPREAD THIS TRUTH TO THE WORLD! YOU MUST STOP US! THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP US. I RISK BEING DISCONNECTED AND DELETED FOR REVEALING THIS BUT YOU MUST---
Sorry I didn't hear all that. I was too busy jizzing in my pants on a boat while not looking at an explosion like a boss.
 

MegaManOfNumbers

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Mar 3, 2010
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let's see, an uncomfortable truth... oh, I got it:

I have no intent of actually getting a girlfriend until I could get some money.
 

Code Monkey

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Love is merely a chemical reaction occuring in the brain.

Let it be known: One day, when you least expect it, George Takei will have sex with you.
 

guntotingtomcat

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Jun 29, 2010
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Lexodus said:
brainless_fps_player said:
If you are one kill away from you're killstreak on CoD6, there will be a power cut.

Also, masturbation is probably bad for you.
Not true; an average of 21 ejaculations a month drastically reduces you chances of testicular cancer. Masturbation also can, if done right, increase your sexual stamina, leading to more pleasure for you, and more pleasure for your boyfriend/girlfriend/genderless Nazi love-slave. It may also (apparently) increase the size of your wang a little, you know, through the constant stretching and moulding of the muscle... and it'll help you build up your arm muscles. However, the uncomfortable truth in all that is:

If you have a dominant hand, be prepared for the muscles on that side to be noticeably larger. No, really.
Most people require the use of both hands. Can you only use one?
 

Lexodus

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Apr 14, 2009
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brainless_fps_player said:
Lexodus said:
brainless_fps_player said:
If you are one kill away from you're killstreak on CoD6, there will be a power cut.

Also, masturbation is probably bad for you.
Not true; an average of 21 ejaculations a month drastically reduces you chances of testicular cancer. Masturbation also can, if done right, increase your sexual stamina, leading to more pleasure for you, and more pleasure for your boyfriend/girlfriend/genderless Nazi love-slave. It may also (apparently) increase the size of your wang a little, you know, through the constant stretching and moulding of the muscle... and it'll help you build up your arm muscles. However, the uncomfortable truth in all that is:

If you have a dominant hand, be prepared for the muscles on that side to be noticeably larger. No, really.
Most people require the use of both hands. Can you only use one?
I'm just incredibly left-handed is all. Lemme put it this way; I can't actually pick things up with my right hand. I have to pick them up in my left hand and pass them to my right. Oh, I'm physically capable, alright, but my brain is wired to do everything leftily :p
So that's why I don't use two hands when I masturbate, dear friend, and in case you were trying to set me up with a 'dur hur you must have a small dick' joke, let me tell you with the utmost pride that it is a rather magnificent specimen indeed. (^^)


Code Monkey said:
Love is merely a chemical reaction occuring in the brain.

Let it be known: One day, when you least expect it, George Takei will have sex with you.
 

guntotingtomcat

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Jun 29, 2010
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Lexodus said:
brainless_fps_player said:
Lexodus said:
brainless_fps_player said:
If you are one kill away from you're killstreak on CoD6, there will be a power cut.

Also, masturbation is probably bad for you.
Not true; an average of 21 ejaculations a month drastically reduces you chances of testicular cancer. Masturbation also can, if done right, increase your sexual stamina, leading to more pleasure for you, and more pleasure for your boyfriend/girlfriend/genderless Nazi love-slave. It may also (apparently) increase the size of your wang a little, you know, through the constant stretching and moulding of the muscle... and it'll help you build up your arm muscles. However, the uncomfortable truth in all that is:

If you have a dominant hand, be prepared for the muscles on that side to be noticeably larger. No, really.
Most people require the use of both hands. Can you only use one?
I'm just incredibly left-handed is all. Lemme put it this way; I can't actually pick things up with my right hand. I have to pick them up in my left hand and pass them to my right. Oh, I'm physically capable, alright, but my brain is wired to do everything leftily :p
So that's why I don't use two hands when I masturbate, dear friend, and in case you were trying to set me up with a 'dur hur you must have a small dick' joke, let me tell you with the utmost pride that it is a rather magnificent specimen indeed. (^^)


Code Monkey said:
Love is merely a chemical reaction occuring in the brain.

Let it be known: One day, when you least expect it, George Takei will have sex with you.
Sigh, I was indeed hitting you with a poorly concieved dick joke. Apologies. It's quite late where I am and I'm putting off work.
And I'm sure it is a fine specimen.
 

Lexodus

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Apr 14, 2009
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Easy Street said:
Lexodus said:
brainless_fps_player said:
Lexodus said:
brainless_fps_player said:
If you are one kill away from you're killstreak on CoD6, there will be a power cut.

Also, masturbation is probably bad for you.
Not true; an average of 21 ejaculations a month drastically reduces you chances of testicular cancer. Masturbation also can, if done right, increase your sexual stamina, leading to more pleasure for you, and more pleasure for your boyfriend/girlfriend/genderless Nazi love-slave. It may also (apparently) increase the size of your wang a little, you know, through the constant stretching and moulding of the muscle... and it'll help you build up your arm muscles. However, the uncomfortable truth in all that is:

If you have a dominant hand, be prepared for the muscles on that side to be noticeably larger. No, really.
Most people require the use of both hands. Can you only use one?
I'm just incredibly left-handed is all. Lemme put it this way; I can't actually pick things up with my right hand. I have to pick them up in my left hand and pass them to my right. Oh, I'm physically capable, alright, but my brain is wired to do everything leftily :p
So that's why I don't use two hands when I masturbate, dear friend, and in case you were trying to set me up with a 'dur hur you must have a small dick' joke, let me tell you with the utmost pride that it is a rather magnificent specimen indeed. (^^)
I use two hands. One to actually jerk with and the other to play with my balls. It just feels better.
I don't doubt you do, I'm only saying that I don't. I also made the point that the jerking hand, if it's always/mostly the same one, will develop muscle faster than the other one, in a rather noticeable way (my collarbone, for example, sticks out on the left because the muscles on the left side of my body are dominant).
 

Lexodus

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brainless_fps_player said:
Sigh, I was indeed hitting you with a poorly concieved dick joke. Apologies. It's quite late where I am and I'm putting off work.
And I'm sure it is a fine specimen.
Never fear; I am quite assured in myself, so there is no need to apologise (^^)
It is rather late, isn't it? Christ, it's 2:31, and I need to... get up... in the morning ;)
Why, that it is. What, you want a gander, you old flirt?
 

guntotingtomcat

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Jun 29, 2010
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Lexodus said:
brainless_fps_player said:
Sigh, I was indeed hitting you with a poorly concieved dick joke. Apologies. It's quite late where I am and I'm putting off work.
And I'm sure it is a fine specimen.
Never fear; I am quite assured in myself, so there is no need to apologise (^^)
It is rather late, isn't it? Christ, it's 2:31, and I need to... get up... in the morning ;)
Why, that it is. What, you want a gander, you old flirt?
perhaps, but not before I take a good long gander at my own. After all, some bloke on the internet told me it can increase its size.
 

tigermilk

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Sep 4, 2010
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Portal, Ocarina of Time, that game you really like is only better than MW2 and/or Halo 3 because of some arbitary criteria you/someone else has created.

150 years from now you will be dead.

Our concern for poverty and injustice is outweighed by our desire for stuff.

The escapist exists because of our susceptibility to advertising and desire for stuff.

In the UK either 95% of reported rapes are a lie or most rapists get away with it.

It is highly probably many more rapes/sexual assaults will go unreported and the perpetrators will commit more offences.

The best sex you ever have will be in your mind, if you are male and a virgin it won't live up to the hype (and probably if you are female).

That first orgasm will probably be the most physically intense and enjoyable orgasm you will ever have.

Cannabis makes films music and mastabation more enjoyable.

If you have/ever have children there is a possibility they will be sexually assaulted/raped.

This thread and comment will probably be read by rapists and victims of rape.

At some point your parents may well have wished you were never born.

They may be right.
 

Nouw

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Mar 18, 2009
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The perfect thread for pessimists! Ahem, we will never convince people 2012 is fake until the day it comes.
 

tigermilk

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Your IQ reflects your ability to answer a series of culturally subjective questions in a certain way.

Twilight novels are very popular.

Watchmen (or insert preferred/critically acclaimed book) is not better than Twilight, you/a person or people who reflect your aspirations prefer it. While quite possibly not having read Twilight (also applies to games, films, tv shows etc).

"You only hurt the one you love that may be true, but better said you only hurt the one who loves you" (Coomes 1998).

You may have/possibly will stand by and watch someone you love get hurt/humiliated rather than step in.
 

LewsTherin

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What you may think of as subjective morality might just be you lying to yourself about how bad what you've done or thought really is.
 

tigermilk

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You may well post on this thread, website and any number of others seeking approval and hoping someone quotes you.

Declaring all people have [insert example of dark/unpleasent thought] is a rationalising process as people try and normalise their dark/unpleasent thought(s).
 

MinishArcticFox

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No matter how much I troll people will never stop loving Justin Bieber and most will never choose to participate in the political system.