jboking said:
This thread should indicate in numerous ways that that is NOT the way people view marriage. They do view it as a symbol of love between two people. Is that what you would prefer it be?
Or would your rather that there be no benefits. Clearly, they are evil and causing people to jump into marriage when they shouldn't, according to you.
The symbolic purpose behind it to begin with is what I was referring to, I don't particularly care for all the benefits it adds, it hasn't been of detrimental value to those who aren't married or been enough to stop plentiful couples getting a divorce, so that entire arguement is void. I don't see them as evil, you're exaggerating my point, I just don't see them as sufficient enough reasons for someone to jump into a marriage without properly considering the prospect of marriage before hand, taking that into account, how many people actually think about those potential benefits before they propose?
I don't think you understood the argument I was making. It's a matter of biological duty. Adopting is not matching your biological duty. Having a child is. However, if you want to understand why a marriage would be the best place to start in founding a family with a child you might want to read this:
http://www.helium.com/items/1211739-children-need-stability
I made sure to get a short one for you as you don't seem fond of reading for long periods.
I haven't get a problem with reading points of views, I just get bored of lists that stray off of the points I was looking for and the initial impression I got from the first post was that all the financial benefits etc were considered strongly, but the mutual relationship benefits such as bonding and connection were given a small miniscule mention. It doesn't make sense to call bullshit on the point regarding the state of emotions after marriage if you didn't make that clear in the original post, one only has to look at the bolded subtitles to get an idea of all the other benefits you covered with no relation to the core reason to get married as if to warrant some form of justification for getting married that those who aren't married are missing out on. That's why I said 'optimism' was lacking. As for the raising of a child, countless articles can be written all over the internet, but the facts are in the day to day observations, like I said, the entire concept of marriage was created by humans, but if it didn't exist, would you say family stability would collapse? I somehow doubt that, a child needs parents, GOOD parents at that, it doesn't matter whether they are married or not, that's completly besides the point. Whether you are married or not makes no difference to the fact you are a good or bad parent, which in simple terms justifies the reason why some single parents are more than capable of raising a child on thier own.
Ever herd of the idea of sharing your love for someone with the world? Ever loved someone so much you wanted to tell everyone? It's that basic idea. It's also an assertion of commitment, which you haven't addressed yet as an issue. Also, no one is trying to make you get married. Where did you get this idea? Do you feel happy for the seemingly happy couple that got married? Think they love each other very much to go through with all of that? Then marriages job is done. It's like setting your love in stone for everyone to see instead of just keeping it as something more abstract. It makes it feel more permanent and gives it a physical manifestation (a ring).
Like a friendship bracelet confirms your friends are your friends? Seriously? I'm all for the joy of celebrating your love for your lover even if I happen to be of the thinking that my business is my business, thats just different personalities talking, but are you saying it is impossible to celebrate your love for another without getting married? When you are girlfriend and boyfriend you were doing the exact same thing without a ring, the ring is just a showcase to prove your point, but I personally don't see it as any form of indication as to how much you love your partner, that is only demonstrated through the way you behave around and with them. What's the point wearing a ring and 'apparently showcasing how much you loved them to go through with the marriage' if you aren't doing all you can in your own private circumstance to ensure that love is prominent. When you think about it, despite how difficult marriage is made out to be, it's suprisingly an easy thing to jump into, people do it all the time and many of those same people jump back out just as easily.
And at no point did I say most people were getting married because of the potential benefits besides love, I said that its a reoccuring theme that society points out, whether that have something to do with government incentives, promotions and laws passed out in ones country or even personal family members and friends mentioning. Look how many times they've been mentioned in this thread alone. And while I don't deny that those benefits aren't additions to married life, they aren't make or break factors so they don't NEED to be mentioned unless as a sidenote. The core principle of marriage as you have said yourself is the feeling of attachment, if you were to convince me to get married, it would be THAT point you should elaborate upon.
