bdcjacko said:
CaptainMurasa said:
bdcjacko said:
CaptainMurasa said:
bdcjacko said:
Best feeling in the world knowing you have someone who will say she wants to be with you and only you forever. It is nice not wondering if you are going to grow old alone. It is emotional security that nothing else can really offer.
Sure, it must be an amazing feeling for the people that don't get divorced after a few months of wedded bliss.
Yeah...you shouldn't enter into marriage lightly, and probably shouldn't get married until you are old enough to see past the wedding day.
But it's not as though divorce only happens to younger people. Sure it's more prevalent in people around my age but plenty of older people get married and divorced as well. To me, marriage is uncertain because love itself is uncertain and it seems foolhardy to make such a life changing decision based on such a fleeting emotion. You may be able to look past the wedding day but you can't predict what you'll feel then.
Then perhaps you shouldn't get married. But do you take such a pessimistic view of everything? Why go to college when lot of people fail? Why get a job, I'll just be fired. Why do anything because I'll be over looked and it will amount to nothing.
But these things are things that rely on your efforts and your efforts only, you know the extent of your abilities so you know what you are capable of doing and you can push yourself to achieve these things, but in marriage, you don't know what your lover is capable of, flaws that may not be trivial, but in fact quite prominent, flaws that you may not notice as girlfriend and boyfriend due to the fact you are trying your best to impress. When married you no longer have to impress, you are more or less free to be yourself, making changes to fit the circumstances of the marriage, but what happens if you find out the person you married is unwilling to change the way they operate despite the fact they claimed to be commited to you, what if you are making all the effort and they aren't? How do you get past those hurdles, especially when it involves children, how do you deal with someone who is neglecting your kids or even hurting them or you? How do you deal with a cheating partner? How do you deal with less drastic issues, like them refusing to help you deal with household bills, or falling out with your family and refusing to make amends despite how much you want things to get better.
Yes, there is a degree of pessimism to this point, but you have to face it, it's truth, we as humans are inclined to think differently from each other and quite often we make decisions that are short term rather than long term, we make decisions because they make sense now, but come 5 years down the line, that decision loses its affirmity.
Even the 26 years my parents have had together has been challenging at the best of times, quite often to the point divorce was considered, nothing as big as cheating or abuse, but plain and simply because my dad is admittedly uncooperative, grumpy and rather unreasonable, as kids we've gotten used to it and find it amusing to tease him because of it, but to my mum, it can be a stress at times, 90% of the time we are one big happy family, laughing, joking, playing, the usual, but that odd 10% can leave my mum crying, simply because she would like my father to be a little more considerate towards her feelings.
There are some couples that are perfect and never encounter these issues, but that's rare, luckily, despite my dad's annoying habits, he would never cheat on my mum, he just doesn't have it in him nor would he ever lay a finger on her.
