The worst achievements of all time

[Soviet Heavy]

Neighbourhood watch in HL2 Ep2. Stop any buildings being destroyed during the strider assault. Impossible because:
1) You have to kill about 3 hunters before taking on the strider else they'll shoot off your magnusssons. Not to mention there are a fuckload of striders to take down, each with a herd of hunters. Sometimes you have to take on more than one... I think you do 3 at once in the final bit.
2) You have to keep going back to base to find magnussons as you can only carry one at a time for some ridiculous arbitrary reason (I mean he has already got a crowbar, the gravity gun, two handguns, a machine gun, a pulse rifle, a shotgun, a crossbow, an RPG, some grenades AND ammo for all those).
3) The way they scale the difficulty is such that if you do better it becomes harder exponentially. So you have to be exponentially better than any normal person playing the game. This means that even on easy difficulty it's fucking ridiculous.

Here's one that will make everyone scream in agony.

Little. Fucking. Rocket. Man.

 

[TPiddy]

Mass Effect 1's achievements actually boosted your character, which was nice. However, I'm questioning the person who had the idea to make the "Complete 80% of the game with this character" achievements. Tedium at its finest and the only thing forcing you to play the game over 3 times (doing ALL the side missions). It wouldn't be so bad if some of the planets weren't filled with so many mountains that you curse the planets' level designers, but there you have it.

I actually liked those achievements... made you mix it up and try everything. Like the weapon achievements in Gears of War. Makes you try all the guns. Those are good achievements. I hate that in ME 2 I can take the same characters for every mission outside of loyalty missions with no repercussions, because I have no incentive to try any of the other characters.

OT: Fable II had a collect all the dolls achievement. This worked as follows:

1. Each copy of the game came with one of 6 unique dolls. None of the other dolls would be in your game.

2. This required you to find and trade with at least 5 other online players.

3. Hardly anyone played Fable II in online co-op because the second you entered their game you became generic sidekick #189283, and none of your character's weapons or attributes carried over. You were basically a helper monkey.

 

[SeanthePsycho]

For starters, I do find it arbitrary to have a "Complete X portion of the game" achievement. And as for Eternal Sonata, the game sucked ass anyway so it doesn't matter...besides, what idiots give you 321 points for one achievement and 79 for the other.

But, from what I read in a magazine once, there is an achievement for some game that you have to beat it on hard mode without dying, or something like that, and it gives you only 1 point. That is a massive dick move.

 

[Et3rnalLegend64]

Mass Effect 1's achievements actually boosted your character, which was nice. However, I'm questioning the person who had the idea to make the "Complete 80% of the game with this character" achievements. Tedium at its finest and the only thing forcing you to play the game over 3 times (doing ALL the side missions). It wouldn't be so bad if some of the planets weren't filled with so many mountains that you curse the planets' level designers, but there you have it.

I actually liked those achievements... made you mix it up and try everything. Like the weapon achievements in Gears of War. Makes you try all the guns. Those are good achievements. I hate that in ME 2 I can take the same characters for every mission outside of loyalty missions with no repercussions, because I have no incentive to try any of the other characters.

I still dislike that. I would have mixed up my party for the entire game anyway just because. I don't want to be restricted to the same two party members for the whole game just for the sake of getting an achievement. And then replaying twice more with the same restriction just for more achievements. I normally don't farm the game dry for all the points, but I do them if they're within reach. The 80% ones were attainable, but painfully added to the tedium of the side missions because I couldn't vary my party.

 

[RheynbowDash]

There is one game that has an achievement for pressing the start button.

I think thats "The Simpsons Game"

 

[Composer]

this is going to sound lame but, in a game (i forgot the name) theres an achievement called lone wolf" which is achieved by not doing anything for 15 minutes.
an achievement i got accidentally while eating dinner.

 

[phimax100]

Oh man, this flash game has the *best* achievements ever, my favorite is "earn an achievement".

http://www.kongregate.com/games/ArmorGames/achievement-unlocked?acomplete=achi

 

[Fenreil]

Story completion achievements are okay if they have good names. Stuff like "Completed Chapter 1-2" is annoying.

The most frustrating achievement for me was "Choose The Impossible" in Bioshock 2. Get to rank 40 in the MP? Sounds easy, but you forgot about the fucking matchmaking system. Takes forever to find a game and you usually get kicked for no reason shortly thereafter.

 

[Crystal Cuckoo]

MW2's achievements.

I get a Callsign for getting nuked? WTF?

 

[Gauntes]

THE GNOME!!!!
THE MOTHER FUCKING GARDEN GNOME!!!!!
ASEIRJSGDBHKLASJDLFIJAIJBOALKRHAKSDJGLBLAHRG!

 

[Roscoe_A]

Achievements for being #1 in the world in online play...I'm sorry but I have a life outside of videogames making that achievement impossible

 

[Chipperz]

Don't knock the chapter achievements! There are some games where having the willpower to complete the damn thing is an achievement of Biblical proportions!

Actually, at the part I'm at now, the "Complete Chapter 12" achievement on FFXIII might actually be harder than "Part the Red Sea" or "Walk on Water"...

 

[scorch 13]

Mile high club in cod 4 is almost impossible but i managed to get it.

 

[slowpoke999]

All the people saying WoW are right, those things take months to acheive,infact, there's one achievement I think where you need two items, and you can get one of them a year, so you literally need to play a minimum of 1 year to get it. I don't think anyone has even gotten all the achievements.

 

[Brad Shepard]

Any achievement that requires you to wait around for a set amount of time.

 

[skitzo van]

That one in Too Human that is unlocked after 100 deaths... so much time wasted wating for the crippled, fatass, moving speed valkyrie...

 

[Furioso]

All the people saying WoW are right, those things take months to acheive,infact, there's one achievement I think where you need two items, and you can get one of them a year, so you literally need to play a minimum of 1 year to get it. I don't think anyone has even gotten all the achievements.

Actually some Korean (correct me if im wrong) guy got every single WoW achievement, the news story is on this site somewhere

 

[Spiner909]

A certain achievement from Warriors Orochi 2 comes to mind: All Clear
Clear All stages on a difficulty levels.
There are around 30 levels. And 5 difficulty levels. And each battle is at least 30 mins.

 

[Bonkekook]

Corrected. The achievement from Vesperia I hated was travelling 100,000 km, or something like that. I had completed everything else, so I set myself flying, with the controller down, for X amount of hours just so I could complete the game's achievements.

Some achievements, like the maxing out your level in BioShock 2's MP, are just moves made by developers to get people to play through their new modes. I don't mind achievements used to get you to play modes that are new, but what they did is try to drain the people who play only for achievements dry. They should have put more achievements like Crackdown has. If you know some of that game's achievements, you know what I am talking about.