The Worst Video Game Plots
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Bad Dudes (Whatcha gonna do when they come from you?)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_DudesCopter400 post=9.68478.633853 said:
That's all the reason I need to spring into action. In games and in real life. I take that as a personal challenge...teknoarcanist post=9.68478.630148 said:
Am I a bad enough dude? I'll fucking show you how bad I am!
My vote goes to "Ball Busters" for the PSOne. It existed. And it was so awesomely terrible.
Sonic. I just can't explain the story with a straight face: It's a blue hedgehog with red sneakers who can run at the speed of sound fighting against a fat cyborg scientist dictator guy for a couple of magic emeralds which can help the hedgehog turn super-saiyan and run even faster. Am I going crazy or is it the game? I'm not even mentioning how sega stuffed the whole franchise up the brown-hole. Everyone's making fun of sonic. Even more since the latest trailer which had 2 things 1: Sonic's oscar winning face expression and 2: A sonic werewolf...were..hedge..hog? The games were good until sonic found thousand new friends who make endless cameos. I couldn't name all the sonic characters even if I was promised a million dollars afterwards.
What? Killer 7 hasn't been mentioned yet? Odd. You can be sober and not follow it at all. Do drugs help?
Final Fantasy 8. I love Final Fantasy, I have played them long enough to understand them better than most criticizers tend to think. 8 however was the first FF that I just hated. Characters where unlikable, took too long to develop to the point where you should sympathize and like squall, by that point you hated him to the point of no return. The story dragged out way too slow, hell disc 1 1/2 was pretty much random boring shit with almost no purpose at all. The only thing I ever liked about the game was the music and visuals, everything else was repulsive.
I played 3 FF games and their plots aren't ridiculous. They aren't the best of the best as some people like to state, but they clearly aren't that bad. What's so hideous about them?shatnershaman post=9.68478.633841 said:
I would like to know myself. I have played a huge majority of them and it irritates me that they get so much flak for some of the dumbest excuses people come up with. Hell sometimes I feel as if said criticizer has even payed any attention the game at all. You think a series that has gone on for just over 20 years would get some respect, but so many haters, very few with justifiable arguments.VeryOblivious post=9.68478.635528 said:
MGS2 has such a painfully bad plot that I broke my controller in anger.
SPOILERS AHEAD, but then again the plot is so retarded you may do well going in prepared:
-Snake buggers off and gets replaced by whiny ass Raiden after an hour of play with no explanation at all
-it turns out that the entire human genome project was a hoax, the explanation "well have you ever COUNTED the genetic code?", sweet-crap, I haven't visited Taiwan that doesn't mean you can just say it's a made up country. This is up there is fake moon landings and x-files. This was all apparently an attempt to see how our genes/memes determine who we are but it comes across as just the ramblings of a stoner with a pre-high school knowledge of genetics.
-Right so there is a third clone, his name is Solidus, his is inexplicably older than Snake and... he was the President of the United States. WTF!!! Oh yeah, and democracy is fake, yeah, President's are elected by some secret society called The Patriots who somehow thought that a cloned mercenary super-soldier would make the perfect puppet-leader, who to spite looking over 65 was only born 30 years ago! More super-stupid than super-secret.
-There are also a whole load of fuctard stupid conspiracy theories like The Patriots control the internet, scientific journals as well as every official power in the world and can manipulate the mass media to suite any agenda, autonomously and instantaneously. That is so ridiculous such a machine could not be built even if everyone co-operated completely with it.
-BTW this was all told to Raiden by a 10 year old girl while she also says that she designed the code for this super computer that controls the world. I thought this was all some sick joke by Kojima, I kept wondering 'Where is the real game, this can't be it!'
-Raiden's back story is just about as engaging and interesting as a PBS commercial, I still wish he would feck off and die so I can play as Snake. "I was a child soldier" gee with all the power of the PS2 they decide to illustrate this through a grainy slide show and audio monologue, talk about un-engaging?
-It turns out that Otacon had sex with his mom, that doesn't creep me out at all nor make the game as awkward watching porn with my extended family
-Dead Cell is like the fat tribute band to Foxhound who is missing a few members and while their imitation is poor, their original work is pathetic.
-the plot is vauge and wandering, you arrive on this rig with no clue at all and no clear objective and is like that till this stereotypical black cop tells you to go on this bomb hunting quest. 'Is this really his Metal Gear' I asked.
-the oil-rig itself is as bland as a shopping mall, good graphics for 2001 the styling is like some Michael Bay movie.
-most of the plot is just read out to you in talking head cutscenes in what has the be the dictionary definition of basal exposition only this is not to lead onto a story-based gameplay but this is simply to lead to an action sequence then another cutscene with yet more monologuing
-I'd be fine with Raiden being gay, but he clearly has a girlfriend, that makes him worse, a mincing pussy who whines to his girlfriend like a bitchy emo teenager on his cellphone very time I use the Codec. How many people have asked the voice actor of Raiden to record answer phone messages? The correct answer is none, with David Hayter's Solid Snake voice being the most popular voice part of our time.
The gameplay was so messed up I thought the entire development team must have been trying deliberately to kill the franchise:
-you spend an entire level running around naked, unarmed and clutching your genitals.
-and the President fondled Raiden's balls after mistaking him for a woman
-one of the bosses just shoots at you from behind the most shameless invisible wall in gaming history. I mean is is a 30 by 40 foot room and she deflects my bullets, so of course I'm gonna try hand to hand combat but NO!! Instead you are just supposed to run around in circles for five minutes till a cutscene has Snake rescue me and again I wish I was not stuck with this pathetic character.
-Another boss fight had you running around spraying bombs with a fire extinguisher, it was just ridiculous. I mean the second boss in MGS1 was a brooding shaman in an M1 tank.
- 7 lame boss fights in MGS2 compared to the 11 classics in MGS (not including the 4 "boss rooms" where Snake is forced to fight guards in special circumstances)
-half the gameplay is almost a DIRECT COPY of MGS1 and even admits as much in the ending
-the new metal gear Rays are easier to kill than the Gekkos in MGS4
-you get a samurai sword yet only have 5 minutes of actual gameplay to use it (queue the hour long cutscene) before the game is over, no you don't get it on the next playthrough.
-Enemy AI is woefully shite. You feel bad for shooting them as it's like shooting geriatrics they are so stupid.
-the stealth is a joke, it is impossible to hide and sneak past the enemy with the terrible camera so the tranq from 100 feet is the usual response.
In my opinion, THE WORST GAME OF IT'S GENERATION!!! and I dare anyone to say otherwise, and don't say graphics or complex story (Complex is not the same as good), it was a complete turkey.
SPOILERS AHEAD, but then again the plot is so retarded you may do well going in prepared:
-Snake buggers off and gets replaced by whiny ass Raiden after an hour of play with no explanation at all
-it turns out that the entire human genome project was a hoax, the explanation "well have you ever COUNTED the genetic code?", sweet-crap, I haven't visited Taiwan that doesn't mean you can just say it's a made up country. This is up there is fake moon landings and x-files. This was all apparently an attempt to see how our genes/memes determine who we are but it comes across as just the ramblings of a stoner with a pre-high school knowledge of genetics.
-Right so there is a third clone, his name is Solidus, his is inexplicably older than Snake and... he was the President of the United States. WTF!!! Oh yeah, and democracy is fake, yeah, President's are elected by some secret society called The Patriots who somehow thought that a cloned mercenary super-soldier would make the perfect puppet-leader, who to spite looking over 65 was only born 30 years ago! More super-stupid than super-secret.
-There are also a whole load of fuctard stupid conspiracy theories like The Patriots control the internet, scientific journals as well as every official power in the world and can manipulate the mass media to suite any agenda, autonomously and instantaneously. That is so ridiculous such a machine could not be built even if everyone co-operated completely with it.
-BTW this was all told to Raiden by a 10 year old girl while she also says that she designed the code for this super computer that controls the world. I thought this was all some sick joke by Kojima, I kept wondering 'Where is the real game, this can't be it!'
-Raiden's back story is just about as engaging and interesting as a PBS commercial, I still wish he would feck off and die so I can play as Snake. "I was a child soldier" gee with all the power of the PS2 they decide to illustrate this through a grainy slide show and audio monologue, talk about un-engaging?
-It turns out that Otacon had sex with his mom, that doesn't creep me out at all nor make the game as awkward watching porn with my extended family
-Dead Cell is like the fat tribute band to Foxhound who is missing a few members and while their imitation is poor, their original work is pathetic.
-the plot is vauge and wandering, you arrive on this rig with no clue at all and no clear objective and is like that till this stereotypical black cop tells you to go on this bomb hunting quest. 'Is this really his Metal Gear' I asked.
-the oil-rig itself is as bland as a shopping mall, good graphics for 2001 the styling is like some Michael Bay movie.
-most of the plot is just read out to you in talking head cutscenes in what has the be the dictionary definition of basal exposition only this is not to lead onto a story-based gameplay but this is simply to lead to an action sequence then another cutscene with yet more monologuing
-I'd be fine with Raiden being gay, but he clearly has a girlfriend, that makes him worse, a mincing pussy who whines to his girlfriend like a bitchy emo teenager on his cellphone very time I use the Codec. How many people have asked the voice actor of Raiden to record answer phone messages? The correct answer is none, with David Hayter's Solid Snake voice being the most popular voice part of our time.
The gameplay was so messed up I thought the entire development team must have been trying deliberately to kill the franchise:
-you spend an entire level running around naked, unarmed and clutching your genitals.
-and the President fondled Raiden's balls after mistaking him for a woman
-one of the bosses just shoots at you from behind the most shameless invisible wall in gaming history. I mean is is a 30 by 40 foot room and she deflects my bullets, so of course I'm gonna try hand to hand combat but NO!! Instead you are just supposed to run around in circles for five minutes till a cutscene has Snake rescue me and again I wish I was not stuck with this pathetic character.
-Another boss fight had you running around spraying bombs with a fire extinguisher, it was just ridiculous. I mean the second boss in MGS1 was a brooding shaman in an M1 tank.
- 7 lame boss fights in MGS2 compared to the 11 classics in MGS (not including the 4 "boss rooms" where Snake is forced to fight guards in special circumstances)
-half the gameplay is almost a DIRECT COPY of MGS1 and even admits as much in the ending
-the new metal gear Rays are easier to kill than the Gekkos in MGS4
-you get a samurai sword yet only have 5 minutes of actual gameplay to use it (queue the hour long cutscene) before the game is over, no you don't get it on the next playthrough.
-Enemy AI is woefully shite. You feel bad for shooting them as it's like shooting geriatrics they are so stupid.
-the stealth is a joke, it is impossible to hide and sneak past the enemy with the terrible camera so the tranq from 100 feet is the usual response.
In my opinion, THE WORST GAME OF IT'S GENERATION!!! and I dare anyone to say otherwise, and don't say graphics or complex story (Complex is not the same as good), it was a complete turkey.
...yea what he said!Treblaine post=9.68478.635705 said:
Well I just hate the MGS plot in general, it's too complicated (mostly unnecessarily so), too ridiculous and isn't really a good story on the whole.
Also the BF:BC plot sucks a big hairy nut sack because you spend half the campaign doing the crappy army missions turned down by every other unit, and then a completely retarded set of events unfold resulting in one of the lamest endings to any game ever.
wtf gears had an awsome storyline if u read up and studied the game first, he was in prison because he failed to complete a set of orders which killed fenix's father santiago was in there on a mission and freed him. any way it doesnt need a story line everything fucks up and u pritty much play to deploy the resinator which fukes up. i think the games trying to tell u not everything goes as planed and can get screwed in every direction.
Oh man, how could I have forgotten Assassins Creed in my first post?
SPOILERS
You're an assassin during the crusades, sworn to kill the bad men of the land to regain your lost honor. But...no, wait a moment, no you're not. You're really some dick from the present (or possibly a little bit into the future) who is somehow reliving his much more kick-ass ancestors memories through some ridiculous machine thing for some dastardly corporation who is somehow using the memories to find some special item which will probably help them take over the world.
Seriously, thats about as much as the plot lets on. And then, at the very end of the game, everyone just leaves the room, except for the supposed main character, who sees some freaking shit written on his wall during some kind of psychedelic trip. Then the credits roll.
SPOILERS
You're an assassin during the crusades, sworn to kill the bad men of the land to regain your lost honor. But...no, wait a moment, no you're not. You're really some dick from the present (or possibly a little bit into the future) who is somehow reliving his much more kick-ass ancestors memories through some ridiculous machine thing for some dastardly corporation who is somehow using the memories to find some special item which will probably help them take over the world.
Seriously, thats about as much as the plot lets on. And then, at the very end of the game, everyone just leaves the room, except for the supposed main character, who sees some freaking shit written on his wall during some kind of psychedelic trip. Then the credits roll.