The "Yep. I'm definitely going to Hell" moment.

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Sion_Barzahd

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Jul 2, 2008
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The guilt of once staying over at a mate's house and bumping into his sister in her bathrobe when i wandered to use the bathroom and thinking "Wow, i'd definately do her."

I have said and done many other things which make me, or others, tell me that i'm going to hell. Those aren't things i'm too willing to share though xD
 

David_G

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Aug 25, 2009
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HassEsser said:
David_G said:
Ah yes, also women laughing with salad threads.
Hell yea. And, speaking of which, why the fuck are there so many images of women laughing with salad?
Haha I don't know. I was surprised the first time I saw one of those threads, too. Did you know that the reason people posted them was because at first there was Child Porn hidden inside those files, once the mods figured it out though, people that posted images that had Child Porn were banned, and this is what's left.

But seriously, there are way too many pictures of women eating salad while laughing on the internet.
 

Lexodus

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Apr 14, 2009
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William Ossiss said:
pfft. i wiped my arse with a holy bible. regret it? yeah.
I did that once, you get all sorts of nasty paper cuts from a King James :L
 

HassEsser

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Jul 31, 2009
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David_G said:
Haha I don't know. I was surprised the first time I saw one of those threads, too. Did you know that the reason people posted them was because at first there was Child Porn hidden inside those files, once the mods figured it out though, people that posted images that had Child Porn were banned, and this is what's left.

But seriously, there are way too many pictures of women eating salad while laughing on the internet.
Oh no. . . cat's out of the bag now, I guess. But, uh, yea, I knew that; I didn't partake, though, that's not my thing. But I gotta hand it to anon, they are a fucking clever bunch.
 

Jonluw

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May 23, 2010
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That would be when I watched that Shell shock video with Bird is the word running in the background.
 

k-ossuburb

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Jul 31, 2009
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I became an atheist.

Apparently that's an instant ticket to the Satan's Playland place right there (or so I've been told).

Good thing I don't believe in any of it, otherwise I'd probably be worried.
 

David_G

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Aug 25, 2009
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HassEsser said:
David_G said:
Haha I don't know. I was surprised the first time I saw one of those threads, too. Did you know that the reason people posted them was because at first there was Child Porn hidden inside those files, once the mods figured it out though, people that posted images that had Child Porn were banned, and this is what's left.

But seriously, there are way too many pictures of women eating salad while laughing on the internet.
Oh no. . . cat's out of the bag now, I guess. But, uh, yea, I knew that; I didn't partake, though, that's not my thing. But I gotta hand it to anon, they are a fucking clever bunch.
Yeah, I thought that you knew that but I always found that fact interesting. The ingenious of anon never ceases to amaze me.
 

Angerwing

Kid makes a post...
Jun 1, 2009
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Telling racist jokes about Jews around my Saudi friend. He doesn't mind the content of the jokes, and we're not racist, it's just that it freaks him the fuck out when we say those loudly near him. You know, being a very faithful Muslim Saudi, there are some social expectations regarding his opinion of Jews. We laugh at his reaction, not the jokes.

Also I work as a salesman, and I've done some evil things. Basically tricking someone into signing up to a rent contract, which will mean he will pay an extra 3 grand over 3 years on a 4 grand contract. Overcharging old ladies, overcharging other folks. Once got a guy to pay an extra $120 to get a black Wii, because they're "harder to get in" and he didn't want a white Wii. We actually had the same amount of both, they cost us the same amount, and they're just as easy to get in.

And that's barely scratching the surface of my job-place discretions.
 

ReaperzXIII

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Jan 3, 2010
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I had a spanish trip and I needed money to buy clothes, in the morning I went to ask for money only to find out my Grandma had died, I didn't know her and I'm a cold bastard anyway so I didn't really feel anything. Then my dad told me he needed money to go Nigeria and bury her, cut to me a few seconds later walking downstairs a tad bit peeved coz I didn't have my money thinking "how come everything bad happens to me? Why couldn't she have died later"

Yeah...

Another time, we were in an assembly about disabled people, que some woman in a wheelchair talking about herself then said that her favourite activity is skiing. Next thing I'm silently laughing wondering to myself how that would work and I just imagined them throwing her off her wheelchair down a mountain with her screaming "WHEEEE!!!"

Told one of my really kind-hearted friends that, she thought I was monster, my male friends laughed but just thought I was an actual asshole
 

ReservoirAngel

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Nov 6, 2010
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During a lesson we had during secondary school, my teacher was talking about diversity of sexuality and equality, and perceptions of different sexualities, and all that stuff.

He mentioned "what would you think if you found out a boy your age didn't play football with his friends, but instead enjoyed sewing dresses?"

Cue me cracking up so hard I fell off my chair and had to be sent out of the room for a good 10 minutes while I tried to calm myself down.

Upon entering the room again, the simple question "why did you find that so funny?" was met with the answer of "cause that dress-making dude sounded like such a ******."

I am gonna burn for insensitivity, discrimination, and severe irony.
 

Popadoo

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May 17, 2010
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Well, it was back when I played Warcraft, and a guild member said his uncle died.
Then I said this:

'Did he drop any epics?'
 

[.redacted]

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Jan 24, 2010
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I think the problem here is that I don't get the whole shame thing. I think "now I've lost the opportunity to do/get something" instead, which is incredibly selfish.

The sad thing is, I don't feel shame about that either.

Though I must say, I'm rather defeated on the topic of why I'm posting this up...
 

conzan

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Apr 16, 2010
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I don't know really a lot of the jokes I make are not PC but there not hurting anyone, so does it count, I pretty much ruin every horror movie i got to just laughing so loud so people can hear what happening
and naming my Indian friend at collage san-jay instead of his real name bappy (like I said he laughed about it and uses it as a nick name now)
and the best moment ever playing dead space 2 with my mate got to that bit with there child in the washing machine thing, i just walked up to it and said "fucking pussy" kept us laughing for a while
 

AngloDoom

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Aug 2, 2008
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A girl was flirting with me who lived near me. She was irritating, controlling over her friends, and overall an aggressive person who I didn't particularly like. When she hinted that she liked me I tried to say something to put her off, and did all too well:

"Hearing that you fancy me is like hearing I have a terminal disease. I'm going to feel lifeless and sad for a long time."

Instant regret. A lot of tears. Me awkwardly shuffling away.
 

Tharwen

Ep. VI: Return of the turret
May 7, 2009
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Whenever I listen to the Westboro Baptist Church, I learn dozens of new ways in which I'll be going to hell :D

HassEsser said:
. . . cheese pizza threads. . .

Someone had to say it.
...not really.
 

Kazzak

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Oct 5, 2009
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Me and my friends are going to hell.

We made a sex joke regarding BDSM and Hitlers Secret Service (the SS)

BDSSM. We are totally screwed
 

MBergman

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Oct 21, 2009
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Can't really remember any of my own, a friend of mine had something of the sort however.

He had got his then current girlfriend to agree to trying out the bum sex. Upon commencing however she tells him to "Stop, it hurts!" To which he replied: "Yeah? So does a bullet in the head!"

Needless to say he didn't get to put his wiener anywhere close to her for a while.
 

Shadesong

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Nov 15, 2010
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I pretty much just wake up and say, "Howdy, Satan" as a preemptive measure.

The one that springs to mind was from a couple of years ago. A friend and I were talking about some woman who had received a face transplant after being shot (I'll give you three guesses as to where), I commented on how far medical science has come along, and then she showed me the woman. I believe my exact words were, "Kill it with fire."